Undercover Honeymoon
by 88Ashley88
Summary: Who doesn't want to get paid to take a dream vacation? Erin and Jay are going undercover as newlyweds on a luxary liner to catch a thief. How long before business and pleasure collide?
1. Come Sail Away With Me

**My first Chicago PD fan fic! I am a massive "Linstead" shipper. I've been brain-storming ideas for a Linstead story and this is what I've come up with. I hope that you enjoy it.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING OR ANYBODY THAT HAS TO DO WITH CHICAGO PD OR ANY SONGS THAT ARE MENTIONED IN THIS STORY.**

**Undercover Honeymoon: Who doesn't want to get paid to take a dream vacation? Erin and Jay are going undercover as newlyweds on a luxary liner to catch a thief. How long before business and pleasure collide?**

**Rated T to M**

Jay Halstead sighed as he zipped his suitcase. He wasn't exactly looking forward to his latest assignment. A 7 day cruise may sound like a dream to some, but not to a detective who had always had a mild case of sea sickness.

"So, you planning on telling Lindsay that you're into her?" Adam asked as he sank down onto Jay's couch.

"Ruzek, you're losing it. It's not like that with me and Erin, we're partners. Nothing more...nothing less" Jay pulled the handle up on his rolling suitcase and grabbed his duffel bag as he looked around to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything.

"Whatever you say, Halstead. All I know is I'm going to love seeing your balls gold plated on Voight's desk when you don't keep it in your pants on this assignment" Ruzek laughed as he stood up and helped Jay with his bags.

"Shit" Jay swore and walked back into the bedroom before coming out with a small velvet box.

"What's that?" Ruzek asked pulling a duffel bag over his muscular shoulder.

"It's nothing" Jay said as Adam yanked the box out of his hands.

Adam took the box and opened it and looked at the 2 carat princess cut ring nestled in the box. "What the hell is this?"

Jay sighed and looked at Adam "It's a ring. It's for Erin. If we're going undercover than it needs to be believable"

Adam looked at his friend and then down at the ring before closing the box. "You're going to give your partner a ring like this and tell me it doesn't mean something?"

Jay grabbed the ring back before shoving it in his jacket pocket. "Yes. Nothing is going on between me and Lindsay. Now let's go before we're late and Voight rips us all a new one"

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Erin Lindsay stood at the cruise ship terminal waiting on her partner. Dawson and Olinksy were already on board setting their equipment up while Voight was giving the the cruise ship director and captain a run down of what was going on with the undercover work.

Erin looked at her watch and down the terminal to see her partner walking towards her.

"Where ya been Halstead?" Erin asked as sat her duffel bag down and waited for her partner to catch up.

"Sorry, parking is a bitch and trying to get through security is even worse" Jay explained as he finally met up with Erin.

"Well, Voight is pretty pissed at you. You missed the final briefing" Erin explained as she reached into her purse to retrieve her sunglasses.

"Shit. Well, at least I won't have to see him for a week" Jay rolled his eyes and adjusted his bag on his shoulder.

"Nice of you to finally join us, Halstead. I was starting to think I was going to have to do my job AND yours" Hank Voight said quietly but sternly.

"Traffic boss. What can you do?" Jay attempted to joke.

"What can you do? Show up on time Halstead that's what you can do. I don't know how I can trust you to take down a con artist, when I can't even trust you to make it to a boat on time" Voight narrowed his eyes at Jay as he looked around the room at the other passengers before continuing. "This isn't some vacation for the two of you. This. Is. Business. Mike Lane is one of the biggest money laundering con artists of the last 5 years. He's looking to take a big hit on the casino this week. Your job is to take him down. Olinsky and Dawson are already on board setting up. Get on there and get to your room. I'll meet you to video chat tonight with your latest updates"

Jay and Erin nodded and took their envelope that Voight handed to them. They pulled out their boarding passes. Erin couldn't help but feel the pull on her heart at the name "Mrs. Erin Halstead" printed across the top of her boarding pass.

"Suite 234? Fancy Sargent" Jay said looking at his boarding pass and giving a quick glance at Erin before looking at Voight.

"It's not a vacation. But if you're going to play newlyweds than you're going to have to follow the part" Voight looked down at his watch and back at Erin and Jay. "You need to board. Olinsky and Dawson are only a few rooms down from your suite in 226. Keys to both rooms are in the envelopes. Follow your orders and DON'T break the cover"

Jay cleared his throat before looking at Erin "Speaking of cover" and reached into his pocket to pull out the ring "I figure if you're going to be Mrs. Halstead this week than you should look the part"

Jay opened the box and pulled the ring out and handed it to Erin who raised an eyebrow as she looked at it.

"Jay...this is too much. Where did you get this?" Erin asked struck by the beauty of the ring in her hand.

"It was my mom's. Well is my mom's it belonged to my grandmother and she gave it to me to give to my wife. Well, you're technically my wife this week...so it goes to you" Jay explained his eyes never leaving Erin's.

She smiled softly at him and slipped it on her finger "Thanks Jay, It's beautiful"

Jay smiled and continued to stare at Erin. He didn't have to lift his gaze to feel the icy glare from Voight.

"I'm going to go and grab a magazine before we board. I'll be back" Erin said as she stepped away from Jay and Hank and walked to the magazine stand across the terminal.

"I'm not sure if I need to run this by you again Halstead but if you're going to continue to work in this unit. Erin is off limits. So any fantasy you have about her isn't going to happen" Voight's voice was low and his gaze hot as he made his feelings clear to the young man in front of him.

"I understand you completely, Sargent. No need to be a broken record" Jay held Hank's gaze as he looked at the older man who was more or less Erin's father.

Hank was about to respond, but was interrupted by Erin walking back up.

"You ready, Mr. Halstead?" Erin joked as she rejoined the two men she knew she could trust her life with.

"Sure, Mrs. Halstead" Jay joked.

He and Erin both laughed but their laughter quickly faded as they looked at Voight who wasn't seeing the humor in their joke.

"One Week. You know you're job. Don't screw up, this guy is capable of anything" Voight turned and walked away out of the terminal and out of sight.

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"Was he that cheerful when you were a teenager?" Jay asked as he and Erin stepped out of the elevator and made their way down the hallway looking for thier suite.

"He used to be a lot more mellow" Erin said as she looked at the numbered doors as she made her way down the hallway "Until he walked in on me...Well, you're not old enough for that story"

Jay rolled his eyes as he followed Erin "Was this before or after he took you to the prom?"

Erin stopped and turned to look at him. "Are you still jealous?"

"You wish" Jay scoffed as he brushed past Erin and found their room

"You wish" Erin mumbled reaching into the envelope to hand Jay the key card to the suite.

"No, you wish" Jay said taking the key from her and opening the door to the suite.

"Oooo, daddy got the big suite" Jay exclaimed looking around the room from the doorway before stepping in.

Erin stood in the doorway and cleared her throat before folding her hands over her chest.

Jay turned around and looked at Erin. "Aren't you coming in?"

Erin gestured up to the door and said "Mr. Halstead, husband. You're supposed to carry me over the threshold"

Jay looked at his partner and said "Are you shitting me?"

Erin shook her head "You know, I never really understood that expression, but no I'm not shitting you"

Jay sat his duffel bag down and walked back over to Erin. He wrapped his arms around her slender frame and lifted her with ease Bridal Style. "You need to lay off the pizza there Lindsay, you're getting heavy"

"Kiss my ass" Erin furrowed her brow and wrapped her arms around Jay's neck as he carried her into their suite.

Jay laughed and walked into the suite touring the spacious room while still carrying his partner. "This place is amazing"

Erin looked around the room taking note of the single king sized bed against the far wall. "Um, Jay"

Jay looked at Erin before following her gaze to the bed. "Oh"

Erin loosened her grip around Jay's neck as he gently sat her down on her feet. "I guess one bed in a honeymoon suite makes the most sense"

Jay nodded and looked at Erin. Things were about to get real intresting.


	2. Can't Read My Poker Face

**Thanks for all of the reviews guys, I really appreciate each and every one of them. You make it a lot easier to get motivated to update! If you guys have any suggestions as to what you'd like to see happen in the story, just drop me a comment and I'll do my best to incorporate it into the story.**

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Jay stood on the on board balcony that was connected to his and Erin's room and took a drink of his beer before glancing down at his watch.

"Erin!" Jay called opening the sliding door to walk back into the suite "We've got to get going. Lane's going to beat us down to the casino"

"Guess you should get your shoes on then Halstead" Erin said opening the bathroom door.

Jay's breath caught in his throat and he couldn't deny the arousal in his lower belly as he looked at Erin. Her hair was pinned up and the red dress she wore fell to just below her thighs and clung to her in all the right places.

"What?" Erin said her eyes not leaving Jay's "Do you think it's too much?"

Jay shook his head and kept his eyes on Erin "You look amazing"

Neither could deny the tension that filled the room as they stood in silence for a few seconds looking at each other. Erin's gaze dropped from Jay's and she ran her hands down the bottom of her dress. The diamond ring on her hand caught the light and sparkled. A small smile formed on her lips as she looked at it.

"You know, you really didn't have to give me this ring. The unit was willing to supply one" Erin brought her hand up and ran her fingers over the stone.

Jay furrowed his brow at Erin and took the few steps toward her. "I didn't want the unit to supply you with one. You're more to me than just some mission from Voight"

Erin's eyes sparkled as she looked up at Jay. "Maybe one day, right?"

Jay closed the remaining gap between him and Erin and ran his hand across her cheek. "Oh, definitely"

Erin raised her hand to hold the one that Jay still had on her cheek and she closed her eyes as she felt him lean forward. "Jay..."

Jay's gaze looked over Erin's face before he closed his eyes and leaned the rest of the way forward. His lips just inches from hers.

The shrill cry of the phone on the table broke the young partners apart like two teenagers caught by parents. Erin backed away from Jay and he silently cursed as he watched her walk over to the bedside table and answer it.

"Hello?" Erin said into the receiver.

"Mike Lane has exited his room and is heading towards the casino" Dawson said watching the security tape footage from the room he shared with Olinksy.

"We're leaving now" Erin replied as she looked at Jay who was slipping on his shoes.

"Olinsky is on his way down with your ear pieces. We've got clear video shots of the casino and the surrounding tables" Dawson explained looking over the paperwork in front of him.

"Ok. we'll meet back with you later" Erin looked at the door at Olinsky who was walking in. She hung up from her conversation with Dawson and walked over to the table where Olinsky was setting the ear pieces up.

"You know the drill, guys. The ear pieces are connected to a microphone. Dawson and I will be in contact with the two of you while you're in the casino. We'll be watching Lane and looking for any signs that he has one or more accomplices"

"You think there's more than just Mike Lane?" Jay asked taking his ear piece and slipping it into his ear.

"It's hard to tell right now. The jobs seem to be getting to big for Lane to be doing on his own. It's becoming more clear that it's not just an outside job anymore" Olinsky explained as he finished with Erin's ear piece and handed it to her.

Erin slipped the ear piece in her ear and watched as Olinsky closed the case that contained the ear pieces and stepped towards the door. "Security has been briefed on the situation. They're not to interfere unless things were to escalate to a violent state" Olinsky explained before opening the door and disappearing down the hall.

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"Are we going to talk about what happened in the room?" Erin asked as she stepped off the eleveator and followed Jay to the casino.

"There's nothing to talk about. Nothing happened" Jay said as he and Erin made their way down to the ship to the doors of the casino.

"Jay...we both know that's not true. What was going to happen back there?" Erin asked grabbing Jay's arm and pulling him back to look at her.

Jay sighed as he looked at the glass doors to the casino and then back at Erin. "Lindsay, if I have to explain it to you than it obviously doesn't mean to you what it meant to me"

Erin looked at Jay her eyes searching his before she spoke "Jay. I..."

Erin was cut off by Dawson's voice in her ear. "_Lane is entering casino of portside of the ship" _

Jay broke Erin's gaze and looked at the casino doors before looking back at her. "You ready?"

She nodded and said "Yes" before she felt Jay's fingers link through hers and the two walked into the casino.

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Jay looked down at his poker hand before looking across the table at Mike Lane who concealed his eyes with sunglasses. Lane was quiet, focused as he played the game. Erin stood behind Jay as she glanced around the casino at anything she thought could be suspicious. "Nothing out of the oridinary" she thought to herself. She looked around at all of the people in the casino and the workers who were all talking back and forth.

Jay sighed as the game ended and watched as Mike Lane collected all of his winnings. The man hadn't lost a hand since they stepped to the table. He was already up $5,000 and they still weren't sure how he was managing all his winnings.

"You sure are lucky man. What's your secret?" Jay asked as he watched Mike stack is poker chips up in front of him.

"I'm just good at poker, brother" Mike smirked as he pulled his glasses down over his nose and glanced at Erin. "Seems like you're pretty lucky yourself"

Jay looked over at Erin and smiled before snaking his hand around her waist and pulling her closer to him. "Yeah, just celebrating our honeymoon"

Jay noticed how Lane's gaze never left Erin's and couldn't ignore the feelings of jealosy of Mike Lane sweeping his eyes up and down Erin's body.

"If I was here with that. I wouldn't be down here playing poker with a bunch of men" Mike smiled at Erin and gave her a slight nod.

"Well, I thought that he deserved a little break. I couldn't keep my husband locked up forever" Erin ran her hand through Jay's hair and down the back of his neck and smiled at him before looking over at the man they were trying to bring down for stealing millions. "Maybe you can give him a tip on how to actually win a hand though"

Mike laughed to himself as he looked at Erin and Jay. "Well, I can't divulge my secrets. I will say this "It's all in the wrist"

Mike stood from the table and nodded to Jay and Erin before walking out onto the deck.

Jay stood and looked at Erin. "I'm going to go out and see if I can get anymore out of him. I'll meet you upstairs"

Erin nodded and let go of Jay's hand as he bent down and kissed her cheek before walking outside.

_"Erin, head back up. We'll review the tapes for any clues" _Olinsky said into the ear piece.

Erin looked at the doors to the deck before turning on her heel and heading to the elevators.

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Jay took his drink from the bar and headed over to where he saw Mike standing and drinking a beer. He pushed his ear piece deeper into his ear and walked over to Mike.

"You here on business or pleasure?" Jay asked as he walked over to Mike.

"Little bit of both you could say, I mean poker's my business, but women are my pleasure" Mike's gaze followed the waitress who was walking around taking drink orders.

"Looking for pleasure I see" Jay said taking a drink of his beer.

Mike shrugged his shoulders "No harm in a little bit of fun. She's cute don't you think?"

Jay said "I don't know. I'm here with my wife so I have to try to behave"

Mike laughed and said "She's a good looking girl"

Jay smiled as he thought of Erin and he said "That she is"

"How long you been fucking her?" Mike asked

Jay looked at Mike and saw the gold band that was on his ring finger. "I don't know. How long have you been fucking your wife?"

Mike looked at the ring on his hand "Oh, I'm not married"

Jay looked out at the ocean and then back to Mike "Then what's with the ring?"

Mike shrugged his shoulder "All sorts of reasons: It's an ass magnet, it keeps the the drama down, or brings it in if that's what I'm looking for, but mostly, it makes strangers think I'm trustworthy"

"Aren't you?" Jay asked taking a drink of his beer.

Mike laughed and shook his head "Guess you'll just have to wait and see"

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"After reviewing that tapes it's became clear that Lane is indeeed working with someone aboard the ship. We're not sure who the 2nd suspect is, but we think it's someone who is working in the ship vault" Olinsky explained looking at the video footage. "One of the vault workers was spotted having a short exchange with Lane. We're working with the captain to get a positive ID of the worker on the tape"

Erin nodded as she watched to exchange on the monitors and pointed to the screen "This guy" she said pointing to the vault worker. "He was in the casino earlier talking to one of the dealers"

Dawson typed on the computer to pull up some footage "Are you sure?" he asked as he started reviewing the tape.

"I'm positive" Erin said as she sat back in her chair. "He was talking with one of the black jack dealers in the corner while we were at the poker table"

Dawson and Olinksy ran through some tape and adjusted the cameras to find the subjects in question. "Good eye, Lindsay"

Erin nodded as she watched the exchange on screen and saw the vault worker walk away and the other subject bring his hand up to his wrist up to his mouth before quickly dropping it back down.

The sound of the suite door opening and closing caued Erin to turn her head and look at Jay who was walked over and take his ear piece out.

"Any new information?" Dawson asked taking the ear piece and placing it beside Erin's to charge.

"Just trying to be an intimidating son of a bitch" Jay said as he took a seat next to Erin.

"We were just telling Lindsay that it's 100% an inside job. He's not working alone" Olinsky explained and went on to tell Jay what he and Dawson had discovered on day 1 of the investigation.

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"This guy is smart. But he's going to make a mistake" Jay said as he and Erin walked to their suite. "They always do"

Erin shook her head as she held onto Jay's arm as they walked "I know it. I just think of all the people he's screwed out of money and it just pisses me off"

Jay nodded and said "We'll get him. He's not that sly"

Erin let go of Jay's arm as they walked to their suite. "So, about those sleeping arrangements"

Jay held open the door and let Erin walk in "I'll be a perfect gentleman"

Erin laughed and shook her head at Jay "What no Scrabble?"

Jay shut the door to his and Erin's room and loosened the top buttons on his dress shirt. "I can't believe that you'd think that of me"

Erin laughed and slipped her shoes off "Aw, poor baby. Did I hurt your feelings?"

Jay walked over to Erin and shook his head "Lindsay, you should know by now that you can't hurt my feelings"

Erin tilted her head to the side and looked at her partner "Is that so?"

Jay ran his hand up Erin's arm and picked a piece of lint off the strap of her dress. "Yeah"

Erin's eyes darkened and she ran her hand up Jay's chest. "I only have one request"

Jay wrapped his arms around Erin and sucked in his breath as he pulled her to him. His eyes darkened his body starting to respond to the beautiful girl in his arms. "What's that?" he whispered.

Erin ran her hands down around Jay's back and stood up on her tip toes before her lips were close enough to Jay's to almost touch.

"I sleep on the left side" She whispered before pulling away and heading into the bathroom, leaving Jay standing alone in the suite.


	3. Dream a Little Dream of Me

**I'm back with an update! I am glad you guys liked the last chapter and are enjoying the plot of this story. I will give you a warning THIS CHAPTER IS A STRONG M. MATURE READERS ONLY. They won't all be like this, but this chapter is. Just be advised.**

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Jay sat reclined in the bed flipping channels on the TV plastered on the wall. He sighed as he hit the buttons on the remote trying to find anything that would peak his intrest. He made his way through the channels before deciding on "Jurrassic Park"

He turned the bedside light off and his attention turned toward the bathroom door opening and his partner stepping out in her silk nightgown. Jay's gaze followed Erin as she put her dirty clothes away and walked over to the mirror and started brushing her hair.

"Stop being a perv, Halstead" Erin held Jay's gaze in the mirror and smiled as she watched him look away.

Jay turned his gaze back to the TV and rolled his eyes "Sorry, I just wanted to get a good look at the person who's responsible for using up all the hot water on board a 600 passenger ship"

Erin rolled her eyes and sat her brush down on the vanity before turning to look at her partner. "Says the man who secretly gets massages he thinks nobody else knows about"

Jay's head whipped around "Excuse me?"

Erin stood up from her chair and walked over to her side of the bed "Oh, you didn't know I knew that? Yeah, Ruzek told me all about your secret trips to the massage parlor"

Jay shook his head "Yeah? well did Ruzek also tell you he's got a death wish?"

Erin pulled the covers on her side of the bed back and quickly looked at Jay who was sleeping clad in a pair of boxer shorts and nothing else.

"Please, like you'd ever do anything to hurt your boyfriend" Erin sat down on the bed and pulled the covers up over her legs before settling back against the pillows.

"Ruzek doesn't know anything about me. Maybe I don't go for the massages. Maybe I just like Happy Endings" Jay raised an eyebrow as he looked over at his partner.

"You're sick" Erin shook her head and looked at the clock. "What time are we supposed to meet with Dawson and Onlinsky?"

Jay looked at the clock and said "We're supposed to meet them at 8 in the morning. The ship is supposed to have a day at sea, so it should be another day of gambling for Mike Lane. We won't have any ground coverage until Monday when the ship docks on port for the day"

Erin nodded and yawned as she rolled over on her side "I'm going to hit the gym in the morning. Are you going to come with me?"

Jay shook his head "No thanks. I don't think this ship gym can keep up with my training"

"Said like someone who knows they'd get their ass kicked in the gym with me" Erin replied as she pulled the covers up around her shoulder.

"Lindsay, I can kick your ass anytime...anywhere. And I can't believe you're going to bed already. I mean if we're playing the part...this is our honeymoon. Shouldn't you treat me to a wife duty?" Jay asked touching Erin gently on the shoulder.

Erin turned her head to look at Jay "Aw. what did you have in mind?"

Jay raised an eyebrow and smiled "Is this the kind of treatment that you gave Severide? You must be a horrible "Scrabble" player"

Erin rolled her eyes for the 100th time that night and looked at her partner "Halstead, you should be so lucky. For your information, when I play "Scrabble" I play all night"

"Well, since I'm technically your "husband" you should consider giving me a game" Jay leaned closer to Erin and she shook her head before rolling out of the way.

"Keep on your side of the bed, Halstead. Anything I feel of yours around me, I will cut off" Erin felt Jay roll back on his back.

"Invitation is always open for you Lindsay" Jay smiled as he heard Erin sigh.

"I'll keep that in mind, Halstead"

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Erin stirred in the early morning sun. She could feel Jay's breath against her ear and she sighed softly, cuddling closer to him. He shifted in his sleep, nuzzling her ear and mumbling something incoherent as his arms tightened around her a little.

She opened her eyes and looked at his sleeping face, smiling slightly at the look she found there. He looked peaceful and childlike in his sleep, a goofy, contented smile on his face.

Erin lifted her hand and brushed her fingers over his face softly and he sighed in his sleep, like he knew she was touching him, and his face relaxed slightly.

She kissed the spot over his heart, feeling the steady beat of it under her lips as she heard him mumble her name softly.

She felt his cock twitch against her thigh and she smiled. Never doubt Jay to be raring to go first thing in the morning. He would certainly keep her on her toes if they were to be together or if it were entirely up to him, he'd keep her on her back.

Erin giggled to herself as she tried to resist the urge to reach down and slide her hand into his boxers, but it just became too much of a temptation.

Her fingers slowly traveled over his stomach, through the thin line of hair there, and slid under the elastic of his boxers as Jay shifted again but didn't wake up.

Erin sighed as she wrapped her fingers around him and he twitched and grew harder beneath her fingers. She stroked him gently from base to tip and his hips jerked slightly.

Erin kissed his chest softly before moving gently out of his embrace, her hand slipping from beneath his boxers.

He rolled onto his back, his now raging erection pressing prominently against the soft fabric of his cotton boxers.

Erin scooted down on the bed, tossing the light sheet to the floor. She slipped her fingers under the waistband of his boxers and slid them down over his hips, his erection popping free, bobbing in anticipation.

Jay mumbled and shifted again, giving Erin just the opportunity she needed to slide his boxers lower and down his legs. She slipped them off and settled herself between his thighs.

Erin blew on his cock softly and watched it jump in reaction. She giggled softly before she lowered her mouth to him, taking his head between her lips, her tongue swirling around the tip as she began sucking him softly. His hips instinctively arched off the bed as she took him further in her mouth, the heat of her mouth causing him to begin throbbing.

She pulled back and blew softly on him again, her cool breath against his hot skin, causing him to jump again. She swirled her tongue over the soft head and down the underside of his shaft.

Jay moaned in his sleep and Erin smiled, loving how much she affected him even in his sleep and she took him deep in her mouth again. She wrapped one hand around his base as she sucked him harder, her tongue flicking against him as her lips slid up and down.

Jay's eyes fluttered open and he moaned again gutturally as he reached down to bury his fingers in Erin's silky hair.

"Erin?". He whispered sleepily as he looked down to see her head bobbing up and down on him. His hips bucked against her and he groaned as he gently caresses the back of her head. The feel of her lips on his achingly hard member was like heaven.

"Erin". He said again, his voice husky as he felt himself getting closer to the edge.

Erin smiled around him and she sped up her motions.

Jay felt the telltale tightening in his balls and his hips arched high off the bed as he groaned loudly, coming into her mouth in heated spurts, his entire body shaking. Jay fought to slow his breathing as his hips lowered to the bed, his legs trembling as they relaxed.

Erin swallowed every last drop and licked him clean, her tongue gently swirling around him as he softened.

"Erin" He whispered her name again reverently as she kissed a gentle path over his stomach to his chest. Jay wrapped his arms around her, burying his head in her hair and sighed.

"Good morning" he mumbled softly into her neck

Erin pressed closer to him as he turned his body to face her.

She looked at him and smiled "Good morning".

Jay's brow furrowed as he looked at her "What are you doing to me?"

Her fingers gently covering his lips interrupted him. "I know you'd never hurt me. I just needed awhile to feel safe with someone. I really want to be with you"

Jay kissed her fingers softly, his tongue slipping out to tickle the tips of her fingers. Erin giggled and Jay felt his heart leap in his chest at the sound. He took one between his lips and sucked it gently.

Erin's eyes darkened with desire and Jay's mirrored hers as his other hand gently drew small circles on her stomach. He wanted desperately to touch her but he wasnt sure if she was ready.

Erin saw the hesitation in his eyes and she leaned forward to kiss him, taking his hand in hers and guiding it down into the small scrap of silk she wore. Erin lifted her leg over his hip, giving him better access as his fingers willingly found her ready.

Jay moaned softly into her mouth and his cock jumped and began to harden again at just the feel of her beneath his fingers. His fingers danced over her swollen flesh as Erin closed her eyes and moaned softly, arching her hips toward him.

Jay deepened the kiss as he rolled toward her, his rapidly returning erection pressing against her thigh. Erin pressed closer to his hand, urging his fingers to move lower as she scraped his nipple gently with her nail.

Jay's tongue explored the crevices of her mouth, her sweet taste intoxicating him. Erin opened her mouth wider, her tongue fighting his for dominance as she let him fill her senses completely.

Erin's hand slid over his stomach, his muscles quivering under her soft touch. She wrapped her fingers around his throbbing cock, her thumb sweeping over the tip, spreading the moisture she found there.

Jay pulled his mouth away as he fought to steady his breath, his fingers delving deeper and deeper into her body, and he struggled to open his eyes.

"Erin" He panted softly as his fingers continued to assault her tender flesh, Erin's hips moving in the same rhythm as his fingers.

"Are you sure?"He asked breathlessly.

Erin nibbled his bottom lip as she stroked him harder and she watched his face as he fought to maintain control. She loved him even more for the way he resisted his own urges to make sure she was ready.

"Jay, I want this. I need this" She whispered against his lips as he traced the outline of her lips with his tongue.

Jay looked into her eyes and saw love and trust. There was no fear in her eyes. He became overwhelmed with his love for her and his breath caught in his throat.

"You can control it Erin. Whatever you want and nothing more" Jay struggled with the words as Erin continued to stroke him, bursts of pleasure rippling through him from head to toe.

Erin grinned like a Cheshire cat as she rose to her knees. She bit his bottom lip gently before pulling away from the kiss and his fingers slipped from her. She pushed the silk bottoms covering her down her thighs and off her legs. She slid her tongue into his mouth as she pushed him onto his back and straddled him in one smooth move.

She moaned into his mouth as she settled herself on his waist trapping his hard cock between them. Jay buried his fingers in her hair and he plundered her mouth, stealing her breath.

Erin slid slowly along his length coating him with her moisture as Jays hips bucked up against her and he bit her tongue gently.

Erin pulled away from his lips and sat back, circling her hips against him, teasing him mercilessly.

His eyes darkened as his fingers ached to grab her hips, lift her and impale her on his throbbing cock, but he was afraid to go too fast. He didn't want to rush this. As much as he wanted to flip her over and drive into her over and over, until neither once of them could breath, he held back and let her set the pace.

Erin could sense he was holding back and rose on her knees. Jay's cock popped up, his head nestled at her entrance and Erin leaned forward to kiss his chest. She kissed a path up to his neck and gently nibbled on the skin of his throat.

Her tongue swirled along his throat and up and over his chin as Jay kept his hands at his sides, his fingers fisting involuntarily.

He opened his mouth under hers and she whispered against his lips.

"Jay, please touch me"

His hands lifted to her face and he cupped her cheeks as he held her gaze.

"I love you, Erin"

Erin sat up straight up as Jay's hands fell from her face and rested on her thighs and Erin lowered herself slowly onto him, taking his throbbing flesh into her body inch by glorious inch. He filled her completely and Erin closed her eyes as her body adjusted to him.

A strangled moan escaped from Jay's lips and his eyes rolled back in his head at the feeling of her wet velvet walls surrounding him. His hands settled on her hips gripping her gently.

Erin's head fell back as she began to move against him, rising up on her knees and then lowering herself back down slowly.

Erin's eyelids fluttered as she focused on the feeling of Jay beneath her and inside her. Jay's hands rose to cup her breasts, his thumbs sweeping over her them. Erin threaded her fingers through her hair and she moaned as Jay, unable to hold back any longer, thrust up into her forcefully. 

Erin leaned over him, her breasts grazing his chest as she kissed him deeply. Jay's hand nestled in her hair and he moaned into her mouth as her body shook with the force of her rocking.

Erin whimpered softly before pulling her lips away to sit upright. She leaned back and rested her hands on his thighs as she rocked harder, taking him as deep inside her as he would go. She needed this nothing mattered right now. Not the mission, not Voight, nothing except the man in bed with her.

Needing to taste her again, Jay sat up, his lips clamping over her neck. Erin lifted her hands and buried them in his short hair, holding him captive against her.

Erin kissed the top of his head as she whispered his name and Jay fell onto his back, taking her with him. Jay's hand slid over her sweat slicked skin and rested on her thighs again as he continued to gently bite and sooth her neck with his tongue..

"Jay". She panted as she felt her orgasm quickly approaching and she sat back up, needing the leverage to propel her over the edge.

She grabbed his hand and entwined their fingers as his side. Jay felt her walls contracting around him and that was all it took to send him crashing over the edge. A guttural moan tore from his lips as he exploded inside her as Erin shuddered around him.

Jay grabbed her hips again, holding her steady as he pulsed inside her. Erin leaned forward and collapsed on top of him, her harsh breath tickling the skin of his neck and Jay wrapped his arms around her, holding her gently.

They lay together, as they caught their breath, their heartbeats slowing. Jay placed soft kisses on her forehead and Erin lifted her face up to look at him. He kissed her full and deep as he murmured into her mouth.

"I love you, Erin".

Erin opened her eyes and smiled at him, her watery eyes shining with the love and trust she felt.

"I love you too, Jay" 

**00000000000000000000000000000000000**

Jay's eyes shot open, his breath coming out in harsh pants as he propped himself up on his elbows. He ran a hand through his hair and looked over at the empty space on the bed next to him. The early morning sun rays shown through the gaps in the curtain and he shook his head trying to get the memory of his dream out of his mind. He rolled his head back and groaned as he felt his cock throbbing against the front of his boxers. He heard the key to the door open and struggled to get out of bed and shut the bathroom door just as the door to the suite opened.

"Jay?" Erin said knocking softly on the door.

"Yeah?" Jay called as he turned the shower on.

"I just wanted to make sure you were ok. We have to meet Olinsky in an hour" Erin took a drink of her water bottle and ran zipped her work out jacket up around her.

"Yeah..."Jay said rubbing his eyes "Yeah...I'm just getting ready"

Erin nodded and ran her hand over the door. She walked over to the bed and sat down. She laid back against the blankets and looked up at the ceiling. Should she wanted to ask Jay who he was dreaming about this morning when she left for the gym, but she didn't know if her heart would take the disappointment of knowing it might not be about her. Why did things need to be so complicated between her and Jay? Why couldn't she just love Kelly Severide?

Everything with Severide made sense and on paper they were perfect. That's what her head said, but her heart...damn that heart of hers. It just wouldn't listen to what her mind was screaming for it to hear.

**0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

**Well, I hope that you guys liked the chapter...Like I said, if there's something you'd like to see happen. Just drop it in the comments and I'll try to add it into the story. Hope it wasn't too intense for you. I kinda felt like I owed you guys a little bit of "Scrabble" even if it was only dream "Scrabble". Thanks again for the reviews. You guys rock!**


	4. To Make You Feel My Love

**Hi guys! I have to say, I'm pretty happy that you guys like Linstead "Scrabble" even though it was a dream. Just stick with me, I promise that there will be real "Scrabble" soon. I have so many ideas for this story, so I hope that you guys are liking it enough for me to continue. **

**A/N: I do not own any rights to the song "To Make You Feel My Love" by Garth Brooks.**

**000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Jay sat at the breakfast table on the main deck with Erin. His sunglasses covered his tired eyes as he yawned. He looked over at Erin who was picking at her barely eaten breakfast.

"You really should eat more than that" Jay said. Breaking the comfortable silence that the two had been sitting in.

Erin shrugged her shoulders and laid her fork down "I'm not really hungry"

Jay sighed and took his sunglasses off and placed them on the table before looking back at Erin. "Erin, really? I'm not Voight and I'm not going to argue with you. But, you hardly touched your dinner last night and now you're not eating your breakfast. Eat something"

Erin rolled her eyes in classic fashion and picked up a piece of her toast and took a bite of it. "Happy now?" She asked

Jay leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms "What's going on with you? Severide have you on a diet?"

Erin looked over at Jay and laughed "Not everything in my life is about Kelly Severide"

"Could've fooled me" Jay murmured his eyes scanning the dock for Mike Lane.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Erin asked starting to get pissed.

Jay shook his head and narrowed his eyes at Erin "You know what it means"

Erin shoved her chair out and stood up "Yeah? well next wet dream you have, keep with the tradition and go fuck yourself"

Jay watched as Erin stormed off and he silently cursed to himself and shoved his breakfast plate away before folding his arms onto the table and laying his head on top of them.

"Trouble in paradise?" a voice said from the behind him.

Jay lifted his head up and looked at Mike Lane standing next to him.

"Something like that" Jay said sitting all the way back up.

Mike pulled a chair out and sat down. "Can I give you some advice?"

Jay shrugged his shoulders and said "Sure"

"Your wife seems like a smart ass. And you know what you do with smart asses?" Lane ran his hands down the legs of his cargo shorts.

Jay raised an eyebrow and said "What? Deal with it?"

Mike Lane laughed and shook his head "You're funny. No, you need to put her in her place"

Jay looked at the man sitting next to him and reached for his sunglasses. "You want me to beat my wife?"

Mike nodded and said "That's the only way to keep women in line"

Jay's temper started to rise as the thought of any man laying his hands on a woman, especially Erin flashed through his mind. It took him everything he had not to break his cover. So, he took a deep breath and looked at Mike.

"Thanks for the advice, but I don't think I will be abusing my wife" Jay narrowed his eyes at Lane and pushed his chair out before standing up.

"Was it something I said?" Lane asked as he watched Jay stand "Didn't really mean for you to run off"

Jay pushed his chair in and turned to look at Mike. "No, I just don't want the wife too pissed. It is my honeymoon and all"

Mike Lane watched Jay walk away and he took a drink of his own coffee "If you don't want to put the bitch in line, I will"

**000000000000000000000000000000000**

Jay used his card to go into Olinsky and Dawson's room. He saw Erin sitting at the table with Dawson going over the notes that they had on Lane and his accomplices.

"Voight and the rest of the team are going to be on port tomorrow when we dock. We are going to attempt the take down then" Dawson explained as the team viewed the tapes of the vault worker slipping blank checks out of the sleeves and handing them to Mike Lane.

"Do you think this is going to be trouble with bringing them back to the US?" Erin asked looking through the notes on Lane.

"Extradition plans are already being put into place" Olinsky said looking up from the video cameras of security footage.

Jay looked at Olinsky and said "What do we know about the dealer at the black jack table?"

Olinsky looked back at the security footage and said "Suspect is a 23 year old man. His name is Kyle Smith, originally from South Carolina. His record is clean, just seems like a young kid caught up with the wrong crowd"

Jay glanced down at Erin who kept her eyes on the paperwork in her hands before he looked over at Dawson. "What about the vault worker?"

Dawson raised his arms over his head, stretching his arms over his head "Vault worker is named David Lewis, he's from Texas and other than a few speeding tickets and a citation for Failure to Yield he has no other priors"

Erin said "Is there a common link on how the 3 have found each other?"

Dawson and Olinsky were both silent before Dawson spoke up "We think they all crossed paths in Detroit. Smith was a student in Detroit and Lewis has a speeding ticket from just outside of Detroit"

Jay closed his folder and tossed it down on the desk "Is there anything on Lane and being in trouble for assault?"

Dawson shook his head "Nothing that we ever saw. Why do you ask?"

Jay looked at Erin before looking at Dawson "No reason, he was just trying to feed me some bull shit earlier"

Olinsky stood from his seat and walked over to the table where the other three were sitting. "Just trying to scare you probably"

Erin nodded "He's just more and more twisted every day"

**0000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Later that evening Jay and Erin were sitting on the deck after having dinner. Mike Lane was at the bar talking to a group of girls who were hanging on his every word. Erin scoffed and took a drink of her wine before setting it back down on the table.

Jay looked at her, taking a drink of his beer and said "He's unbelievable"

Erin shook her head "I don't understand why girls like that see in guys like him. All they do is lie to get into your bed and your heart"

Jay kept his gaze on Erin and sat his beer down "Is something bothering you?"

Erin sat back in her chair and folded her arms "Yeah, the thieving Casanova at the bar"

Jay motioned the waitress over and asked for another glass of wine for Erin and a beer for him. "I owe you an apology"

Erin looked away from Lane and over at Jay "For what?"

Jay looked at her and said "This morning. I shouldn't have busted your balls about Severide. If you two are a serious thing, than I apologize"

Erin looked down at her glass of wine before looking over at her partner. "There is no me and Severide. There hasn't been for awhile"

Jay couldn't help the feeling of hope that radiated of him. "I'm sorry"

Erin shrugged her shoulders and took another drink of wine "I shouldn't have told you to go fuck yourself. I took advantage of an embarrassing situation for you and that was wrong"

Jay laughed to himself and said "Yeah"

Erin smiled as the tension between the two completely faded away. She didn't know if it was the two and a half glasses of wine she'd drank, but she wasn't exactly feeling shy right now. "I only knew because I was getting ready for the gym"

Jay nodded and took another drink of his beer. "It's not the first dream I've ever had about her"

Erin felt her heart drop to her stomach "Is it your bartender friend?"

Jay shook his head and his gaze met Erin's "No. It's not her"

Erin held Jay's gaze and said "Anyone I know?"

Jay smiled and said "We're not drunk enough for me to tell you that"

Erin laughed and looked over at the band who had been playing since she and Jay had came on deck after dinner. "Will you dance with me, Halstead?"

Jay sighed and looked over at the couples dancing and then back to Erin. "I guess I could find the time, Lindsay"

"Well, gee thanks" Erin said sitting back in her chair.

Jay stood up and reached his hand down to Erin. "I'm so very sorry, "Mrs. Halstead" Jay said giving her a wink "Would you please dance with me?"

Erin looked over at Mike Lane who was still talking to his group of admiring women and then back at Jay. "Since you asked so nicely, yes"

Erin took Jay's hand and stood up. The two made their way through the small crowd on the dance floor until the find an open spot. Jay wrapped his arms around Erin's slender frame and she wrapped hers around his neck as they started to sway to the music.

_When the rain is blowing in your face_  
><em>And the whole world is on your case<em>  
><em>I could offer you a warm embrace<em>  
><em>To make you feel my love<em>

A warm breeze had set in for the night and the stars blanketed the dark sky as the young partners danced to the song. Erin closed her eyes and she moved closer to Jay and rested her head against his chest as she breathed in his cologne.

_When the evening shadows and the stars appear_  
><em>And there is no one there to dry your tears<em>  
><em>I could hold you for a million years<em>  
><em>To make you feel my love<em>

Jay ran his hands around Erin's back as he danced with her. He looked down at the silver band that was on his left hand and he couldn't deny the sadness he felt knowing that he was going to have to take it off soon. He wished like hell it was a real band. He understood Hank Voight had his rules but, what he felt for his partner was beyond anything he'd ever felt for another woman in his entire life. It was more than just a partnership, he knew if it came down to it he'd lay his life down for Erin Lindsay without a second thought. "Erin?" he whispered.

_I know you haven't made your mind up yet_  
><em>But I would never do you wrong<em>  
><em>I've known it from the moment that we met<em>  
><em>No doubt in my mind where you belong<em>

Erin pulled her head back and looked up at Jay. She looked into his eyes and was met with his soft gaze. "Yeah?"

Jay took a shaky breath and closed his eyes. "I really don't even know how to tell you this. And God knows I probably shouldn't. The dream was about you. Most of my dreams are. I know that there's so many reasons that whatever this is between us wouldn't and couldn't work. My mind knows that...my heart, it's a real son of a bitch because it's a fixed point and it's always with you"

_I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue_  
><em>I'd go crawling down the avenue<em>  
><em>There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do<em>  
><em>To make you feel my love<em>

Erin's gaze never left Jay's as he spoke to her. It was like time was frozen. One of those moments where she knew the next few moments would forever change the path of her life. "Jay..."

_The storms are raging on the rollin' sea_  
><em>Down on the highway of regret<em>  
><em>The winds of change are blowing wild and free<em>  
><em>But you ain't seen nothing like me yet<em>

Jay's gaze held Erin's he sucked in a silent breath mentally preparing his mind and his heart for the rejection he knew he was about to receive. He couldn't blame her though. What could he possibly offer Erin? She could have such a future with Kelly Severide, he was the real stability that Erin needed, someone that he knew Hank Voight would approve of. He knew his heart would need time to recover, but he'd always stick by Erin. No matter what. "You don't have to say anything Erin"

_There's nothing that I wouldn't do_

_Go to the ends of the earth for you_

Erin shook her head and Jay took it as a note to stop talking "When I was 16, I wasn't sure where my life was going to end up. Girl with a junkie mother and a father in jail doesn't exactly spell out a bright future. When I met Hank Voight, he saw past that. He saw what he knew I could be. He saved me. When I met you, I felt like that 16 year old girl again. I didn't want to let you in, I didn't want to be that girl who was vulnerable and broken and scared but damn you, Halstead. You broke through that and I let you in. And that scares the hell out of me, because I'm so deeply in love with you"

Jay ran his thumb over Erin's cheek and wiped away the tear that had fallen from her eyes and he smiled at her before slowly leaning down and finally touching his lips to hers.

_Make you happy, make your dreams come true_  
><em>To make you feel my... love <em>

Alvin Olinsky and Antonio Dawson stood in silence as they looked down from their table on an upper deck to the couple below them.

**0000000000000000000000000000000**

**Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Be sure to drop a comment if you're feeling up to it! Don't know about ya'll but I am BEYOND excited for the crossover event next week. Hopefully Erin will be getting some "mouth to mouth" from Jay after her accident...**


	5. You Know What I Hate?

**Thank you guys so much for the reviews. It makes me feel good that you guys are enjoying this story. Writing like this is a serious break from the adult world of "Big girl jobs, boyfriends, and stress" Why I ever thought life would be so much better when I was an adult, I'll never know. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this chapter. =-)**

**0000000000000000000000000000000000**

"That's not a word" Erin protested folding her arms over her chest looking across the small table in their suite at Jay who had finished laying his tiles down and picked up the score pad to figure out his total.

"Um, yes it is, Lindsay" Jay looked up from the score pad and over at his partner who was currently narrowing her eyes at him.

"Wodge?" Erin shook her head and looked down at the various articles of clothing that were scattered across the floor. "Strip Scrabble" had seemed like a good idea at the time. A time when she actually thought she'd win at the game and not be down to the bare minimum of a tank top and a pair of underwear. "I'm gonna contest it"

"Have at it" Jay said smugly, running his hand across the small table dictionary on the table and pushing it across the table to Erin. "Just remember, you're on your last legs of clothing"

Erin looked down at the dictionary on the table and took a drink of her beer before she picked it up and started flipping through it. Her eyes skimmed the pages and words before she read

**Wodge**: _A thick piece or a large amount of something_

Erin's eyes looked up from the dictionary and her gaze met the man across from her "You were right"

Jay leaned forward and said "What? I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you. What was that?"

Erin shook her head and laughed. "I'm not going to repeat it, Halstead"

Jay sat back in his seat and took a drink of his beer before setting it back down on the table. "I'm waiting"

Erin looked down at the table and then back at Jay "Are you serious? Can't we just call it even? I'll let you drive"

Jay shook his head. The offer to drive was tempting, but not as much as the sight of his partner, the girl who had his heart, the girl he had kissed and wanted to keep kissing...naked. And not just in his dreams this time.

"Pretty sure a bet is a bet, Lindsay" Jay said as he moved in his seat trying to get comfortable. The erection that was pressing against his jeans wasn't helping matters any.

"Fine a bet's a bet" Erin stood up and slid her panties down her long, slender legs at least her tank top was long enough to leave a little to the imagination. The action caused Jay to groan and Erin smiled as she moved to sit back down.

"No!" Jay scooted his chair over to Erin and took her by the hand and pulled her to him. "Just tell me I win"

Erin let out a soft sigh and leaned forward to almost meet his lips. "You win," she whispered.

"Damn straight," he whispered back. "What do I get?"

Erin laughed softly and ran her hand up his chest softly. "I can't think of anything right off the bat. Would you settle for me?" Jay groaned again and guided her onto his lap. Erin sighed softly into the kiss and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, crushing her breasts against his chest. Jay's hands slid down her toned back and pulled up the hem of her tank top, feeling the goose bumps break out over her skin. She moaned quietly and ground herself gently onto his erection. Jay chuckled silently and thrust upward causing her to gasp.

"You like that?" he asked, thrusting up again. Erin cried out with pleasure as the evidence of her partner's arousal slammed into the swollen apex of her thighs. Erin's hands ran down his shoulder blades and around to his chest as she nibbled gently on his lower lip. Jay groaned as Erin kissed him and she felt her hands run down his bare chest to the button on his jeans.

**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK**

The banging on the door tore Erin's lips away from Jay's and she turned her head towards the door. Jay groaned and took the opportunity to move his lips to Erin's neck. Erin closed her eyes forgetting about the knocking as she felt Jay's lips on the soft skin where her shoulder and neck met and his fingers slowly moving up her back from under her tank top.

**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK**

Jay pulled his head back and looked up at Erin and quickly kissed her as he felt her move off of his lap. He watched as Erin quickly got dressed and tossed him his shirt and he pulled it on as she walked over towards the door and looked in the peep hole before opening it.

"What's up?" Antonio Dawson asked as he walked into Jay and Erin's suite.

"Oh, nothing. We were just playing a board game" Erin said. She was hoping that Dawson couldn't see the blush that she felt starting to form on her cheeks.

"What took you so long to answer the door?" Dawson asked looking over Erin's shoulder at Jay who was still seated at the table.

"We didn't hear the knocking" Erin lied her gaze dropping from Antonio's and to the ground. "Something we can help you with?"

Antonio nodded "Olinsky wants to see you before you guys go to bed. Just a final briefing on what's going down tomorrow"

Erin nodded and looked over at Jay "You ready, Halstead?"

Antonio held his hand up "Oh, I'll brief Jay. You go on down to Olinsky"

Erin looked from Jay to Antonio before slipping some flip flops on and walking out the door.

Antonio watched the door close before looking at Jay "How long, Halstead?"

Jay looked up at Antonio as he started putting the game away. "How long what?"

Antonio walked over to the table and placed his hand down on the "Scrabble" board as Jay was about to fold it up. "Nice try, Halstead. How long have you and Lindsay been together?"

Jay felt his pulse quicken as he met the gaze of his coworker and friend "We're not...we're not together"

Antonio shook his head "You want to try that again? Maybe tell me the truth this time. Tell me what Al and I saw from our deck wasn't nothing?"

Jay silently cursed and took a breath before answering "We're supposed to be playing a part, right. That's all. It wasn't anything more than acting"

Dawson looked at Jay and lifted his hand off the board so Jay could put it away. He took a seat at the table and watched as Jay put the game away. "I've not been in this career as long as I have without running across a few liars, Halstead. I don't care what you and Lindsay are doing. I'm just telling you that if Voight finds out about...whatever is going on. He's going to castrate you"

Jay knew that Antonio knew about him and Erin. There was no denying it. So he sat back down and looked at Dawson and sighed "Voight's not going to find out"

Antonio shook his head "Jay, the guy isn't blind. He's already warned you on more than one occasion. If you're worried about me saying anything, don't. It's not my place. I'm just telling you, Hank isn't going to like it. So if you think there's going to be some grand gesture on his part, I wouldn't hold your breath"

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

"And that's when we will cut them off at the gate" Olinsky explained as he looked up from his paperwork over at Erin who was sitting next to him.

Erin nodded and looked up at Alvin "No offense, but this is basically the same plan we talked about earlier. Why do you need to rehash it with me?"

Olinsky met Erin's gaze and sighed "It was more of Antonio's idea. He wanted to make sure we were all on the same page with this mission"

Erin looked down at the folder in her hands and sat it on the table. "I think I'm caught up now. Is this all?"

Olinsky watched as Erin stood up from the table and started walking towards the door. "Erin, I know"

Erin froze in her steps and kept her back to Alvin "Know what?"

She heard Olinsky exhale and her pulse instantly quickened. "About you and Halstead"

Erin turned and looked at Alvin. "What do you mean? We're partners. There's nothing going on with me and Halstead"

Alvin watched as the young girl walked towards him. He motioned for her to have a seat and watched as she sat down in front of him. "Erin, I saw you two tonight. From the balcony. Antonio saw it too"

Erin shook her head and looked down at the table. "That was nothing"

Alvin reached across the table and placed his hand on top of Erin's "Just be careful, Erin. That's all I'm asking"

Erin nodded and looked up at Alvin. "I always am"

Olinsky laughed to himself and squeezed Erin's hand "Don't worry about Hank. If this is what you want, he'll eventually come around"

Erin shook her head "I somehow doubt that"

**0000000000000000000000000000000000**

Erin left Dawson and Olinsky's and made her way down to one of the ship's many cafe's to grab a bottle of water before heading back up to her and Jay's suite. They needed to talk, that much she knew. If they were going to work, she and Jay were going to have to try to keep it under wraps...at least for awhile.

The doors to the elevator dinged open and Erin stepped in and hit the button to her floor. Just as the doors were about to close an arm reached through to stop them and they slowly opened back up to reveal the arm attached to Mike Lane.

Erin forced a smile and nodded at Lane as he stepped on board the elevator.

"What's up?" Lane said as he returned Erin's nod and stepped close to her to push the button to his floor and he stepped back. "Kinda late for you to be out all alone"

Erin held up her water bottle "I got thirsty"

Mike nodded as he looked at her "You know, I saw the fight between you and your husband"

Erin thought for a minute and thought back to this morning at her and Jay arguing at breakfast. "Oh, that was nothing. we're okay now. I'm sorry you had to see that"

Lane shrugged his shoulders and looked at Erin "You know, it's not my place but you should have more respect for him than that"

Erin raised an eyebrow at the man in front of her. 6'3 and probably 250 she guessed by looking at his build. "You're right, it's not your place"

Mike held his hands up and stepped back as if he'd been defeated "I'm sorry. I just hate to see people in love fighting"

Erin nodded but didn't say anything. She felt a wave of relief as the elevator slowed to her floor. She felt the elevator stop and the doors start to open and then everything around her went black.

Mike Lane hit the "Door Closed" button and placed the pipe he'd concealed back into his cargo pants. His grip holding up the limp body of Erin as he the doors opened to his floor and he met the gaze of his accomplices.

The two men looked down the vacant halls of the ship before quickly helping Lane into his room with Erin. Lane laid her down on the bed and ran his hand down across her cheek. "You know what I hate more than couples in love fighting?"

"What's that, boss?" Smith asked as he looked down the empty hallway before shutting the door.

Lane laughed to himself as he reached into the desk beside the bed where the unconscious body of Erin Lindsay laid.

"Cops"


	6. I Was Counting On Forever

**Thanks for the reviews. I am beyond thankful that you guys are liking this. It's kinda my baby. I don't know if I want to keep this going or end this and start a new story...like a sequel...thoughts?**

**00000000000000**

Jay rolled over on his side and looked at the clock and was met with the red numbers 2:54am. He was starting to get worried. He hadn't seen Erin since she'd went to meet with Olinsky hours ago. He sat up in bed and slipped some shoes on before walking out the door and going down the hall. He made his way down to Olinsky and Dawson's room and knocked.

After a few moments the door opened and Antonio Dawson rubbed his eyes and looked at Jay.

"Can I help you?" Dawson asked rubbing his eyes and yawning as he looked at Jay.

"Is Erin here?" Jay asked quickly. The darkened room instantly told him that any meetings or briefings were clearly over.

"No. She was gone when I came back here after out talk. What do you mean she's not with you?" Dawson asked now fully awake.

"She never came back to the room" Jay said panic starting to rise in his body.

Olinsky walked up from behind Dawson and said "It's a ship. We'll find her. There's only so many places she could be"

**00000000000000000000000**

Erin's eyes fluttered open as she tried to adjust them to the dark room. She tried to pull her arms down but was met with resistance. She looked up to see them strapped to the bed posts. She jerked her arms and winced as she felt the dull ache from the back of her head.

"You're awake...I have to say I was getting worried" Mike Lane said as he stepped closer to the bed.

"What the hell are you doing? My husband is going to be looking for me" Erin said as she started fighting the restaints around her wrists

Mike Lane laughed softly and walked over to Erin on the bed "Let's be honest. You don't have a husband. How's Chicago been Detective Lindsay?"

Erin's eyes darted from Lane's to the door and back. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not a detective"

Mike sat down on the bed and ran his hand across Erin's cheek before rearing back and hitting her across the face. "Again with the lies? You don't remember me do you Erin?"

Erin felt the hot tears spill over her lashes as the pain from the hit radiated her body. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

Mike grabbed Erin's jaw and jerked her face so she was looking at him. "You might have fucked Charlie Pugliese over but you're not going to do it to me. Remember Charlie, Erin? Your friend? He told me all about you, showed me your pictures. I knew as soon as I laid eyes on you the other day that you were the Erin from the pictures. The same white trash that you always were"

Hot tears rolled down Erin's cheeks as she looked up at Mike. She didn't remember him ever being friends with Charlie. She groaned as Mike tightened his grip on her jaw. "What do you want?"

Mike laughed and leaned down and brushed his lips against Erin's ear. "I want to watch the life leave your body"

**0000000000000000000000000000000**

Olinsky and Dawson sat in the security office trying to get a plan on how to rescue Erin. After searching the ship with no leads they were able to find the secuity footage of her going into the elevator and Lane following her in.

"She's with Lane. She's got to be. We have to go get her" Jay said pacing back and forth.

"We can't just storm in there Halstead" Olinsky explained. "We're need to suit up before we even attempt to go to his room"

"The hell we do!" Jay yelled before grabbing Olinsky's gun off the table and walking out of the security office.

Dawson stood up and went to the door "Halstead, get back here! That's an order!"

"If you're not going to get off your ass to go and get her, than I am" Jay shouted checking to make sure the gun was loaded before making his way up the stairs.

**00000000000000000000000000000**

"Boss, maybe you should reconsider this. I mean we can take the money and go" Smith said trying to reason with the man who was sharpening his knife.

"Kyle, you knew what you were getting into when you joined up with me and David. You're either in, or you'll be fish food" Lane said as he ran his fingers over the sharpened butcher knife in his hand.

"I'm just saying that this is murder. Maybe you should take that into consideration" Kyle said looking at the door to the bedroom where Erin was and over to the door where David was standing.

"Have you ever seen someone die, Kyle?" Mike asked.

"Well...no" Kyle said leaning back in his seat.

"It's a feeling like no other. You've never truly lived until you watch the life leave someone's eyes. See them take their last breath. I've only ever seen it happen. I've never actually done it yet. That changes tonight" Mike stood up from his seat and looked at Kyle and David. "You two go and do a sweep. Go find the maid's cart and grab as many towels as you can carry"

David and Kyle didn't move from their spots "NOW!" Mike shouted causing both David and Kyle to jump before they both hurried to the door and down the hall.

Jay cocked his gun as he watched David and Kyle walk down the hall and out of sight. He slowly slid from around the corner and started down the hall.

00000000000000000000000000000000

Mike reached into the bedside drawer and tore off a piece of duct tape and went to place it over Erin's mouth. He winced as he felt her teeth bite into his hand and break the skin.

"Stupid fucking bitch" Mike yelled slamming his hand across Erin's face.

Erin cried out as Mike grabbed her face and placed the tape over her mouth "I'm really going to enjoy watching you bleed to death"

Erin struggled to breathe with the duct tape over her mouth and watched as Mike made his way to the dresser. She faught against the restraints and twisted as hard as she could. It was no use. She silently prayed to God for help and then her life up to that point started playing through her mind. Everything from throwing her first punch in Kindergarten to taking care of her mom after a drug induced binge, to Hank Voight handing her his card on the street one lonely night and him taking her in as his own, to meeting Jay. Jay, the vision of his face entered her mind and it somehow brought her peace. He was everything that she never knew she wanted. And she was just sorry that she'd never get the chance to truly be with the man she'd so long seen as just a friend.

Mike walked over to the dresser and grabbed the long butcher knife he'd sharpened earlier. He looked in the mirror at Erin who was laying on the bed and he smiled as he met her gaze. "Don't worry baby, just bite down and hope that you go into shock soon"

000000000000000000000000000000000

Jay slowly inserted the key card into the door and placed his hand on the handle and slowly turned it. He started to push it open when he felt a hand grasp his shoulder. His gaze shot up to meet Alvin Olinsky who placed his hand on his lips and motioned for Jay to go in.

The two men made their way into the dark room, guns pointed as they searched for Erin. The light coming from under the door drew Jay's attention and he nudged Olinsky and gestured to the door.

Olinsky nodded and slowly moved past Jay and looked through the crack in the door. He sighed when he saw Erin laying on the bed and looked back at Jay and nodded as a sign to let him know that she was indeed with Lane.

Alvin put his hand on the door and was met with muffled screams. He instantly cocked his gun and kicked the door open and pointed his gun at Mike Lane who raised the knife over his head and slammed it down into Erin's body.

"GET ON THE GROUND" Olinsky ordered pointing his gun at Lane.

Mike Lane raised his hands over his head and drove the knife into Erin's body one last time before a gunshot rang out and Lane fell off the bed and onto the floor.

Olinsky walked around the bed and saw Lane rolling on the ground in agony. He pulled his cuffs out and cuffed Lane as Dawson and Jay ran in the room from subduing Smith and Evans.

Antonio Dawson felt his stomach heave as he watched Jay run to Erin. The amount of blood that was pouring onto the stained sheets with every single beat of the young detective's heart was astounding.

"Erin!" Jay screamed as he loosened the straps on her arms and legs and pulled the duct tape off of her face

"Jay" Erin said her partner's name falling off her lips as a whisper.

"You're fine" Jay said placing his hands over the stab wounds as best as he could. He could feel the warm liquid running between his fingers as he looked helplessly down at the girl he was in love with slowly dying in front of him

"I'm so cold" Erin whispered as she turned her head to the side to look towards the window.

"Help's on the way baby girl. Just stay with me" Jay pleaded pressing harder onto Erin's wounds and a soft cry escaped her lips.

"I'm sorry" Erin whispered as she turned her head back to Jay.

"Don't say sorry" Jay said looking down at her wounds before he turned to look at her. "Just keep your eyes on me. Just look at me. Okay? You keep those beautiful eyes on me"

"I can't…" Erin trailed off. Her skin was starting to turn a soft shade of grey. Each pulse of her heart made the blood pour out less and less.

"Just stay with me Er" Jay pleaded as the tears started to roll down his cheeks. "They're coming baby. Help's coming. You just stay with me. You're going to be just fine"

Erin tried to keep her eyes on the man who was hunched over her. She felt no pain, not anymore at least. "Jay...I..."

Jay shook his head as the tears blinding him "You're fine. You're not going anywhere, Erin. You're staying with me. I'm gonna marry you baby girl. We're going to have babies...so many babies. You just STAY WITH ME"

"I love you" Erin whispered as she lost the battle and her eyes slowly shut.

"Erin!" Jay screamed as he shook her. Her whole body was limp as he took his blood soaked hands and started chest compressions on her lifeless body. Everything seemed like it was frozen. It was like he had tunnel vision and all he could see was the face of the beautiful girl he was trying to bring back to him.

"Erin, please don't do this. Don't leave me" Jay sobbed as he continued doing CPR as the onboard medics made their way into the room. Jay couldn't hear them. He didn't feel Dawson and Olinsky pulling him off of Erin so the medics could work on her. He sank down the wall, nothing mattered now, nothing. He laid his head against the wall. Praying to God to please send Erin back to him. Praying to take her place instead. Praying that this was all a dream.

It wasn't a dream though. He looked over at the bed as the medics used the AED to shock Erin's heart to get it beating again. her limp arm with his mother's ring hung off the bed and he watched as the blood dripped from her french manicured finger and dropped to the floor.

There was no audible sound coming from the room. At least nothing Jay could hear. Only silence...peace.


	7. What Becomes of the Broken Hearted?

**Wow, what can I say? I wasn't expecting all the feedback from the last chapter. First off, Thank You! I didn't have to greatest day at work so it was nice to see the reviews. You guys really want your "Scrabble" lol. And I promise eventually it will happen. And maybe not just in a dream this time...Crossover begins tomorrow night, friends! I can't wait. I really can't. If ya'll get a chance Google "The 27 Stages of Getting Addicted to a TV show" it's an article from the site Buzzfeed and is pretty much the most honest thing I've read in a long time...and it's good for a laugh. A laugh I needed after finding out Lifetime cancelled the only other show I watch "Witches of East End" Hope you guys like the next chapter.**

**00000000000000000000000000**

Hank Voight walked through the sliding doors and into the hospital in Orlando, Florida. Not exactly the place he expected to meet the rest of his team. He spotted Antonio Dawson standing down in the main lobby looking physically and mentally exhausted.

"What the hell happened, Dawson?" Voight asked walking up to him.

"It happened so fast, Hank" Antonio explained as Voight brushed past him and down the hall of the hospital to the surgical floor.

Kim and Adam came up from the cafeteria, each one carrying a stack of coffees. Kim handed Antonio his and he nodded as a silent "Thank You"

"Did he go too insane?" Ruzek asked balancing the coffee carriers in his hands.

Antonio shook his head "No, and we all know that's unlike him. We just gotta hope that Erin pulls through this"

Kim and Adam nodded and started walking down the hall. Kim noticed that Dawson wasn't following them and she turned to look at him. "Are you coming up?"

Dawson looked at his coffee and then at Kim. "Not right now, Burgess. Thanks for the coffee though"

Kim nodded and turned back to follow Ruzek down the hall to where the rest of the team was waiting for any news on Erin.

**00000000000000000000000000**

Jay sat on the floor in the Surgical Waiting Room he hadn't even changed his blood stained clothes. He didn't care. All he cared about was if the doctors were going to be able to bring Erin back to him. He looked down at his hands that were still stained with Erin's blood and at the silver band that was still around his ring finger. He felt fresh tears burn at his eyes and slide down his cheeks as he twisted the band around his finger and he rubbed his hands together in a vain attempt to wipe the dried blood that covered his hands.

The sound of the doors opening tore Jay's gaze up from his hands and he was met with the face of Hank Voight. Hank took a quick view of the room and saw that everyone from the unit was sitting around the room. He looked across the room at Jay Halstead. He felt his stomach drop at the look of the man who was covered in the blood of the girl he thought of as his own child.

Hank Voight hated hospitals. He'd hated them ever since his wife had died and he made it a point to try to avoid them at all costs. That's what he knew his team would never understand. All of them were the best of the best, that much he knew. However, every one of them didn't understand the line between professional and personal. "It only leads to trouble" Hank thought as he took a seat in one of the few empty chairs that was in the room.

**00000000000000000000000000000000**

Seven hours had passed since Erin had went in for surgery. The medics onboard the ship were by some miracle able to shock Erin's heart into a faint rhythm. They'd called in a rescue MedVac to life flight Erin the short distance to the hospital they were at now.

Seven Hours

420 Minutes

25,200 seconds

A Lifetime

That's how long it had been since the last time Jay Halstead had seen Erin Lindsay. Seven Hours since he'd been able to hold her hand the way that he did on the flight to the hospital. And hold her hand he did. The entire flight from the ship to the hospital. The only thing that had laid some calm on him other than being able to touch her was the sound of the heart monitor and the soft "beep, beep...beep, beep" that had echoed through his ears and brought some kind of peace to his breaking heart.

"Family of Erin Lindsay?" A surgeon in blue scrubs asked from the doorway.

"That's me...us" Hank Voight said standing up from his chair and walking over to where the surgeon was standing. "How's Erin?"

The surgeon looked around at the officers who were standing around waiting to hear news on Erin. He sighed before he looked at Hank and spoke "Miss Lindsay was brought in with life threatening injuries. There were 3 knife wounds and each one was deep and caused severe internal and external bleeding. Miss Lindsay was brought in with severe blood loss. The worst I've seen in 28 years in medicine. She went into cardiac arrest on the table twice. We were able to get her back and surgically repair the damage caused by the knife wounds. Miss Lindsay is in a medically induced coma. Her body has taken a serious amount of trauma in the last 24 hours and we're hoping that the medically induced coma gives her body the chance it needs to start healing itself. The next 72 hours are critical. I can't promise you she'll pull through this. It's out of my hands and beyond medical science. It's all up to her now"

Hank Voight nodded taking the information all in. "Can I see her?"

The surgeon shook his head. "As soon as she's brought to a room in ICU then you can go back. She's still in post op right now with her vitals being monitored"

Hank nodded and looked around the room. "That's it everyone. You all should go and get some rest. I'm sure Erin would want that. She wouldn't want this fuss over her"

Dawson, Ruzek, Burgess, Roman, Atwater, Olinsky and Platt all looked around at each other before Atwater spoke for the group "We're staying"

Hank Voight looked around at his team. He didn't really expect them to leave and that's what he took the most pride in when it came to his unit. They were always there for each other through the good and through the bad. Hank Voight simply nodded and walked out of the doors of the waiting room and down the hall.

**00000000000000000000000000**

Olinsky looked at his watch and read the time, it was already 11pm. Closing in on almost 24 hours since the nightmare had begun. He took a drink of his coffee and looked out the glass doors at Jay who had been standing outside for the last hour.

Olinsky took another drink of his coffee and walked towards the glass doors and he walked through them as they slid open.

"You know, even Florida hospitals have horrible coffee" Olinsky said looking down at the cup in his hands.

Jay didn't respond. He just kept his eyes on the horizon.

"She's going to be okay, Halstead" Olinsky said. Trying to offer some peace to the young man standing next to him.

"This was my fault" Jay said his eyes not leaving the buildings he was staring at across the street.

"Halstead, it wasn't. How were you supposed to know that Lane had a connection to Erin's past? If it wasn't for you, Halstead...Erin would've bled out if you hadn't have been so quick to step in.

Jay shrugged his shoulders "If i'd have just been there sooner..."

Olinsky placed his hand on Jay's shoulder as a gesture of support. "You did everything you could've Halstead"

"I love her, Alvin" Jay whispered.

"I know you do" Olinsky said.

Jay turned his head away from Olinsky, he shook his head to rid himself of the fresh tears that were brimming at his eyes. "I can promise you this. If I ever cross Mike Lane's path again...I'll kill him. I can promise you that. I'll kill him"

**00000000000000000000000000**

A few hours later Erin was taken into a Critical Care ICU room. Her surgeon had allowed a few visitors to go back. Hank of course was going first. Voight waited to be buzzed into the ICU area of the hospital. As soon as the doors opened he was swept back to memories of losing his soulmate. His wife.

Voight shook his head and walked down the hall. He glanced into each room as he made his way down to Erin's. Each room was filled with the same thing. A person in the bed and the person who loved them most asleep beside them.

Voight's steps slowed as he came to Erin's room. He took an unsteady breath and walked into the room.

Erin laid in silence. Sleeping. The tube coming out of her mouth was attached to the ventilator that was currently pumping life into the brunette beauty. She had various lines of tubing coming out of her: IV's, a PIC line, drain tubes form her surgery, a catheter and of course the vent that was keeping her alive.

Hank squeezed his eyes shut, in some effort that he'd wake up as if he were in a dream. He opened them and took the few steps to the chair next to Erin's bed and he took a seat.

"Hey kid, I don't even know what to say to you. I just know the Erin that I know is a fighter. She always has been. But I also know the vulnerable Erin. The one that only I see. The one who is even more beautiful than the fighter. I also know how hard it can be to be so strong all of the time. If anyone knows that. I do...You're as much my kid as Justin is. I don't tell you a lot but I'm so damn proud of you. I meant it when I said that you're about the best thing that's ever happened to me. But, I also want you to know..."

Hank's voice trailed off as he looked up at the machines that were monitoring Erin's vital signs. the sound of the blood pressure machine filled the room with a soft hum as it started up to take a reading.

Voight ran his hand down Erin's arm and took a hold of her hand "It's okay,' he said. 'If you want to go. Everyone wants you to stay. I want you to stay more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.' His voice cracks with emotion. So he stopped and took a shaky breath . 'But that's what I want and I could see why it might not be what you want. So I just wanted to tell you that I understand if you go. It's okay if you have to leave us. It's okay if you want to stop fighting. I won't be mad. I don't want you to ever worry that you weren't enough. You've always been more than enough, kid. I promise you that. Just know how much I love you...how proud..."

Voight wiped a tear off his cheek and held tight to Erin's hand "Always so proud"

**00000000000000000000000000**

Voight walked the few steps into the room and sat down on the pew and looked around the room. The chapel was completely empty. He looked down at the carpet before looking up at the stained glass window of a cross.

"I know that you and I haven't been on speaking terms since I lost my wife. That was a real low blow you sent me when you took her. I swore I'd never step another foot in a church. I realize I am one of the last people who should be asking you for something...Just don't take Erin. Not yet. She's still a kid. She's my kid. And maybe in some divine intervention you crossed our paths so that I'd have her when I lost my wife. But you can't take her. You can't take her and have my wife too. Just give me a break this one time...I'm not ready to lose her"

Hank Voight ran his hands over his pants before he stood up and walked out of the chapel and down the hall.

**00000000000000000000000000**

Jay stood outside of Erin's ICU room. He looked in the doorway at the dark room and at his partner laying in the hospital bed. There were tubes coming in and out of her body and hooked to various machines. Each one responsible for keeping the girl he was so hopelessly in love with alive. He walked the short distance to her bed and picked up her hand and held it. Careful of the IV line that was leaving her hand.

"Erin, I don't even know what to say. I've never bees so scared in my entire life. I am so mad. Not at you. but with myself. I made an oath to protect you and I couldn't even live up to it. I promise you that if you stay with me that I'll spend the rest of my life taking care of you. I will protect you and if I have to I'll kill the men who did this to you. I just need you to do what you're so good at and fight. You fight like you do with everything else in your life. You can't go anywhere. We've got a life we have to share together, "Scrabble" to play...babies to make. You can't leave me here alone. I can't do it without you, Erin. Please fight...please"

Jay sat down in the chair next to Erin's bed and kept ahold of her hand. "I'm so sorry Erin...I'm so sorry"

And that was it. He let go of all of the tears that he'd been holding back. He laid his head on his and Erin's clasped hands and he cried. Cried for the guilt he felt for not saving Erin. cried for taking down Smith and Evans instead of going after Lane like he should have, and he cried for the girl who was hooked up to the machines that were keeping her alive. He cried until he couldn't cry anymore. Until he finally gave into exhaustion and fell asleep. His head on Erin's bed. His hand holding onto hers.

What he was oblivious to was the gaze of Hank Voight in the doorway.

**00000000000000000000000000000000000**


	8. Vendetta

**Thanks so much for the reviews! Guess what day it is, Guess what day it is? It's CROSSOVER DAY...and Veterans' Day. Special thank you to the Veterans who have sacrificed so much so that people like me have the freedom and can watch the "Chicago PD" "Chicago Fire" and "SVU" Crossover Event and write this story. So excited for tonight. I don't really want to see Severide on my TV with Erin, but, you take the good with the bad. I'm just kidding I know there's people who do ship Erin and Kelly. Who knows, maybe he'll show up in this story...**

**00000000000000000000000**

The next morning Hank Voight walked through the doors of the ICU and down the hallway to Erin's room. He wanted to see her before the rest of the team showed up to visit. He turned the corner and stopped in his tracks. There in a chair next to Erin's bed was Jay. His head was leaned back against the headrest, his mouth slightly open as he slept.

Voight followed the path of Jay's arm and saw his fingers intertwined with Erin's laying on the bed. He shook his head as he watched the scene in front of him. Jay clearly hadn't went back to the hotel last night and from the look of the scrub top he had on some poor nurse had clearly taken pity on the man and had given him one so that he wouldn't be walking around the hospital covered in blood.

Hank knew he needed to talk to Jay about what he'd heard last night. He knew this wasn't the time. He didn't want in office romance in his district. That much he knew. But when it came to Erin, he knew two things.

1) She was still the same smart ass, quick tongued, pain in the ass that she'd been since she was 16.

2) She valued his opinion, but she'd always fight for the people she loved.

He knew Erin sacrificed a lot in her life, the very life that was hanging in the balance as he stood in the doorway of her room. He had seen in house romances play out and they never ended well. It's one of the reasons he didn't want to bring Kim up to intelligence. He knew that she and Ruzek were together and bringing Kim up would throw Ruzek off his job.

But, Erin was more than just one of his detectives, she was his kid. Not by blood, but blood doesn't always make a family. And as his kid, all he wanted was for her to be happy. Happy and healthy, and looking at the sight before him. He knew that for whatever reason Jay Halstead made his girl happy.

"God help us all" Hank thought as he walked into Erin's room and over to the chair where Jay was sleeping. He reached down and shook Jay's shoulder.

"Halstead" Voight said and shook his shoulder again.

Jay's eyes slowly opened as he took in his surroundings. He turned his head to look at Hank Voight who was standing next to him. "What time is it?"

Voight looked down at his watch and back at Jay "It's 8 in the morning"

Jay let go of Erin's hand and stretched in his chair before bringing his hands down to rub his eyes. He was exhausted. Physically, emotionally, mentally. Every version of the word. His body was basically on auto pilot. That didn't matter though. He wasn't going to go anywhere. Not until he saw those beautiful eyes of Erin Lindsay open up and look at him.

"I'm going to go get some coffee" Jay said standing from his seat. He winced as he felt the muscles in his neck and back ache from spending all night in a wooden chair.

"Halstead, go to the hotel and get some sleep" Hank said moving to take the seat that Jay had just vacated.

"I'm fine" Jay said. He wasn't sure if he was trying to convince Hank or himself.

"Halstead. Go. Get. Some. Sleep" Voight repeated. "You're not going to help Erin any if you get sick and bring it in here to her"

Jay shook his head "I'm not leaving her"

Hank took a quick glance at Erin before he stood up. "I'm giving you a direct order, Halstead"

Jay shook his head and stepped towards the man in front of him. "And I'm telling you. I'm. Not. Leaving"

Hank Voight looked at the man in front of him. If they'd have been anywhere else, he would've laid him out on the ground for stepping to him the way he just did. "You need to walk away, son"

Jay stepped back and looked over at Erin. "I'm staying. She's my responsibility"

Hank's head shot back to Jay "Your what?"

Jay said "She's my responsibility"

Hank exhaled before he looked over at Jay. His voice gruff and low as he spoke "She's nobody's responsibility. If all she is to you is some obligation, Halstead. Then you need to leave. Not the hospital...but leave here. You need to go back to Chicago"

Jay raised an eyebrow at Hank "I don't mean that she's an obligation, Voight. I mean that I owe it to her to be here"

"You don't owe her anything, Jay" Hank shot.

"You never understand anything" Jay said under his breath.

"Understand? You want to talk about understanding, Halstead? I understand that if you'd have done your job then Erin wouldn't be laying in this bed right now. If you'd have not let her go off alone, she wouldn't have been attacked, and if YOU wouldn't have let 3 hours go by before you decided to go look for her than she wouldn't have been cut open like some wild animal"

"THIS IS NOT MY FAULT" Jay had finally had enough. He wasn't going to sit and let Hank Voight put him down for this. He already felt guilty enough.

"IT WAS YOUR JOB TO PROTECT HER. YOU LET HER DOWN. YOU LET ME DOWN. YOU FUCKED UP ON THE ONE DAMN THING YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING. YOU HAD ONE JOB HALSTEAD ONE JOB" Voight raised his voice right back to the young man in front of him.

"DO YOU NOT THINK THAT I DON'T BLAME MYSELF ENOUGH FOR THIS?" Jay yelled. "DO YOU NOT THINK THAT I WISH EVERY SECOND THAT IT WAS ME IN THAT BED AND NOT HER? I FUCKED UP, I SHOULD'VE WENT WITH HER. BUT DON'T PUT THIS ON ME. IF I HADN'T FOUND HER SHE'D BE IN A BODY BAG RIGHT NOW...She'd be dead, Voight...She'd be dead"

"Is there a problem in here?"

Jay and Hank turned their heads to look at the woman in scrubs standing in the doorway.

"No. There's no problem" Jay said

"I'd like to remind you that this is an Intensive Care Unit. The people in here are very sick. I don't think this is the place to be having your family feud" The ICU nurse walked past Jay and Hank and looked at the machines checking Erin's vitals. "If it happens again, you'll both be asked to leave"

Jay and Hank watched as the nurse made a note on Erin's chart before leaving.

"I'm going to go get a coffee. I'll be back" Jay said before turning around and walking to the door.

"You say you love her? Look where loving her has put her" Hank said softly looking at Erin who was still in her coma.

Jay exhaled before turning to look at Hank "You're just mad. You're mad because Erin made a decision about her life without asking what you thought. I'm going to be in Erin's life. I am going to marry her. We're going to have a family. If you don't like it. That's your problem. Fire me if you want. I don't care. But, you're not going to keep us apart. I love her, and one way or another you're going to learn to have to accept it"

**00000000000000000000000000**

Jay and Hank had spent the rest of the day in silence. Neither one of them spoke. They had both said what they needed to say and nothing else needed to be shared.

Jay flipped through his phone looking at the score of the White Sox game. Anything to try to take his mind off of the events of the last few couple days.

Hank Voight sat on the other side of Erin's bed. He was flipping channels of the TV that was mounted to the wall. He shook his head as he flipped through the channels before landing on the Investigation Discovery Channel and sat back in his chair as he watched a show about a serial killer.

The sound of the door to Erin's room opening turned Jay and Hank's attention over to the person walking in. Trudy Platt walked into the room a somber look on her face.

"Platt" Voight nodded at the woman standing in front of the door.

"How...how's she doing?" Trudy asked looking at Erin who was laying in the bed.

"About the same" Jay said looking up from his phone.

"She's tough though. She's hanging in there" Hank added.

Trudy nodded and looked around the room. "Um. I don't know if you heard. But...Mike Lane made his bond"

"What?" Voight asked.

"He made his bond. The attack on Erin happened in costal waters off of the Mexican boarder. The Mexican authorities had nothing else to hold him on. So he's currently on a flight back to Orlando International Airport" Trudy explained

"What about assult on an officer, attempted murder?" Voight asked.

"They could only hold him on the money laundering charge. He made the bond and he's on his flight home" Trudy explained.

"When does his flight land?" Jay asked looking at Erin's sleeping form and back at Trudy.

"Jay...I...I don't think..." Trudy started

"What time, Platt?" Jay asked standing up from his chair.

"He's expected to land within the hour" Trudy said looking down at the floor.

Jay nodded and grabbed his coat and walked out the door, out of the ICU and out of the hospital. He walked past Kim and Adam coming back from having dinner and brushed past them without speaking.

"Where you going, Halstead?" Ruzek asked watching Jay walk past him and into the night.

"Maybe you should go check on him" Kim said dropping her hand from Adam's and looking up at him.

Ruzek nodded and leaned down and kissed Burgess on the lips "I'll be back"

Kim watched as Adam took off jogging after Jay and she watched until the two men disappeared into the parking garage before she turned and walked into the hospital.

**000000000000000000000000000000000**

"What exactly are we waiting on?" Adam asked from the passenger seat of the SUV that was currently parked outside of the Orlando International Airport.

"Nothing" Jay said reaching into the glove box to pull out the gun that was hidden inside.

"Jay. What are you doing?" Adam asked. Watching the man in the driver's seat take the safety off of the hand gun and make sure it was loaded.

"If you've got to ask questions Ruzek, maybe you should leave" Jay said not taking his eyes off of the doors of the airport.

"I'm sorry. I'm just wondering what's so important that it's taking us away from the hospital"

Ruzek saw Jay's entire body tense as he followed his gaze to the man that was walking out of the airport.

"Shit" was all Ruzek was able to say before the driver side door opened and Jay Halstead stepped out and made his way across the street.

Ruzek hurried out of the car and after Jay who was following Mike Lane down the sidewalk and towards a parking garage that was on the side of the airport.

"Are you fucking crazy?" Ruzek asked as he walked after Jay.

"No" Jay kept walking. His entire body tense and his eyes dark as he kept his eyes on Mike Lane.

"You don't want to do this, Jay" Ruzek said trying to reason with the man.

"You don't know what I want" Jay spat he looked over at Adam and Adam stepped back. The gaze he was met with was not that of his "Best Good Friend" Jay Halstead. This was the gaze of someone who was out to get even. Out for revenge.

"Give me the gun, Halstead" Ruzek said reaching for Jay's shoulder.

"Fuck off" Jay said shoving Ruzek with such force that he stumbled off the curb and into a group of travelers.

"Sorry" Adam offered to the people he'd been shoved into and he looked up scanning his surroundings and felt his heart race when he realized that he could no longer see Jay.

All he heard was a gun shot ring out into the night.


	9. Dark End of the Street

**Thanks for the reviews! So, how did you guys like the first night of the Crossover? I liked it, but I'm not the biggest "Chicago Fire" fan so I kept waiting for Erin and Voight to show up. I think that tonight is going to be a lot better. Plus, I missed seeing Jay last night. I hope we get some Linstead action...I feel like I need some ointment for this slow burn that I keep getting from them.**

**00000000000000000000**

Jay took off running after Mike Lane after the bullet that Lane fired at him, missed him and shattered the window of the car next to him.

Jay lunged at Lane, his eyes ablaze with something resembling unadulterated hatred. The two men fell to the ground with Lane landing flat on his back, his head slamming on the cement sidewalk.

"What the hell?" Ruzek yelled as he ran up to the scene. He jumped forward to try to pull Jay off Lane.

Jay squeezed his fingers around Lane's throat, his hands like an iron vise on his windpipe. Lane frantically grasped Jay's wrists as he attempted to free his neck from Jay's crushing grasp, all the while gasping for air. Lane's eyes were wide and full of pure fear as he looked up into Jay's face. Jay's eyes were narrow slits and were red with rage.

"You son of a bitch!" Jay growled through clenched teeth. "I'm going to kill you for what you did to her."

Ruzek grabbed onto Jay's right arm and tried to wrench it away from Lane.

"Jay, what the hell. You're going to kill him" Ruzek pleaded and grasped Jay's other arm, pulling on it. Jay's arm flew back, knocking Ruzek off balance and he landed on his butt, sliding into a parked corner of a mirror slammed into his back and he grunted in pain as he got up and charged back over to the fight.

Jay wrenched his arm away from Ruzek and glared up at his friend. His eyes were smoldering and Ruzek stepped back in fear momentarily. Lane gasped for air beneath and managed to swing his fist upward, as Jay was distracted, and slam Jay in his nose. Jay's body jerked backwards and blood gushed from his nose as he shook his head, momentarily stunned. Ruzek grabbed Jay before he was able to lunge back at Lane. Then pulled him to his feet, and attempted to restrain him.

"Let me go!" Jay demanded as Lane stood up.

"Jay, are you out of your mind? This isn't going to save Erin" Ruzek tried to convince Jay to calm down.

"Erin's nothing but a white trash whore. I wish I'd gutted her like a fish. I hope the bitch dies a slow and painful death" Mike Lane spoke. The words falling off of his lips like venom.

Jay lunged toward Lane again, his fist slamming into Lane's face. Lane fell backward again and Jay jumped on top of him and began to pummel him, hitting him anywhere he could. Tears of anger and pain blurred his eyes as he beat him senseless. Ruzek attempted to pull Jay off Lane again, but Jay just shook him away. Ruzek grabbed Jay around the neck and tried to restrain him that way but Jay jerked forward and Ruzek ended up flipping over his back and landing on the sidewalk in front of them. A searing pain shot through Ruzek's shoulder as he landed with a thump.

Jay grabbed Lane by the neck again and slammed his head forcefully against the cement and Lane went limp; his eyes fluttering closed. Jay looked down at Lane's motionless body and he suddenly realized what he had done. For a moment it was as if he stepped out of his own body and was watching the scene before him. Blood seeped from beneath Lane's head coloring the ground crimson and Jay slumped backward, burying his face in his hands.

My God, what had he done?

Suddenly Jay was jerked up off the ground and came face to face with Hank Voight.. Voight looked at him, shocked, then down at Lane, then back at Jay again. Jay held his gaze, his eyes cold and hard. Antonio Dawson ran up to the scene and shuddered at what he saw and then he reached for his phone to call an ambulance.

Hank Voight held his hand up as a gesture to stop Dawson. "Just wait. We need a plan"

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Trudy Platt sat next to Erin's bed and looked at her. She'd always had a soft spot for Erin. Mostly because she had a younger sister who resembled Erin. A younger sister who was tragically killed. A sister who inspired Trudy Platt to become a cop. To catch men like Mike Lane who were cold blooded and complete and total wastes of space.

Trudy looked around Erin's room and into the bedside table. She pulled the drawer open and pulled out a small toothed comb and stood up.

"No need to let your hair be a mess. I mean, I'm pretty sure that you're the only person who can make a coma look stylish" Trudy picked up a section of Erin's hair and started to run the comb through it.

She finished one section and picked up another and started to comb it as she looked at the clock. It was closing in on an two hours since Voight had asked Trudy to stay with Erin before he followed Halstead down the hall.

"I don't know how you do it, Erin. You've got two men who adore you. I can't even get one. I have as much a cheery disposition as the next person" Trudy picked another section of Erin's hair up and started to run the comb not noticing Erin's fingers starting to twitch.

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Ruzek shook his head, trying to get the images to go away as Dawson approached him, a stern professional look masking the turmoil certainly beneath it.

"Ruzek, you should have the EMT take a look at that shoulder."

"It's fine. Just bruised I think."

"Still you should have someone look at it." Dawson paused for a moment. "You know you're going to have to give a statement"

Ruzek turned and looked behind him. Next to the second ambulance stood Jay, his shoulders slumped. The EMT had cleaned his face of the blood, but it was obvious that his nose was broken, the faint signs of bruising was starting to appear beneath his eyes. The EMT was tending to his bloody hand that had gotten scraped during the fight. Jay had a vacant, almost hollow look on his face. He showed no emotion and that frightened Ruzek more than anything else he witnessed.

Antonio Dawson looked over at Jay and sighed "They have to take him into custody for questioning"

"I know" Ruzek sighed rubbing his shoulder "I have never seen Jay that enraged. It was like he was one of those people who have super human strength, you know when they're in danger or someone else is in danger and they're trying to help them. It was like he was unstoppable for a minute. I really thought he was going to kill him"

Antonio shook his head as he looked away from Jay. "Can you really blame him?"

Ruzek shook his head and looked over to Jay "No. But if it had been me, I'd have put a bullet in the guys head"

Hank Voight walked away from where he'd been giving his statement. "Listen. and listen well. Mike Lane attacked Jay. This was self defense. You keep your mouth shut. Don't mention Erin, don't mention the hospital. As far as the police are concerened, Mike Lane attacked you and Halstead. Unprovoked. Have I made myself clear, Ruzek?"

Adam nodded and rubbed his shoulder "What about the security tapes? It'll be on camera"

Voight looked over at Jay who was talking to the police. "I've already taken care of it"

Antonio Dawson looked at Voight and then at Ruzek "What did you do?"

Hank Voight shrugged his shoulders "I took care of it"

Ruzek and Dawson looked at each other and then at Voight.

"Get your shoulder looked at Ruzek" Voight said "Remember, Lane attacked you. Don't forget it. Am I clear?"

Ruzek nodded "I don't need to get it looked at. It's fine"

Voight watched as the ambulance with Mike Lane in it drove off. "I've got to go sort this out with Halstead. After tonight, this is forgotten. I don't want to hear anybody speak a word of this ever again"

Adam and Dawson watched as Voight walked away from them and over to the patrol car that Jay Halstead was being put into.

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Jay had his head in his hands while he waited for the officers to come back in and question him. His head was throbbing and he could feel his eyes starting to black from the broken nose he'd aquired in his fight with Lane. He heard the door open and he looked up to see Hank Voight walk in.

Hank walked over to the table and pulled the chair across from Jay out and he sat down.

"Why'd you do it?" Jay asked. "Why'd you take up for me?"

Voight looked at Jay and then at the window. "I didn't do it for you, Halstead"

Jay looked down at the table and then at Voight. "What do you want from me? What do I have to do?"

Voight looked at the man across from his and sighed "I'm going to tell you this once and only once Halstead. If you're looking for me to roll out the red carpet for you and Erin, you need to keep dreaming. But what you did tonight, I respect you for it. This job makes it hard to not cross the line. You don't have to worry about the charges. I took care of it"

Jay looked at the man across from him. "What about Lane, He's not going to let it go"

Voight held his hand up to stop Jay from saying too much to watchful eyes that may be behind the two way mirror.

"Lane's not going to be a problem. I'll take care of it" Voight assured. "You leave here. You go to the hospital and you stay with Erin. I'll be back in the morning"

And with that, Hank Voight stood up and walked out the door, and out of the jail. He made it to his car. He got in and drove. He made it to his destination a little after 3 am. He pulled down an old gravel road over taken by weeds and endless swamp lands and overgrown trees.

Voight pulled his car up next to a black van with no plates and he got out. He walked a short distance until he saw two men dressed in all black standing next to something wrapped in a tarp.

"Is that him?" Voight asked walking up to the men in black. Ski masks and gloves covering their faces and hands as they made sure they didn't leave prints.

"It's him" One of the men bent down and pulled the tarp back, revealing the drugged and unconscious face of Mike Lane.

"You two should leave. It's better that way" Voight said as the men dressed in black looked at him.

"You're really going to do this?" One of the men asked softly.

"You fuck with my family, you fuck with me" Voight said. "Go. I'll meet you later"

The two men looked at each other and at Voight before they both walked the short distance to the van and got in and left. Leaving Hank Voight to do what he saw fit with Mike Lane.

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Trudy Platt yawned as she watched the Game Show Network. "I should go on "Baggage" I could find me a man that way"

The sound of the door opening made Trudy tear her eyes from the TV. She gasped when she saw Jay walking in. Surgical tape over his nose and both his eyes were framed with purple and black bruising. She looked down and saw his hand bandaged up and brought her hand up to her mouth.

"What the hell did you do?" She asked

"Nothing that I wouldn't do again" Jay said as he walked over to Erin's sleeping form and bent over to kiss her forehead.

Erin's eyes fluttered as Jay pulled back and looked down at her.

"Erin?" He asked reaching down to run his hand across her cheek. "Can you hear me?"

Jay caressed Erin's cheek one last time just as her eyes slowly opened.

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	10. You Won't Find This

**As always, thank you for the reviews. I am glad that you guys like this story. I know that I keep saying that, but it means a lot. Can we just talk about how AMAZING that the SVU and PD crossover was? Oh. My. God. It was beyond good. Sophia Bush is amazing. That girl needs an Emmy nod for her work on that show. If I had any complaint, it's the same for every episode...I need more Linstead. I was DYING for a Jay and Erin hospital scene. I'm thinking that the next episode might be a little more "Linstead" filled.**

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Erin's brows narrowed as her eyes focused on Jay. The first thing she noticed was his black eyes. The second was the tube that was taped to her mouth and going down her throat. She turned her head and raised her hand up to her mouth. Only to have Jay grab her hand and bring it back down to the bed.

"Erin, baby, relax. Don't fight the tubing. You're ok" Jay assured keeping ahold of her hand and looking down at Erin.

Erin twisted in the bed and reached her other hand up to her mouth. She felt like she couldn't breathe. She just needed the tube out of her throat. Was that too much to ask?

"Erin, stop" Jay said grabbing ahold of her other arm and holding her hands down on the bed.

"I'll go get someone" Trudy Platt said as she walked out of the room.

Erin twisted against Jay. Tears welling in her eyes and rolling down her cheeks, as she tried to get free from him.

Jay didn't think his heart could break any more than it had, but he was wrong. The sight of Erin fighting the tube down her throat when she was awake was just as hard as her laying there comatose. "Baby just relax. You're ok"

The leads connected to Erin's chest that monitored her heart rate started going off. Signaling the elevated heart rate of Erin as she fought to get free of Jay.

Erin looked over Jay's shoulder at a doctor coming around to her bedside with a nurse following close behind.

"Miss Lindsay, just relax. You're in the ICU at Florida Hospital in Orlando. You were hurt. I'm going to give you a little something to help you relax and then we will look at your vitals to see if you're ready for us to remove the tube" The doctor explained.

He turned to the nurse behind him and Erin, Jay and Platt watched as he injected the medicine into Erin's IV. The rapid beeping slowed to a more steady beep and Jay felt Erin start to relax under his arms.

Erin's gaze looked from the doctor and then over at Jay who was looking down at her. Jay let loose of his grip on Erin's arms and he took a seat next to Erin's bed. Her gaze following him the entire time.

"I'll go let everyone know that she's awake" Platt said feeling the pressing need to give Jay some privacy with Erin. At least a few minutes alone before everyone started coming in and out of the room.

Jay looked over his shoulder at Platt and nodded "Thanks, Platt. For everything"

Trudy nodded and looked at Erin and Jay one last time before she exited Erin's room and went down the hall.

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Jay looked back at Erin as Trudy left and he stood up and knelt over Erin and he leaned down and kissed her on the forehead before he sat back down.

"God...Erin, I've never been so scared in my entire life. Not even when I was deployed. Seeing you fade away right in front of me was the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I thought you were de..." Jay couldn't even finish the word. He looked down at his shoes and felt them get blurry as hot tears spilled out of his eyes and down his cheeks.

Erin raised her hand up off of the bed and reached over to touch Jay's cheek. He looked up at her and exhaled, his breath shaking and he took ahold of the hand that Erin hand on his cheek and intertwined their fingers and kissed her hand. His eyes locked with Erin's and he used his thumb to caress the top of her hand.

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Hank Voight pulled into his hotel just as the sun was starting to come up. He looked at the text message on his phone and rubbed his tired eyes.

AT THE POOL...MEET US WHEN IT'S DONE

Hank got out of the car and shut the door. He walked around the back of the hotel and to the pool, opened the gate and went over to the table where the two men who had been with him earlier in the night were sitting.

"It's done" Hank said taking a seat at the table.

"Is anyone ever going to find him?" Alvin Olinsky asked looking at Voight who was opened the beer that was sitting on the table.

"There's nothing left to find" Voight said simply. Not looking up from his beer.

"Did he put up a fight?" Antonio Dawson asked sitting back in his seat. The events of last night and the last few days starting to wear him down.

"Nope" Voight said simply "But It's over now"

Dawson and Olinsky looked at each other and nodded before Dawson spoke "Nobody finds out right, Voight?"

"We did the world a favor last night. As far as I'm concerned Mike Lane never existed" Voight said pushing his chair out and standing up. "You should get some rest. It was a long night"

Olinsky and Dawson watched Voight leave and looked at each other.

"We did the right thing, right?" Dawson asked "I mean we did this for Erin"

Olinsky nodded "You do what you have to for the people you love. Lane will never hurt another person. So, yes. We did the right thing"

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"Erin when I tell you, you take a deep breath okay?" the ICU nurse explained as she removed the tape from the side of Erin's face and grasped the vent tube. "You ready?"

Erin tightened her grip on Jay's hand and nodded her head as she prepared herself for the tube removal.

"Ok, deep breath, 1...2...3" The nurse said as Erin took a deep breath and the nurse pulled the tube up her throat and out of her mouth.

Erin coughed and gagged as the long tube was removed from her body. The ICU nurse handed her a cup of water with a straw so she could take a drink. Erin welcomed to cold liquid going down her throat and she laid her head back against the pillows.

"Feel better?" The nurse asked removing her gloves and taking the small empty cup from Erin.

Erin nodded and looked over at Jay. Her hand still holding onto his. She met his gaze and he smiled at her and brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it. "You okay?"

Erin nodded and swallowed her voice coming out in a low raspy whisper "Thirsty"

Jay looked up at the nurse who was writing on Erin's chart. "Can she have somthing to drink"

Erin's nurse nodded "Of course. Let me go and get her some ice water"

"Thank You" Jay said watching at the middle aged woman grabbed the plastic cup off of the bedside table and left the room.

"How you feeling, baby?" Jay asked moving from his place in the chair to sit on the side of Erin's bed. All the while still holding her hand.

"I'm OK" Erin whispered closing her eyes for a few moments before opening them back up to look at Jay. "Tired"

Jay nodded "We're going to get you all better. I promise you that"

Erin nodded and turned her head as the ICU nurse walked back in with Erin's water. She walked over and adjusted the straw and handed the cup to Erin. "Easy sips, Erin"

Erin nodded and took ahold of the cup with her left hand. The ice cold water going down her throat felt like Heaven and she had to restrain herself from chugging it down. Erin handed the cup back to the nurse and laid back against the pillows.

"Are you in any pain? Feeling dizzy? Are you hungry?" The nurse asked Erin.

Erin shook her head No and looked up at the nurse. "Ok, well if you need anything just hit your call button. I'll be here until 7pm"

Jay and Erin both nodded and they watched as the nurse left. Erin turned her head and looked at Jay and squeezed his hand.

Jay reached down and brushed Erin's hair across her forehead. "I'm dying to kiss you"

Erin smiled and let go of Jay's hand. "I need to brush my teeth"

Jay smiled and stood up. "I can take care of that for you"

Erin watched as Jay grabbed the hospital supplied tooth brush and tooth paste and went to get a cup from the bathroom and he helped Erin brush her teeth. When she was done he cleaned up and put everything away and came back to her bed and sat down. "Are you good to go now?

Erin smiled and nodded as Jay leaned down careful to not put any weight on her and he nuzzled her nose against his before softly pressing his lips down onto hers.

Erin reached her hand up and rested it on Jay's cheek as they kissed. After a few seconds, Jay reluctently pulled back and gave her another quick kiss before pulling back.

"I love you" Erin whispered. Her voice still low from being intibated.

Jay smiled down at her "I love you too, baby"

Erin ran her hand across Jay's cheek and up across his nose "What happened?"

Jay shrugged his shoulders "Just a little broken nose. Nothing for you to worry about"

Erin nodded as her eyes started to get heavy. "I'm sorry. I'm...so...tired"

Jay's smile slowly fell and he reached down to run a hand across Erin's forehead. "You sleep. We've got the rest of our lives to talk"

A small smile formed on Erin's lips as she sank into a much needed slumber.

Jay moved from sitting on Erin's bed to the chair next to her bed. He looked at the door as Voight walked in.

"How's she doing?" Voight asked. He hated himself for missing her waking up and not being here to see her. But, what he did was for Erin.

"She's tired. But she's doing really great. God, you don't know what it was like to watch her open her eyes. It's pretty powerful when you get your biggest wish in one moment" Jay said looking over at Erin before looking at Hank.

"You should go get some sleep. I'd like to be here when she wakes up" Voight said

Jay looked at Voight and exhaled. "I..."

"Halstead, just do this one thing" Voight asked.

Jay nodded and stood up from his seat. He leaned over and kissed Erin on the cheek and he smiled as he watched her stir in her sleep. He walked over to the door before stopping and turning to look at Hank Voight.

"Lane?" Jay simply asked.

"It's done" Voight said keeping his eyes on Erin.

Jay nodded and stepped to the door.

"Halstead" Voight called.

Jay stepped back and looked at his boss. "Yeah?"

Voight looked away from Erin and turned his gaze to Jay. "If you ever hurt Erin, I mean for anything. If I see her shed a single tear over you, I'll make sure that even dental records won't identify you"

"Kind of early with the threats, boss" Jay said

"It's not a threat. It's a promise" Hank assured.

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	11. Wait and See

**Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter. I time jumped just a little...nothing too drastic. Hope that you guys like it...**

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Erin exhaled as she woke from her nap. She opened her eyes and turned her head expecting to see Jay, instead she was met with the gaze of Hank Voight.

"Hey" Erin said softly. Rubbing her eyes as she looked at him.

"How are you feeling?" Voight asked standing up from his chair and moving to sit on the edge of Erin's bed.

"I'm ok. I'd like to go home" Erin said looking up at Voight.

Hank nodded and looked down at her "Well, first things first"

Hank leaned down over Erin and gently pulled her into his arms as he embraced her. "You scared the hell out of me, kid" he whispered in her ear.

Erin's brow narrowed as she felt Hank Voight hug her. "I'm ok"

Voight nodded and pulled back and gently removed his arms from around Erin. "Well, I can tell you now that you're on leave. I don't want you coming back to the precinct until you're ready"

"I'm fine. I don't need time off" Erin assured as she placed her hands down on the hospital bed and tried pushing herself up.

She was met by instant pain radiating over her entire body. She winced and tried to force a smile as she tried to adjust her position in the bed.

"Lindsay, you're taking time off. It's not a suggestion" Hank insisted. "And let me help you"

He stood up and used the remote to adjust Erin's bed to tilt up more and he wrapped his arm around her so she could use him as leverage to adjust herself.

Erin sighed thankfully that she was able to find some form of a comfortable spot in her hospital bed. "Thanks"

Voight nodded and he moved to the chair beside her head.

"How pissed are you that we screwed up the job?" Erin was almost afraid of the answer she was about to receive.

"You didn't screw up. If anyone screwed up, it was Halstead for not working harder to protect you" Voight folded his arms over him and leaned back in his chair.

Erin shook her head. "It wasn't Jay's fault. I wasn't going to make him go down and get a water with me. I can do that alone"

"And look where it got you, Erin. This is what I'm talking about when I said I didn't want Halstead throwing pebbles at your window. This is the kind of stuff that happens when you get distracted" Voight kept his voice low but stern as he spoke to Erin.

"This wasn't anybody's fault. If you were so worried about me going back to the room alone, then why aren't you mad at Olinsky for not walking me back to my room?" Erin shook her head and looked away from Voight.

"Because, Halstead is your partner. It's his job to protect you" Voight rubbed his tired eyes and looked at Erin.

"It was an accident. I'm fine" Erin assured

"You're not fine, Erin. Do you know what it was like coming in and seeing your partner covered in blood and coming in here and seeing you hooked up to machines? No. You don't. So don't sit there and say that you're fine. Don't play the "I'm fine" card that you've been playing since you were a kid" Voight shook his head and took a breath to keep his temper in check.

"What happened to Lane?" Erin asked trying to change the subject off of Jay.

"He's dead" Voight said simply.

"How?" Erin asked

"He crossed the wrong person when he was in police custody" Voight rubbed the back of his neck. Erin didn't need to know the details of what happened. All that mattered was that she got better.

"Is that how Jay's nose got broken?" Erin asked

"No. I punched him" Voight said

"What?" Erin shook her head and covered her face with her IV free hand. "Why?"

"Because I know" Voight said simply.

"Know what?" Erin asked.

She really didn't need to ask. She had a feeling that she knew exactly what Hank was talking about.

"I know about you and Halstead" Hank said "How long, Erin?"

Erin felt her heart drop to her stomach and she uncovered her face and looked at Voight.

"It just happened" Erin explained as she looked at the man next to her. "Who told you? Olinsky? Dawson?"

"I heard it straight from the horse's mouth" Voight said.

From the look he saw on Erin's face he knew she wanted to know more. "I walked in on Halstead professing his love"

A smile formed on Erin's lips as she looked at Voight. She'd love to have known what Jay said. Seeing him so emotional when she had woken up was different. She'd seen her partner do a lot of things, but it was the first time she'd ever seen him cry in front of her. "Where is Jay?"

Voight sighed and rolled his eyes. "He's at his hotel. Erin, I'm sorry, but I don't approve of this. I think it's a mistake that you two are making. And I'm going to use your medical leave to reassign Halstead with a new partner"

Erin laid back against the pillows and sighed. Suddenly she missed her medicine induced coma.

**5 Weeks Later**

"You really need to be taking it easy. Voight's not even going to let you upstairs" Jay tried to reason with Erin as he watched her make her way around her apartment.

"For the last time, I'm fine. It was six weeks ago. I need to do something. I'm going crazy in this apartment. I appreciate the concern, but I haven't had a single moment to myself since I have gotten out of the hospital. If Voight isn't here spending the night, then Burgess is here, when she's not here, you're here" Erin placed her hands down on her counter and sighed.

"You don't like when I spend the night?" Jay asked folding his arms over his chest and looking at his girlfriend.

"Not when you're leaning over me at 3 am asking "Erin, you asleep? Erin you need anything? Erin can I have this last peanut butter cup?" Erin finished packing her up her bag and kept her back to Jay.

"Pretty sure you should thank me for eating that peanut butter cup, it was shaped like a Christmas Tree" Jay said walking over to her.

"What's your point?" Erin asked running a hand through her hair.

"Nothing, except the fact that it's April" Jay smiled and walked the rest of the way over to Erin and wrapped his arms around her and he ran them over her flat stomach as he rested his chin on her shoulder.

"You're not funny" Erin pouted and she relaxed back into him.

"Not even a little?" Jay asked moving his chin to place a kiss on Erin's shoulder.

"No" Erin looked out the window at the park below her apartment. She smiled as she watched all of the kids running around and playing.

Jay moved one of his hands up and moved Erin's hair off of her neck and placed a kiss where her shoulder and neck met. "Well, maybe Friday night after the policeman's ball I can show you just how funny I can be"

"Pretty sure my doctor said six weeks with no physical activity. Kinda think that means sex..." Erin turned her head and kissed Jay's temple before looking back at the window.

"Um, pretty sure that I have a running count of how long six weeks is to the day. And I know that it ends Saturday" Jay whispered into Erin's ear.

Erin turned in Jay's arms and wrapped her arms around his neck. "See, that's Saturday. The Policeman's Ball is on Friday. That's a whole 24 hours difference"

Jay raised his eyebrows and tightened his arms around Erin's waist pulling her closer to him so that they were chest to chest. "So hardball is your game?"

Erin tilted her head to the side and ran rubbed her hand down Jay's neck. "Don't you think you should know that by now?"

Jay nodded and furrowed his brow "Well, If hardball's what you want to play..." Jay leaned down so his lips were just about to brush hers "Game on" and he pulled away before he kissed her.

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Erin walked into the police station with Jay following behind her. The first person she saw was Platt standing at the desk on the phone.

"I really don't care if you have to go downtown. You go and you bring his fat ass back here" Platt said into the phone.

Jay and Erin shared a look before walking over to the desk where Platt was hanging up the phone.

"Bringing in a crook?" Jay asked as Trudy looked at him and Erin.

"No, Friendship Palace thinks they're going to get away without giving me my duck sauce for my egg rolls? I don't think so. Lou Chin can bring his ass back here and bring it to me" Platt said looking at Jay.

"Lou Chin? Platt, he's like 70. Give him a break" Jay said referring to the life long delivery man from Friendship Palace the local Chinese restaurant a few blocks away.

"What's your point?" Platt asked.

"I don't know. I'm just saying there's a ton of that duck sauce in the fridge in the break room upstairs" Jay explained looking across the desk at Platt.

"You think I want to eat that? God only knows what you guys do in that break room. All I need is to get sick, who'd watch the desk Halstead? If I got sick and someone just walks off the street that's on you Halstead, that's on you" Platt looked away from Jay and over at Erin.

"How are you feeling?" Platt asked.

"I'm feeling better. Thanks" Erin answered as Platt walked from around the back of the desk and over to Erin.

"It's good to see you" Platt said moving back and forth in her spot before she finally moved all the way forward and pulled Erin into a hug.

Erin laughed awkwardly as she returned Platt's hug.

"You really gave everyone a scare" Platt said still holding onto Erin's form.

"I heard" Erin said looking back and side to side as she patted Trudy Platt's back.

"It's real good seeing you. Real good" Platt said as she continued to embrace Erin.

"Thanks" Erin said ready for Platt to let go of her at anytime.

Jay bit back a smile as he watched Erin and Platt together. He enjoyed the scene for a few more seconds before he stepped forward. "Ok, we'll we're going to head upstairs"

Platt pulled away and held onto Erin's shoulders and sighed. "Take care of yourself"

"I will" Erin assured looking away from Platt's gaze.

"Ok" Platt said exhaling. She let go of Erin's shoulders and watched as she and Jay turned to walk up the steps to the main office.

"Ok..." Platt said again as she straightened her tie when Erin and Jay were out of sight. She turned and saw Roman and Burgess walking in the front doors.

"Where the hell have you two been?"

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Jay and Erin walked up to the main office just as Voight was wrapping up a briefing on a case that had just wrapped.

"I thought we had an agreement, Lindsay" Voight said as he looked at Erin.

"We do. I'm not coming to work. I just needed to get out of the house" Erin explained. She felt uneasy with everyone's gaze on her and she side stepped closer to Jay.

Jay felt Erin's unease and he wrapped an arm around her in an effort to support her.

"She just wanted to show everyone how well she's doing. How excited she is for the policeman's ball tomorrow night" Jay said giving a quick glance at Erin before looking at everyone else.

"It's good to see you, Erin" Atwater said getting up from his seat and walking over to Erin and giving her a hug.

"Thanks" Erin said hugging him back.

Everyone followed Atwater's lead and went up and greeted Erin. Jay stepped out of the way and over to his desk. He looked at some paper work and then up at Voight who motioned for Jay to come in his office. Jay took a quick glance at Erin who was talking to Olinsky and he quickly walked into Voight's office and shut the door behind him.

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"How's she doing?" Voight asked taking a seat at his desk.

"She's doing good. I just can't help but think there's something going on in that head of hers that she's not letting anyone know about" Jay said looking through the blinds at Erin who was sharing a laugh with Burgess and Roman who'd made their way upstairs.

"I know there's something wrong. I knew it the other night when you were working a sting and I drove by her apartment and saw all the lights on at 3 am" Voight looked at Jay who looked back at him.

"She's going to have to learn to lean on all of us" Jay said sighing as he sat down.

"I tried to get her to go to speak to a counselor and she wouldn't do it" Voight reclined back in his chair and put his hands behind his head.

"I'm hoping that getting out and going to the policeman's ball helps her. I think getting back and being around everyone will cheer her up" Jay stood up and walked over towards the door.

"We'll see. I don't think that it's wise for her to be brought into an event that big so suddenly, but since when do the two of you listen to me?" Voight leaned forward in his chair and grabbed a file off of the desk. "You'll be back on Monday, right?"

Jay nodded "Yeah, just thought I'd take a few personal days"

Voight nodded but didn't look up from his file. "Just make sure she gets some rest and that you get her to eat something"

Jay nodded and looked at Erin before looking back at Voight. "Any chance that you're going to let me stop tag team working with random partners?"

"Any chance you're going to go back in time and follow my rules?" Voight asked looking up at Jay.

"I was just asking. I mean Erin's going to be coming back soon and I..."

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it" Voight said. "Until then you'll work with who I say you work with. At least I can trust you to keep it in your pants when you're working with Atwater and Ruzek"

Jay shook his head and walked out of Voight's office.

00000000000000000000

Jay sat in a chair outside of the dressing room of the store that he and Erin were in waiting on her to finish trying on her dress for the policeman's ball. He silently played "Candy Crush" as he waited for her. He glanced down at his watch and saw that she'd been in the dressing room for awhile now and he walked over to the door and knocked on it. "Er, you okay in there? Cause if you need help getting in or out of it...just let me know"

Erin heard Jay's voice on the other side of the door and she smiled sadly. He was such a good man. He deserved so much better than her.

Erin felt the hot tears burning her eyes as they spilled over down her cheeks. She turned and looked in the mirror at her reflection. She looked down at her arms which had long lost the bruising from her IV's, what hadn't faded though were the three scars that started below her breast bone and went across her flat stomach. She ran her hand over the red scars and shook her head.

Why can't she just sleep with the lights off when she's alone?

Why couldn't anyone understand that she just wanted to be left alone?

But most of all,

How was Jay supposed to think she was beautiful when she had these scars?

"Baby? Are you alright in there?" Jay asked knocking on the dressing room door again.

Erin shook all the bad thoughts out of her head and she wiped her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm fine. Just trying to decide what kind of underwear to wear with this dress" Erin joked hoping that Jay wouldn't notice anything wrong with her voice.

"None works for me" Jay said before pulling up the messaging on his Iphone.

Erin was getting dressed as her phone buzzed. She slid her thumb over the screen and read her text.

_"Not nice to tease, Miss Lindsay. I'd hate to have to come in there and punish you" _

Erin smiled as she read Jay's text and she thought for a minute before replying.

Jay felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he pulled it out to read his text.

_"You wish. But, you don't have big enough guts to come in here with me" _

Jay rolled his eyes before replying to Erin's text.

Erin finished getting dressed and she opened her phone to read her text.

_"Baby, my guts aren't the only thing that's "Big"...you just wait" _

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**Thoughts? **


	12. Bang Bang There Goes Your Heart

**Kind of a longer one. I hope that you guys like it. Have to warn you. It's a strong M...**

**A/N: I don't own any of these songs...**

**0000000000000000000000000000000**

Jay adjusted his tie and looked in the mirror as he stood in Erin's living room waiting on her to finish getting ready. He fixed his cuff link and noticed the time on his watch.

"Erin, we have to get going" He called from the living room.

"Five more minutes" she called from the other side of the bedroom door.

Jay rolled his eyes and walked over to the kitchen island and pulled his suit jacket off of the chair. He buttoned the black buttons and sighed. He hated suits. He didn't understand why the Policeman's Ball needed to be so damn formal. He walked around the kitchen island to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of beer. He popped the top and took a drink and turned just as the bedroom door opened.

Erin walked out of the bedroom and Jay's breath caught in his throat. Stunning didn't even begin to describe the sight in front of him. Erin wore a floor length satin red dress. It was sleeveless and had silver jewels that trimmed the v neck line and had a slit from the middle of her thigh revealing her toned legs. She turned around slowly the back of the dress was open back except for the straps which criss crossed around her back and the dress had a small train that followed her as she walked. Her hair was pulled to the side and pinned in a loose, curly bun.

"Does this look ok?" Erin asked picking up on Jay's silence.

"Ye...ye...Yeah" Jay stumbled over his words unable to take his eyes off of the sight in front of him.

"You ok?" Erin asked a nervous laughter falling from her mouth.

"You look beautiful, baby" Jay said as he sat his beer on the counter and walked over to Erin.

"You don't look so bad yourself" She smiled and took note of his tailored black suit and tie with a white dress shirt underneath.

"This old thing?" Jay asked running his hands down the front of his suit. "I do look pretty bitchin"

"So bitchin" Erin laughed as Jay wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

Erin wrapped her arms around Jay's neck and deepened the kiss. Jay groaned against her mouth and he pulled her tighter against him. His hands running across her bare back and down to rest against the curve of her ass.

Erin's hands ran down Jay's chest and around his back as they continued to kiss. She laughed softly against his mouth and gently bit his bottom lip as she pulled away from him.

"We should go" Erin stepped back ran her hands down the front of her dress.

Jay cleared his throat and sighed "I think I'm gonna need a minute"

00000000000000000000000000

Adam Ruzek made his way into the W Hotel in downtown Chicago with Kim on his arm. He couldn't deny that he felt like the luckiest man alive with this girl on his arm.

Kim was dressed in a floor length blue satin dress. It was strapless and fitted until her thighs and then it flared out with a slit in from revealing her legs. Not to be the girl who chooses comfort over style Kim opted to match her dress with matching blue tennis shoes instead of high heels.

Adam wore a black suit with a blue dress shirt under his suit jacket. He decided to go without a tie and he pulled Kim closer to him. "In case I haven't told you. You look really beautiful tonight"

"Just tonight, Ruzek?" Kim asked pushing a stand of her pin straightened hair back behind her ear.

"Well, most days you look nice. I can't really complain" Adam joked as he and Kim walked up to the doors of the banquet hall.

"Gee, thanks" Kim shook her head and laughed as she and Adam walked into the banquet hall.

Chicago's finest were out in full force tonight for the annual Policeman's Ball. It was always a good time and what better way to spend a Friday night with coworkers and raising a little money for charity.

"Do you want to dance with me?" Adam asked as he and Kim found their table.

"Um, sure" Burgess said placing her clutch purse down on the table next to Laura Dawson who was watching Antonio dance with Trudy Platt. Who currently had her hands sliding lower and lower to Antonio's ass.

000000000000000000000000000

Erin took a deep breath as she looked up at the hotel. She wanted tonight to be perfect. She wanted to have a fun night with her boyfriend, with her friends and just forget about the events of the past 6 weeks. She didn't want to go in the banquet hall and be the girl that everyone took pity on and felt sorry for.

"You ok?" Jay asked as he walked up to her from tipping the valet to park his car.

Erin shook all the uneasy feeling out of her mind and looked at Jay. "Yeah...Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just ready to go and have a nice night with you and all of our friends"

Jay smiled and took ahold of Erin's hand "Well, I hope that you can find the time to save me a dance"

"We'll see...I mean Kelly Severide is right down the street. You never know where the night will take me" Erin started walking up the steps to go into the hotel.

"There's that wonderful Erin Lindsay mouth that I've been waiting on. By the way, you're still not funny" Jay walked up the steps to the hotel doors.

"You know you like my smart ass-ness" Erin raised an eyebrow at Jay as she walked past him and into the hotel.

Jay followed and grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back against him. Her back to his front. "There are so many other things that mouth could be doing to me, instead of smarting me off all the time"

Jay's breath was hot against Erin's neck and she closed her eyes as she leaned back into him. "You'll just have to play your cards right"

00000000000000000000000000

Burgess and Ruzek made their way to the dance floor as "Lucky" by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat started to play over the speakers. Kim laughed as Adam pulled her to him and dipped her backwards.

"So, are you planning on spending the night with me tonight?" Adam asked pulling Kim closer to him

_Do you hear me, _

_I'm talking to you _

_Across the water across the deep blue ocean _

_Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying _

_Boy I hear you in my dreams _

_I feel your whisper across the sea _

_I keep you with me in my heart _

_You make it easier when life gets hard _

"I don't know. I mean I do have to get up early tomorrow" Kim said as she looked around the room

"Why?" Adam asked running his hand down her back as they danced to the music.

"I promised Platt that I'd help her clean up the commons area at the precinct. They're doing some renovation to it and me and Roman have to go and help her" Kim said as she looked around the room at the decorations.

"Why does Sean Roman need to go?" Adam asked pulling his head back.

_I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend _

_Lucky to have been where I have been _

_Lucky to be coming home again _

_Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _

_They don't know how long it takes _

_Waiting for a love like this _

_Every time we say goodbye _

_I wish we had one more kiss _

_I'll wait for you I promise you, I will _

_Lucky we're in love in every way _

_Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed _

_Lucky to be coming home someday _

Kim shook her head and looked up at Adam "You don't have anything to worry about. It's not like that with me and Roman...we work together"

"Just like we work together? Or like Lindsay and Halstead work together?" Adam asked.

The truth was he trusted Kim. He really did and he even liked Sean Roman. But, there was something about Roman that he couldn't put his finger on. Something that said to him Roman saw a little bit more in Kim than just friendship.

"I promise you that there's nothing going on between me and Roman. We're just friends. He told me he thought my goodness could rub off on him" Kim said as she laid her head against Adam's chest.

_And so I'm sailing through the sea _

_To an island where we'll meet _

_You'll hear the music fill the air _

_I'll put a flower in your hair _

_Though the breezes through the trees _

_Move so pretty you're all I see _

_As the world keeps spinning round _

_You hold me right here right now _

"He wants your goodness to rub off on him? He probably wants your ass to rub off on him" Adam said looking across the dance floor at Roman who was talking to Atwater.

"He does not" Kim shook her head and pulled back to look at Adam.

"I love you, ok. You need to get that through your thick skull" She ran her hand up Adam's arm and smiled.

"You say you love me?" Adam asked raising an eyebrow at her.

"Most days" Kim smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

"Well, I kinda love you, too" Adam said pulling her into his arms and kissing her as he dipped her backwards

_I'm lucky we're in love in every way _

_Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed _

_Lucky to be coming home someday _

_Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh _

_Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh_

00000000000000000000000000000

Erin took a drink of her tea as she looked around the dance floor. There were cops from all of the 22 districts around Chicago represented. A full house for sure. It was a wonderful fundraiser and the Children's Hospital of Chicago would benefit from the money raised.

Erin scanned the room for Jay and smiled when she found him dancing with one of the young cancer patients that had come to the Policeman's Ball as one of the guests of honor.

The little girl was maybe six or seven Erin guessed and her small feet stood on top of Jay's as they danced. Her purple dress matched the head band that was around her beautiful bald head. She must've been telling Jay some crazy story because he threw his head back and laughed as he danced with the small girl.

Erin's eyes radiated with love as she looked at him. He was everything she wanted. She couldn't believe how someone like him could ever happen to her. She felt the voices slowly filling her mind again as she watched Jay dip the little girl backwards causing her to laugh.

_You're not good enough for him._

_You're not smart enough_

_Not pretty enough._

_He's going to leave you_

_They ALWAYS leave you_

Erin shook the thoughts out of her head and looked down at her glass. God, she'd kill for some alcohol.

"Got time to give me a dance?"

Erin turned her head and looked up at Hank Voight who was standing just behind her chair.

"Sure" she said and stood up from her chair and took his hand.

Erin was surprised to see Voight here. While he did help with donations to the charities every year, he never showed up for the Policeman's Balls. At least not since Camille had died. The last one he ever attended was with her just as she was getting sick.

Hank took hold of Erin's hand and walked through the crowd to an open spot on the floor. He was dressed in an all black suit. "Typical" Erin thought to herself as she stepped into Hank Voight's embrace as they started to dance to the song "There You'll Be" by Faith Hill

_When I think back on these times _

_And the dreams we left behind _

_I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get to have you in my life _

"How have you been feeling?' Voight asked as he felt Erin wrap her arm around his back.

"I'm ok" Erin said. She knew that she was lying to the man who'd known her since she was just a lost kid going nowhere fast.

Voight nodded as he and Erin danced to the music "You know, after Camille died I didn't think I'd ever be able to step another foot inside one of these things. You know this was her favorite event that we did?"

Erin shook her head "I didn't know that"

Voight nodded again and looked over Erin's shoulder at Jay who was sitting down and watching them. "She would start planning the next year's as soon as the ball would end"

Erin smiled as she thought back on Camille Voight. She was a saint. If there was ever a woman who made it to the other side, it was Camille Voight. "She loved her parties"

_When I look back on these days _

_I'll look and see your face _

_You were right there for me _

"That she did" Voight smiled as he thought about his late wife. God, how he missed her. "My point is, I knew when Camille was getting sick. Hell, maybe I knew even before she did. But anytime that I'd ask her if she was okay, she'd always say "I'm fine"

Erin tensed as she listened to Hank talk. She silently prayed this story wasn't going to somehow be made about her, but she knew she already had the answer.

"She didn't want to worry you"

_In my dreams I'll always see you soaring by the sky _

_In my heart there'll always be a place for you _

_For all my life _

_I'll keep a part of you with me _

_And everywhere I am there you'll be _

_And everywhere I am there you'll be_

"My biggest regret in this life was believing her when she kept saying "I'm fine" I knew she wasn't. Just like I know that you're not "Fine" if there's a problem, I want you to tell me" Voight pulled back and looked down at Erin.

Erin looked up at the man who had rescued her. Who'd taken her into his home and raised her. The look she saw on his face was not that of a boss, but of a concerned father.

"I just have a few rough nights every now and then. I mean it comes with the job"

_Well you showed me how it feels _

_To feel the sky within my reach _

_And I always will remember all the strength you gave to me _

_Your love made me make it through _

_Oh I owe so much to you _

_You were right there for me_

Voight kept his eyes on Erin and he silently kicked himself. He loved this girl and he'd go above and beyond to protect her. But part of him felt like in protecting her, he was the one who was hurting her. It wasn't his intentions. He only did what he did to protect the people he loved and cared for. But, he hated that he'd made her afraid to be honest with him.

"Maybe you should go talk to that counselor I told you about. I'm sure that she'd help you through all of this"

_In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky _

_In my heart there'll always be a place for you _

_For all my life _

_I'll keep a part of you with me _

_And everywhere I am there you'll be_

"No, I don't need to talk to anybody. I'm not crazy" Erin said her eyes narrowing as she looked up at Voight.

"I didn't say you were crazy, Erin. I'm telling you that you were brutally attacked. You can't just go on living like that didn't affect you" Voight tried to reason with Erin.

"I don't need you to tell me I was attacked. I see it every day when I look in the mirror. Do you not think that I don't close my eyes and see that knife above me? Cause I do all the time. Does that make you happy? Are you happy now?" Erin asked tears welling in her eyes.

_'Cause I always saw in you my light, my strength _

_And I want to thank you now for all the ways _

_You were right there for me _

_(You were right there for me) _

_You were right there for me _

_For always_

Voight pulled Erin back into him and he held her to him "I'm sorry, Erin. I wish that I could make this go away for you. If I could I would. Please just think about going to talk to somebody. I can go with you or even Halstead"

Erin shook her head. "No, I don't want Jay to know about this. You have to promise me that you won't say anything Hank. Please"

Voight weighed his options as he looked over Erin's shoulder back at Jay. He finally had the leverage he needed to end this "romance" between the two of them. Jay would never forgive Erin for not coming to him with something like this.

But as he turned his gaze back to the young girl in his arms he was reminded of his precious Camille. She'd have loved Jay. And he knew that if he betrayed Erin like that, she'd never forgive him. As much as he hated to say it he knew that Jay Halstead was here to stay.

"I won't say anything. Just as long as you go to talk to someone about how you're feeling"

Erin didn't say anything. She just stepped back into Hank's embrace as the song continued to play out.

_In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky _

_In my heart there'll always be a place for you _

_For all my life _

_I'll keep a part of you with me _

_And everywhere I am there you'll be _

_And everywhere I am there you'll be _

_There you'll be_

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The Policeman's Ball was still in full swing as Jay and Erin made their way onto the dance floor. Erin had long since removed her shoes and was walking around bare foot. "Note to self: No heels next year" Erin thought as she followed Jay to the empty spot beside where Adam and Kim were dancing as "She's Everything" by Brad Paisley started to play.

_She's a yellow pair of running shoes_  
><em>A holey pair of jeans<em>  
><em>She looks great in cheap sunglasses<em>  
><em>She looks great in anything<em>  
><em>She's: "I want a piece of chocolate."<em>  
><em>"Take me to a movie."<em>  
><em>She's: "I can't find a thing to wear."<em>  
><em>Now and then she's moody<em>  
><em>She's a Saturn with a sunroof<em>  
><em>With her brown hair a-blowing<em>  
><em>She's a soft place to land<em>  
><em>And a good feeling knowing<em>  
><em>She's a warm conversation<em>  
><em>That I wouldn't miss for nothing<em>  
><em>She's a fighter when she's mad<em>  
><em>And she's a lover when she's loving<em>

"Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?" Jay asked as he pulled Erin into his arms on the dance floor.

"Once or twice" Erin smiled as she looked up at Jay.

Jay raised his wrist up to look at his watch "I do believe that it's almost 10 pm. Which means that we're very close to Saturday. and that means I can take you home and show you just how sexy you looked in this dress"

"You're pretty full of yourself tonight, Halstead" Erin ran her fingers along the back of Jay's neck as they danced.

_And she's everything I ever wanted_  
><em>And everything I need<em>  
><em>I talk about her<em>  
><em>I go on and on, and on<em>  
><em>'Cause she's everything to me<em>

"Can't a guy be honest around here?" Jay asked raising a brow at Erin.

"I don't know. I feel like you kinda only want to get in my pants" Erin ran her hand down Jay's chest as they danced and she smiled when she felt him take a hold of it.

"Me in yours? Oh, no, no, no. It's you who wants in my pants. I am a true gentleman" Jay raised his and Erin's clasped hands up to his mouth and kissed her hand.

_She's a Saturday out on the town_  
><em>And a church girl on Sunday<em>  
><em>She's a cross around her neck<em>  
><em>And a cuss word 'cause it's Monday<em>  
><em>She's a bubble bath and candles<em>  
><em>Baby, come and kiss me<em>  
><em>She's a one glass of wine<em>  
><em>And she's feeling kinda tipsy<em>  
><em>She's the giver I wish I could be<em>  
><em>And the stealer of the covers<em>  
><em>She's a picture in my wallet<em>  
><em>My unborn children's mother<em>  
><em>She's the hand that I'm holding<em>  
><em>When I'm on my knees and praying<em>  
><em>She's the answer to my prayer<em>  
><em>And she's the song that I'm playing<em>

"In your pants? Halstead. You're dreaming" Erin stepped even closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I think the cruise proved that statement true" Jay felt Erin laugh against his chest and he placed a soft kiss on the top of her head as he breathed in the soft smell of her shampoo and perfume combined.

"I can't believe I showered in there after you were making nice with yourself" Erin teased as she looked over at Ruzek and Burgess dancing.

"Well, you probably shouldn't use the shower at your apartment anymore then" Jay said not missing a beat.

_And she's everything I ever wanted_  
><em>And everything I need<em>  
><em>I talk about her<em>  
><em>I go on and on, and on<em>  
><em>'Cause she's everything to me<em>

"You're an idiot" Erin laughed and pulled back to look at him.

Her gaze met Jay's and she couldn't help the pull on her heart as she was met with nothing but love in his eyes.

Jay reached down and brushed a loose curl from Erin's side swept bun and ran his hand over her cheek.

"You're beautiful" Jay whispered "I'm so in love with you"

Erin smiled as her eyes welled with tears.

Jay's gaze searched hers and his smile fell "Baby, what's wrong?"

_She's the voice I love to hear_  
><em>Someday when I'm ninety<em>  
><em>She's that wooden rocking chair<em>  
><em>I want rocking right beside me<em>  
><em>Every day that passes<em>  
><em>I only love her more<em>  
><em>Yeah, she's the one<em>  
><em>That I'd lay down my own life for.<em>

Erin shook her head as a tear slid down her cheek "Do you believe in magic? I never used to. I mean, how could I? 13, You're taking care of your junkie mom, you hope against hope for magic, something to make it all better. It never comes, and, you know, my dad's in jail. Well, no abracadabra there. And then there's Severide. Well... any magic that was there, that ran out? But, then there's you. Jay Alexander Halstead, The living and breathing proof that someone up there is thinking of me... my friend who was with me always. It's pure magic"

Jay ran his across Erin's cheek and he bent down and kissed her.

"Do you think I can take you home now?"

_And she's everything I ever wanted_  
><em>And everything I need<em>  
><em>She's everything to me<em>  
><em>Yeah, she's everything to me<em>  
><em>Everything I ever wanted<em>  
><em>And everything I need<em>  
><em>She's everything to me<em>

_00000000000000000000000000000000_

Jay yawned as he laid in Erin's bed waiting for her to get out of the shower. Why is there never anything on TV on a Friday night?

"Erin? Are you ok in there?" Jay called looking over at the bathroom door.

Erin looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair fell down around her in loose waves as she'd taken the time to blow dry it after her shower. She'd put a little bit of make up on and she stepped back as she looked at herself.

Her red nightie was silk and fell to just below her butt. the bottom and the cups around the top were trimmed in lace. Erin closed her eyes and looked at the door.

"This is for Jay. He loves you" Erin whispered to herself.

Erin walked to the bathroom door and placed a shaky hand on the door knob.

"Erin? are you ok?" She heard Jay ask again and heard the mattress on the bed shift as he got out of it.

"I'm fine. I'm just finishing your present" Erin said from the other side of the door.

"What present is that?" Jay asked taking a step towards the bathroom door as it opened and Erin stepped out.

"You look beautiful Baby" Jay said walking over to her and wrapping his arms around her.

"Thank you" Erin said softly. She reached over to the wall and flipped the lights out. The only light coming in the room was from the moon and the downtown Chicago lights.

She stepped out of his embrace and over to the bed. She pulled the bedspread down as Jay walked up behind her. His hands slid under the silk nightie she wore, caressing the warm skin of her side tenderly.

Erin turned to face him again as Jay lifted the red nightie over her head, tossing it to the side. His eyes traveled hungrily over her bare breasts, his mouth watering at the sight of them. He lifted his gaze to her face and she could see the heat in his eyes and her breath hitched.

Erin reached for his waistband and pulled his shirt free. Her cool hands touched the warm skin of his stomach and he jumped slightly but never took his eyes off hers. Jay's hands lifted and he cupped her breasts in his palms. Erin shuddered as a soft moan escaped her lips.

Her fingers fumbled with his zipper as her head lolled back, her eyes fluttering closed. Jay continued to gently touch her as he bent his head to suck softly at the base of her throat. He felt her racing pulse beneath his lips and he scraped his teeth gently over it causing it to race even faster.

Erin finally got his zipper down and slid her hand into the front of his boxers. His already hard cock jumped in her hand as she gripped him.

"Erin," Jay groaned against her throat, the feel of her hands finally on him felt so good it almost hurt.

Erin lifted her head, her eyes dark with desire and she pushed him away gently. She sat on the edge of the bed and pushed his dress pants and boxers down his legs, letting his manhood jump free from its confines.

She licked her lips and brought them to his tip, She took his head in her mouth and sucked him softly as his fingers speared through her hair. Jay closed his eyes and moaned at the feeling of her soft lips and tongue on him. After a few moments he gently pulled her head away from him. He had no intention of coming in her mouth.

Erin looked up at him and smiled softly and Jay caressed her cheek gently.

"Lay down, baby" Jay whispered as he helped her to lean back and scoot up to the middle of the mattress. He slipped her panties down her legs. When he was finished he stood back up and lifted his undershirt over his head and he stepped out of his boxers and dress pants.

Erin watched him through heavy-lidded eyes as she reached a hand out to him. Jay lifted his knees onto the bed and leaned over her. He placed a soft kiss over her stomach and murmured something she didn't quite understand against her skin before his lips started to travel up her body, leaving a path of fire in his wake.

Erin sighed as she thread her fingers in his hair, tickling the tops of his ears with her fingertips.

Jay chuckled softly as he lifted his head from the underside of her breast.

"I love you," Erin whispered as she looked down at him. Jay winked at her before lowering his mouth to her breast again and he shifted to lay beside her.

Erin turned toward him. She cupped his face in her hands and leaned forward to kiss him. He figured she wanted more foreplay so he gently caressed the underside of her belly before his fingers slid lower and into her.

Erin moaned into his mouth as she lifted her leg over his hip to give him easier access to her. One of her hands left his face and traveled down his chest. She twirled her fingers in the hair just below his navel and she felt his cock jump against her hand.

She took him in her palm and stroked him firmly. Jay's hips bucked against her and she giggled against his lips. "Lay on your back," she murmured into his mouth as she swept her thumb over his tip, collecting the beaded moisture.

Jay rolled onto his back and watched as Erin brought her thumb to her mouth and licked his desire from it. He then helped her to her knees so she could straddle him.

Erin rested her knees on either side of his hips as she trapped his throbbing cock between them. Jay could feel her wetness against him and he groaned, needing to bury himself inside her. He needed the relief that only she could bring him. That only her body could give him.

Erin looked down at Jay and ran her fingers across his chest. She circled his nipples with her fingernails and his eyes fell shut as his hips jerked. Erin slid her wetness along his shaft, coating him with her moisture.

"Please?" Jay begged her softly and Erin rose up on her knees. Jay's cock popped up, begging for her. He moved his hands to her hips to help her as she grasped his cock in her hand, guiding him to the deep dark recesses of her body.

Erin rested her hands on his chest for leverage as she lowered herself down on him slowly, her wet velvet walls swallowing him inch by inch. Erin's leg's trembled as she felt her first orgasm overtake her, the friction of his cock sliding along her clit as she lowered herself onto him sending shock waves throughout her entire body.

Jay held her hips steady, as he watched her eyes flutter again as she rode out her climax, her walls clamping around him like a vise. Jay gritted his teeth as he fought the overwhelming urge to just thrust up into her hard and deep and release himself inside her.

When the tremors had passed, Erin opened her eyes and looked down at him again. She was so incredibly beautiful. She took his breath away.

Jay's hands moved away from her hips and he took her small hands in his large ones. He loved seeing their hands together. The rough and calloused against the soft and delicate. He entwined their fingers together as Erin started rocking slowly. Just enough to make his hips buck again.

Using the strength in Jay's arms and the muscles in her thighs as leverage Erin leaned forward and increased the motion of her hips, circling her body over his. Jay moaned as he watched her face, watching the myriad of emotions and sensations. Erin smiled at him, nibbling softly on her bottom lip as she concentrated on the feeling of his hard cock inside her. Jay lifted his hips off the mattress thrusting gently inside her, letting her walls grip him and pull him in.

"Harder," Erin whispered into the almost quiet room. The only sounds inside it were the gentle squeaking of the springs beneath them and the gasping breaths coming from both their lips as they sought completion in each other's bodies.

Jay thrust his hips harder, lifting them higher each time she lowered herself back down on him. Jay could feel himself getting close, felt himself lengthen inside her. He released one of her hands and brought his fingers to where they were joined. His other hand moved to her breast and teased the hard peak of her nipple. He brought his finger to his lips and wet it before returning it to her nipple, circling the tender bud.

Small sexy moans escaped Erin's lips as she pulled his hand away from her breast and pulled it to her lips. She locked her eyes on his as she sucked on his fingers, letting her tongue flick against the tips before she thread their fingers together again and let their entwined hands drop to rest next to Jay's hips.

Erin started trembling again as his name escaped her lips. "Jay," she whimpered as she rocked against him, harder, crushing the finger, that was still tickling her enflamed clitoris between their pelvic bones.

"That's it baby," Jay murmured as his eyes, which were mere slits, clouded even further with desire.

Erin felt her walls begin to throb again and she threw her head back and her mouth fell open as her eyes went blind from the intense pleasure rocketing through her body. She tightened her thighs around his hips just as her walls tightened around his cock. Jay groaned as his cock twitched and then exploded inside her, pumping his seed deep into her body.

Erin slumped back against him as she gasped for air, waiting for her racing heart to return to normal.

"Thank you," Erin whispered as she wet her dry lips with the tip of her tongue. "For saving my life"

Jay tilted Erin's chin up and he brought her lips to his and kissed her.

After a few minutes, Jay shifted to help her to climb off him and she settled on the mattress beside him. Jay reached for the bedspread, pulling it over them. He pulled her back against his chest and snuggled up behind her as his hand again covered her stomach gently. He buried his face in her soft hair, inhaling the smell of her shampoo.

He kissed her just below her ear as he whispered softly. "I love you."

"Love you," she murmured as she drifted off to sleep.

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**I hope that you guys liked this chapter. If you didn't, I'm sorry. Don't give up on me yet. I've still got some ideas left. I hope that you guys are staying warm. Warm? I don't even know what that word means anymore. Thanks for the reviews. Have a great night. Also, so much for respecting privacy, but are Sophia and Jesse dating in real life? People swear by it on Facebook. I thought she was still with the guy from Google. Who's like a billionaire, but she's not. If they are, it really plays through on screen. Must be where all that Linstead chemistry comes from.**


	13. I Will Try To Fix You

**Thanks for the reviews everyone. I appreciate each and everyone of them. Sorry if I made anybody mad asking if Jesse and Sophia were dating. I understand it's not my business, all I meant was I thought they had really great chemistry together. Hope that you guys have had a good couple of days. Don't forget to review =-)**

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Erin rolled over and instead of being met with Jay's warm embrace she felt empty bed. She opened her eyes and wrapped her comforter around her before sitting up in bed. She looked around the room and saw that Jay's clothes were gone, the only thing of his remaining was his button down dress shirt from the Policeman's Ball last night that was hanging over the back of her bedroom door.

Erin slipped out of bed and walked over to the door and grabbed the white dress shirt and buttoned it up before slipping on some clean underwear and making her way into the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and ran a brush through her hair before pulling it up into a pony tail.

And that's when she saw it.

The small purple mark on her collarbone. A hickey?

"Shit" Erin said as she stood on her tip toes to the bathroom mirror to get a better look at what Jay'd done to her.

The sound of the front door to her apartment opened and Erin heard him lay the keys down on the kitchen island before setting some bags down and starting to unload them.

Erin rolled her eyes and walked out of the bathroom and through her bedroom and leaned against the door frame as she looked at Jay.

He was dressed in jeans and a Blackhawks t-shirt and he absent mindedly unpacked grocery bags and put stuff away. He turned around to grab another bag of groceries when he saw her in the doorway.

Erin stood with her arms folded against her and she leaned against the door frame with an annoyed look on her face. Jay glanced down at his watch and saw that it was only 8:45 in the morning. What could he have done to have pissed her off already.

"Good morning" He spoke first not really sure of the response he was going to receive.

"Morning" Erin walked over to Jay and turned the corner of the kitchen island. "Do you notice anything that wasn't there last night?" Erin asked the annoyance in her voice was evident.

"Um, clothes?" Jay asked. He wasn't really sure where she was going with this. But you could never go wrong with cracking a joke. He heard Erin groan and he couldn't help but bite back a smile as she stepped closet to him.

"Look at this!" Erin exclaimed as she pulled the collar of the dress shirt back to show off the small hickey on her collarbone.

"Oh...that" Jay said an audible chuckle leaving his lips.

"It's not funny, Jay" Erin sighed as she heard him laughing. "I've got to go to work with this on my neck. You branded me. Why didn't you just piss on me while you were at it"

"Baby I'm not into that" Jay joked as he stepped toward Erin and reached a hand out for her.

"Stop making jokes, Halstead" Erin narrowed her eyes at him and stepped back away from his grasp. "This" she said gesturing to the mark on her collarbone. "Is not funny"

"Erin, I'm sorry" Jay said simply as he took another step towards her and pulled her into a hug.

"Shut up" Erin frowned but allowed Jay to pull her into his embrace.

Jay placed a kiss on Erin's forehead before pulling her all the way into his arms. "I'm sorry, baby"

Erin rolled her eyes and laid her head against Jay's chest "No you're not"

Jay pulled back and looked at her "Yes, I am. But in my defense, you weren't exactly complaining about it last night. In fact pretty sure round two consisted of a lot of "Please Jay...Don't stop...Oh God"

Erin pulled away from Jay's grasp and walked over to the sink. "Jerk"

Jay laughed and watched as Erin opened the cabinet above the sink and stood on her tip toes to grab a glass. He groaned as his dress shirt rode up her thighs and fell just below her ass as she raised her arm over her head.

He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her pulling her back to his front. "Would it help if I told you that you look so sexy in my clothes that I think you should wear them all the time?"

Erin sat her glass on the counter and leaned back into Jay. "Maybe..."

Jay smiled and placed a soft kiss on her neck "Would it also help if I told you that I brought you a cronut and a coffee?"

Erin sighed and smiled "You should've started with that"

Jay placed a second kiss on Erin's shoulder and ran his hand down to grab the bottom of his dress shirt and pulled it up her thighs. His hand slid under the shirt and up her side. He smiled against her shoulder as he heard her sigh and lay her head back against his shoulder.

Erin closed her eyes as she felt Jay run his hand up her bare skin and stop just under her breast before moving to fan his hand out across her flat stomach. She tensed as she felt the tips of his fingers skim against the scars on her stomach.

"Jay..." Erin said softly opening her eyes.

"Hmm?" Jay murmured against her shoulder as he brought his other hand up and started to undo the buttons on his shirt.

"Stop" Erin whispered.

"Just relax, baby. No hickeys...at least not where anyone can see this time" Jay whispered as he moved to the buttons just over her stomach.

Erin felt a panic rise from her stomach and radiate through her entire body. Sex last night was different. It was dark, Jay didn't see the scars that were on her body. The light of day made them all to real, she couldn't stand the thought of him looking at her and being revolted. "Jay...please" she whispered.

Jay groaned against her neck and pressed his growing jean covered erection against her behind. "Just tell me what you want, Erin"

"Stop" Erin said grabbing his hands and pushing them away from her. She stepped out of his grasp and kept her back to him as she quickly buttoned his shirt.

"Erin?" Jay looked at Erin quizzically and ran a hand through his short hair. "What's wrong?"

Erin felt the hot tears welling up and burning her eyes as they threatened to spill over. "Nothing. I'm going to go shower"

Jay stepped towards her but quickly stopped in his tracks when he saw her hold her hand up.

"I'm fine" Erin said as she walked to the bedroom.

Jay watched as the bedroom door shut and a few moments later he heard the shower turn on. He walked into the bedroom and over to the bathroom door and turned the knob but the door was locked. "Erin, are you ok?"

Erin sat in the shower on the tile floor still wearing Jay's dress shirt. Steam filled the room as the hot water pelted down on her skin turning her legs a light shade of red. "I'm fine"

Jay placed his hand on the door and tried the door knob again "Baby, please let me in. Whatever's wrong I can help you. Is it something I did?"

Erin pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them. He thinks it's his fault? "Way to go. Erin. You're even more worthless than you thought. He fucked you and now he's going to leave you"

Erin couldn't fight the tears anymore as they slid down her cheeks. She placed her head onto her knees and started sobbing. Jay pressed his ear to the door and could hear her crying over the sound of the shower. He said her name again and jerked harder on the door handle. "Erin? babe let me in"

"I'm FINE!" Erin screamed over the shower "JUST LEAVE"

Jay felt rise in his body and he used his shoulder to break the door open. A wall of steam radiated from out of the bathroom and into Erin's bedroom like smoke. Jay quickly turned the water off and grabbed a towel off of the sink.

"Erin" Jay said kneeling down.

"GET AWAY FROM ME. I TOLD YOU I'M FINE" Erin screamed

Jay knelt all the way down and wrapped his arms around Erin. The dress shirt she still wore was wet and burning hot against his skin as he pulled her body into his arms.

"I'm fine. Just leave...You got what you wanted from me. I fucked you, you can take your stuff and leave" Erin jerked out of Jay's embrace and into the corner of the shower.

"Erin, baby please. Let me help you. Please just tell me what I can do" Jay pleaded with Erin.

"You should've let me die" Erin said looking away from the tile wall and over at Jay. Her voice was full of venom as she spoke.

"What?" Jay asked looking over at Erin. He reached for her again and he felt her recoil from his grasp.

"If you'd have just let me die, I wouldn't have a daily reminder of what happened to me. I hate you" Erin spat as she turned her head away from Jay.

"Erin...You don't mean that" Jay said reaching to pull Erin to him and was met with a hard slap to the face.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME JAY" Erin screamed "JUST GET OUT"

Jay grabbed ahold of Erin again and held her arms down against him as he felt her jerk against him repeatedly. Sobs overtaking her body as she screamed for him to let her go.

Erin fought against Jay's strong embrace as she cried. Why couldn't he just listen to her and leave her alone. She gave him what he wanted. Why can't he just leave?

Jay held Erin in his arms as he felt her fighting stop and the sobs continue to overtake her body. Jay placed a kiss on the top of her wet head as he held her while she broke down in his arms.

After about 20 minutes he felt her start to relax and she raised her head up off of his shoulder.

Erin's hazel eyes looked up at Jay and she couldn't fight the tears that slipped down her cheeks "I'm sorry"

Jay smiled sadly down at Erin and kissed her forehead "Baby it's ok"

Erin shook her head "It's not. It's never going to be ok"

Jay ran his hand down Erin's back and kissed her forehead again. "Let's get you out of these wet clothes"

Erin nodded and she moved out of Jay's lap as she felt him stand up. Jay knelt down and helped Erin out of the shower. He stepped out of the bathroom only long enough to grab a change of clothes for Erin. When he returned he paused in the doorway for a split second and looked at the beautifully broken girl standing in front of the mirror.

He quickly walked over to her and placed the clean pajamas onto the sink and touched Erin's shoulder gently so that she'd turn and face him.

"Let's get you dressed and in bed" Jay whispered as he reached down and started to unbutton the still wet dress shirt that Erin was wearing. He got it unbuttoned and slid if off of her shoulders and it hit the tile floor with a soft thud. Jay reached for the pajama tank tip and helped Erin get it on before kneeling to help her out of her wet underwear and into a dry pair and a pair of pajama shorts. "All done. Let's get you into bed"

Erin didn't say anything. She just nodded and felt Jay wrap his arm around her as he helped her to the bed. Jay helped Erin in the bed and climbed in with her. "I'm right here baby, it's ok"

He felt Erin lay her head on his chest and she started crying softly into his shirt. Jay pulled the blankets up over him and Erin and her ran a hand up and down her back to soothe her as she cried into his chest.

After a few minutes Jay felt Erin start to relax in his arms. He pulled back and saw his sleeping girlfriend laying in his arms. He reached down and brushed a wet strand of hair off of her forehead and leaned down to place a soft kiss on her forehead.

Jay slowly maneuvered his way out of Erin's bed and covered her up before stepping out of her bedroom and shutting the door. He walked over to the couch and grabbed his Iphone and went to his contact list.

When he found the name he was looking for her stared down at his phone and then looked over at the bedroom door. Was this betraying her? She'd probably never forgive him for this. He could only hope that one day she'd understand. He looked back down at his phone and pressed call. After a few rings the line picked up.

"Voight, we need to talk"

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Hope you guys like the chapter. Chicago PD tonight! yay!


	14. Memories of Us

**Thank you for the reviews. Trying to get this quick update in before I head off to work. I hope that you guys like it.**

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Erin looked out the window of Hank Voight's SUV as they pulled up in front of the building. Her gaze lifted to the sign on the building.

"Insight Behavioral Health Center"

Erin shook her head as she heard Hank get out of the driver's side and walk around to the passenger side and opened her door.

"Come on. Let's go" Hank kept his gaze on Erin who hadn't moved from her seat.

She didn't need this. She didn't want to be here. She wasn't sick, and she sure as hell didn't need a mandatory 72 hour stay at some mental health center. Sure, she got sad, who doesn't? She could deal with this on her own.

"Maybe we could just go home" Erin suggested, Not moving from the passenger seat.

"Erin, if you want to come back to work, you're going to go in those doors and stay. I don't know what happened with Halstead this morning, but I know that I don't need to hear about anything like that again" Hank reached for Erin's arm.

Erin pulled her arm away and unbuckled her seat belt. "Well, Jay had no business to call you and tell you anything that happened. I'll never forgive him for this"

Hank nodded as Erin hopped out of the SUV and he shut the door. "He is worried about you, Erin"

Erin scoffed and grabbed her duffel bag out of the backseat. "Yeah, real worried. He's the asshole who called and narced. He's supposed to have my back, not stab me in it"

Voight shook his head, he was one of the last people who wanted to defend Jay Halstead, but he agreed with Jay's decision to call him. "He did what's best for you, Erin"

Erin pulled her bag over her shoulder and looked at Voight. "Just like you, right? Not letting me come back to work? Putting a psych evaluation on me before I can come back to work? Yeah, I can see how you two really give a shit about me"

Voight knew that Erin was upset with him and Jay, but this attack had done more damage then just physical scars and if it took him putting a mental health order on her before he'd let her come back to work, than that's what he'd do. One way or another he was going to get Erin the help that she needed. "Let's just go in and get you settled"

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Erin looked around the small dorm room that was going to be her home for the next three days. The small room had a single bed, a desk with a wooden chair, a dresser, and a window. No TV, no WiFi and no phones were allowed to be used. Erin sat her duffel bag down on the bed and started unpacking it. She had just walked over to the dresser when she heard her door open and Hank walk in with Jay behind him.

Erin looked at the two men standing in her doorway and shook her head. God, she was so pissed. She didn't want to see either of them and the fact that they were leaving her here like she was some animal that nobody wanted anymore just made it worse.

"Pretty sure the two of you can leave. I mean don't you think you've done enough?" the words fell of Erin's lips like venom.

Voight and Jay exchanged a quick glance before they both walked into Erin's small room.

"I spoke with the director of the center. There's a group meeting in 45 minutes that I think you'd benefit going to" Voight said as he laid a small pamphlet down on the desk.

"No thanks" Erin said looking down at the dresser.

"Lindsay, don't do this the hard way. Go to the meetings. It's only 72 hours. After you make it through that, then we can talk about you coming back to work" Voight assured

"You know, maybe I don't want to come back and work for you. Maybe I get sick of you always trying to run my life. MAYBE I will just say hell with you both and leave Chicago" Erin turned around and folded her arms over her chest.

Hank stepped back in the doorway as he and Jay looked at Erin. Her eyes were a mix of anger, hurt and betrayl. "If you want to leave Chicago, I'm not going to stop you. But for the next 72 hours, you're here and you can't legally go anywhere. You WILL go to the meetings that you're required to go to. I don't care if they have to tie you to the chair...your ass will be in that chair"

"You're not my dad, Hank. Just because you took me in doesn't mean shit" Erin knew she didn't mean it. But at this moment, she wanted to hurt him. It was because of him that she was even here. Him and the fucker standing behind him who couldn't keep him mouth shut.

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Jay stepped into the doorway, he wasn't quite sure what to do. Should he step between Voight and Erin? He didn't know. All he did know was that this was not Erin, This wasn't his girl, and he just wanted her to get the help that she so desperately needed.

"Erin..." Jay said softly as if he were trying to relieve the tension in the room. He stepped towards her like he was stepping towards a stray animal he was trying to rescue.

"No. I don't even want to hear it" Erin said her gaze lifting from Hank's to him.

"Please baby..." Jay said

Erin held her hand up to stop Jay from walking over to her. "I'm not your baby. We're done. It's over, Jay"

Jay stared at the girl in front of him. His mind knew that she didn't mean it, but it somehow didn't relay that message to his heart. "If that's how it has to be"

Erin laughed bitterly "It is. You see we're technically not partners anymore, I'm not your girlfriend now, and from this day on...I'm not your friend. Get out of my room, and get out of my life"

Jay looked over at Voight and then back to Erin. "I'm sorry that you're so mad at me, Erin. I can only hope that you see that I did it to help you. I love you"

Erin turned her back to Jay and Hank. "You should probably leave. I have a meeting to get to and all"

Hank nodded and looked at Erin and then over at Jay before they both turned and walked out the door.

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Jay looked at the clock on the wall of the precinct. It was already 11pm and he was exhausted. He looked down at the paperwork on his desk and rubbed his eyes. It was going to be a long night. Atwater and Ruzek were out on a sting to catch a doctor who'd been writing illegal prescriptions and getting the money from dealers downtown.

He knew he should be thinking about the case, but all he could think about was Erin. He looked over at her empty desk and his heart ached. It ached for the girl who used to sit of there. The girl who before her attack would be sitting in he seat busting his balls over something stupid. Not locked up in some inpatient clinic across town. His heart hurt for the girl who he'd _finally _made his only for her to end it over something he'd done that was going to help her. It hurt for Hank Voight who hadn't left his office since they'd came back from dropping Erin off.

Voight had come in and put Alvin Onlinsky in charge of the sting tonight and walked into this office and hadn't come out the rest of the evening. Jay saw the light coming out from under the door and he stood up and walked over to Hank's office and pushed against the cracked door.

Hank's gaze lifted from the paperwork he was looking at and up at Jay who was standing in the doorway. "You're still here? Why?"

Jay shrugged his shoulders and walked into Hank's office and sat down. "I don't know. I guess I didn't want to go home to an empty apartment"

Voight rubbed his eyes and looked at the paperwork. "She'll come around, Halstead"

Jay couldn't believe his ears. Was Hank Voight actually offering him some comfort? The same Hank Voight who was ADAMENT that he and Erin Lindsay not be together. Jay didn't want to press his luck with Voight so he nodded and looked out the window "I hope so"

Voight sat back in his chair "She will. The Erin that you saw today, was the same Erin I took in when she was a teenager. She's going to get some help in there. The psych hold was the only way to legally make her go"

Jay thought of the betrayed look on Erin's face this morning when she'd woken up and seen Hank Voight in her living room. "Are you going to let her come back to work?"

Voight nodded. "Yes, when she's ready. I know that she's not going to come in and want a desk job. But, I can't have her on the street if she's not ready to be out there"

Jay nodded in agreement. "Are you going to go and get her when she's released?"

Voight nodded again "I am"

Jay kept his eyes on the window and looked out at the city. "Do you think she's ever going to let us back in?"

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Erin sat in the dark in her room looking out the window. Her first group meeting was uneventful. She didn't share things with people she knew, let alone strangers. So having to tell them about her attack was not only uncomfortable, but humiliating when she felt everyone's eyes on her while she talked.

God, she just wanted to feel happy again. Why was that so hard? Why couldn't she just put all of this aside? Why did this attack have to remind her of everything she had tried so hard to forget as a kid? She could only think back to when her dad wasn't in prison and her mother's addiction just starting. They would ALWAYS make Erin prideful of her appearance. She thought back to being 6 and getting dirty at school and her father emotionally and physically abusing her for getting off the bus with a dirty dress on. She could smell the alcohol on his breath while he grabbed her arm and jerked her through their trailer into the bathroom. She could remember seeing Bunni standing at the kitchen stove cooking meth while her baby brother sat crying in his play pen, Still in the same diaper that her 6 year old self had put him in when she'd left for school this morning.

She remembered her dad taking her in the bathroom and pealing her clothes off and hitting her, before shoving her into a burning hot shower so she could get clean. She remembered putting on her "Rugrats" night gown after her shower and going to get Teddy. Her mom and dad were nowhere insight so she'd picked Teddy up and carried him into the bathroom and bathed and changed him before going to make them something to eat. She'd pushed the kitchen chair over to the counter and gotten some cereal and went to get the milk and Teddy a bottle.

Tears welled in Erin's eyes as she thought back to the milk only having enough in the carton for Teddy a bottle. So Erin poured him a bottle and decided she'd just wait until school in the morning to eat. Her little tummy grumbled as she carried the Cheerios and bottle of milk back to her room and pulled Teddy up onto her bed. She fed him and played with him until the sun had set and it was time for bed. So, she covered her and Teddy up under her blankets and cuddled him until they'd both fallen asleep.

Erin wiped her eyes as she got out of the chair and moved to her bed. She was so fucked up. More fucked up than anyone would ever understand.


	15. Friends In Low Places

**Thanks for the reviews. So, I don't think I posted in my last chapter, but what did you guys think of "Chicago PD" on Wednesday? I liked it, it really lacked the "Linstead" I wanted. I had thought about doing a "One Shot" on what may have happened in those 5 hours that were unaccounted for when they were at the sex club. I didn't expect them to "Scrabble" or anything, but I still really wanted it. Or at least some form of undercover couple-ness. When Jay said he was on board with whatever they needed to do to look legit, I was like "Do it all! Do ALL the couple things" **

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"So tell me about Hank Voight" the therapist said leaning back in his chair.

Erin sighed and looked down at her hands. Day two of her mandatory psych evaluation was already off to a bad start. First, there was no coffee in the kitchen, and now she was in an hour long "one on one" session with a therapist.

"There's really nothing to tell. He took me in when I was 15 and then he gave me a job" Erin explained running a hand through her hair and looking at the man across from her.

"And your brother Teddy?" The therapist asked.

"What about him?" Erin asked

"Anything, tell me about him" The therapist looked down at his notes and then back up at Erin.

"Well, I was almost six when he was born. I basically raised him until I was 15 and I met Hank Voight. Teddy didn't want anything to do with Hank, Hank tried to help him, he really did. But, Teddy is Teddy and when he was old enough he took off to New York" Erin folded her arms over herself and leaned back in her chair.

"Do you still keep in touch with you brother Teddy?" The therapist asked making some notes.

"Yes, he's my brother. Sure, we fell out of touch for awhile, but we recently reconnected and we're getting back on track" Erin smiled when she thought about her baby brother. Teddy had his demons, that was for sure. However, they were cut from the same cloth, and he was just as strong as she was. At least she'd taught him that.

"When you say you raised Teddy, you mean by helping your mom and dad with him?" The therapist put down his pen and looked over at Erin.

"No, when I say I raised him, I mean I raised him. I took care of him to the best of my ability as a six year old could. My mom was starting to get addicted to drugs, and my dad...he just wasn't cut out to be a father. So, it was just me and Teddy. I'd wake up early and feed him a bottle, change him and go to school. I'd come home and feed him dinner and get him ready for bed, play with him. I'd do whatever I had to, that's where I learned to steal, I used to steal food and clothes for me and my brother. That's how I got caught shoplifting, I was stealing a pair of shoes for Teddy" Erin wasn't proud of her past. She did what she had to do for her brother though.

The therapist picked up his pen and started to write again. "So, that's where your drive to protect kids comes from? Is that what led you to intelligence?"

"I don't know. I think in some part, maybe. I just wish that Teddy would've let Hank give him the help that he gave me. I just care about kids, I don't want to see them ending up where I was" Erin looked at the clock on the wall and sighed. She really just wanted to go home.

"Tell me about Jay Halstead" The therapist said looking up from his note pad.

"What about him?" Erin asked.

This was what she didn't want to talk about. Her attack? Fine. Her shitty childhood? Whatever. Hank Voight? If she had to. But not this. Not now.

"Do you see him as someone you can count on?" The therapist asked.

"I don't want to talk about this" Erin said pulling her legs up under her in her seat.

"Erin, I'm trying to help you. In order to do that, I need to know what triggers your panic attacks" The therapist leaned forward in his seat and looked at Erin. "I understand that he's the one who saved your life"

Erin's gaze fell to her hands and she twisted her pinky ring around and around. "He did"

Erin's therapist sat back and went back to writing his notes. "Would you say that your panic attacks are brought on by Jay?"

Erin shook her head "No. I don't. Jay's...well, he's..." Erin's voice trailed off as she looked down at the floor "Everything"

The therapist nodded and looked up from his paper. "Everything?"

Erin nodded and looked up at him. "Yes. He's the reason I'm sitting here today. I know that if he'd never came to look for me that I'd be dead right now. I know that he's the one who did CPR on me to save me when I was bleeding to death. I know that his face was the last thing I saw before I closed my eyes, and the first thing I saw when I opened them again. I know that I love him, more than I've ever loved another man...or person in my entire life. Everyone says he loves me back, but why would he? I mean look at me"

Erin's therapist moved from his desk over to a chair closer to her. Finally getting a breakthrough with her. "What about you?"

"Jay deserves better. I'm just some white trash street kid. What could I possibly offer him?" Erin shrugged her shoulders as she looked up at the man who was sitting next to her.

"I think that you could offer this guy a lot" The therapist assured.

"I don't know about that" Erin laughed to herself and she turned her head away from her therapist.

"Why do you feel like you're so unworthy of love? Is it because of your upbringing? Or is it because you're afraid to open yourself to the possibility that there's more to your life than just car chases and taking down bad guys?" The therapist moved his chair closer to Erin's.

"I don't know. I just feel like it's easier to close that part of my life off. If you don't give your heart away, then it can't get broken. I learned that early in life" Erin laid her head back against the back of the couch and rubbed her eyes.

"That makes for an awfully lonely life, Miss Lindsay"

Erin looked at the ceiling as the therapist's words played through her mind. "Yeah, I guess it does"

The therapist looked at the clock and then at Erin. "Well, our time is up for today. I really hope that you'll come back and see me again tomorrow. I know that it'll be your last day and you won't have to come back if you don't want to, but I suggest that you do. I think that it could do you some good to come work out these issues with why you don't feel like you're worthy of love"

Erin shrugged her shoulders and she stood up. "I'll think about it"

**0000000000000000000000**

Jay used his key to open the door to Erin's apartment. He thought it would be emotionally best for him and Erin both to get his stuff before she came home. He walked in and flipped the lights on. The whole place was silent, the only sound was of his footsteps and him placing the keys onto the counter. He walked into the bedroom and started gathering up his clothes from the drawer she'd cleaned out for him. He'd picked his clothes up and started putting them in the duffel bag when he felt something small and hard in the back of the dresser drawer. He grasped his hand around it and pulled out the small velvet box that contained his mother's wedding ring. The same ring that Erin had worn on their undercover work, the ring that a nurse had given him when they'd wheeled Erin into surgery at the hospital. The same ring he'd hoped to give her for real one day.

He sat down on the bed and looked at the ring in his hands. It amazed him how it had fit perfectly on Erin's hand. Like that was the hand that it was meant for all along. He wished like hell that it was still on her hand. God, he'd give anything he had to make that true.

At this moment though, she was so mad at him. He knew that. Part of him didn't blame her. He'd went behind her back to Voight and he knew that she'd be hurt, but he had to do it.

Jay shook his head and laid back on the bed. The sheets smelled like Erin's perfume and he closed his eyes and breathed it in. This bed was where he'd spent every night since she'd come home from the hospital and he'd taken care of her.

This bed was where he'd held her, kissed her, made love to her, and embraced her while she cried. He didn't want to go back to his apartment, but he knew he couldn't stay here.

Jay got up from the bed and walked into the bathroom to get the rest of his things.

He pushed the door open and that's when it caught his gaze. His white dress shirt was still laying on the tile floor. He walked over and picked the now dry and wrinkled shirt up off of the floor and tried to shake the memory of the broken girl he'd taken it off of out of his mind.

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Erin walked through the sitting area of the clinic and over to the small kitchen. It was strange. She didn't feel hungry, but she could feel her body craving something. ANYTHING, she knew it was because she hadn't eaten since she'd came in yesterday morning. And come to think of it she really didn't know the last time she really did eat a meal that she had to sit down to. It probably explained why her favorite sweat pants were so loose around her slender hips.

Erin walked into the kitchen and grabbed a small plate as she looked at the lunch spread that was being offered. She frowned at the selections, but picked up a half piece of a peanut butter sandwich, a few celery sticks and a water before she made her way to a small table and sat down.

She was just about to take a bite of her sandwich when she heard a voice behind her.

"Erin Lindsay?"

Erin turned around and saw him standing there. At first she wasn't sure how to react. But she found a small smile form on her lips and she stood up and looked at the man standing behind her.

"Kelly Severide"

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Jay closed the door to Erin's bedroom after he'd finished packing his stuff. He took a quick glance around her living room making sure he'd not left anything behind. He laid his duffel bag down on the floor and grabbed his keys and took Erin's apartment key off of his key ring. He didn't want to just leave it sitting on the counter so he walked over to her desk and started opening drawers looking for an envelope. He opened a side drawer and he felt his heart skip a beat. There laying on top of take out menus and a phone book laid a picture of him and Erin.

It was from the day their undercover mission had began. Just as they were boarding the boat staff from the cruise ship had hounded them to get a picture taken. So sticking with their alias they did.

Jay picked the picture up to get a better look at it. He and Erin were standing chest to chest looking at the camera. Her head was under his chin and her hand on his chest showing off his mother's ring. His arms wrapped around her, holding her tight against him. Both of them were smiling as they looked at the camera. Looking every bit the newlywed part.

Jay didn't know when she'd bought it. He'd forgotten all about the picture until he'd opened the drawer. He placed it back into the drawer and grabbed a piece of paper and an envelope and walked back to the counter

Jay grabbed a pen off of the counter and looked at the paper and began to write.

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"And that's why "Molly's Two" is still on the search for a chef" Kelly and Erin laughed as he finished his story.

Erin sighed as she took a drink of her water. She noticed the band on Kelly's hand and exhaled. "So, tell me about her"

Kelly looked down at his hand and said "Oh, Brittany? She's something special"

Erin nodded as she looked at Kelly. "You know that there's a pool at the precinct on how long you two are going to last"

Kelly shook his head "One down there too? Jeez. I guess you got in on that action"

Erin shook her head "No, I don't really think I'm in the place to make bets on anybody's relationship"

Kelly nodded and looked at Erin before reaching over and placing his hand on top of hers. "Is there a problem with Halstead?"

Erin shook her head "Yeah, me"

Kelly furrowed his brow as he looked at Erin "What do you mean?"

Erin shook her head "Just what I said. I'm the problem. Jay's just too blind to see it"

Kelly squeezed Erin's hand and kept his eyes on her. "Erin, that's not true. You're pretty great. In fact you're amazing. Halstead should be so lucky to have you. I don't know why anyone would want to let you go"

"Why did you?" Erin asked "I mean you sit there and say that to me, but you let me go"

Kelly sighed and let go of Erin's hand "And I regret it every day. But Erin, I couldn't give you what I knew you needed. I wasn't in a place that I was ready for someone like you. And you deserve more than just a physical relationship with someone. You need the emotional support too. The stuff that I'm not that good at. The stuff that makes the physical stuff that much better...and deep down, I know that I didn't have your heart. Even then I didn't. Deep down you know that too"

Erin looked down at the table "I said some really horrible things to him, Kelly"

Severide nodded and reached his hand back over to Erin's "He'll forgive you"

Erin shook her head "I don't..."

Kelly squeezed Erin's hand "He'll forgive you. I'm sure that he already has"

Erin nodded and looked at Kelly. She didn't know why she couldn't tell a therapist about Jay, but had no problem talking to her ex about him. "What are you doing here, Kelly? I mean this isn't exactly the place that I'd expect to see you"

Kelly exhaled and let go of Erin's hand. "I kind of figured you'd ask me that"

"Well, I know you and I know there's other places you'd be on a Sunday afternoon" Erin raised an eyebrow and took another drink of her water.

Kelly sighed and thought for a minute "I come once a month to talk about Shay"

Erin nodded and reached across the table for Kelly's hand. She felt like it was her turn to be supportive now. "I'm sorry"

Severide nodded "Sometimes, it's easier to talk to someone from the outside looking in. I miss Shay, so much. She was my best friend. A loss like that is hard to handle on your own and I come and see Dr. Jackson and she lets me talk"

"Dr. Jackson?" Erin said

"Yeah, she works down the hall. She's pretty easy on the eyes, too. So it's easy for the feels to come out" Kelly joked and smiled when he saw Erin laugh and roll her eyes. "Who is it you're having your sessions with?"

Erin sighed and shrugged her shoulders "I don't remember his name. I think it's Dr. Soloman...Stevens..."

"Dr. Sullivan. I know him. He's a good doctor. Maybe you should stick with him" Kelly suggested.

"Oh, I don't know about that. I'm only here because Voight won't let me come back without doing a 72 hour stay" Erin said sadly the hurt was still there from Voight doing this to her.

Kelly looked down at his watch. "I have to go. I have to be at work soon. But Erin, you should really consider keeping in touch with Dr. Sullivan. I'm sure he'd do you some good"

Erin nodded as Kelly stood up and she in turn stood. "Thanks for staying and talking to me"

Kelly smiled "You're welcome"

Erin and Severide stood in silence for a few moments. Kelly pulled Erin into a hug and she sighed into his embrace "Take care of yourself, Lindsay. I expect and invite when Halstead finally wears you down and you marry him"

Erin smiled at the thought of marrying Jay. "I'll keep you in mind"

Severide pulled back and hugged Erin one last time before leaving.

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Hope you guys liked this chapter. Too much Severide? More? Never Again? Don't be too mad at me for putting him in. I promise some Erin and Jay interaction soon. If you have any ideas on what you'd like to see happen between them, just drop it in a review. Enjoy your Saturday!


	16. She Will Be Loved

**I don't know what to say, I wasn't expecting that kind of feedback from this last chapter. Thank You! I can't say it enough. This story is my baby, and writing is such an escape. I'm sure the ones of you who write know that. Plus, 16 days until a new Chicago PD is horrible. I know that Thanksgiving is coming up and all, but poop, that's soooo far. **

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_"This is going to be so yummy, Teddy" Six year old Erin explained to her baby brother who was sitting in his high chair watching her. _

_Erin was currently standing on a chair that she'd pushed up to the stove. She looked down in the pot of Spaghettios and turned spun them with a serving spoon. "I love Spaghettios" _

_Teddy sat in his high chair and took a Cheerio and plopped it in his mouth as he watched his big sister cook._

_A knock on the door took Erin's attention away from the stove and over to the trailer door. Erin turned the stove down and climbed off of the chair. She walked over to the window and peeked out of the blinds. She saw a man in a police uniform at the door. They'd learned about policemen at school a few days ago. "Policemen are nice" she said to herself._

_Erin walked over to the door and unlocked it and opened it. To reveal the officer standing at the door. _

_"Well hello" The policeman said._

_"Hi" Erin said looking up at the man._

_"Is your mommy or daddy here?" The policeman asked._

_Erin knew the answer was no. But she didn't want to get her mommy and daddy in trouble. Cause if they got in trouble, then they'd be mad at her and then she'd be in trouble. _

_"Yes. My mommy is, but she's sleeping" Erin lied she looked down at her bare feet and then up at the policeman again._

_"Well, what's your name?" The policeman asked._

_"Erin Kathleen Lindsay" Erin replied proudly. "I learned to write it at school" _

_"Oh wow, I bet you're very smart aren't you?" The policeman said._

_Erin smiled. Her dimples on full display along with a few missing baby teeth. "I am. I'm in kindergarten" _

_"You are VERY smart then" _The policeman said.

_He heard the coos of a baby in the kitchen and lifted his gaze from the little girl to the infant. _

_"Is that your brother?" The policeman asked._

_Erin nodded and pointed over to the kitchen "Yes, his name is Teddy" _

_The policeman nodded and reached down until he was eye level with Erin. He sighed as he looked at the little girl in front of him. "Erin, do you know how to use a phone? If you need to call someone for anything" _

_Erin nodded. "I'm not supposed to use a phone though. My mommy and daddy say it's not a toy" _

_The policeman nodded 'They're very right. But, it's not a toy if you need help. Do you know how to call 911?" _

_Erin sighed a dramatic six year old sigh. "Yes, I learned at school when the firefighters came to visit" _

_The policeman nodded and reached into his pocket. "Well, Erin. My name is Officer Hank Voight. If you need help, then I want you to call this number, okay?" _

_Erin took the card from the policeman and nodded. "I can give it to my mommy" _

_Officer Voight shook his head. "How about you just keep it. It can be your and my secret" _

_Erin's eyes lit up, "A secret? I've never had a secret before" _

_Officer Voight smiled and said "Well, you have your first secret. And your first friend" _

_Erin smiled and held onto the card. "Thanks" _

_Officer Voight stood up and said "Don't forget, Erin. If you need me. You call that number" _

_Erin nodded and waved bye to Officer Voight and shut the door._

_Erin walked back over to Teddy and showed him the card. "He was nice, Teddy" _

_Teddy took the card from Erin and brought it up to his mouth._

_"No no, Teddy. We don't eat paper. You're so silly" Erin laughed and took the card from her brother and went back to the chair and climbed on top of it to finish making her and her brother some dinner._

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Hank Voight stood in the doorway of Erin's room as he watched her finish packing. He knew she probably had no memory of the first time that he'd truly met her.

"Are you hungry, kid?" Voight asked as he stepped in to help Erin with her bags.

Erin shrugged her shoulders. "I think I just want to go back to my apartment"

Voight nodded and pulled Erin's bag up over his shoulder. "You really need to eat something"

Erin exhaled and turned to look at Voight. "I'm fine, I just don't really feel like eating...but you've never listened to me before, so let's just go eat"

Voight dropped Erin's bag off his shoulder "Listen kid, I know that you're still pissed at me. That's fine. But you need to talk to me like an adult and not some pissed off teenager"

Erin sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I did my 72 hour stay. I'd like to talk about coming back to work"

Voight shook his head and bent down to pick up Erin's bag. "We will talk about it when I think you're ready to come back"

"Are you kidding me?!" Erin asked spinning around "I did what you asked. I just want to come back to work and get back on the street. Why is that asking so much?"

Voight raised his hand and said "Considering the fact that you can't go 30 seconds without having an outburst, I think I've made a point"

Erin picked up her paperwork "You're one to talk about outbursts, Voight. I think your career of taking people to the cage and being left alone with criminals in a holding cell says a lot about your character"

Erin walked past Voight and reached out and grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. "I'd like to remind you that I'm still your boss. You'll respect me. I know that you're mad at me for making you come here. I can live with that. But you're not going to come back to my unit, or any other unit until I say that you're ready. You keep saying you want to come back to work, that's fine. We will talk about it when you're adult enough to sit down and have a conversation and not stomping around on your chicken legs and slamming drawers and doors"

Erin jerked her arm away from Voight and pulled her sweater tighter around her. "I'm sorry"

Voight nodded and sighed "Let's go"

**0000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Jay sat at the bar at Molly's nursing his scotch. He looked over at Adam and Kim who were standing on the dance floor dancing to the song "Truly, Madly, Deeply" by Savage Garden

He thought it would be fun going out with the team for a drink, but he was wrong. He just wanted to go home. Home to Erin's apartment, not to his place.

"Can I buy you a drink?" A voice from behind Jay asked.

Jay turned on the stool and looked at the person behind him.

"Maddie?" Jay said standing up from his stool. "How have you been?"

"I've been pretty good. Recovering from getting shot was a bitch...but I'm doing ok" Maddie smiled at Jay and stepped towards him and pulled him into a hug.

Jay wrapped his arms around the former bartender of Molly's. Memories of her getting shot when he had the bounty on his head came flooding back to him."It's good to see you"

Maddie smiled and pulled away from Jay. "So, can I buy you that drink now? I mean I did take a bullet for you and all"

Jay nodded and gestured to the empty bar stool next to him. "One drink. Then I need to go"

**oooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Erin stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her naked form. She had to admit that Voight was right. They'd stopped for some dinner at "Steak and Shake" and she'd ate and that gave her the energy to take a hot shower and actually enjoy it. God, sometimes all you need is to get clean to feel better.

Erin walked out of her bathroom and into her bedroom. She grabbed her brush off of the dresser and started running it through her wet hair. She noticed the fading purple mark on her collarbone and she ran a finger over it and smiled sadly.

She figured Jay would go back to his place. After all, she'd told him to get out of her life. Of course he'd listen to her when she asked that, but ignored her when she asked him not to tell Hank about her panic attack. She still couldn't believe how empty this apartment felt without him. She missed him. She missed everything about him.

She missed him fighting with her over the remote over which late night Jimmy was better: Jimmy Fallon or Jimmy Kimmel, she missed how he'd sleep with one leg out of the blankets, she missed the way his Axe Body Wash smelled on the loofah in her shower that he claimed he "didn't use", she missed the way he'd run his hand through her hair while they'd lay in bed as she'd drift off to sleep.

Jay had done so much to help her since she'd come home from the hospital. He'd taken her to doctor's appointments, changed her bandages and drain tubes without batting an eyelash. Sure he'd made some questionable dinners and taken a little longer helping her get dressed after her showers than he probably needed to, but he'd never left her side.

Erin got dressed and went to the kitchen. God, she needed a drink.

She walked to the fridge and opened the door and pulled out a Smirnoff and she opened the top and turned to throw the bottle cap away.

And that's when she saw it.

The white envelope sitting on the coffee table in her living room. She walked over to it and saw "_Erin"_ written across the front

She knew the handwriting and she smiled sadly as she ran her hand across the front and she sat down on the couch and opened the letter. The small gold key fell out and Erin looked at it and laid it down next to her and pulled the letter out.

_Erin,_

_ I think the last time I wrote a letter I was in 5th grade asking Macy Jo Cameron if she liked me to circle "yes" or "no". That's a pretty big deal to a 10 year old. I thought I was in love at 10. But I was wrong. Sure, sharing packed lunches and pushing her on the swings at recess was in some aspect "love" but, It wasn't love. I didn't know love, not until I met you. I guess you're a lot like the adult version of Macy Jo, we share lunches, but instead of the swings, you drive me around in the car (Still not down with the house husband feeling). But what I've realized in the two months that I got to be Erin Lindsay's boyfriend is that you're even more spectacular than I ever knew. I love everything about you. Every. Single. Thing. Every freckle, every mood swing and every scar. __Strikingly beautiful, and equally unaware of it. Quick witted and strong willed. You possess the deep, soulful eyes of an artist, and a shy smile that regularly betrays the tough facade you do your best to keep up. You asked me at the Policeman's Ball if I believed in magic, the answer to that is yes. You're the magic in my life, Erin. I hope that one day you're able to forgive me for telling Voight about your panic attacks. I only did it to help you. Just promise me that you'll find what makes you happy. If it's me and I pray that it is, then I'll go to the ends of the Earth to make you happy. If it's someone else, that's great. I just want you to find what makes you happy. What makes you the person that me and everyone at the precinct love. I am running out of paper, but I could go on forever. Just know how much I love you. My friend, my girl, my Erin._

_Love,_

_Jay_

Erin folded the letter up and looked at the clock. It was still early. She was sure he'd be up. So she quickly went into the bedroom and threw on some sweats and grabbed her keys and left.

**00000000000000000000000**

"I think...I'm...drunk" Jay closed his eyes as Maddie helped him to the bed in his apartment.

Maddie laughed to herself as leaned into her as he sat on the bed. "I think just a little bit, Halstead"

Jay closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Maddie's middle and exhaled. "Erin..."

Maddie rolled her eyes and ran her hands through Jay's hair. "Jay, I'm Maddie...remember?"

Jay's head fell back as his drunken gaze tried to focus on the brunette standing in front of him. He laid back against the bed and rubbed his eyes. "Where's Erin?"

Maddie shrugged her shoulders "I don't know. Jay, you've asked me that same question all night"

Jay sat up on his elbows. The room was spinning so he closed his eyes as he spoke. "I...Need...To...See...Her"

Maddie knelt down and said "I'm sorry. But you're in no condition to do anything"

Jay took her Maddie's explanation and laid back onto his bed and fell asleep.

Maddie sighed and looked around Jay's apartment. She knelt down by the bed and started to untie Jay's shoes when a knock at the door startled her. She stood up and looked at Jay who was softly snoring.

Maddie walked over to the door and looked in the peephole before opening it.

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Erin held Jay's letter tight in her hand as she waited for the door to Jay's apartment to open. She smiled when she heard the lock flip and the door slowly open. Erin's smile slowly fell as she looked at the girl in front of her.

"Um...Hi" Maddie said leaning against Jay's door.

"Maddie, hi...how are you?" Erin asked.

"I'm ok. How are you, Erin?" Maddie asked.

Erin looked down at the floor. "I'm ok. Is Jay here?"

Maddie nodded. "Yeah, he's asleep though. He had a long night"

Erin nodded and stepped back away from the door.

"Do you want to come in?" Maddie asked.

Erin shook her head "No...I'm sorry. I should've called first"

Maddie nodded "Do you want me to give Jay a message?"

Erin shook her head again "No...no message. Have a nice night"

"You too" Maddie said closing the door.

Erin let go of the strangled sob she'd been holding in. She walked to the elevator and pressed the down button. The letter she held in her hand falling from her hand and floating down to the wood floor at her feet.


	17. All of Me Loves All of You

**Thanks for the reviews! I know I say it every chapter but I do appreciate them. Since I probably won't get to update for a few days, this one is going to be kind of longer. If you are celebrating Thanksgiving tomorrow, then I hope that it's a very blessed day. If you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, I still hope that you have a blessed day. If you're going Black Friday shopping...God's Speed and "May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favor.**

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The sound of the blender running woke Jay from his sleep. He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut as the dull ache in his head made itself known.

"Good morning, sleepy head" Maddie said

Jay's eyes opened and he sat up on his bed. He saw Maddie standing in his kitchen still dressed in her clothes from last night. Jay looked down and saw that he was still dressed in what he'd worn the night before.

"Morning" Jay said getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen.

"I made you this" Maddie said pouring a glass of liquid from the blender and into a cup before handing it to Jay.

Jay looked down at the green liquid and smelled it before frowning. "What is it?"

Maddie shrugged her shoulders. "Just a little hangover cure, you pick up a few things from bartending...try it, you'll like it"

Jay sighed and took a drink. It wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. "It's not that bad"

Maddie smiled "I told you so. I went and got your paper this morning. I sat it on your table"

"Thanks" Jay said and he walked over to the table and saw a piece of folded up paper laying on the coffee table in front of his couch. He bent down to pick it up and unfolded it.

All he saw was "_Erin" _across the top of the letter and the drink he was holding fell from his hand and onto the floor.

The sound of glass shattering tore Maddie's gaze from the sink and over to where Jay was standing. She smiled and took a step towards him "Good job clumsy"

Maddie's smile fell when she saw Jay turn around holding the letter in his hands. "Where did this come from?"

Maddie shrugged her shoulders "I don't know"

"Where the hell did you find this?" Jay asked again raising his voice.

"I found it in the hall" Maddie said getting defensive. "She stopped by..."

"She what?" Jay said taking a step towards Maddie. "When?"

Maddie shurgged her shoulders again "I don't know. Last night...about 10"

Jay felt his heart racing "What did you do?"

Maddie shook her head "Nothing. I answered the door. She didn't want to stay"

"Shit" Jay exclaimed and grabbed his keys off the coffee table and went to put his shoes on.

"Where are you going?" Maddie asked.

"I've got to go see Erin" Jay said as he finished slipping his shoes on.

"Jay, no you don't. I'm sure that she's fine" Maddie said walking over to him.

"You don't understand Maddie" Jay said "You don't understand at all"

Maddie walked over and grabbed Jay by the arm. "Jay, just stay here with me. Forget about Erin"

Jay was about to respond when Maddie stood on her tip toes and crushed her lips against his.

Jay grabbed Maddie by the arms and gently pushed her away from him. "Maddie, you need to leave"

Maddie raised an eyebrow "Leave? I thought this was what you wanted. I thought you wanted me"

Jay shook his head "Maddie, at one time maybe. But this...I can't. You need to go...I have to go"

Maddie folded her arms over herself and looked at Jay. "You two will never work"

Jay ignored Maddie and walked out of his apartment leaving Maddie standing in the living room alone.

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Erin sat in Dr. Sullivan's office. Last night's events played through her mind. She expected to be mad at Jay, mad at Maddie, mad at the world. But she wasn't. If anything, she was numb. Numb to it all.

Her phone went off. She heard Jay's ringtone "Cop Car" by Keith Urban playing from inside her purse. Erin thought about answering it but decided not to. She'd deal with this later. The door to Dr. Sullivan's office opened and he walked in.

"Erin, I have to say. I'm really proud of you for coming in on your own will" Dr. Sullivan shook Erin's hand and sat down at his desk. "May I ask what changed your mind?"

Erin shrugged her shoulders. "I just had some advice from a friend"

Dr. Sullivan nodded. "So what would you like to talk about today?"

"I don't know" Erin shrugged her shoulders

"Should we talk about work?" Dr. Sullivan asked.

"Yeah" Erin said pulling her legs up under her on the couch.

"Do you see yourself always staying in intelligence?" Dr. Sullivan asked.

"Maybe. I don't really know. I love my job. Sometimes with certain cases, I wish there was more that I could do" Erin scratched the back of her neck subconsciously as she looked at Dr. Sullivan.

"More?" What do you mean?" Dr. Sullivan asked as he started making notes.

Erin shrugged her shoulders "I just mean that I'd like to see what it would be like to focus more on kids and them being victims of the crimes I see on a daily basis"

"You really care about kids don't you, Miss Lindsay?" Dr. Sullivan laid his pen down and looked over at Erin.

Erin nodded but didn't say anything.

"Do you want kids, Erin? Would you like to be a mother?" Dr. Sullivan sat back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest.

Erin thought for a minute. "I don't know. I've never really thought about it. I would like to. But, I don't know if I'd be a very good mother"

Dr. Sullivan nodded. "What makes you say that?"

Erin sighed and looked at her hands. Therapy is for the birds, that's for sure. "I didn't have the greatest example of parents. I don't want to ever put a child in that position. I'd hate to have a baby and not be able to give it the love it would deserve"

Dr. Sullivan picked up his pen and began to write again. "From what you've told me about taking care of your brother and taking care of the kids who you do rescue from crimes on a daily basis...I'd say you'd be an amazing mother if that's what you'd choose for yourself"

Erin nodded "People put you down enough, you start to believe it"

"I take it people have put you down a lot" Dr. Sullivan asked.

Erin nodded. "Something like that"

Dr. Sullivan nodded. "Well, I haven't known you very long. But I think that you're a very smart, driven and beautiful girl. You've got a lot of gifts that you should be sharing with the people who care about you"

Erin looked up at Dr. Sullivan "The bad stuff is easier to believe. Do you ever notice that?"

Dr. Sullivan nodded "That's because the brain handles positive and negative information in different hemispheres, Negative emotions generally involve more thinking, and the information is processed more thoroughly than positive information"

"Well how do we fix that?" Erin asked.

"Well, we're going to work on reprogramming your brain to believe the good things about yourself" Dr. Sullivan explained.

Erin laughed to herself. "Do you think I'm even fixable?"

Dr. Sullivan nodded "Miss. Lindsay, you're very fixable"

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Erin walked out of the clinic and went to the parking garage. Thunder rumbled in the distance and Erin looked up at the dark clouds that were rolling in. She tightened her sweater around her and walked up to her car and sighed when she saw Jay standing against it. Erin wasn't expecting to see him. That was for sure. But she had to face him sometime. She just thought it would be later.

Jay spotted Erin and watched as she walked the rest of the way over to him. He took a breath and looked at her.

"Hey" He said softly.

"Hey" Erin replied she looked everywhere but at Jay. She couldn't bring herself to look at him. Not yet.

"Erin, what you saw last night with Maddie..." Jay started.

Erin shook her head "You don't owe me an explanation. You're free to do what you want Jay. I don't expect you to sit and pine for me. You should be out doing what you want. With who you want. Don't let me stop you. Maddie seems like a good girl"

Jay held up his hand as an unspoken cue for Erin to stop talking. "If you'd please let me finish"

Erin pulled her sweater tighter around her and nodded.

"Nothing happened with me and Maddie. I swear to God on my life and on yours. I drank too much and I fell asleep. She slept on the couch and that is it" Jay assured

Erin nodded and looked at Jay. "I know that I said some really bad things to you and I am sorry for that"

Jay shook his head "Er, don't worry about it. It's fine. I've said some not nice stuff to you before. We've all been there"

Erin shrugged her shoulders "Yeah...but you were only trying to help me and I didn't make it easy on you"

Jay took a step towards Erin "Do you think that we could go back to your apartment and talk?"

Erin lifted her gaze to Jay's and nodded "Yeah, you can follow me there"

Jay nodded and watched as Erin walked past him and got into his car and followed her.

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The rainstorm had hit downtown Chicago in full force. Erin and Jay walked around her apartment lighting candles just in case the power were to go off. The sound of the weatherman talking on the tv about how everyone should stay indoors and avoid travel if possible filled the silence as the two finished lighting candles.

"I think we're good to go" Jay said standing back.

"It's really a mix of smells in here now" Erin said stepping back from the counter where she'd lit the last candle.

"Yeah, who knew that you were such a Yankee Candle hoarder" Jay said looking around the living room at the various candles that filled the apartment. "Not really liking the smells that are mixing around in here...Kinda smells like we're baking cookies in a forest"

"Yeah...I don't really think they're meant to burn all at once" Erin sighed and went to sit down on the couch.

Jay followed and took a seat next to her. The two sat in silence for a few minutes watching the news and listening to the storm outside.

"How's your therapy going?" Jay asked.

Erin turned her head and looked at him. "It's ok I guess. I don't really like talking about such personal stuff. It just makes me feel weird telling a stranger things that even I don't like talking about"

"Like what?" Jay asked.

"Mostly about not feeling like I'm not worthy of love" Erin said looking down at the floor.

Jay frowned and he looked at her "Erin, I wish that you could see yourself the way that everyone else sees you"

Erin shrugged her shoulders. "How do you see me?"

Jay looked at Erin for a minute before reaching down and pulling her legs up onto his lap on the couch. "You want to know how I see you?"

Erin nodded and looked at him "Yes"

Jay cleared his throat and adjusted his position on the couch so that he was sitting at Erin's bare feet. Erin started to feel self conscious and instinctively started to pull her legs up to her.

Jay shook his head and grabbed her ankles and pulled them back down to him"I want to look at you."

Erin watched him through half lidded eyes as he ran his fingers along every line and curve on her body. "You are so beautiful," he whispered. "Every single part of you is beautiful." Erin's breathing became labored as he went over her body again, and she fought an internal battle to allow him to continue his investigations. "Your feet are so elegant, I loved watching your toes curl when we'd make love." Erin closed her eyes and let the heat of his words wash over her. His hand moved upward along her calf. "Your legs are long and sensual; your skin feels like silk." His fingers came to rest on her hips. "Your hips are incredible. My hands fit there perfectly when we dance."

He continued to her stomach. "This is my favorite spot. It's smooth and tight, and sensitive when I touch it just right." Erin whimpered as he circled her belly button and wriggled on the couch, looking for more. Jay smiled and trailed the porcelain line of skin that peeked out from under her shirt and ran down from her belly button. "This is the part that will one day give our children life, and protect them as they grow." Tears of happiness and frustration spilled from Erin's eyes but she made no move to brush them away. "This," he trailed his fingers to her breasts over her shirt. "These fit perfectly into my hands when we'd make love"

Jay ran his hands across and took ahold of her arms "These arms have held scared and abused kids, held me, given strength and love when people have needed it. These shoulders have held the weight of the world, carried the people you love through the hard times and remained strong enough to do it again."

He ran his hands along her face. "This mouth has comforted me, kissed me, brought me pleasure and spoken the greatest words I have ever heard. And these eyes," he traced the outline of her closed eyes with his thumbs. "These eyes have smiled, cried, laughed and shown me more love than words could ever say." Erin stopped him then, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

"I love you Jay" Erin.

Jay smiled down at her and ran his hand across her cheek "I love you, too"

The power flickering off caused Jay's gaze to lift from Erin's. He nuzzled his nose against hers and stood up from the couch and walked over to the windows to look at the dark city below. Only lit up by flashes of lightening.

He walked back over to Erin and sat beside her again, his eyes scanning her face, drinking in her beauty in the candlelight. Erin reached up and started unbuttoning her shirt but Jay reached his hand out and stopped her.

"Let me, love."

Erin dropped her hands and tilted her head back, her body shivering as his soft fingers brushed against her skin. Once he had the entire shirt unbuttoned, Jay slipped it down her arms and tossed it to the side. His eyes hungrily drank in the sight of her.

"Jay," Erin moaned as her head lifted and she looked at him, her eyes again dark and heavy lidded with desire. She reached over and grabbed the hem of his shirt, sliding it up his body. Jay lifted his arms and let her slide it over his head.

Erin tossed it in the same direction as her shirt before she reached out and pulled the snap on his jeans. Jay leaned back slightly and let her unzip him, his hips bucking as she deliberately brushed against his throbbing cock in the process. She tugged gently on his jeans and he lifted his hips in an attempt to help her divest him of his clothes. She left his boxers on and his cock twitched against the cotton fabric as she pulled his jeans off.

She reached up to cup him through his boxers and Jay took her hand, pulling it away from his aching flesh. She looked up at him, surprise coloring her features and he smiled as he sat up again.

"I want this to last. If you do that, it'll be over in seconds." Jay clamped his lips gently on her shoulder as he urged her to lay back again. "Besides, you're not naked yet. That's not exactly fair."

Jay unbuttoned her pants and slid them down her long legs, his cock hardening even more as each inch of her flesh was revealed.

"You might not think that once you've really taken a look at my scars." She tried to mask the worry in her voice, hoping her teasing tone accomplished it, but Jay heard her loud and clear.

Jay sighed and stood up off of the couch and pulled Erin by the hand and walking into her bedroom. He ran a hand over her cheek and gently pushed her back until she was laying on the bed.

He bent over her body and pressed soft kisses across her abdomen, letting his lips brush over each of the marks that were still fading. Erin slid her hands into his hair and sighed as his lips brushed over her body.

"You're so beautiful, Erin. I don't know how you don't believe me" Jay ran his tongue along the top edge of her panties before his fingers dipped into the sides and pulled them down her desire to bury his face in her core was overwhelming, but he resisted. He would get to that in good time. But right now he just needed to show this girl how beautiful he thought she really was.

His fingers caressed the insides of her thighs softly and her body arched toward him in response. "Every part of you is breathtaking, Erin. These scars will fade and even if they don't, I look at them and I only see what a fighter that you are. How strong you are. I see how much you've overcome. You see these as a sign of weakness? No baby, they're a sign of strength"

His fingers gently floated over her abdomen and traced the lines. The love she saw in his eyes as he did that made her breath catch in her throat. She saw herself through his eyes and it amazed and awed her. He leaned over with one knee between her thighs and kissed her abdomen again before making his way upward slowly, with open mouthed kisses, over her skin. He reached the underside of her breast and he slid his tongue along the length of her bra.

"Not very sexy, I'm afraid," she murmured above him, referring to her simple white bra. He lifted his head and smirked as his hands slid around her body, blindly reaching for the clasps.

"You have no idea how sexy it is, Erin." Jay removed her bra lovingly, His hands slowly running over her breasts.

A soft sound escaped Erin's lips and she felt a rush of warmth flood her core as her body reacted to the ministrations of his hands.

Jay kissed a gentle path across her chest and collarbone. Erin arched her back, silently begging him for more and he obliged her as his cock twitched against her thigh. The throbbing between her thighs was growing to an unbearable ache and Erin wasn't sure how much longer she'd be able to wait to finally feel him inside her again.

Erin reached one hand down and slid her fingers into his boxers, cupping him in her small palm. He groaned as his hips jerked and he pressed himself further into her hand. She stroked him slowly and firmly, the way she knew he liked, letting the silky liquid at his tip coat her palm with each upward stroke. Jay bit her neck softly in response and Erin's hips arched off the floor as an unexpected orgasm ripped through her body.

Jay lifted his head, a surprised look on his face as he looked down at her flushed face. Her eyes were clenched shut and her mouth was formed into a small "o" as her body continued to jerk beneath him. He lifted his hand to her cheek and cupped it gently in his palm, his thumb softly caressing the skin just beneath her eye.

Erin opened her eyes and smiled at him, almost embarrassed at her body's reaction.

"Wow," Jay whispered, letting her know how thrilled he was at her reaction and Erin sighed contentedly.

Her fingers never ceased their motions and Jay's large body shook above hers as she brought him closer and closer to the edge. He reached down and stopped her hand, the action almost killing him. But he intended to be inside her when he came.

Erin knew without him saying a word what he wanted and she removed her hands from the slit in front of his boxers. Using both her hands, she pushed them over his hips and Jay sat back as he took over for her and pushed them down his legs and off his body. There was nothing between them any longer.

Erin held her hand out to him, her eyes shining with the love and anticipation she was feeling. He moved between her thighs, his hands supporting his weight on either side of her torso. Neither one of them wanted to wait another minute. They'd waited long enough.

So Jay settled the tip of his cock at her entrance, rubbing it along the length of her folds, letting her coat him as he looked deeply into her eyes.

"Jay, please," Erin begged softly as her hips arched, trying to capture him, her body desperately needing the hard weight of him. Jay lowered his head and ran his tongue along her bottom lip and she opened her mouth, inviting him inside. 

"I love you," he whispered against her lips before he slid his tongue and his cock inside her simultaneously. Her walls gripped him just as tightly as she always had and his eyes rolled back behind his eyelids. He deepened the kiss, letting his tongue sweep along the inside her of her mouth as his hips came to a stop against her pubic bone. He held still for a moment, savoring the feeling of having her wrapped completely around him again and he realized that this was what he lived for. The girl he lived for. The girl he'd lay down his own life for.

Erin gasped softly into his mouth and she tilted her hips as her body accepted him and adjusted to him again she pulled his mouth away from hers and opened her eyes to look up at him.

His eyes fluttered open and he looked down at her, his eyes dark and filled with something close to agony. But she recognized that agony immediately. It was the look he got when he was trying desperately to not move. When he wanted to savor the feeling of her around him but his will to move was overpowering him.

She clenched her muscles around him and Jay gasped and then groaned as his eyes slammed closed again. Unable to take the sweet torture any longer, he pulled almost all the way out of her before he slid smoothly back into her welcoming heat. Erin raised her knees and placed her feet on the bed as her arms encircled him in her embrace. Jay buried his face in her neck, his teeth sinking gently into the skin of her throat as he continued to move inside her, gathering speed and force with each thrust.

"You feel so good Er," he murmured against her skin as his tongue slipped out to sooth the mark he'd left on her tender skin.

Erin moaned his name, the only word she was able to form coherently as her body continued to get lost in the sensations his invading cock was producing. She titled her hips so that his shaft slid along her clit each time he slid into her. Jay slid his hand down her body to her hip and held her against him as he plunged into her heat over and over again. Erin kissed every inch of his head and face as he sucked on the warm skin of her throat. Finally, needing to kiss him, Erin pulled his lips to hers and slid her tongue into his mouth.

Jay moaned and his hips sped up as he felt that familiar tingling starting in his balls. His hand was slowly sliding to the juncture of her thighs, when her whole body arched off the floor and her walls clamped down around him like a vise.

"Jay," Erin pulled her lips away from his and screamed his name as her climax traveled up her legs and slammed into her core like a freight train. Jay watched her face and continued to thrust, harder and deeper as she road out the wave of her orgasm and he clenched his teeth, holding back his own release until he was sure she was finished. .

As her hips dropped back onto the blanket, Jay thrust one last time, before his cock exploded inside her. It felt so good that it was almost painful. Jay covered her lips with his own and kissed her mindlessly, losing himself inside her like he always did.

He collapsed on top of her and they both struggled to catch their breath between kisses. Despite the lack of air, neither one was willing to stop kissing the other. Temporary paralysis was something Jay would've worried about if he'd been able to worry about anything at that moment

Erin wrapped her arms around him lovingly as her fingers trailed up and down his sweat slicked back, urging his still quaking body to calm. They continued to kiss softly, the urgency of a few minutes earlier gone as their soft meeting of lips and tongue expressed their love more effectively than if any words were spoken.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, their lips parted and Jay slipped from her body, rolling them onto their sides. He cradled her against his chest and nuzzled her neck softly. They lay content in each other's arms, no words needed, for a long time. When Erin began to shiver, Jay leaned over and pulled the blanket over her body.

Erin raised her hand and ran her thumb over Jay's eyebrow. "I love you"

Jay turned his head and kissed Erin's wrist. "I love you too, Erin. So much"

Erin smiled "Just don't leave me. I know it's going take time...But I'll get back to me"

Jay's gaze never left Erin's "Baby, I'm not going anywhere. Whatever you need. As long as it takes. I'm all in"

"All in" Erin repeated and she tilted her head up and kissed him.

Jay sighed into her mouth, silently agreeing with her as he wrapped his arms around her again. There was nothing more fulfilling than sharing your soul with another person and Jay knew the woman in his arms would have his soul for the rest of his life. And there was nothing more in the world he wanted than that.

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**I happened to catch "Chicago Fire" last night because Jesse was on it. If any of you don't watch "Chicago Fire" I'll just break the news. SPOILER IF YOU DO WATCH AND HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET... Brittany left Kelly...Now, I don't know if it's for good or not. But, I hope it's not some beacon back to Erin. Cause if it is, I'm already calling some serious Bull Shit. I just have flashbacks of all those years I shipped Brooke and Lucas on "One Tree Hill" and what a disappointment that was (I'm still blaming you, Chad Michael Murray) Anyway, I hope that you guys liked this chapter. I know that some of you will probably think their reunion was rushed. But, they're going to take it slow. It'll be a process...Have a great holiday! **


	18. The Perfect Storm

**Thanks for all the reviews and the PM's you guys. I hope that you guys had a great weekend and if you celebrated Thanksgiving, I hope that you had a great holiday. I have worked so many hours in the last 5 days, that I don't know up from down, tired is an understatement right now. I hope that you guys like this chapter. It's been written in a state of deep exhaustion. lol**

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Jay's eyes fluttered open, he raised his hand up to rub his eyes. The early morning rays of the sun rising shown through the curtains and filled the darkness of Erin's bedroom. Jay felt Erin stir against him and he turned his head to look down at her.

Erin's arm was draped across Jay's chest. Her head nuzzled under his chin as she slept. Jay kissed the top of her head and ran his arm up and down her bare back.

Erin shifted in her sleep and her eyes slowly opened. She tilted her head back and her gaze met Jay's. "Hey"

Jay smiled and looked down at her "Good morning"

"Good morning" Erin replied. Sleepiness still coating her voice.

Jay smiled and ran his hand over her cheek before lifting his head to kiss her. After a few seconds he pulled away and kissed her forehead and laid his head back down on the pillow.

"What time is it?" Erin asked holding her comforter against her as she sat up and ran a hand through her hair.

Jay sighed as Erin sat up. The lack of her body heat made the chill of the room spread across his bare chest. "It's 5:45. I have to get up and start getting ready for work. Voight wants us to at the precinct at 7:30 for a meeting"

Erin looked back over her shoulder at Jay who was still laying back against the pillows. "What's the meeting about?"

Jay ran his hand over the stubble on his face and yawned. "I don't know all the details yet, but there's a suspected sex offender who's been messaging girls from a few of the high schools in town. So Voight wants us to meet and go over the case"

Erin nodded and turned her head back to the front. She wanted to go back to work. She hated sitting around her apartment not doing anything. It made her feel worthless. She should be out there helping her team catch people like this "alleged sex offender" not sitting in a room talking about her feelings or sitting in her apartment watching TV.

Jay's hand running down her bare back drew her out of her thoughts. "Hey, you ok?"

Erin turned her head back and looked at Jay and forced a smile. "Yeah...yeah...I'm fine"

"Come here" Jay said running his hand up her back and to her arm.

Erin turned her head to look at him. Jay grasped Erin's arm and gently pulled her back to him. Erin held her blankets against her chest and twisted so she was laying against him.

Jay wrapped his arm around Erin's bare back and brought his other hand up and brushed her hair across her forehead. "Tell me what's wrong"

Erin shook her head "Nothing"

Jay shook his head "Babe, you'll be back to work soon enough. Just take the time to work on yourself"

Erin sighed and ran her hand down his chest and back up to his shoulder. "I just feel useless"

Jay sighed and raised an eyebrow "I think you're plenty useful in a lot of other departments"

Erin shook her head and laughed "I'm glad that you find some use for me now that I can't drive your ass around everywhere"

Jay frowned and tilted Erin's chin up to him "I'm pretty sure I've told you once or twice about that smart mouth and all the other things you could be doing with it instead of trying to bust my balls"

Erin raised her eyebrow "There's a joke there. But I'm too much of a lady to tell it"

Jay smiled and shook his head "I've seen you down a glass of Scotch without stopping...but if "Lady" is the word you want to go with..."

Erin ran her hand up across Jay's stubbled cheek. "You're just jealous because I can drink you and the rest of the unit under the table"

Jay rubbed his nose against Erin's "That's my girl"

Erin smiled and leaned down and pressed her lips to Jay's. Jay ran his hand across Erin's cheek and rolled them both over deepening the kiss.

Erin laughed against Jay's mouth as they kissed and she ran her hands down his bare back.

Jay moved his lips from Erin's and down her jaw to her neck. He groaned when Erin turned her head to give him better access to her neck. Erin raised her head off the pillows to place a kiss on Jay's shoulder.

The sound of the alarm clock going off caused Jay to curse against Erin's neck. Erin turned her head as Jay raised his head from her neck.

"Have I mentioned I have a few sick days that I haven't used?" Jay asked nuzzling his nose against Erin's.

Erin raised an eyebrow and ran her hand down Jay's back. "If you miss that meeting then Voight is going to bust my door down looking for you"

"So I guess that's how our relationship is now? You using me for my body"

Erin shrugged her shoulders "Pretty much"

"I guess we should probably break up then" Jay braced himself above Erin.

Erin looked up at Jay and sighed. "We probably should"

Jay sighed and looked over at the bedside clock "Well, we had a good run"

Erin ran her hands up Jay's chest and tilted her hips up into his. She smiled when Jay dropped his head down and groaned. "Something wrong?"

Jay raised his head and his gaze met Erin's. "Erin, you're about to activate the launch sequence and there's no coming back from that"

Erin laughed and kept her eyes on Jay "You're an idiot"

"Way to kick a man when he's down" Jay rolled his eyes and looked down at Erin.

Erin bit her lip and ran her hand up Jay's back. "Down? I thought we were just having a conversation about things coming "Up""

"Not fair" Jay said narrowing his eyes at the girl beneath him.

"Don't feel bad, I've heard it happens to a lot of guys" Erin bit back a smile as she kept her eyes on a less then amused Jay.

Jay frowned and kept his gaze on Erin. "There's that Erin Lindsay wit that always astounds me"

"I thought I had a lot of things that astound you..." Erin's gaze broke from Jay's and she pouted.

Jay looked down at Erin and lowered his head "Baby, you do"

Erin turned her head back to look at Jay "Well, I guess I could lean up and kiss you now"

Jay raised an eyebrow and kept his gaze on Erin's "That's an idea"

Erin smiled and ran her hand down from Jay's shoulder to his arm. "I thought you'd like that idea"

"I do" Jay said as he started to relax his arms. "But I could also come down there and..."

The sound of Erin's laughter filled the bedroom as Jay's hands found their way to her ribs and started to tickle her.

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Hank Voight stood in his office and popped another antacid into his mouth. The heartburn he'd had all day wasn't getting better. He'd already been through a half a bottle of Tums and the burning that radiated from his chest to his stomach wasn't letting up. He blamed it on the stress of work, cases like this always gave him heartburn.

A knock on the door tore Hank's focus from the file he was going over and up to the door to this office. "Yeah?"

The door opened and Alvin stepped in and closed the door behind him. "Here's the updated paperwork on Nick Cook that you asked for. It's the notes that Halstead and Atwater have sent so far"

"Thanks" Voight said taking the file from Olinsky.

"It looks like he's been living under different alias' in order to avoid registering on the sex offender list" Olinsky said taking a seat in the empty chair across from Voight's desk.

"We'll get him" Voight said looking over the file "Are Halstead and Atwater still on the stakeout?"

Olinsky nodded "Yeah. They just briefed with Antonio. Looks like Cook isn't going to make a move tonight"

Voight nodded and grabbed another Tums out of the container and popped it in his mouth.

"You ok?" Olinsky asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Get Halstead and Atwater back here. We've got enough for tonight" Voight said.

Olinsky stood up and walked out of the office to call Jay and Kevin back to the precinct.

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"Do you mind if we talk about you mother?" Dr. Sullivan asked Erin as he took a seat at his desk.

"My mom? Um, I don't...I don't know...What would you want me to say?" Erin asked as she twisted a charm on her bracelet.

"Anything you'd want to tell me. Good or bad" Dr. Sullivan said as he looked in his desk for a pen.

Erin pulled her feet up on the chair and thought for a few moments. "I don't have very many good memories of her from growing up. If you're trying to hear about some good ones, I'm sorry. They just don't exist. At least none that I can really remember. I mean if you count her patting me on the back saying she'd never shoot up again after I'd spend time cleaning up her vomit off the floor. Then I guess there's that"

Dr. Sullivan nodded "And your mom today?"

Erin sighed "She's still around. But I don't want to open that chapter in my life again. I can love her, but I would rather love her from afar"

"Would you ever be willing to invite her to one of our sessions?" Dr. Sullivan asked.

"No...Never" Erin shook her head quickly. A lock of her hair falling from the loose bun she'd worn and she quickly brushed it behind her ear.

Dr. Sullivan sighed and sat his pen down. "A lot of your anxiety comes from your mother. If you wouldn't feel comfortable doing a joint session with her then how about we do a separate session and I talk to you and her and then relay your sessions back to each other"

Erin shook her head "No. I don't want her to have any part in this"

"What about Hank Voight?" Would you be willing to do a joint session with him?" Dr. Sullivan asked.

"I don't know" Erin sighed

Joint sessions? Is this really what all these meetings are leading to? Erin didn't want to be here on her by herself, let alone bring from her daily life to see how screwed up she is.

Dr. Sullivan nodded. "Well, how about you think about it and let me know on the next session"

Erin nodded as she turned her head and looked out at the sun setting on the Chicago skyline. "I'll think about it"

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Jay and Kevin walked into the precinct and took their seats. Voight came out of his office a few moments later looking over his notes. "Good work tonight boys. We've got a lot of new leads on Cook and once we get some more paperwork sent up from Atlanta then we should have enough to issue a warrent"

"Search or Arrest?" Jay asked sitting back in his chair at his desk.

"Search for now" Voight answered.

"What about his phone records? DId the wireless carrier get the subpeona we sent for the phone and data records?" Atwater asked.

"We're still working on getting everything set up with the Wireless company. They're gathering up some ip addresses and are going to send his data and phone records in the morning" Voight looked back over the file. "That's all for tonight. I'd like to have a morning briefing at 8. The rest of the team will be here to get caught up on the details"

Jay and Kevin nodded and they both got up from their desks as Voight went back into his office.

"You wanna go to Molly's and grab a drink and catch up on game highlights?" Atwater asked as he slipped his coat on.

"Nah, not tonight man. I've got to get home to my girl. See how her therapy session went today" Jay said laying his wallet and keys down on his desk while he slipped his police vest off. "Maybe tomorrow night though"

Atwater nodded "Of course man, No worries. How's everything going with Lindsay...If you don't mind me asking"

Jay was quiet for a moment as he thought. "It's...a process. She is slowly getting back to herself. I think it's doing her some good to talk to someone who isn't one of us"

Atwater stretched and walked over to Jay's desk. "Do you have any idea when she'll be coming back to work?"

Jay shook his head "I don't know yet man. It's up to Voight. She'd come back tomorrow if he'd let her"

Atwater nodded in agreement "I don't doubt it. But you know Erin needs to lean to lean on all of us. Not just you. I know that you're her partner and you two are together. But,it doesn't mean you guys can't come to the rest of us with this kind of stuff. Believe me if I can listen to Ruzek and his problems with Burgess, then I can listen to you"

Jay laughed to himself and looked at Atwater "Trouble with Burgess and Ruzek?"

Atwater shook his head "Not that I really know of. I just don't like to hear things about my former partner that I never wanted to know. Things that I should never know. I have days when I can't even look Kim in the face"

Jay laughed as he and Atwater started walking to the steps to leave for the night.

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Erin sat on the couch in her apartment. She picked at the Lo Mein in her Chinese take out box and looked up at the clock on the wall. She thought for sure that Jay would have came back to her apartment. He'd told her he was coming when she'd talked to him after her therapy session this evening. She'd even driven across town to his favorite Chinese restaurant to pick them up some dinner.

"Maybe he's just running late" Erin said to herself as she twirled a fork full of Lo Mein onto her fork and plopped it into her mouth just as her cellphone rang.

Erin smiled as she heard "Cop Car" By Keith Urban fill the living room. That meant that Jay was FINALLY returning her call.

Erin grabbed her phone and slid her thumb across to answer it.

"Hey, where are you?" Erin asked.

Jay sighed and looked at his surroundings before he answered "I'm at the hospital"


	19. Stealing Cinderella

**Thanks for the reviews you guys! I hope that you're enjoying your weekend and whatever you're doing, I hope that it's bringing you joy. Hope that you enjoy this chapter. **

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Jay walked back into the ER after he'd finished talking to Erin. He gestured to the nurse at registration that he was ready to be buzzed back to the exam rooms. When the nurse hit the button to open the doors, Jay walked through.

He made his way down the corridor to the exam room that he was looking for and he opened the door. "Erin's on her way"

"I told you not to call her" Hank Voight said from his bed. "It's not that big of a deal"

Jay sighed and he walked over to the empty chair beside Voight's bed. "I wouldn't really call a mild heart attack "No big deal""

Jay sat down and looked at this phone "Besides, I don't think you'd want to deal with Erin if I didn't tell her"

"She doesn't need the stress of coming here" Voight said laying his head back against the pillows.

Hank wasn't sure if it was the Nitroglycerin tablets that the nurse had given him, or the pain meds that they'd put in his IV. But right now he was feeling pretty good for a man who'd just had a mild heart attack. In fact, he was feeling better than he had in a long time.

"You didn't need to come back in my office. I would've been fine" Hank said turning his head to look at Jay. "Why did you?"

"I needed to talk to you about something" Jay looked down at his shoes and away from Voight's gaze.

"What about?" Voight asked.

"It's not really the time to discuss it" Jay stumbled over his words as he kept his eyes on his feet.

"You're back with Erin aren't you?" Voight said simply.

Jay didn't need to answer. His silence spoke volumes. He didn't have to even look up to feel Hank Voight's gaze burning into him.

Hank sighed and laid his head back. "Halstead, let me ask you something. Do you think that this is good for Erin. This whole back and forth that you two do?"

Jay turned his gaze up to Voight laying on the bed and furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"

Voight cleared his throat and looked at Jay. "I think we need to have a little man to man chat. I'm asking you if YOU think that Erin is in a place where she's even ready to be in a relationship"

Jay nodded and kept his gaze on Voight. "Of course"

Hank shook his head and looked away from Jay "See, this is the problem Halstead. You are too distracted by the idea of Erin to really see what's going on in front of you"

Jay sighed and shook his head "I can't believe that after everything this is how it still is between us. I thought by now we'd have some kind of common ground or understanding"

"It's not about common ground, Jay. It's about the fact that I need to be about to trust that If Erin is going to be with you, that I can trust that you're going to take care of her. To know what it is that she wants and what it is that she needs" Voight kept his eyes on Jay as he spoke.

"I do. I know exactly what she needs" Jay assured.

Voight shook his head "Halstead, if you think that Erin is okay, then you're blinded by whatever feelings you have for her. Cause she's not fine, son. She needs help that you and I can't give her. As much as we both want to"

Jay looked away from Voight and ran a hand through his short hair. "What is it that I have to do to prove to you how much I love her? Protect her for a living? Did it. Save her life? Did it. Save your life? Just did it. I don't know what I have to do to win with you. If you don't want us working together, that's fine. I'll move to another district"

Hank shook his head "It's not about any ot that, Halstead"

"Then what is it?" Jay asked

"Halstead..." Voight started

"No...Tell me. I just find it funny that I'm good enough to be her partner and work with her every single day. I'm good enough to go undercover with her and save her life when she was dying right under my hands. But I'm not worthy of being her boyfriend...or her husband" Jay was pissed by this point. He didn't get what it was that made him not good enough for Erin in Voight's eyes.

"Did Erin ever tell you about how I met her?" Voight asked.

"What?" Jay asked raising an eyebrow at Hank.

Voight looked at Jay and repeated his question. "Did Erin ever tell you about when I first met her?"

"Yeah she was a teenager" Jay said folding his arms over himself

Voight shook his head "No, that's not the first time"

"What do you mean?" Jay asked.

"She was six. I was a lot like you Jay. When I first started out as a cop. Dealing with kids like Erin, who are basically raising themselves...it changes you" Voight turned his head to look out the window.

"She was six?" Jay asked sitting back in the hospital chair. His mind filled with thoughts of a six year old Erin, running and playing and happy.

Voight nodded and kept his gaze on the windows "Yeah, we'd gotten a call from Erin's school about some bruises that the teacher had seen on her. As with any case, we had to go investigate it. So they sent me. I knew when I pulled in the driveway that no adult was there. So, I go and knock on the door and a few seconds later this little girl answers the door. Four foot tall long chocolate brown hair and these beautiful brown eyes that had so much trust in them. She had this dress on that had Tinkerbell on it and was already so sassy"

Jay smiled as he thought of Erin as a kid. "Sassy? Who'd have ever guessed"

Voight nodded "I knelt down so I was level with her and I noticed that she had this bruise on the top of her collarbone and it went down under her dress and these faint lines that looked like hand prints around the top of her arms. I knew even at the age of six she was lying to me to protect her mom and dad"

"Did you arrest them?" Jay asked. He couldn't help but feel guilt and anger that he wasn't around to have protected Erin then.

Voight nodded. "After I went to the station, they filed the warrant and we went and got him. Of course he denied it"

"Then what happened?" Jay asked.

"The city dropped the charges. He went home and I got a call at 3:30 in the morning later that night that he'd come home drunk and that he'd put Erin in the hospital" Voight shook his head and kept his gaze on the windows.

"What did he do?" Jay asked. He swollowed hard. He didn't really want to hear the answer, but he needed to know.

Voight's breath shook as he looked back at Jay "He fractured some of her ribs, broke her arm. that scar...you know the one that's on her shoulder blade? That's from a lit cigarette that he'd burned her with"

Jay sat forward in his seat "What?"

Voight nodded "Yeah. I could've protected her. I should've protected her. I missed the chance when she was six and I wasn't going to miss it again. When she came to live with me before she turned 16 I knew that was my second chance to make her life right"

Jay sat back in his chair. "What does this have to do to me being with her? If anything you should know that I'd never hurt Erin...Nor would I let anyone hurt her"

"I know that. It's just..." Hank sighed

"What?" Jay asked

"I'm not ready to let her go. I know she's 28, but I look at her and I see that six year old little girl that I should've protected. It's a dangerous job we have, Halstead. And I know how she feels about you. If you marry her and something happens to you while you're on duty, do you not know what that would do to her?" Hank's voice trailed off as he looked away from Jay.

"Nothing's going to happen to me, Hank" Jay assured. He wasn't used to having these kinds of conversations with Voight. He wasn't really sure how to respond to his boss who was laying in the hospital bed next to him.

"I just want her taken care of, someone who's going to support her and her dreams, someone who is going to love her the way that I loved...love Cam..." Voight's voice broke as he thought about his late wife.

He missed her, God how he missed her.

"It's ok" Jay said putting a hand on Voight's shoulder.

Voight cleared his throat and shook his head and turned his head to look at Jay. "I'll kill you if you hurt her. Do you understand me? And if you ever raise a hand to her, God won't even be able to save you"

Jay nodded his head "Yes sir"

Hank was about to respond when the door to his room opened and Erin came in.

"What happened?" Erin asked walking up to the bed.

"Damndest thing, mild heart attack" Voight said throwing his hands up.

"What? How did this happen?" Erin sat down on the edge of Hank's bed.

Voight shrugged his shoulders "Just a lifetime of bad habits catching up with me"

"What are they going to do?" Erin asked her eyes moving from Voight to Jay who was still sitting in the chair next to Voight.

"They're going to take him up to the cath lab. Do an angioplasty and put a stint in if they need to" Jay answered.

Erin exhaled shakily and nodded as she looked back to Voight. "You ok?"

Voight nodded "I'm fine. It's going to take more than a heart issue to slow me down"

Erin's eyes welled with tears as she looked at Voight.

"Hey, none of that" Voight said "It can't be too serious or they'd already have me back there"

Erin took a deep breath and wiped the few tears as they slid down her cheeks.

Jay sat back in his seat as he watched the two of them. It was then he realized the kind of relationship that the two of them had. He always understood from day one that Erin and Hank had a close relationship, but it took seeing the two of them right now to really let it sink in for him. He was the man that Erin considered her father in every aspect of the word. And she was his daughter, maybe not by blood, but love.

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An hour later two nurses came to take Voight up to the cath lab for his angioplasty.

"You guys are welcome to wait in the cath lab waiting room" One of the nurses said as they released the brakes on Voight's hospital bed.

"How long will this take?" Erin asked the nurse.

"Once they start it will take anywhere from 45 minutes to three hours. It just depends on how much needs to be fixed" the nurse explained as they started to wheel Voight down the hallway.

"Okay" Erin nodded her eyes welling with tears for the second time that night.

"His vitals are really strong. So that's good news. And he's in the best place that he can be. We're going to take good care of him" The 2nd nurse assured as Erin and Jay followed behind them down the hallway.

Jay draped his arm over Erin's shoulder and pulled her to him as they walked down the hall to a set of double doors that led to the cath lab.

"Well, this is where we leave you" The nurse said as she stepped out of the way for Erin and Jay to come around and talk to Voight.

Erin stepped away from Jay and walked around to face Voight. "We'll be here when you get back"

Voight shook his head "It's late. You guys need to go home and get some sleep"

"We're staying" Jay said making his way behind Erin to face Voight.

"Don't think that you get to use my heart attack as a personal day, Halstead" Voight said looking from Erin to Jay.

"I'm off tomorrow" Jay said.

"Do you ever work?" Voight asked "Seems like you're always off these days"

"Well, if you'd let me and Erin partner back up then I'd have a more regular schedule" Jay shrugged his shoulders as if to make a point.

"Nice try, Halstead" Voight said.

"We'll see you back at your room" Jay reached down and gave Voight's shoulder a squeeze and stepped back so that Erin could talk to him.

Voight looked up at Erin and raised his hand to hers as Erin's eyes welled with fresh tears "I'm fine"

Erin nodded "You're my family"

Voight squeezed Erin's hand "Just about the best thing that ever happened to me"

Erin forced a smile as she squeezed his hand back. Hank's words were the same thing he'd said to her when she'd come back to his office after her run in with Bunny a few months back.

"It's about that time" the nurse said as she stepped back up to Voight's bed and pressed the button to open the double doors.

Voight gave Erin's hand one last squeeze and let go. She watched as they wheeled Voight down the hall until the double doors closed behind him. Erin turned around and came face to face with Jay. The tears she was fighting to keep from falling slid down her cheeks freely.

"Hey hey come here" Jay said pulling Erin into his arms.

Erin buried her face in Jay's chest and cried. She wrapped her arms around him and clung to him.

"Baby, it's ok" Jay soothed as he rubbed Erin's back as she cried into his chest.

"I don't know how much more I can take" Erin tightened her arms around Jay. Almost afraid that if she'd let loose of him, he'd leave her too.

"He's going to be just fine, Erin. They're going to take great care of him and he's going to be back to being a pain in our ass in no time" Jay assured as he kept rubbing Erin's back.

Erin pulled her head back and wiped her eyes. She looked down at Jay's shirt and saw her make up smeared acoss it "Oh no. Your shirt"

Jay looked down and ran his hand over the front of it "It's fine. No worries"

Erin nodded as she rested her head against Jay's chin and closed her eyes.

Jay placed a soft kiss of her forehead before pulling back "Let's go in the waiting room"

Erin nodded and followed Jay into the waiting room.

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An hour had past and there was still no word on Voight and his procedure. Jay and Erin were the only two in the waiting room and they'd taken a seat on the couch that was against the wall. The overhead lights in the waiting room had been turned off and the only light filling the room were from the table lamps from the other side of the waiting room and the TV that was currently playing an episode of "I Love Lucy"

Erin had slipped her shoes off and was curled up under her sweater her back resting against Jay's shoulder. She'd been texting Justin about Voight since he wasn't able to leave basic training to come to the hospital.

Every so often Jay would feel Erin's head droop forward as she'd start to nod off. He turned his head and looked at her. "Erin, baby get some sleep"

Erin shook her head and sat up. "I'm ok. I'll just go get me a coffee"

Jay felt Erin move to stand and he grabbed her gently by the hand. "No, get some sleep. If anything happens I'll wake you up"

Erin looked down at the ground and then at Jay before she sat back down on the couch and curled up next to him. Erin tucked her feet up on the couch and spread her sweater out over her as Jay raised his arm so that she could rest her head against his chest. Jay slowly traced his arm up and down Erin's shoulder and he soon felt her body relax as she fell into a slumber. He reached down to brush the hair off of her face and over her shoulder and that's when he saw the scar that Voight had been talking about earlier. It was small and faded...a perfect circle.

Jay felt his stomach turn for the girl laying in his arms. If only he'd been able to have protected her from her father. What kind of man does something like that to his own child? He couldn't help but think about if he and Erin had a family, what he'd do if someone ever hurt his child like that. There'd be no place for them to hide. No place that he wouldn't find the bastard and kill them.

Jay silently hoped that this would be the last bump in the road for Erin. He wanted her to get better, he needed her to get better so that they could truly look at starting a life together. And for her to get through, Hank Voight was going to have to pull through.

Hank's earlier conversation had been playing through Jay's mind all night. Had Voight's run on speech been the approval that Jay'd been looking for? Had Hank finally realized that Jay wasn't going anywhere? Did Voight now see that this was it. This is real, this is forever for Jay?

Jay hoped that it was, but even if it took him leaving to go to another unit, he'd never leave Erin. He was the man in her life to protect her now. He didn't care if it was from Erin's biological father, from Bunny or a criminal, the people who have hurt Erin weren't going to be in her life. He'd make sure of that.

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Hope that you guys liked this chapter. After today I am FINALLY off for a couple of days. HAPPY TIMES HAPPY DANCE so I'll try to get an update or two in on my days off. Since it's freezing where I live and supposed to snow, I don't think there will be too much of me leaving my house. lol. Please feel free to review if you'd like. Also, Chicago P.D. is FINALLY new this week. I've missed it so much. I'm not going to make it through the Winter Hiatus lol.


	20. Say It If It's Worth Saving Me

**Thanks for the reviews. Just watched the finale...more on that later.**

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Hank Voight felt a hand on his wrist. He opened his eyes and squinted as they adjusted to the light over his bed.

"Good morning" The nurse said smiling down at him before she looked up to check the monitor checking his vitals.

Voight swallowed and looked towards the window. It was still dark outside, so he figured it must still be late. "What time is it?"

The nurse pulled her glove back and looked at her watch. "It's 3am Mr. Voight. Is there anything I can get you?"

"I'd kill for a beer and a burger" Voight said turning his head back to the nurse he caught a glimpse of her badge and saw her name "Jamie"

"I can get you something to drink and maybe find you a little something to eat. However, beer and burgers are a thing of the past cause you my friend are on a cardiac diet" Jamie said looking at the lines that were connected to Hank's IV.

"A fate worse than death" Voight's raspy voice sighed as he turned his head and looked over at the couch.

On the small couch in his room laid Erin and Jay both asleep. Jay was reclined back in the corner of the couch, his head resting against the back of the couch as he slept. Erin laid across the small couch with the upper half of her body and her head laying across Jay's chest. Her arm draped over his chest. A large hospital blanket covered the both of them as they slept.

"They've been here all night" Jamie said. "They spent the majority of the night in the waiting room, but once you came back from the cath lab they came in here with you. You were pretty groggy from the sedatives, so they wanted to be here when you woke up"

Voight nodded "How long did everything take?"

"Your angioplasty?" Jamie asked "You were down there a little over two hours. They gave you four stents you had two blockages that were both 70% blocked and two that were 80% blocked"

"Do they know?" Voight asked gesturing over to Erin and Jay on the couch.

"Yes sir" Jamie said stepping away from the bed. "I'll be back with something for you to eat"

Voight looked at his IV and then over at the door as Jamie walked out.

The sound of the door opening caused Jay to stir in his sleep and his eyes fluttered open. He took a minute to regain his surroundings and he brought his hand up to rub his eyes. Careful not to wake Erin who stirred in her sleep and cuddled deeper into his chest.

Jay looked down at her and pulled the blanket up over her shoulders and he brushed the hair across her face and behind her ear.

"Are you trying to give me another heart attack, Halstead?" Voight asked his gaze not leaving the couch.

Jay's gaze rose from Erin to Voight on the bed. "How are you feeling?"

Voight shrugged his shoulder. "I'm alright"

Jay nodded and yawned. "They said everything went really well. You came out a little after midnight and they said you'd probably sleep the rest of the night"

Voight shrugged his shoulders and rubbed his tired eyes. "I was doing good until they decided to come in and poke and pick at me. I don't know how they expect people to recover and rest in a hospital when they're constantly waking you up every five minutes for the most pain in the ass reasons"

"You should try to get some sleep" Jay said yawning and laying his head back.

"You should take Erin home. She doesn't need to sleep here" Voight said turning his head back to the couch.

"I don't thnk she's going to go anywhere" Jay ran his hand down Erin's shoulder and arm and looked down at her.

"Take her home" Voight said.

Jay nodded and ran his hand up to Erin's shoulder and gently shook her. "Er, Erin..wake up"

Erin stirred in her sleep and opened her eyes. She rubbed her eyes and sat up. Erin's gaze caught Voight's and she stood up.

"Hey" She said walking over to his bed and wrapping her arms around his neck as she knelt down.

"Hey" Voight sighed as he felt Erin hug him. He wrapped his IV free arm around her back and hugged her.

"How are you feeling?' Erin asked taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"I told you. I'm fine, kid" Voight assured.

Erin nodded as she looked back over at Jay who was folding up the blanket that Nurse Jamie had given them earlier before turning back to Hank "I am just glad to see you"

Hank nodded "I'm going to be fine. It's you I'm worried about. Go home and get some sleep...you and Halstead both...you two need it"

"Are you sure?" Erin asked.

Voight nodded and looked at Erin and then over to the couch at Jay. "I'm sure. You both need to get some slep. You especially, Erin"

Erin felt Jay walk up behind her and she stood up from the bed.

"I'll go get the car. I'll meet you out front" Jay handed Erin her sweater and gave a quick nod to Voight before walking out of his room and out the door.

"I'll be back tomorrow after my appointment to see you" Erin said turning her gaze back to Hank.

"Halstead going with you to see Dr. Sullivan?" Voight asked.

Erin turned her head to give Jay a glance and then back at Hank. "Yeah. Dr. Sullivan wants to talk about my attack on the ship and since Jay was the one who saved me. He thinks it would benefit if Jay was there for the session"

"Are you ready for that?" Voight kept his gaze on Erin's and he watched her as she thought for a moment and nodded.

"Yeah...Yeah, I think that it'll be good for me" Erin repeated reassuring herself that this was a good decision.

Voight nodded and reached for Erin's hand and gave it a squeeze. "You'll be ok, kid"

Erin nodded "Sometimes I wonder"

Voight looked at Erin and shook his head "If you want to make this work with Halstead, you're going to have to let him all the way in, Erin. If losing Camille has taught me anything, it's if someone loves you, they love the good and the bad. Let him in"

"I'm just afraid if I do. He's going to realize that he can do better than me" Erin broke her gaze from Hank's and looked down at her hands.

Voight shook his head "I don't think there's anything you can do to turn Halstead away from you"

"Look at you trying to make me feel better" Erin forced a smile and ran her hands down the front of her leggings

"I saw the picture of you and Halstead from the cruise in your desk drawer. I wasn't snooping or anything, I was looking for your medical records so I could submit them to the clinic when you were admitted. You should frame it" Voight said.

Erin looked up at Voight and then at his IV. "I'm not sure what's in that, but maybe they should keep you on it"

Hank gave a gruff laugh "I learned a lot being married to Camille, I know that when you came to live with us that it wasn't an easy adjustment for you and I know that there were good days and that there were bad days. Some days we all loved each other, and other days we had to work at it. You never see the hard days in a photo but those are what get you from one happy photo to the next. I'm sorry the hand that you've been dealt Erin, if I could go back in time and make things right for you I would. In a heartbeat I would. But I'd like to think that you and Halstead have what it takes to work through your panic attacks and your trust issues. I see the way that Halstead loves you. The way that you two look at each other, I don't think you need anymore security than that sweetheart"

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"Erin are you sure about this?" Jay asked as he sat with Erin on the couch in Dr. Sullivan's office.

Jay looked over at Erin and saw how nervous she was. He reached over and placed a hand on her shaking leg. "Cause I can go wait outside if you don't feel comfortable with me here yet"

"I'm ok" Erin assured trying to convince both Jay and herself of the statement.

"I just don't want you to feel like you're forced into this. That's not what I want. God, I want to know what goes on in that mind of yours, but I can wait if I have to. You're more than worth the wait" Jay scooted closer to Erin on the couch and wrapped his arm over her shoulder.

Erin turned her head and looked at Jay "I guess I'm just afraid. I know that you see me a certain way and I feel like if I tell you these things, then you're going to shut me out"

Erin dropped her gaze from Jay's and turned her head away from him. She tensed and instantly relaxed when she felt Jay's fingers on her cheek and turn her head back to him.

"I told you I'm all in. I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to make you so happy. I can guarntee you that" Jay leaned his head up and kissed her.

Erin closed her eyes as Jay kissed her and she raised her hand to his cheek and deepened to kiss. Jay groaned softly against her mouth and he pulled back to take a breath and leaning over to kiss her again.

The sound of the door opening broke Erin and Jay apart. Dr. Sullivan walked in and walked over to the couch. "Erin it's nice to see you again. And you must be Jay. I've heard a lot about you" He smiled as he reached down and shook Jay's hand.

"That's me" Jay said shaking Dr. Sullivan's hand.

"Well, it's nice to meet you" Dr. Sullivan said walking over to his desk.

"You too" Jay said moving his hand to Erin's shoulder and rubbing his fingers across it.

"So Erin, where would you like to begin?" Dr. Sullivan asked getting his notes ready for the session.

Erin looked at Dr. Sullivan and then at Jay before looking out the window. "I don't know"

Dr. Sullivan looked up at Erin and Jay. "How about you tell Jay a story involving Hank Voight. Maybe it would benefit you both since it would involve a common person that you both know"

Erin nodded "I remember the night that he gave me his card"

Dr. Sullivan grabbed his pen and leaned forward on his desk "Ok. that's a good start"

Erin sighed and looked out the window "It was my 14th birthday. I'd been doing odd jobs for money to buy me this 5 CD changer CD player. I finally had enough money for it and a Kroger cake for me and Teddy. I woke up that morning and I remember that I had the money because after school I was going to go and get the cake and my CD player. I'd walked down the hall and my mom was standing in the kitchen with Teddy. And on the table was McDonalds breakfast. She'd went out and got pancakes and sausage patties. I know that's not a big deal to a lot of people, but if you knew my mom then you'd know that she rarely did things like this. So I go to sit down and my mom was actually on the road to getting clean, she'd been sober for maybe 2 weeks and I really thought things were getting better. So when she asked what I wanted to do for my birthday, I told her. She told me to give her the money and she'd go across town and get the cake and my CD player for me and another surprise while I was at school. Of course I fell for it. I came home after school and there she was passed out on the couch with a heroin vial on the floor. She'd spent all my money on junk"

Jay exhaled with disgust as he listened to Erin tell her story.

Erin glanced over at him before continuing her story "That was it for me. I left the trailer and at this point I'd started slowly running around with Charlie and his friends and I went to meet up with them. He told me he'd make my birthday one to remember and we all went down to the local gas station and they stole some beer and we went down to this old warehouse and partied. I was still pretty upset so Charlie gave me a line of coke and I tried it. I don't really remember much after that except it was the first time I had sex,and when I woke up on the floor the next morning I was alone. I remember walking out of the warehouse and down the street to go home when this cop car pulled up behind me and this guy got out. I thought for sure I was busted. But he handed me a card and he gave me a lift home, I took it and that's how I met Hank Voight"

The silence that filled the room was deafening. Dr. Sullivan laid down his pen and looked over at Jay. "Is this the same Hank that disapproves of your relationship with Erin?"

Jay nodded "Yeah, but I think I realize why"

Dr. Sullivan placed a hand on his chin. "Really?"

Jay nodded and reached down to take Erin's hand. He brought it up to his lips and kissed it. "Hank had a mild heart attack last night. Last night when I saw him and Erin together it really put it into perspective for me. He considers her his daughter and really he should. It seems like he's the only stability that she did have. And as for the fact that he doesn't want me to be with Erin. We're working on it. I know that it'll be a process. I can't sit here and say where we're going to be in 10, 20, 50 years. I don't know if I'll ever be able to give Erin the things that I know she deserves, but what I can tell you and Hank Voight. Is I love Erin, and I'm going to love Erin through the good and the bad, day in and day out for the rest of my life"

Dr. Sullivan smiled to himself and looked over at Erin. "Well, Erin. while I think that self reliance is a most admirable quality, you're really not so alone in this world. There are people out in the precinct and in your life who you have that you can rely on. And what a gift to have someone say such things about you. Everyone should be so lucky"

Erin wiped a stray tear that had fallen from her cheek and she nodded as she looked from Dr. Sullivan to Jay.

She suddenly felt like she had an invisible weight lifted off of her shoulders. She smiled softly as Jay squeezed her hand again. And for the first time in a long time, Erin finally felt like she was going to be ok.

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**I don't even know what to say about the Chicago P.D. Fall Finale. My Linstead ship is slacking in sails right now. I don't know what the hell the writers are doing now. It's like a complete season and a half being built up to the same place we were episode one. I just don't get it. The whole Linstead "Will they or won't they?" tease was funny in the beginning, but it's not funny to me anymore. I've become far too emotionally invested in them as more than just partners of friends for it to be a joke to the writers. I'm sure they think it's funny to lead us on, but I don't see the humor in it anymore. It's a really unfunny joke. I want them as a couple. Not a Chicago P.D. version of Stabler and Benson from SVU. Throw me a bone, Chicago P.D. writers. Just throw me a bone...Anyway, hope that you guys like the chapter. Please review...**


	21. You Put Your Arms Around Me And I'm Home

**Thanks for the reviews guys! Hope you like this chapter...There's a little time jump. Nothing too big though. **

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**2 Months Later**

The last eight weeks had been pretty uneventful for everyone. Erin's therapy had went from three days to two days a week. Erin for one was beyond happy about that. She did have to admit that the joint sessions with Jay did help her. He'd found out more about her in the last two months then anybody had ever known about her...even things that Hank Voight didn't know.

Erin still had her bad days, but they were coming farther apart than they used to and she was finally learning to lean on her friends in the precinct. Which is what's led to the latest adventure for District 21.

A team building workshop in Michigan on Mackinac Island at the Grand Hotel.

The whole weekend retreat was Voight's idea. He'd gotten the suggestion from Platt who had heard about the retreat from her boyfriend "Mouch". Who'd told her all about the fire and rescue's team building retreat.

So here they all were. District 21 waiting to board a Greyhound bus for the 412 mile journey to Mackinac Island.

"Can somebody explain why this was a good idea?" Adam Ruzek asked as he took a drink of his coffee. "I mean it sounded fun last night when we were all having our meeting about this damn trip, but now...here in the darkness of 4:30 am, I have to question Voight's sanity...and mine"

"Aw, poor baby. You tired?" Kim asked as she wrapped an arm around her boyfriend and smiled up at Ruzek.

"You shouldn't have kept me up so late" Ruzek raised his eyebrows at Burgess who shook her head and turned her face away as Adam leaned down to kiss her.

"Please, I'm trying to digest my sausage biscuit" Atwater said from behind Kim and Adam.

"Kevin? So good to see you" Ruzek rolled his eyes at Atwater who bumped Kim's shoulder playfully as he walked past his old partner.

"Be nice" Burgess said slapping Ruzek's shoulder.

"You should know that I'm not a morning person" Ruzek yawned and pulled Kim closer to him.

"Here come Jay and Erin" Burgess said as Jay's car pulled up to the bus depot.

"It's about time" Ruzek said looking at his watch. "I mean it's 4:38"

Kim rolled her eyes as she watched Jay and Erin get out of the car as Ruzek went to help load bags into the luggage holder under the bus.

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"Do you think you have enough in that duffel bag, Halstead?" Erin asked as she watched her boyfriend struggle with pulling the extremely overstuffed duffel bag out of the trunk of his car.

"You should be proud of me. I like to think of this as smart packing. I don't need to bring two bags like you" Jay said as he finally got his bag unstuck from the small trunk of his car.

"Your clothes are going to be wrinkled" Erin said matter of factly as she grabbed her smaller bag out of the trunk.

"They won't. I know how to pack a bag. I was an Army Ranger. remember?" Jay shut the trunk as Erin grabbed her last duffel bag from the trunk and he pressed the button to lock his car and took Erin's hand as they walked to the bus.

"I don't know about you but I fully plan on taking a nap on the way to the hotel" Erin said covering her mouth as she yawned.

"Aw, did I wear my girl out last night?" Jay asked smiling and bumping his shoulder against hers.

"Shut up" Erin shook her head as she waved at Kim who was standing beside the bus talking to Platt.

Jay stopped short of the bus and pulled Erin to him by their joined hands. He smiled down at her before leaning down to whisper in her ear "See, last night. When I asked you to "Tell Me What You Want" I didn't mean it as an invitation for you to be so mean"

Erin closed her eyes as she felt Jay's hot breath on her ear and neck. She felt her cheeks turn red as she thought about their escapades last night. Clearly, the biggest reason that they were the last ones to arrive for the trip "I know you weren't asking for that. I just throw it in for free. But...if you play your cards right, then maybe you can tell me what you want this weekend"

Jay pulled his head back and looked down at Erin who had an eyebrow raised and was biting her lip playfully. Jay cleared his throat before speaking. "You're bluffing"

"Am I?" Erin asked as she let go of Jay's hand and slid her fingers up his arm to his shoulder.

Jay's eyes closed as Erin's hand continued it's journey up and over his shoulder and down his chest. "Er..."

"Yes?" Erin asked

"You're not playing fair" Jay swallowed hard as he felt Erin's hand sliding down his abs and stomach. He heard her laugh softly as her hand slowed at his stomach and then ever so slowly started it's descent south.

As soon as Jay felt Erin's fingers against his belt he reached down and grabbed her hand. "You're dead"

He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it before intertwining their fingers.

"It's going to be a fun weekend, right?" Erin asked as she looked at the Greyhound bus.

"I hope it's one we won't forget" Jay said looking down at her.

Erin turned her head and looked at Jay who was staring intently at her. "Don't get weird on me now, Jay"

Jay felt Erin let go of his hand and walk the short distance over to the bus. He took a breath and exhaled before following her to the bus to put his bag away.

**000000000000000**

"Why am I the only one on this bus?" Hank Voight asked as he stepped off the Greyhound bus and looked at his team. "What part of we leave at 4:45 do you guys not understand? In case you all don't know, the bus moves...NOT the station. Let's get moving"

"Not really sure why we agreed to this" Olinsky finished loading the last of the bags as he stepped back so the compartment doors could be shut.

"At least we're getting paid for this" Antonio Dawson shrugged his shoulders as he quickly threw a stray bag into the luggage compartment.

"Wait...you guys are getting paid?" Ruzek asked looking between Alvin and Antonio. "I'm not getting paid. Why am I not getting paid?"

"There are some perks to senirority my friend" Olinsky said patting Ruzek's shoulder before turning to get on the bus.

"Perks to ass kissing, too" Adam mumbled.

"What was that?" Alvin asked turning around.

"I said perfect bus system" Ruzek quickly said "I've always admired the Greyhound company...Damn fine bus system...Damn fine"

Ruzek quickly walked past Alvin and boarded the bus.

"Remind me why we keep him around?" Olinsky asked looking at Dawson.

"I ask myself that at least once a shift" Antonio said shaking his head.

**0000000000000000000**

As the bus pulled out of the parking lot Hank Voight stood up and looked at his team. He looked at his watch before speaking.

"Now that it's 4:50 and we're officially late. I want to go over some rules for this retreat. This retreat is team building. After the last few months I think that it's a step in the right direction for our team. With Erin well on her way to returning next month, I feel like it's the perfect time for us to all come together and become a stronger unit. Not only for us as individuals, but also for our city. Some of you may ask, why are we going to a retreat 7 hours away? A change of scenery is always good for everyone and getting out in an unkown enviornment is a key in coming together. If we're close as a unit, we will be better able to serve the city of Chicago. I understand we're at a hotel, but that doesn't mean you act like a damn kid. I'm looking at you Ruzek"

Adam shrugged his shoulders "What?"

"You know what" Voight said "Don't be running around the hotel like some damn kid that's never stayed at a hotel before. As for the rest of you, I want everyone to really take part in the retreat. There will be various trust building exercises and it's a really good time for us to get to know each other on another level. For those of you who've never been to Mackinac Island or the Grand Hotel, you're in for a real treat. It's a five star hotel. You will have plenty of time to take a tour of the island and the hotel grounds. But, when a retreat activity is scheduled I want to see you guys there. Don't make me come look for you"

Voight took one last look at the team and took his seat as the Greyhound started down the road.

**00000000000000000000**

Erin flipped through her magazine and closed it. She looked down at her phone and saw that it was just now 6am. She looked over at Jay who was laying under his Chicago Blackhawks blanket that they were sharing asleep. She pulled out her earbuds and scooted closer to him.

Erin took a quick glance around the bus at the rest of the team who were either napping or buried in their phones or a book.

Erin leaned over Jay and placed a kiss against his neck and she smiled when she felt him stir in his sleep and his eyes opened to meet her gaze.

"Aren't you going to sleep?" Jay asked raising his arm up as Erin curled into his chest.

"Maybe" Erin said resting her head on his chest.

"Good" Jay draped his arm over Erin's shoulder and closed his eyes.

Erin looked out at the scenery as the sun started to rise and paint dark shades of red, purple and orange across the sky. She pulled the fleece blanket up over her shoulder and ran her fingers rhythmically up and down Jay's stomach and tilted her gaze to study Jay's face. She was fully aware that he was not asleep. She smiled and started to move her hand lower under the blanket and she bit her lip as she felt Jay stir under roaming hand. When she reached the bottom of his t-shirt she bunched it up in her hand and ran her hand under it and over his abs.

Jay jumped at the feel of Erin's cold hand on his bare skin and he opened his eyes to look down at her. "Er.." he whispered.

"Shhh" Erin said softly as she ran her hand out from under his shirt and slowly down the front of his denim jeans.

Jay sucked in his breath and tried to think of anything he could to keep his body from reacting to Erin's touch. He gritted his teeth as he felt her hand run across the zipper and over the button as her thumb and finger quickly unfastened it and slowly slid the zipper down. Jay swallowed hard as Erin's hand moved up to the trail of hair that went down from his belly button and disappeared under the waistband of his boxers. "Erin...please...don't"

Erin ignored the plea from her boyfriend and her fingers slowly made their way down. Her hand had just about met it's destination when she felt Jay hand on her wrist. "Enough"

Erin turned her gaze up to Jay's and lifted her head and moved it to his ear. "It's not fun to be teased?" Erin asked placing a kiss on Jay's jaw.

"Not when you're a few minutes away from turning me into a walking wet dream" Jay kept his grip tight on Erin's hand to keep her from moving it to his growing erection.

Erin laughed against his jaw and gave his stubbled face another kiss. "Detective Halstead, you've got a dirty mouth"

Jay turned and bent his head down to Erin's ear. "I'm really trying to restrain myself right now. It's really taking everything I have to not lay you down on this bus and fuck you"

Erin's eyes darkened as she felt Jay's breath on her neck. She moaned just loud enough for Jay to hear as she felt his hand slide up to her legging covered thigh. "You wouldn't"

"Only because I wouldn't want Voight to see. It would be like having sex in front of your dad" Jay smiled as he heard Erin exhale in disgust.

"Thanks for ruining the mood" Erin pulled her hand away from Jay's waist and pushed his hand away from her.

Jay quickly fastened his jeans and ran his hand up Erin's neck and turned her face to his. "You're mine at the hotel. Just prepare yourself"

"You're bluffing" Erin said her eyes searching Jay's as she smiled.

"Am I?" Jay asked raising an eyebrow as he held her gaze.

**0000000000000000000**

The bus pulled into the ferry docks just after noon and with a short ferry ride to the island the district had finally arrived at the Grand Hotel.

"Man, this is some classy shit" Ruzek said stepping off of the ferry and pulling his rolling suitcase behind him.

"You aren't kidding" Roman said walking up behind Ruzek. "Where are all the cars?"

"Oh, there are no cars on the island. All travel is either by foot, bike, or horse and buggy" Burgess explained as she walked up to her partner and her boyfriend.

"We've got to walk everywhere? That sucks" Ruzek sighed and wrapped an arm around Kim.

"Babe, you run after perps for a living. I think that you can manage a little walking" Burgess let go of her rolling suitcase long enough to wrap her arms around Adam.

"Doesn't mean I want to do it on vacation. A free vacation at that" Ruzek said as a smile spread across his face, as a representative for the hotel made her way up to the group.

The hotel rep took a look at the group before placing a smile on her face and speaking "Welcome to the historic Grand Hotel, we are so pleased to have you here with us this weekend for your work retreat. You'll find that we are unlike any other hotel you've stayed at. At Grand Hotel, no two of the 390 guest rooms are alike. More than three dozen themed rooms and suites from the Lincoln Suite to the Hollywood Suite it makes for interesting accommodations throughout. Each guest room has been tastefully decorated by a New York designer in its own special character and style, complete with numerous amenities including individually controlled AC, mini bar, in-room safe, cable TV, iron and coffee maker. Free Wi-Fi is available throughout the hotel and resort grounds. Grand Hotel has always embraced its history, but kept up well with the times. Today, guests enjoy modern amenities while the hotel's original architecture and charm have been tastefully preserved. Contributing greatly to the hotel's ambiance is the relaxed atmosphere of Mackinac Island where cars are not allowed and the horse and carriage and bicycle are favored modes of transportation"

The hotel rep took a final glance at the group as hotel workers loaded up the teams luggage. "If you'll follow me, it's only a short walk up to the hotel. We will get everyone checked in and from there we will pass out your itinerary"

Erin started to walk up to paved road to the hotel and stopped when she felt Jay let go of her hand. She turned around to look at him "You coming?"

Jay looked at her and then at Voight who was standing on the dock talking to Olinsky. "Yeah, you go on and I'll catch up"

Erin nodded and turned around and started her way up to the road.

Jay watched her walk away and join Burgess and Ruzek before walking back down to the dock.

"...The first meeting for us is at 3 in the theater and then we will go from there" Voight told Olinsky as Jay walked up on their conversation.

"Halstead, something wrong?" Voight asked.

"You got a minute?" Jay asked looking at Voight.

"What's up?" Voight asked.

Alvin looked between Jay and Hank and then up to the hotel. "I'll meet you guys up there"

Olinsky walked past Jay and slapped his shoulder as a sign of support as he walked up the road to the hotel.

"You mind if we talk and walk? I'd like to get to my room before we have to meet in the theater" Voight started to walking up to the desk.

"Sure" Jay said taking in his surroundings and following Hank up to the hotel.

**000000000000000000**

Hank Voight held the key cards and the Itinaries as he walked around the lobby of the hotel. He was waiting for the team to get back from lunch. His earlier conversation with Halstead was replaying back in his mind. He'd deal with it when he got back to Chicago, he didn't want it to be the focus of the weekend, but something told him that it was only a matter of a few hours before the rest of the team found out. A season of change was about to make its way across District 21, a change for the better? Maybe.

One by one the team showed up in the lobby. "Well, I hope everyone enjoyed lunch. I've got your keys and your information for the weekend"

Voight walked up to the team and started passing out room keys. He made his way to the end of the line where Kim, Adam, Jay and Erin were standing making small talk. The chatter ended as Hank walked up to them. Ruzek and Burgess held their hands out for their room keys and Hank shook his head.

"Nice try. Not happening. Burgess and Lindsay in one room and Halstead and Ruzek you get the other" Voight said handing the room keys over his gaze holding Jay's for a few seconds before he turned and walked away.

"That's what he thinks" Ruzek scoffed reaching for Erin's key card and handing his to her so that he'd have the same key card as Kim. "Let's go check out our rooms.

**000000000000000000000**

Erin groaned as her back crashed against the suite door as it closed behind her and Jay. She pulled her mouth away from Jay's to take a breath because her lungs were on fire from lack of oxygen. Jay wasted no time when Erin moved her lips from his. He instantly moved them to her neck only moving them away when he was pulling off her red tank top. Erin ran her hands down Jay's chest to his shirt and she bunched it up in her hands before pulling it up and over his head and dropping it to the floor next to hers.

Jay pulled away from Erin long enough for the shirt to drop and he instantly stepped back and crushed his mouth to hers. Erin moaned as she felt Jay run his hand down her side and down her legging covered thigh. Her fingers spread across his chest and stomach as they kissed and she ran them down to make quick work of the button on his jeans.

Jay moaned and grasped Erin's thigh and pulled it up over his hip as he stepped even closer to her and he ground his pelvis into hers. "I want you so bad" He said against her lips as they kissed.

Erin didn't reply to him she couldn't. All she could think about was her boyfriend and how amazing he was making her feel.

As they made their way to the bed in the suite they each made quick work of the rest of their clothes until they were in their underwear. Erin felt her legs hit the back of the bed and she sat down and scooted to the middle of the bed as Jay climbed up on top of her and settled himself between her thighs. He ran his hand down her thigh and snaked a finger under her black bikini cut underwear and he groaned when he found her more than ready for him as he slid his finger inside of her.

Erin wasn't in the mood for teasing. She needed him and they only had 25 minutes until they needed to be downstairs for the meeting.

"Jay please" Erin whined as she parted her legs and reached a hand down to grab his wrist. The slow torture of his finger was enough to bring tears to her eyes.

"Please?" Jay repeated. His voice was dark with arousal as he added another finger and Erin cried out under him. "I don't remember you caring about teasing me on the bus ride this morning"

Erin tightened her grip on Jay's wrist. Her body was on fire. She couldn't take it. "Please...I can't...I'm sorry"

"You're sorry?" Jay asked his fingers stopping their assult on her body.

"Yes" Erin panted with relief as she felt Jay remove his fingers from her.

"Good. Get dressed. We need to be downstairs" Jay climbed off the bed and grabbed his jeans and shirt before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him.

**00000000000000000000**

"I don't know about this" Ruzek said as he climbed up the ladder to the zip line.

"Come on Ruzek, just do it" Platt said from behind him.

"Give me a minute, Platt" Ruzek spat as he felt the instructors hooking him up to the line.

The zipline was a hell of a lot higher than it looked and the thought of a wire and God's will keeping him from falling to his death wasn't the team building that Adam Ruzek had in mind.

"Stop being a pussy and jump" Platt said adjusting her helmet as she made her way up to the platform.

"Why do you have to be my trust building partner on this exercise?" Ruzek asked.

"Becaue I'm the glue who holds this unit together. It's my face that brings you all the most joy. Now get moving" Platt crossed her arms over her.

"Don't rush me" Ruzek took a look out over the horizon and took a shaky breath.

"Ruzek, if you don't go. I'm going to start taking my clothes off" Platt said.

"God no!" Ruzek said.

"Something wrong with my body, Ruzek?" Platt asked looking at him.

"No...no ma'am. I just have a girlfriend is all" Ruzek asked.

"Stop being a baby. Jump" Platt said.

Ruzek took a few jumps in place and stepped to the edge of the platform "Tell my mom and Kim I loved them"

"Yeah yeah...love them I got it" Platt said stepping up behind Ruzek.

Adam Ruzek stepped closer to the edge. His toes hanging off the platform. He sighed and closed his eyes and jumped.

**000000000000000000000**

"You still not talking to me?" Jay asked as he and Erin walked back to the room after dinner.

"Nope" Erin answered looking down at the carpeted hallway as she and Jay walked.

"Aw, I'm sorry" Jay smiled and wrapped his arm around her. "But today was fun. Don't you think?"

Erin nodded "It was nice"

Jay looked at his watch as they made it to their room. "It's still kind of early. You want to play "Scrabble"?.

Erin turned her head and looked at Jay. "I don't think you deserve "Scrabble""

"Please? It'll be fun" Jay said as he opened the door.

Erin walked into the room and she closed her eyes as the door closed. She was fully expecting Jay to kiss her and when he didn't she opened her eyes.

She looked at him and saw an unopened Scrabble game sitting on their bed. "You really meant Scrabble?"

Jay nodded as he walked up to the bed and took the game and started to open it. "Yeah, how about you go and see if Kim and Ruzek want to play and I'll set it up on the balcony"

Erin nodded and walked out of the room and down the hall. She walked down to Adam and Kim's room and knocked on the door. She waited a few minutes for an answer but didn't get one so she walked down the hall back to her and Jay's room. Erin put the key card in the slot and opened the door.

**0000000000000000000000**

When Erin opened the door the room was basked in candlelight. Jay stood on the balcony of the hotel with the doors to their room open. He had the Scrabble game set up and Erin looked around the room as she walked out to the balcony. She looked out at the night sky and the people who were walking around the hotel grounds before looking down at the game board on the table. "Cheating already, Halstead?" Erin asked

"What?" Jay asked.

"It's seven tiles...not four" Erin said as she walked over to her seat and pulled it out.

She stopped dead in her movement as she looked down at her tiles and saw the word spelled out.

L-O-V-E

It took a moment fot it to register in her mind that the "O" wasn't actually a tile but his mother's ring. The perfect 2 carat princess cut ring sat perfectly in the tile holder and Erin's gaze rose to meet Jay's.

"What..."

Jay took a deep breath. "Erin, you're no picnic. You're moody, stubborn, grouchy, and way too controlling for your own good. When I first met you I promised to protect you as my partner. Over the last 2 years we've become not only friends, but so much more. I've seen you at your best, and I've seen you at your worst. I've watched this girl who was so closed off slowly let me in. Every day that we were in that car it was simple moments, simple moments with a girl who for so long only saw me as her friend. A few months ago I almost lost you forever and I knew if I could just get you to come back to me. that I'd make sure I'd never let you go again. You may be moody, stubborn, grouchy and controlling. But you're also loyal, smart. kind. beautiful. talented. honest, strong. my biggest distraction. my best friend. my girl...my life"

Jay took a few steps to Erin and picked the ring up from the tile holder just as fireworks started over Erin's shoulder lighting up the night sky.

"Fireworks and candles. right?" Jay said his eyes searching Erin's before he knelt to the ground.

"Erin Kathleen Lindsay, I love you and I want to make all your dreams come true. No matter where life takes us I know that if you're by my side then I know that my dreams have already come true"

A single tear slid down Erin's cheek as she looked down at Jay.

"Will you marry me?"

**000000000000000000000000000000000**

**I REALLY hope that you guys liked this. Cause I had this vision from the moment I started this story. Feel free to comment. Good or Bad. I can take it. But...I really hope it's good. =-)**


	22. Maybe It's Everything We're Dreaming Of

**I am beyond words from the response from the last chapter. You guys don't even know how happy that makes me. I had that proposal in mind before I even started this story. I've had the idea for it ever since episode 1x06 of Chicago P.D. So, again thank you so much. I hope that you guys continue to read and review this story. This chapter is an "M" so read at your own risk.**

**00000000000000000000**

If this is what people talk about when they feel like time is frozen, then Erin Lindsay was having one of those moments. Was this really happening to her? She couldn't believe that this man who was knelt before her had just asked her to be his wife. Erin held Jay's gaze, his blue eyes radiated love as he stared up at her from his bended knee. Erin knew if her life ended tonight, that she without a doubt knew what it meant to truly feel loved.

"Yes" Erin whispered a tear sliding down her cheek.

Jay exhaled a breath that he didn't even know that he'd been holding. "Yes? You said yes?"

Erin quickly nodded as the tears fell freely from her hazel eyes. "Yeah. Yes, of course"

"Thank God" Jay smiled wide and he slipped his mother's ring onto Erin's finger and he stood up and lowered his lips to hers.

Erin pulled back from the kiss and kissed a line down Jay's stubbled jaw as he pulled her into a hug. "I love you"

Jay tightened his grip around Erin as those three words left her lips. "I love you, too. I'm going to make you so happy, Erin"

Erin pulled back and looked at him. Her eyes shining with unshed tears "You already do. So happy. You saved me. Saved me from it all"

Jay raised his hand to Erin's cheek and wiped the stray tear that escaped away. "You saved yourself. I was just there to remind you that you could do it"

Erin exhaled deeply and ran her hands from Jay's shoulders down to his chest. The ring on her hand catching the light and sparkling. Erin smiled as her gaze caught it and she studied it for a few seconds before looking up at Jay. "We're engaged"

Jay laughed softly and brushed Erin's hair across her forehead "That we are, baby girl"

Erin's gaze held Jay's as she laughed softly. "You know that Hank's going to kill us"

Jay shrugged his shoulders "He already knows"

Erin pulled back and looked down at her ring and then at Jay. "How?"

"I asked him" Jay said with a shrug.

"What?" Erin said she stepped out of Jay's embrace, not believeing what she was hearing.

Jay took a step towards Erin and pulled her back to him. "Just what I said. I asked Hank if he'd give me his blessing to marry you. Surprisingly it went well. He mellowed out after that heart attack"

"Why would you ask him?" Erin asked tilting her eyes up to Jay's.

Jay furrowed his brow as he thought for a moment. "Because, I know how much he means to you. I know you probably seek his approval more so than you care to admit. I mean I was glad that there were a lot of witnesses and if we wake up tomorrow and I'm missing tell the cops to search the lake. But he didn't fight me on it. I think he's finally accepted that this is real"

Erin ran her hands up Jay's sport coat and she tilted her head to the side as she spoke "You know, if it wasn't for you. I don't know how I'd have made it through the past five months. We both know, I'd have died on that ship if you hadn't given me CPR to keep me alive"

Jay shook his head at the memory. The image of Erin's lifeless body laying under him as he tried to revive her filled his mind. He'd never seen a person lose so much blood and live. Even Erin's doctors were at a loss for words over her recovery. She was his answered prayer, his living and breathing miracle. "We don't need to talk about that"

Erin nodded she felt a sudden wave of guilt in knowing she'd probably just ruined their night. "I'm sorry"

Jay placed his hand under Erin's chin and tilted her head up to look at him. "That was by far the worst night of my life. I've been to war and I've slept outside while bullets fired overhead, I've seen men and women fall dead in front of me. But you...you laying on that bed, on that ship, dying under my hands and knowing there was nothing...nothing...that I could do was the worst moment of my life. Watching those beautiful eyes looking up at me and then falling closed. I didn't think pain like that existed. The thought of having to spend my life without you...that's no life at all"

Erin looked at Jay, his blue eyes clouded with tears as he spoke to her. She hadn't thought about how that night had affected him. Everyone had been so focused on her and her recovery the last few months that nobody really stopped to think about how that night had impacted her partner.

Erin ran her hands down Jay's shoulders and pushed his sport coat off of his shoulders. "I know that night was hard for you, but it's because of you that I'm standing here right now. It's because of you that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. I get to be your wife, give you babies, grow old with you. You gave me a future and it lies with you"

Jay slipped his sports coat off and draped it over the chair sitting on the balcony of their hotel room. Before pulling Erin back into his arms and kissing her temple.

000000000000000000000

"Have I told you how incredibly beautiful you look tonight," Jay murmured against her temple and Erin smiled and looked up at him.

"Only tonight huh?"

"Well you're always beautiful." He brushed his lips against hers softly. "But tonight especially. The way you look in that dress has been making me want to tear if from your body all night."

"Well, it doesn't fit me quite a well as it did before," Erin sighed referring to her weight loss.

Jay lifted his finger to her chin and tilted her face up to look at him. "Er, feel this." He pressed his lower body against her, letting her feel his arousal as it strained against the fabric of his pants. Erin's eyes fell closed as she pressed against him. "You could wear a potato sack and you'd still be the most breathtakingly beautiful woman I've ever known."

Erin's head lolled backward and her mouth opened in anticipation of the kiss she knew was coming. Jay grinned, loving the effect he had on her and he took her invitation and covered her mouth with his lips. He slid his tongue into her warm cavern and let it explore the familiar territory. He'd kissed her so much over the last few months that he knew every inch of her. But still he seemed to discover something new about her each time he kissed her.

Erin slid her arms up around his neck and she pressed her body even closer to him as their lips gently caressed as they both took soft nips of each other. Jay's hands slid down her back and he took the soft globes of her ass in his hands and squeezed them.

Erin slid her hands into his hair and her fingers gently massaged his scalp as he pulled his lips away from hers and nibbled a soft path across her jaw to her neck. His tongue slipped between his lips and he swirled it softly over the sensitive skin below her ear, making her body shudder in his arms.

"Jay," she sighed his name into the warm night air as her head lolled backwards again. Jay took the soft lobe of her ear between his teeth and bit gently before his tongue traced the rim of her ear. One of Erin's hands slid out of his hair and down the front of his body, down his chest and over stomach, making the muscles tighten beneath her fingertips as she continued her path toward her ultimate destination.

Jay turned their bodies and guided her backwards toward the door to go to the room but he stopped dead in his tracks when she cupped him through his pants and gave him a gentle squeeze.

"Erin," he groaned against her neck where he was sucking on the warm skin over her pulse. He pulled his lips away and lifted his head to look down at her, his normally bright blue eyes now so dark with desire that they were almost black.

"I don't want to go in there" she whispered as she lifted her head, her eyes also dark and filled with the passion and love she felt for him.

Jay growled as he released her abruptly and she stumbled slightly as he disappeared into the room. She lifted her hand to her chest and placed it over her rapidly beating heart. How was it after everything, after all this time of being together, he could still make her feel so out of control, like it was the first time every time they kissed or touched. Just a look from him could send her heart racing so rapidly that she was sure it would burst right out of her chest. Just a simple touch could send a rush of arousal straight to her core in seconds and make her knees so weak she was surprised she didnt collapse to the floor. His kiss still took her breath away and left her wanton and willing to do anything he wanted and she knew, without a doubt, it always would.

Jay reappeared from the room with two pillows and two blankets and he pulled her into his available arm, guiding her out of eye view of their balcony. His lips captured hers in a hungry, demanding kiss and she willingly allowed his tongue to plunder her mouth.

Jay pulled his lips away and then released her again as he quickly laid one blanket down on the balcony, dropping the pillows at one end and the other blanket at the other. He turned to face her again and pulled her into his arms, bending his face to nuzzle her neck softly as he willed his body to slow down and savor their time alone. As much as his body wanted to throw her down on the ground and mount her like a stallion, his mind and his heart and his soul wanted to love her slowly and gently and completely.

"God, I love you, Erin" he murmured against her skin as he cupped her breast in his palm, kneading the soft flesh lovingly as his thumb and forefinger tweaked her nipple gently.

Erin closed her eyes again and took his earlobe between her lips, sucking on the soft skin as the warm breath exiting her nose as she breathed tickled his ear canal. "I love you too. Jay"

Jay lifted his head and smirked at her. She cocked her head to the side as she wondered why he'd stopped doing what he was doing. "What?" she asked softly as her hands fumbled with his belt.

"Well, two things, I don't know what I ever did to get so damn lucky. Second, I must be doing something seriously wrong here Lindsay because you shouldn't be able to form a coherent thought when I-"

He stopped mid sentence as her hand slid into the front of his boxer shorts and her fingers wrapped around his throbbing shaft. How the hell did she manage that without him noticing, he wondered as his eyes closed of their own volition and his fingers flexed around her breast.

"Erin," he moaned and she leaned forward and ran her tongue along the hollow of his throat.

"You weren't doing anything wrong, Halstead. In fact you were well on your way to doing something very right." Erin tugged on his shaft softly before she removed her hand from his boxers. Jay blinked his crossed eyes and looked down at her. "And you are pretty damn lucky, Halstead," she murmured as she reached up and cupped his face in her palms and then brushed her lips softly against his.

He pulled her into his arms again and sank into the kiss, giving up any and all restraint he might have had left. He didn't want to have any restraint with her. He wanted to lose himself inside her and not know where he ended and she began.

He turned her and helped her to sit down on the blanket before he dropped to his knees in front of her. "I love you," he whispered against her lips as he kissed her and urged her onto her back. She leaned back against the pillows and let her thighs fall open as he knelt between them. He deepened the kiss as he leaned over her, letting his body press her against the hard wood of the deck.

"Jay," she sighed into his mouth as he braced himself on one hand over her and the other traveled up the outside of her thigh, softly caressing her skin through the thin material of her pantyhose. He pressed his arousal against her core and he could feel the heat coming from her body through the layers of clothes between them. Erin bucked her hips softly and he moaned into her mouth as his hand again started kneading the soft flesh of her breast.

Jay's lips softly nibbled a heated path over her chin and down her throat as his tongue traced her pulse. He dipped his tongue into the hollow of her throat as her nails scraped down his back over the soft cotton of his shirt. Her hands reached his butt and she grasped him in her hands and pulled him tighter against her causing a guttural groan to escape his lips.

Jay pulled away and sat back on his calves, looking down at the woman lying in front of him. Her skin was flushed, her eyes were glazed, her chest was heaving and she was, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman he'd ever known. There were times, still to this day, that he had to pinch himself to believe that she was his girl, that she really loved him and intended to spend the rest of her life with him. She'd given him love he never felt he deserved, and she'd one day give him a family he never thought he'd have.

His fingers trailed softly along the soft skin of her thighs, dipping beneath the hem of her dress, pushing it higher. He bypassed her core and reached the waistband of her pantyhose and tugged, pulling her lace panties along with them. He scooted backwards and pulled the soft material down her legs, removing her shoes and then divesting her of both items. Her thighs fell open again and the soft scent of her arousal wafted upward, filling his nostrils and he sighed as his fingers tenderly caressed the soft skin of her inner thighs.

Erin sat up and reached behind her body, tugging at the zipper that helped keep the dress on her body. The material loosened around her shoulders and she let it slip down the front of her body, revealing her lace-encased breasts to his heated gaze. Without a word, Jay leaned forward and captured her lips in a deep kiss as his hands lifted and massaged the soft round globes through the lace material, his thumbs sweeping over her nipples softly, making her body shudder.

Erin wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down with her as she lay back on the blanket. He settled between her thighs again and Erin slid one hand down his chest and into the front of his boxers again, gripping his hard, smooth shaft in her hand. Jay continued to plunder her mouth with his tongue as his index finger dipped beneath her bra and he flicked his finger against her nipple.

She moaned into his mouth and tugged on his shaft in response and Jay's lips pulled away from hers and started their descent down her body. He took mouthfuls of her soft skin as he made his way over her neck, sucking on her pulse again before his tongue slipped between his lips and swirled against the warm delicate skin that created the soft swell of her breasts.

His deft fingers pulled at the clasp nestled in the center and he released it, her breasts spilling free and filling his eager hands. He massaged and kneaded them and Erin arched her back, silently begging him to take her into his mouth. Without giving her what she wanted, Jay kissed a soft path across the valley between her breasts to the other one and treated it to the same loving torture.

Erin sped up the motion of her hand on him and squeezed his hot, hard flesh in response, telling him without words that she wasnt happy with his teasing. She swept her thumb over the blunt head, eliciting a deep groan from the depths of his chest just as his mouth closed around her nipple.

"Jay", Erin whimpered softly and she pressed his face against her breast, as his teeth and tongue pleasured her, nibbling the sensitive tip and then soothing it with the pad of his tongue.

Jays hand slid down the side of her body and his fingers speared through her, already moist from her desire. His fingers stopped briefly at the swollen bundle of nerves just at the base of her thighs and he flicked his fingertip against the tip of it, making her hips buck as she cried out softly into the night. His fingers then continued their descent until they reached her folds, dipping into her wet, warm, body, first one and then a second until they were buried all the way up to his knuckles.

Erins hips arched off the blanket and she released him as he plunged his fingers in and out of her welcoming body, her velvet walls tightening around them, gripping them and trying desperately to keep them trapped inside her.

"God, Erin", Jay groaned against her

Erin pulled her hand out of his boxers and guided his head to her other nipple and he devoured it hungrily as his thumb pressed against her clit, making small circles over the tender nub as his fingers continued to plunge inside her.

He felt her walls beginning to throb around his fingers and Erin cried out softly as her orgasm rolled over her, slowly consuming her entire body and she trembled as she tightened her thighs around his hand. Jay released her nipple and she pulled his head up, pulling his lips to hers and sucking his tongue into her mouth.

Jay slowed the pace of his fingers and urged her body to calm and their kisses softened until they were just barely taking gentle sips of each other. Erins body continued to jerk softly beneath him until he removed his fingers and lifted the drenched digits to his mouth where he licked them clean, one by one.

"I think you still have too many clothes on", Erin murmured softly as her fingers reached for the hem of his shirt, pushing it up his torso. Jay sat up and pulled his shirt over his head as Erin removed her bra and pushed her dress over her hips and down her body, tossing it softly to the side.

Jay removed his shoes and slid his pants and boxers down his legs, freeing his aching cock to the cool night air and it twitched softly. Erin took him in her palm and pushed him onto his back on the blanket. She leaned over and swept her tongue over his tip and scooped up the smooth silky liquid pooling there.

"Baby", Jay hissed as she engulfed him in her warm mouth and he slid his fingers into the long silky strands of her hair. He clenched his fingers and groaned as he fought the urge to thrust his cock deep in her throat.

Erin slid her tongue along the vein on the underside and Jay's legs trembled. He could feel his balls tightening and he tugged gently on her hair. "Erin, baby, please stop," he begged her with a strangled moan and she released him with a soft plop, placing a soft kiss on his tip before she kissed her way over his stomach. She climbed over him and rested her knees on either side of his hips, trapping his cock between their bodies, her heat bathing his shaft as she slid along him.

Jay slid his fingers in her hair and pulled her mouth to his, swiftly flipping them over in one swift motion. He settled between her thighs as his tongue dueled with hers, seeking out the softness and sweetness that her mouth provided. Erin wrapped her arms around him and raked her short nails down his back as his tip slid between her moist folds.

"I love you," she sighed into his mouth as he slowly slid into her depths. Jay held still as her body adjusted to him and he showered her face with soft kisses as he whispered his love to her.

Finally, when he could take it no longer, he pulled back out slowly, only to thrust deeply inside her again and she lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist as they quickly fell into a frantic rhythm. Jay buried his face in her neck and nibbled and sucked the soft skin as he plunged his cock into her over and over again.

He grunted as he focused every ounce of strength he had bringing her to climax and he slid his hand between then, pressing the pads of his fingers against her clit. The added friction caused her to cry out as her body climbed closer and closer to completion.

"Jay," she chanted his name over and over as her body shook from the force of his thrusts, the tips of her nipples grazing his chest each time he slammed into her. She dug her fingernails into his skin at the base of his spine and attempted to pull him deeper as Jay slid his hands around her body. He slid them under her lower back and then down to grasp her ass in his palms, holding her body steady against his powerful thrusts.

He felt her walls begin to throb around him and she tightened her thighs, her eyes falling closed and her mouth forming a small "o" as her orgasm slowly took hold of her entire being. It rolled over her in waves and she gasped for air and her body shook from the force of it.

Jay lifted his head from her neck and looked down at her face, bathed in the moonlight, watching her as the pleasure washed over her. He fought his impending orgasm, denying the release his body so desperately wanted and he waited for her to open her eyes again.

"Erin, please open your eyes," he begged through clenched teeth. "I want to see your eyes."

Erin's eyes opened and they were glazed and fluttering as her body continued to jerk with the after effects of her climax. Jay groaned and he covered her lips with his, as his cock exploded inside her, pulsing his essence into her in three strong spurts. He collapsed on top of her, the weight of his spent body, crushing her beneath him but she only tightened her arms around him, never wanting to let him go.

Erin whimpered softly into his mouth as they continued to kiss, first frantically and then more softly as their bodies calmed and the sweat on their skin dried. Jay continued to thrust gently inside her as the last of the tremors inside her milked him of everything he had to offer her.

Finally she loosened her thighs and let her legs drop onto the blanket, her body too weak to move. Jay shivered softly and Erin slid her hands up and down his bare back. She pulled her lips away from his and opened her eyes again, looking up at the man who was her life.

"Best. Night. Ever" Erin sighed breathlessly as Jay smiled down at her and dropped his head to kiss her before rolling off of her. He reached down and grabbed the blanket by his feet and brought it up to cover them both up.

Erin curled into Jay and shivered at the cool air on her bare skin. Jay wrapped his arm around Erin and rubbed his hand up and down her shoulder.

The two laid in silence for a few minutes. Erin's arm draped over Jay's chest as he ran his hand in a pattern up and down her back. His other arm folded behind his head. He could feel Erin's body starting to relax against him and he knew she was starting to drift off.

"Erin? Babe, let's go to bed" Jay whispered.

"Let's stay here" Erin curled deeper into Jay and snuggled her head under his chin.

Jay laughed softly to himself and twisted his head to kiss the top of Erin's head as he breathed in the soft sent of her shampoo. "As much as I'd like that, I don't really think it's the best idea"

Erin sighed and moved to sit up holding the blanket against her bare chest. She felt Jay move up beside her and kiss her shoulder. Erin turned her head and smiled at him before leaning over to kiss him. Her left hand coming up to rest on his chin.

Jay pulled away from the kiss and brought his hand up to run through Erin's tousled hair. He felt Erin drop her hand from his chin and he looked down at his mother's ring on her hand and smiled.

"That ring looks good on you, Erin Lindsay" Jay said placing another kiss on Erin's bare shoulder.

Erin looked down at her hand and then back at Jay. "You look good on me"

Jay smiled and raised an eyebrow before leaning back over and kissing her. Erin's laughter filled the night air as Jay's stubbled jaw kissed her neck and pressed her back down onto the balcony ground.

**00000000000000000000000000000000**

Thoughts? I'm going to try to get another update posted later today. Since it's my day off from work. If not later today than tomorrow. Because I already have it started.


	23. All Grown Up And Gone

**Thanks for the reviews. I know I promised that I'd update sooner than I did but, my internet went out. How wonderful right? Anyway, here's the next chapter, hope that you guys like it. **

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"No way" Adam Ruzek said as he looked across the breakfast table at Sean Roman who was seated across from him.

"I swear. Last night I saw them. I was watching the fireworks and enjoying my beer and there they were" Roman said as he cut into his pancakes.

"That's the greatest story I've ever heard in my life. Now, what to do with this information" Ruzek smiled slyly as he looked over at the door as Jay and Erin walked in the dining room of the hotel. "Well, speak of the devil and he shall appear"

Roman looked over and saw Erin and Jay walking over to the breakfast bar and grabbing their plates. "Don't. Ruzek, seriously. Don't"

Adam's sly smile spread into a wide grin "Roman, I feel like you've handed me a gift, and it's not even my birthday or Christmas. I'd be a fool to not share my information with our friends"

Roman shook his head "Don't say anything"

"Don't say what?" Burgess asked as she came and sat down at the table beside Ruzek. She raised a hand up and ran it through Adam's messy yet styled hair.

"I'm telling her" Ruzek said leaning over to whisper into Kim's ear.

"They did not" Kim said her gaze lifting to where Jay and Erin were standing in line getting food from the buffet.

"Yes they did, Roman saw it" Ruzek smiled gesturing over to him.

"And you just spied on them?" Burgess asked sitting back in her chair and folding her arms over her chest.

"It was kind of hard not to see. I mean their balcony is just below mine. I didn't have anywhere else to look" Roman said. "I didn't want to see it if that counts for anything"

Kim shook her head and then looked at Adam "And you..."

Ruzek stopped mid movement of lifting his fork full of pancake up to his mouth. "What did I do?"

Kim said "You know what you did. You should know better going around and telling things you shouldn't tell. We've had this discussion"

Ruzek shook his head "Burgess, I didn't do anything. I was just telling you a true story. Man, I can't wait until Voight finds out about this...classic. I might just have to let him know when we go on our team building retreat"

"Aren't you and Voight going kayaking?" Roman asked.

"Yeah, perfect time to trust build" Ruzek said.

"You sure news like this is something you want to give a man in the middle of a lake with no witnessess?" Burgess asked looking at her boyfriend.

"That's a good point. Maybe I should tell him while we're on dry land" Ruzek smiled as Erin and Jay walked over to their table.

"Hey guys. Good morning" Jay said walking up to the table and pulling out an empty chair. He looked behind him at Erin who was holding her plate and she reached down and pulled out the chair next to him.

"Morning" Roman and Burgess said and went back to eating their breakfast.

"Good morning...Erin...Jay...What a beautiful morning it is" Ruzek's smile was as wide as a Cheshire Cat as he looked at Jay and Erin.

"Yeah...it's nice" Jay said holding the gaze of his best friend.

"You know last night was a really beautiful night. Don't you think, Jay?" Ruzek asked. "A hell of a nice night to just sit outside and just enjoy the sights"

"It was nice" Jay said as he stared at Adam quizzically.

"So...what did everyone do last night?" Trudy Platt asked as she walked up to the table and pulled a seat out and sat down.

"Good question, Platt. What did everyone do?" Ruzek said his eyes not leaving Jay and Erin at the end of the table.

"Well, after dinner I went to the main lawn and..." Trudy Platt started.

"Cool story, Platt" Ruzek said intrrupting Trudy before he looked back down to Jay and Erin. "What did you and Erin do, Jay?"

"Just hung out" Jay said swallowing a bite of his scrambled eggs.

"And...?" Ruzek asked sitting back in his seat and folding his arms over his chest.

"And that's it" Jay said quickly.

"Did you go outside?" Adam asked. "I mean you guys have that balcony and all. It's a fine time to sit out there and do anything"

Erin stopped mid chew of her grape and her eyes went to Ruzek as her heart sped up. What did he know? Ruzek only had those shit eating grins when he had a secret on somebody.

"We stayed inside last night, Ruzek" Jay said simply.

"I know what happened last night. Are you not guys not going to tell us?" Adam asked raising an eyebrow.

"Adam" Burgess warned turning her gaze to her boyfriend.

"What?" Ruzek said. "I'm just making conversation with my best friend, Jay"

Jay sat his fork down. "What is it you exactly want me to tell you?"

Ruzek shrugged his shoulders "You know"

"Is it the fact that the White Socks won in extra innings, is that what you want to hear?" Jay asked as Dawson, Olinsky, and Atwater joined the table.

"What's going on?" Atwater asked as the three men sat down at the long table.

"Jay was just telling us about what he and Erin did last night" Ruzek said smiling.

Jay turned his head to look at Erin "Should we tell them?"

Erin shrugged her shoulders' "If they're really dying to know. I'm not going to hide the fact that you proposed to me last night"

"I KNEW IT" Ruzek said standing up from his chair "Roman saw everything that happened on that balcony last night"

Jay and Erin shared a quick glance as they stood to recieve the congraulatory hugs from their friends in the unit.

Jay caught Roman's gaze as Ruzek pulled him to a hug. The look in Roman's eyes instantly told Jay that Roman saw much more than just him proposing to Erin.

"Congratulations, buddy" Ruzek said smacking his best friend on the back.

Jay looked over at Erin who was just being released from an awkward hug from Trudy Platt and was then pulled into a hug by Alvin Olinsky.

"Congratulations, Erin. The rest of the world's been waiting on you two since you met each other" Alvin whispered into Erin's ear as he hugged her.

Erin smiled and closed her eyes as Alvin hugged her "Thank you"

Alvin nodded and pulled back from the hug. Erin felt Jay walk up behind her and she unwrapped her arms from around Alvin as Jay shook Olinsky's hand and wrapped his free arm around Erin's middle and he pulled her into a hug.. Erin smiled and closed her eyes as she hugged Jay back and inhaled his cologne. Her smile widened as she heard Jay murmer against her ear that he loved her. Erin opened her eyes and saw Hank Voight standing and watching them.

Erin pulled back from Jay's arms as she held Voight's gaze. Jay didn't need to turn around to know that Hank was standing behind him. He'd felt his gaze on them for a few moments already.

Erin let go of Jay's hand and walked the few steps over to where Hank Voight was standing. Voight looked down at the ring on Erin's finger and he sighed before a small smile made its way across his face. "Congratulations"

Erin smiled and stepped towards Hank and wrapped her arms around him.

"Thank you" she whispered.

Hank wrapped his arms around Erin as he hugged her. He didn't understand why this was so hard for him. When Justin took Camille's ring to propose to Olive, he was proud. It made him proud to know that through Justin's mistakes in life, he was on the road to something amazing. Why was this so hard for him? Why was letting the girl in his arms go off on the same path so much harder?

Had he accepted Halstead? Sure. It wasn't a question of if Jay was good for Erin, he was. Jay had shown him that and more in the last few months. We're they rushing into this? Yes. That much he did know. He would've liked to have seen Erin and Jay wait before he proposed. He still felt Erin needed more time before she stepped into such a major and emotional transition in her life. His only hope was that Jay Halstead could continue to give that kind of support to Erin.

But them rushing into an engagement, that still wasn't what hurt. He felt like both of his kids were all grown up and gone. Justin and Olive had moved while Justin did his basic training. He only heard from them in phone calls and letters. Now Erin was leaving. She'd marry Jay and she wouldn't come around anymore. No more Sunday dinners, no more late night talks in his office, no more of Erin staying in her old room when a case at work had been too much and she just didn't want to be alone. She'd have a husband to stay with now. And someting inside of Hank Voight began to hurt.

"I'm proud of you" Voight whispered against Erin's ear "Camille would be proud, too"

Erin nodded as she felt tears well in her eyes. She'd have given anything for Jay to have met Camille. The woman who was every bit of the mother she'd always wanted. The thought of disappointing Camille was the only thing that kept Erin on the straight and narrow after Camille had died. She owed that woman so much. Hank Voight had taken her in, that much was true. But it was Camille who'd made that house feel like a home. Who'd treated her like she was her own daughter from day one. She'd shown Erin what it truly was to have a mother and if she and Jay were blessed with kids, she could only hope to be half the mother that Camille had been to her. She knew in that moment she'd give almost anything for Camille to be there with her to help plan a wedding, fluff her vail, teach her how to be a good wife and mother.

"Thank you" Erin said as she pulled back to look at Hank.

Voight held Erin's gaze a few moments and looked over her shoulder at Jay who'd been watching them last few moments.

"Halstead" Voight said with a sigh and he extended his hand to Jay.

Jay stuck his hand out and shook Voight's hand. "Sir"

"You can borrow her, but I'm not going to give her away" Voight looked from Jay back to Erin.

"Thanks" Jay said as he looked at Erin. His blue eyes shining with complete and utter love for the girl standing next to Hank.

"You're fired" Voight said taking a step back.

"Hank" Olinsky said from just behind Jay.

"It was worth a shot" Hank said looking at the expression on everyone's faces.

Was he not allowed to make a joke?

"Tough room" Voight said stepping over to where Alvin Olinsky was standing.

The two men stood in the corner as Erin and Jay stepped towards each other and embraced. The sound of Erin's laughter filled the dining hall as Jay dipped her back and placed a kiss on her neck.

"Do you think the feeling of wanting to rip his balls off and kill him when I see him touch her like that will go away?" Voight asked as Olinsky handed him a cup of coffee.

"It might make family dinners a little awkward. If he can't sit down with your foot up his ass" Olinsky took a drink of his coffee.

"Who'd have ever thought this day would come" Voight sighed as he watched Erin showing off her ring to Burgess and Platt.

"I alway knew it was possible" Olinsky said.

"Really?" Voight asked looking at his friend.

"Yeah, you only have yourself to blame for this one" Olinsky said with a nod towards Erin and Jay.

"How is that?" Voight asked

"Hank, I've been your friend for more than 30 years. I remember the day you and Camille took that girl in. You saved her, you two showed her what love is. And she's found it. You laid this path for her and it's led her here. She's happy, she's healthy, she's everything that you and Camille always hoped she would be. I know that Camille is looking down and she's bursting with pride right now. So if you want to blame someone for this "in house" romance...blame yourself. Cause you're the one who helped lead her to this life, this moment, to Jay" Olinsky took a drink of his coffee and looked at Voight.

Hank sighed and looked down at his coffee. "What's made you so wise all of a sudden?"

Olinsky shrugged his shoulders "I'm always wise. You just need to learn to listen once in awhile old friend"

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	24. You Build Me Up And Then I Fall Apart

**New chapter. Hope you guys like it. I'm going through such "Chicago P.D." withdrawls. It's not even funny. I pretty much go to work, pay bills, write this fanfic, and stalk Jesse and Sophia on Twitter and Instagram. I have to say though, I'm totally digging Jesse's facial hair...and I'm not a beard kind of girl, but he makes it look good. He's so good looking, those eyes...I can't even. I would talk about Sophia, but I'll save you the trouble cause lesbi-honest. I love my boyfriend, but I've girl crushed that woman since I was 16, so we're talking 10 years strong of flat out adoring her. Feels pretty good to confess that to you guys. Anyway, hope you guys are enjoying the Christmas/holiday season. I'll stop rambling now.**

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Erin walked down the hallway of the hotel with her itinerary and hotel map in hand. She studied the map and looked at the doors as she walked, looking for the conference room where the next team building exercise was supposed to take place.

Today had been a pretty interesting day. The team had really accepted her and Jay's engagement with open arms. She had to admit that part of her had been surprised. Not that she expected them to be pissed or anything, but this was a big change not only for her and Jay, but for District 21 and she hoped that it was a change for the better.

Erin couldn't stop smiling everytime she looked at the ring on her hand. For the first time in her life, she was blissfully happy. The kind of happy that she didn't think existed. It's like everything in the past didn't matter now. Her horrible childhood, her stabbing, her therapy sessions. It was the kind of happy that was scary, the kind of happy where part of her was waiting for the other shoe to drop. That pretty much summed up Erin Lindsay's life. The other shoe always dropping. Therapy may be helping her believe the good things about herself, but it doesn't change the facts of her life. But she was going to fight like hell to keep Jay. Jay: this one amazing gift that God himself had sent to her to prove that she wasn't so alone in this world. She knew with that man, she'd make it through anything that life was going to throw at them.

Erin found the room she was looking for and she walked into the small meeting room. She walked in and saw the chairs were formed into a circle and Nadia and Platt already seated.

"Erin, hey" Nadia said with a smile.

"Hey" Erin walked through the opening in the circle and took a seat next to Nadia.

"So, have you and Jay set a date?" Nadia asked reaching for Erin's hand to look at her engagement ring.

"Nadia, he just asked me last night. But I'd like a late summer or early fall wedding. Maybe September or October" Erin shrugged her shoulders as Nadia let go of her hand.

"Like as in September four months from now?" Nadia asked.

"I don't know. September was just a jumping off point. I'm open to anytime. It doesn't have to be what I want" Erin looked down at the ring on her hand and sighed. "Anytime is fine. We can have a long engagement, I mean there are people who are engaged for six or seven years"

Nadia shook her head. "No. Don't do that. Nobody likes long engagements. My friend Lexi, from the NA meetings has been engaged since she was 18 and she's almost 30"

"Don't tell her what to do, Nadia" Platt said.

"I'm not" Nadia said "I'm just making conversation with her"

"I'm just saying, there's no rush for anybody to get married. Especially you Erin. I mean what's Halstead got that I don't have?"

"A penis" Nadia mumbled under her breath before sitting back in her chair.

"Why don't you snort another line, Nadia. I'm not a lesbian. I have plenty of sex with "Mooch" sex that you're not even old enough to hear about Nadia" Platt folded her arms over her chest and leaned back in her seat.

"I didn't really need to hear about that" Nadia shook frowned and shook her head.

"Well, sometimes I think you all think I'm a prude. I'm not. I enjoy sex as much as you or the next person. I do things...all the things" Platt shurgged her shoulders as the door opened and Burgess walked in.

"I don't even want to know what "All the things" consists of" Nadia sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

"I'm just saying. You want some marriage advice, Lindsay? Do all things" Platt turned her head and looked at Erin who had a look of complete horror on her face.

"I don't think that I..." Erin started

"Trust me...if you don't. He'll find someone who will. Sure Halstead's in love now but if you want to keep him in love, then you'll learn to like all the things. No holes off limits, that's my motto" Platt said simply.

"Platt" Erin, Kim and Nadia said in unison. Complete and utter shock and embarrassment radiating over the 3 women.

"Am I not allowed to relate to you girls? I can be as young and hip as you all. Think I don't know about sex" Platt shook her head. "You girls shouldn't be so naive"

"I'm not naive about anything. Especially when it comes to me and Adam" Burgess said as she took a seat next to Platt. "We used to have some serious fun when we were sneaking around before you guys knew about us. Let me tell you that cage has seen some action"

"I don't need to hear this" Erin said covering her face.

"I'm just saying, you and Jay should try it sometime. Nobody goes down there unless there's a perp down there and it's pretty far away from earshot" Kim said. "You can do just about anything and nobody would hear it. Adam can be kind of loud if you catch my drift"

"Oh my God" Erin shook her head as she felt her cheeks burn. This wasn't exactly the trust building she had in mind at the retreat.

**000000000000000000**

Jay pressed the down button on the elevator and waited as the doors opened. He nodded as he came face to face with Sean Roman. Jay stepped on the elevator as the door closed leaving the two men in the elevator.

They stood in silence for a few seconds before Jay finally spoke "So about last night"

Roman shook his head and held his hand up as a cue for Jay to stop talking. "Halstead, if you're worried about me saying something, I'm not going to. But you should really keep that kind of stuff indoors. You're lucky it was me that saw it and not another hotel guest or even worse, Voight"

Jay shook his head "Thanks Roman. I really appreciate it. I'd just hate for Erin to find out about something like this"

Sean nodded his head and thought for a moment. "You're a lucky man"

Jay smiled and nodded in agreement "Thank you"

"I mean Erin Lindsay, look at her. She could have any guy she wanted and she picked you" Roman shrugged his shoulders and turned his head from Jay's.

"Um...thanks" Jay said trying to process if the statement from Roman was supposed to be a compliment or a slam.

"She's really beautiful. I'd hold onto her with both hands if I were you. And after last night, seeing that body...who knew that Erin had all that going on under the jeans and t's she always wears" A small smile formed on Roman's face as he looked at Jay.

Jay was about to respond when the elevator doors opened and Roman quickly walked past him. Jay followed and felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head and came eye to eye with Adam.

"Chasing someone?" Adam asked.

"Something like that" Jay said looking down the hall at Roman who was walking into the meeting room. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure" Ruzek said as he and Jay walked down the hall.

Jay pulled Adam to the side and looked down the hall. "Do you like Roman? Do you trust him?"

Ruzek shrugged his shoulders "He's ok, I mean he's good police. But, his attitude stinks and I think he's into Kim. Kim says that we just need to get to know him, but as far as I can tell, the guy is a complete ass cracker"

Jay shook his head and sighed. "I don't know. I try to get along with the guy, but he makes it really hard sometimes"

Ruzek nodded his head and patted Jay's shoulder "I wouldn't worry too much about Roman. It would only take two hits, I'd hit him and he'd hit the ground"

Jay shook his head as he looked at Adam "Pretty sure this is a team retreat. I don't think I saw ass kicking on the itinerary"

Ruzek shrugged his shoulders "We can always fit it in"

**0000000000000000000**

The rest of district 21 had taken their places in the small circle of the meeting room as the team building retreat leader took his seat.

"Good evening everybody. I hope that you guys had a wonderful dinner here at the historic Grand Hotel. I hope that the retreat is going well for you all. We're going to try something different to wrap up tonight. You don't have to participate, but I'm hoping that all of you do. Because this is the most important exercise of the entire retreat. It's what really bonds you with your coworkers, builds bonds that are hard to break. It's called "If You Really Knew Me" and we're going to go in a circle and I want you to tell the group if you really knew me, you'd know what about yourself"

The group all looked around the circle at each other before looking at the retreat leader.

"Adam, since you're in the first seat. Would you like to go first?" The retreat leader asked.

"Um" Adam sighed "I guess"

"Great" The retreat leader said "Whenever you're ready"

Ruzek looked around the room and ran his hands down the legs of his jeans. "If you really knew me...you'd know...that I like to dip my french fries in mayonnaise. I love reruns of "Boy Meets World" and I thought Bo Bice should've won American Idol...He was the coole-"

"Adam" The retreat leader interrupted "Those are really nice things, but I want to know about you. I think the group would like to know is what makes Adam Ruzek...Adam? Tell them something that someone doesn't know about you"

Adam felt Kim take his hand as he laughed nervously. He squeezed her hand and looked at the group before looking down at the ground. "If you really knew me...you'd know...I always wanted to be a cop. My dad was a cop. He was my idol, and I wanted to be just like him. I think that's what led me to the Chicago Police Department. I would be just like my old man. When I told him I wanted to join the force he looked at me and he said "Son, I don't think that's the life for you. Stick with what you know" I guess in that moment I realized that all this time I thought my dad saw me as his buddy he really just saw me as a disappointment. So, I decided that I was going to join the force anyway. I know how a lot of you see me, some idiot who is usually the butt of the jokes, an easy laugh. But if you really knew me, you'd know that sure, I like to laugh and make people laugh. But I do take this serious. It's what I've wanted since I was a kid and I'm proud to work with all of you and proud to be following my dream. Even if the old man doesn't approve"

"Very good, Adam" The retreat leader said "Kim, would you like to go next?"

Burgess nodded "If you really knew me you'd know that yes, I did start my career out as a flight attendant. But in the back of my mind I always saw myself doing more than just serving drinks and going through a crash landing demonstration every single day. So, this one day we were on board a flight from New York to Dallas, Texas. There was a passenger who had concealed a pocket knife on himself and was on the same flight as an ex that he was stalking. When we were halfway through the flight he made his move. He stormed to the first class cabin and pulled the knife. People were screaming and crying and I didn't even think before I jumped him and he fell to the floor of the plane. I somehow wrestled the knife away from him and managed to hold him down until we could make an emergency landing in Nashville. I lost my job as a flight attendant because of that altercation. I guess it didn't represent what the company was looking for and when I packed my stuff up I heard about the Chicago P.D. looking for new officers. So, I thought what the hell? Why not. I loaded up my car and I came to Chicago. And it's the best decision I ever made. I know that moving up to intelligence used to be my dream, but I think I'm happier where I am. It's nice being in on the action and really seeing it first hand. It's my dream and I get to live it. What more can a person ask for?"

The retreat leader gave Kim a smile and turned her gaze to Platt. "Trudy?"

Platt looked around at the team and gave a smile "If you really knew me you'd know that I have a younger sister. Well, I had a younger sister. I know what you're thinking, why would your parents want to have any more kids after you, Trudy? They got it so right the first time. But they did. Anyway, her name was Rachel. She was coming home from college one night on break and she stopped to get gas. When she went in to pay, a guy came in and pulled a gun. He robbed the place and everyone in it. Rachel, being Rachel, she's a fighter and she tried to fight him off from taking her purse and he pulled the trigger and shot her right in the head. She was on life support for a few days. But we finally realized that there was no hope. She was burried on her 19th birthday. That's when I knew I wanted to destroy criminals. So, I dedicated my life to bringing them to justice"

Kim reached over and placed her free hand on top of Trudy's and gave it a squeeze.

Nadia knew without the retreat leader saying anything that it was her turn. "Well, if you really knew me. Then you'd know that...I was a pretty good kid and I got involved with the wrong crowd. I met a boy when I was 14 and I fell in love. Well, turns out. Said boy, he didn't love me. He loved me enough to get me addicted to drugs. He loved me enough to turn me out to get money for our drug habit. I know I just turned 20 and a lot of you just see me as some kid. That's fine, but I've done more and seen more in the last six years of my life than most people see in a lifetime. If it wasn't for you all taking me in and taking care of me. I don't know where I'd be. I think no, I know that I'd probably be dead. I just wanted you guys to know how much I appreciate the opportunities that I've been given and I'm not going to screw up. I am so thankful to Erin and for the rest of you taking a chance on me and showing me the me that I never thought I could be. I am going to be just like you guys. I can promise you that. This is the life I want and I can't wait until I can finish school and work right with you guys"

The retreat leader nodded "That's really a beautiful tribute to your friends, Nadia"

Nadia nodded and looked around at everyone as the retreat leader spoke "Erin, would you like to go next?"

Erin felt a wave of panic rise over her as she felt the team's eyes on her. Was she ready to share with her district the real reason behind her absense? Like Dr. Sullivan said, she needed to learn to lean on them. So it was now or never.

"If you really knew me...wow. That's such a loaded statement" Erin sighed and she smiled when she felt Jay reach down and take ahold of her hand as a sign of support. "If you really knew me you'd know that I've spent pretty much every single day since I was five years old feeling worthless. My mom loved her next hit more than she loved me and my brother and my dad, he was extremely abusive. I got involved with the wrong friends when I started my Freshman year of high school. They led me down a path that I'm not proud of, but then when I turned 15 I went to live with Hank Voight, he took me in and his family became mine. I feel like the best way to describe my life is that song "Human" by Christina Perri. I know that's kind of stupid to compare your life to a song. But that's how I feel. This past year has somehow been the worst and the best of my life. I know that I'm so blessed and lucky to be alive. If it wasn't for Jay, I'd have died that night on the ship. We all know that, I know that everyone gets tired of hearing that. I can never repay him for that. If I lived to be 100 I couldn't and last night when he asked me to marry him, I thought. Is this real? How can someone like me deserve someone like him? Spending most of my life thinking that I don't deserve love has made me so closed off, but it's like all of you see through that. You guys are my family"

Erin finally looked up, she was almost afraid that she was going to see looks of judgement for what she said, but she didn't. All she saw was support and love and for that she was truly thankful. Erin squeezed Jay's hand and she looked over at him and smiled as he took his turn.

"If you really knew me...I never saw myself in intelligence. I really liked working undercover until I got shot and then when I had the opportunity to movie up. I took it. It was the best decision I ever made. Because if I wouldn't have, I don't know where I'd be. When I was deployed with the Army Rangers, I saw things that no person should have to see. Dying kids, murdered civillians, coming home I had a lot of anger and I took it out on the wrong people, sometimes I still do. I'm really trying to work on it, the thing of it is, I don't want to end up like my old man. I never quite felt good enough for him. I enlisted in rangers to get out of that house and away from him. We never really saw eye to eye and when I was deployed I got a letter one day that he'd died. I know I should've felt something, but I didn't. I felt nothing. And to this day, I still don't. He was an alcoholic, verbally abusive. Made my mom, my sister, and my lives hell. If I can sit here and tell you anything that I know beyond a doubt, it's my kids will never have to worry about me becoming that. I won't be my dad. Ever" Jay shook his head and he looked over at Erin when he felt her hand squeeze his.

He smiled at her and mouthed "I love you" before turning his head to look at Atawater who was seated next to him.

"Guess it's my turn" Kevin said "If you really knew me, you'd know that I grew up on a rough side of town. My mama's prayers and my little sister are what kept me off the street. I love the city of Chicago, I love the people of that city, and I love all of you. I'd take a bullet for anybody in this cirlcle in a second. I am thankful that I am one of the only people out of my high school graduating class that isn't on the street or involved in drugs. I saw how hard my mama worked to keep me and my sister out of that life. She's still so young and I don't want to see her ever turn to the street or anybody on the street. I'll bust my ass on that street for the rest of my life as long as it keeps my mom and my sister safe"

Antonio Dawson nodded and raised a hand to Atwater's shoulder as a sign of support.

"If you really knew me" Dawson started "I am in the process of trying to get my wife and kids back. A day at a time is how Laura and I are taking it, but without them. I feel like a failure. Sure, I love this job. But, I love my family more. And I feel like I've reached a point that if Laura asked me to walk away from this job, I would. Like I said, I love this job and I do love all of you. But you young ones coming up in this unit, in this district, you have to realize that you need to not consume yourselves with this life. You need to leave work stuff at work. If that's the only advice I can give you. Don't bring the stress of work home like I did. Because you lose the things that you love the most when you put work before the people you love. I know that everyone strives for the top, but it's lonely at the top. So, I guess the whole point of what I'm saying is If you really knew me, you'd know not to follow in my footsteps. Family first. Always"

Dawson looked at the circle of his friends and then over at Olinsky.

"I'm not very good at this emotional stuff" Olinsky started "So, I want to start by agreeing with Dawson. One forgotten birthday, or anniversary, one missed recital or play...that turns into two, three, ten. You can't get that stuff back. I know with our line of work, that we can't be everywhere. But just try to keep your priorities in line. So, I'll finish by saying "If you really knew me, you'd know that I spent a lot of time living in my garage. One day I left for work and my daughter was hanging on my legs, One day I came home and she couldn't care less that I existed. Just don't lose sight of your priorities. However, I'd also like to say that in knowing all of you, I'd go above and beyond for any of you. You guys are the best people that I know. I'm proud to know each and every one of you. It's a damn fine family to be a part of"

Voight cleared his throat as he thought of something to say "If you really knew me. I was a lot like all of you when I first started out in this force. I thought the world was at my feet and in some aspects it was. Things happen in Chicago that we don't like. But, it doesn't mean that it's not the greatest city in the world. I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't be afraid to take risks. It's where the most reward is. You guys sitting in this circle are the best of the best. You wouldn't be here if you weren't. So, with that being said I hope we can continue to only become a stonger unit when we get home"

Roman looked at the group as their eyes fell to him. "I don't have anything to say. I pass"

"Sean you should really try to-" The retreat leader started.

"Listen, I appreciate the idea of this. It's nice and all, but this isn't who I am. I don't share things. So I guess that can be my thing. If you really knew me. You'd know I'm a private person and I don't share things with people. So, if you'll excuse me. I think I'm going to go back up to my room"

"Roman" Voight called. "This session isn't over"

"It is for me" Roman said standing up and walking to the door.

"Roman" Voight said again.

"What?" Sean Roman said. "What do you want? I'm not going to tell you shit about me. But I've got some secrets on this unit. Ya'll claim that you're some family? That's bullshit. How about the fact that if you all aren't fucking each other you're fucking each other over. Some family"

And with that statement Sean Roman walked out the door and slammed it behind him.

00000000000000


	25. On A Day Like Today

**Two Weeks Later**

Erin walked up the steps of the precinct and sat down at her desk. She'd been back to work for a week now and she couldn't put into words how good that it felt. She looked at the clock on the wall and couldn't believe that the day was already coming to an end. Erin looked across the room at Ruzek and Atwater who were sitting at Atwater's desk watching "The Sneezing Panda" for the millionth time. Her gaze drifted over to Olinsky and Dawson who were both at their desks finishing up for the day. Erin couldn't help but feel like things were finally getting back to normal.

Normal? Now that was a word to take with a grain of salt. If anything the next few months were going to be far from normal. Sure, work wise things were better than ever. The retreat had brought the district even closer and Erin was slowly realizing what Dr. Sullivan had been talking about, she wasn't alone. And she had to admit, having people to rely on? That felt better than any therapy session she could pay for.

Erin looked up at the clock and then over at Hank Voight's office. The door was closed, but she could see through the open blinds that he was on the phone. She silently hoped that he wouldn't be too long. He was supposed to come with her to meet with her wedding planner.

Erin looked down at the ring on her hand and she smiled. She and Jay had set a date and booked a venue for their wedding. The meeting with the planner was to set out the details of what they wanted. Erin still wasn't used to the idea of planning an actual wedding. She would've been happy going to the courthouse and just keeping it simple. But once she saw the Chicago Cultural Center she was hooked.

It was perfect, she knew it the moment that she did the walkthrough with Jay that it's where she wanted to get married. The only problem was she and Jay would probably be paying for the wedding for the rest of their lives, and she was only halfway joking with herself.

"You ready, kid?" Voight asked startling Erin out of her thoughts.

"Yeah, let's go" Erin said standing up from her desk.

"You heading out?" Dawson asked looking at Voight and Erin.

Hank nodded "Yeah, when you finish the file on the drug bust down from this morning just drop it on my desk. I'll check it over and turn it in when I come in tomorrow morning"

"Will do" Dawson said nodding his head before going to work to finish up the file before he left for the night.

**00000000000000**

"Are you sure Halstead is going to meet us here?" Voight asked as he and Erin pulled up in front of the wedding planner's office and he killed the ignition.

"Yes. He and Burgess just finishing up with the drug bust down at the park. Then he said he'd be on his way" Erin looked out the window of Voight's SUV and into the display window of the store at the wedding items that were on display in the window.

"Are you sure you're still wanting to go through with this?" Voight asked "Cause I've got a full tank of gas, we can just start driving and not stop"

Erin shook her head and moved to take her seatbelt off. "Yes, I'm sure"

"Well, if you change your mind" Voight shrugged his shoulders as he watched Erin open the passenger side door

"Can we go inside now?" Erin asked raising an eyebrow. She turned her head and went to get out of the car when she felt Hank grasp her arm. Erin turned her head and looked back at him.

"Hey, I just thought you should know that I have some money saved and I'd like to help you and Halstead with the wedding" Hank said. His gaze holding Erin's.

"Hank, I couldn't ask you to do something like that" Erin shook her head as she looked at Voight.

"You're not asking. I'm offering and I have enough money squared away to give you and Halstead a nice wedding" Voight said simply. His gaze not leaving Erin's.

"I can't..." Erin said shaking her head.

"Erin, just let me do this for you" Voight looked in the rear view mirror as Jay's car pulled up behind them.

"You're always doing too much for me" Erin said quietly

"Well, you do for family. I want you to have the day you've always wanted. You deserve it, Kid" Voight opened his door and got out.

Erin sighed and she followed Voight out of the car. She smiled when she saw Jay walk up to them. "It's about time, Halstead"

Jay removed his beanie and pulled Erin into his arms and into a hug. "I'm sorry. Traffic was heavy from closing the road by the park to clean up and investigate"

"I hope you're hungry because we're going to try out some cakes tonight" Erin wrapped her arms around Jay as he pulled her into a hug. She closed her eyes as she breathed in his cologne and she sighed as she felt him place a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm all for cake testing. But I'd rather taste you" Jay whispered against Erin's forehead and she smiled as she opened her eyes.

"You're such an idiot" Erin pulled back from Jay as Voight walked up to the young couple.

"Are you two going to break that up or charge admission?" Voight asked as he walked up to Erin and Jay. "This is a respectable part of town. Act like you belong here"

Jay watched as Voight turned his back and started walking towards the wedding planners store. "He's really warming up to us, don't you think?"

**000000000000000**

Erin walked around the showcase room of the wedding store at the cake displays hand in hand with Jay.

"What about this one?" Jay asked pointing to the six tiered cake with chocolate fondant and strawberries framing the tears of the cake.

"Absolutely not" Erin shook her head.

"Why not? I like chocolate. You like chocolate. Ruzek said to make sure we have some kind of chocolate cake at the wedding or he's not coming" Jay sighed as he flipped over the price tag of the chocolate and strawberry cake and he frowned.

"Can we make a few wedding decisions without Adam Ruzek's opinion? I mean I know he's your best man and all, but you're marrying me not him" Erin sighed and she walked over to the next display.

"Are you going to remind me of that everyday?" Jay asked as he followed Erin.

"Remind you of what?" Erin asked as she continued down to another display.

"Nothing" Jay said shaking his head.

"If you've got something to say Jay, just say it" Erin said turning around to look at him.

"I don't have anything to say, why are you trying to pick a fight?" Jay asked defensively.

"I'm not. You're the one who is picking the fight. I'm just telling you I don't want that cake" Erin raised an eyebrow as she gestured back to the chocolate cake a few tables back.

"You don't have to have a mood swing about it. If you don't want the cake we won't get the cake" Jay threw his hands up defensively as a sign of defeat.

"I'm not having a mood swing. If you want the damn cake, get the damn cake. I. Don't. Care" Erin furrowed her brows and exhaled deeply.

"I don't want the cake. Why are you freaking out over nothing?" Jay asked stepping towards Erin.

"I'm not freaking out over nothing. This isn't nothing. This is our WEDDING. It's not some frat party for you and Ruzek" Erin shook her head. She didn't know why she was so pissed, and she hated herself even more for the tears that were welling in her eyes.

"Erin, what is wrong?" Jay stepped towards Erin and she shook her head and stepped back.

"Don't. I'm fine" Erin shook her head. She just felt overwhelmed. This past week had been a lot to handle and she just wasn't feeling like herself. She hadn't really felt like herself since they'd came back from the retreat, but she just gave it up to stress.

Stress was the focal point of Erin's life, so stress on top of wedding planning wasn't the greatest combination.

"Baby, come here" Jay said stepping towards Erin again.

Jay reached his arms out and wrapped them around Erin and pulled her to him. "I'm sorry"

Erin sighed as she relaxed in Jay's embrace and she wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, too. I don't even know where that came from"

Jay shook his head and kissed her temple. "It's ok"

Erin shook her head "It's not. I should learn to listen to what you want. It's your wedding too"

Jay ran his hand around Erin's back and sighed. "Erin, I didn't even want the cake. It's not about that. I'm worried about you. I don't want you thinking that this has to be some epic event. Baby, I'd marry you on the street corner right now if that's what you wanted. We don't have to have some black tie affair for the world to know how I feel about you"

Erin pulled her head back and her hazel eyes met Jay's. "You are too good to me, Jay Halstead"

"Well, I'm just immune to your mood swings. Plus, you're kinda hot so it somehow evens itself out" Jay tilted his head to the side as he looked at Erin.

"Oh?" Erin raised an eyebrow as Jay tightened his grip around her.

"I'm going to miss you tomorrow night when I go the sting with Ruzek and Roman" Jay raised his hand up and brushed Erin's hair behind her ear.

"I wish I was out there with you guys. I don't want to sit in a car with Atwater all night" Erin sighed as her gaze fell from Jay's.

Jay was about to respond when the wedding planner walked up.

"Sorry to keep you two waiting I'm Natalie. If you'd care to join me in the other room I have some cake samples for you guys" Natalie shook Erin and Jay's hands and took off towards a room at the back of the store.

Erin and Jay followed and took a seat at the table where Hank Voight was already seated.

"I thought you left" Jay said as he pulled out Erin's chair for her and took a seat beside of her.

"I'm the tie-breaker" Voight said looking at Jay "I'm only here to help you two find a cake that's edible"

Jay nodded and looked over at Erin who was watching Natalie bring out the tray of cakes and icing samples. Natalie laid the tray on the table and went to grab a bottle of Sparkling Grape Juice for the table.

"Ok, since we're starting with an empty slate, I thought that I'd just give you a little of what we have to offer. Most couples have been going with two or more cake flavors, instead of the typical one flavor" Natalie explained as she took a seat at the table with her order form. "The cake flavors I have for you today are: Vanilla, Chocolate, Red Velvet, Strawberry, Marble, Chocolate Cream Cake, Golden Deluxe, Devil's Food, Carrot, Rum Banana, and Vanilla Cream Cake"

Jay and Erin nodded as Natalie passed out forks to everyone. "I'm going to go get the other icing samples. I'll be back"

**0000000000000000000**

An hour and WAY too many cake samples later Erin and Jay were still undecided. Jay put his fork down and sat back in his chair.

"I can't eat anymore. I'm getting the cake sweats" Jay shook his head as he looked at the tray of cakes and icing in front of him. "You guys decide"

"I think three flavors" Erin said putting her fork down. "I like red velvet with cream cheese frosting, vanilla with buttercream frosting, and chocolate with peanut butter buttercream"

"Works for me" Jay said wiping his mouth with his napkin.

Andrea nodded and wrote the order down on her paper. "So we're going with a three layer wedding cake how many people are we feeding?"

"We are thinking one fifty with friends and family" Erin pushed her plate away from her and grimaced as a wave of nausea came over her.

"You ok?" Voight asked looking over at her.

Erin nodded and forced a smile. "Yeah, too much cake on an empty stomach"

Voight nodded and sat back in his chair. "So what is the price range for a cake like that?"

Andrea looked at her paper and started pushing buttons on her calculator. "A three tiered cake for 150 people will run you about 1500 dollars"

"For a cake?!" Jay asked

Andrea nodded "Mr. Halstead, our individual slices are ten dollars a piece. If you're looking for a cake to feed 150 people at ten dollars a slice that's 1500 dollars"

Jay shook his head "Yeah, and no disrespect to you. But a cake, is made of flour and water"

"Jay" Erin said placing a hand on his knee.

"I'm sorry, but my first car didn't cost 1500 dollars" Jay sighed and sat back in his seat.

"Jay. Stop" Erin narrowed her eyes at him and Jay looked away from her when he felt her icy stare.

"Do you offer a military discount?" Voight asked "Halstead did a tour with the Army Rangers"

Andrea nodded "Yes, of course. I can cut it down to 900"

"900 dollars? That's reasonable. It takes it to what...six bucks a slice" Voight spoke from his seat.

"We'll take it" Erin said looking away from Jay and over to Natalie.

**00000000000**

Erin frowned as she reached into her medicine cabinet for some Tylenol. Her head was aching and she just wanted to crawl in bed and go to sleep. Her hot shower had taken away the nausea from all the cake, but the dull ache in her head was still persistent.

"You know you could've backed me up at the cake testing" Jay said as he stepped out of Erin's shower and wrapped a towel around his waist.

"What did you want me to say, Jay?" Erin asked as she opened the Tylenol and poured two into her hand.

"I don't know, Erin. How about agreeing with your fiance when we're getting taken advantage of over something that we could go to Walmart and buy and make for 50 bucks" Jay tied the terrycloth towel at his hip as he walked over to the mirror where Erin was standing and grabbed his toothbrush and the toothpaste.

"Well you were wrong. And we got the discount. I don't see what the big deal is" Erin plopped the Tylenol in her mouth and grabbed her bottle of water and took a drink as she swallowed the pills.

"I'm not. Anybody would agree with me about this. She was trying to stick it to us" Jay put his toothbrush in his mouth and started brushing his teeth.

"No. She wasn't. You're being ridiculous right now and a pain in my ass" Erin walked out of her bathroom and over to her bed as she started taking the small pillows off and dropping them to the chair next to her bed.

"I'm not. I'm right about this, Erin" Jay said his mouth full of toothpaste

Erin shook head and pulled the blankets down from the bed "No, you're not. You embarrassed me tonight"

Jay spit his toothpaste out and rinsed his mouth and toothbrush before stepping out of the bathroom. "Oh please, I embarrassed you? What about that little outburst over the cake? Do you not think that embarrassed me?"

"Oh spare me, Jay. I was simply telling you I didn't want a cake. Don't even start. You were the one sitting and insulting someone to their face" Erin turned and faced Jay and folded her arms over her.

"Spare you? Are you kidding me right now? You're the one who freaked out over nothing. I was just stating a fact about money" Jay walked over to the dresser and grabbed a pair of boxers and dropped his towel and slipped them on and over his hips.

"Are you going to pick that towel up or leave it sit like you do everything else?" Erin asked nodding towards the towel on the floor as Jay walked to the laundry basket to get a clean pair of pajama pants.

"Oh my God, can you give me a minute before you start nagging me?" Jay shot as he started to get slip his pajama bottoms on.

"I'll just do it myself" Erin said walking over to where the towel laid on the floor.

"I told you I'd do it, Erin" Jay watched as Erin picked the towel up and walked over to the clothes hamper.

"You know how that cake costs money? Well, it costs money when you leave a wet towel on the carpet and it causes mold" Erin shot as she dropped the towel onto the floor.

"Mold? What the hell are you talking about?" Jay asked walking over to her.

"Nothing. I don't know...I don't know" Erin sighed and she turned around to face Jay as he walked up to her.

"Babe, what's going on? Is there something wrong?" Jay asked as he reached up and ran a hand down Erin's arm.

"No. I'm just stressed out from work and the wedding planning and I shouldn't be taking it out on you" Erin sighed and looked down at the carpet. "I'm sorry"

Jay shook his head "You don't need to apologize. I just wish you'd use other ways to relieve your stress on me instead of biting my head off"

"Are you sure you want to marry me? I mean these mood swings are full force sometimes" Erin sighed and ran her hand down Jay's bare chest

"I think I kinda like you. And we already put a deposit down on the venue and that cake...so...yeah, I'll marry you, Erin Lindsay" Jay smiled down at Erin and ran his hand up to the strap of her tank top and pushed it off of her shoulder.

"No way" Erin said shaking her head and raising her hand to her tank top strap.

Jay leaned down and nuzzled Erin's neck "Are you sure? I mean if you need to work some stress out. I've got a pretty big stress reliever"

Erin smiled as she felt Jay place a kiss on her neck. "Gross"

"Gross?" Jay repeated pulling back to look at Erin "I don't recall you ever having complaints about it before. In fact, I'm pretty sure the only thing that usually leaves those lips is my name"

Erin shook her head and stepped back from him. "You're an idiot. Can we go to bed now? We have a big day tomorrow"

"If we have to" Jay sighed and watched as Erin walked over to the bed and got in.

**000000000000000**

Erin sat down at her desk and rubbed her temples. The dull headache that she had last night was a full on throb this morning. She grimaced as Ruzek walked up the steps with a box of fresh Krispy Kreme Doughnuts.

"Let's get these bitches" Ruzek said as he walked around passing out doughnuts. Adam loved going on stings. Sting days were what he looked forward to the most out of his job.

"What's with the doughnuts?" Atwater asked as he picked his doughnut and sat it on a napkin.

"Well, I thought we could all use the extra buzz a doughnut gives. I don't want to stereotype us, but everyone loves doughnuts" Ruzek said as he walked over to Erin's desk and opened the box.

The smell of the warm confectionery treat waffed out of the box and Erin had to fight the urge to gag as she smelled them. "No" she said through gritted teeth.

"Ok. Well not everyone then" Ruzek said closing the box and taking a seat at his desk.

"Listen up" Voight said as he walked out of his office "We're going to be at the 2900 Block of West Fillmore just north of Douglas Park. We want to cover our bases on all exits off of the Eisenhower Expressway. As you all know the stretch of interstate is called "The Heroin Highway" Well, not anymore after today. Our CI told us that the biggest heroin sell is coming out of an old house close to the expressway ramps. I want Ruzek, Roman and Halstead to stakeout the main house in question. Atwater and Lindsay, I want you two to take the onramp on the west side, Dawson, Olinsky and I are going to take base in the parking lot of the gas station just down the block. That way we have good camera footage and can get a view of both the house and the on ramp to the expressway. Burgess is our decoy for this mission. We're going to try to get her in the house and see what's going on inside. Everyone got it?"

Voight looked around at his team sitting at their desks and nodded back as they all gave him a nod of understanding. "Ok, let's roll out"

**0000000000000000**

Kevin slammed on the brakes of the car as he was cutoff by a driver on the road. "What the hell"

Erin knew now why she insisted on driving. Everyone else was terrible at it. "Atwater, do you think you can keep it at an even pace? You're making me car sick"

"I'm just trying to go get us some lunch. We've been sitting in the car all morning and I am craving some chili cheese tots and a Chicago Dog from Sonic" Atwater explained as he turned his blinker on and turned into the fast food restaurant. "Don't you want something to eat?"

Erin shook her head "No, I'm pretty sure the last thing that I want is food"

"You need to eat. You know what you need? A chili cheese Coney dog. I'm going to get you one" Atwater said as he pulled up to the drive-thru.

"Really, I.." Erin started.

"You'll like it" Atwater said as he placed the order and pulled forward.

A few minutes later the worker handed the bag of food out the window and Atwater started down the road. The smell from the bag was making Erin's stomach roll. She was going to be sick. Erin closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. "You're going to have to pull over"

"What? There's nowhere..."Atwater said as he looked over at Erin.

The color on Erin's face was a mix of white and green as she raised her hand to her mouth. "I'm serious...pull over"

Atwater flipped the switch to turn the lights of the undercover car on and he pulled over to the shoulder. Erin reached for the door handle and opened it and before the car had even come to a complete stop Erin bent over and vomited on the pavement.

Atwater put the car in park and held his hands up. The look of disgust on his face as he listened to Erin heave.

"Oh God" Erin groaned from the passenger seat.

"You ok?" Atwater asked reaching his hand down to pat Erin on the back.

"I don't know" Erin sighed. "Do you have a tissue?"

"Um...I don't know" Atwater said looking around the car for one. He pulled open the fast food bag and grabbed a few napkins and tapped Erin on the shoulder.

"Thanks" Erin said reaching over her shoulder to take the napkins. She wiped her mouth and dropped the napkin onto the pavement before sighing.

"Are you sick?" Atwater asked as Erin shut the car door and leaned back against the headrest.

"I don't know" Erin closed her eyes as she tried to will her stomach to settle.

"What did you eat?" Atwater asked reaching down for Erin's water and handing it to her.

"I haven't eaten today" Erin opened her eyes as she felt Atwater nudge her. She took the water and opened the car door and rinsed her mouth out before taking a small sip. "It must've been all that cake I had last night"

"Are you ok now?" Atwater asked

Erin nodded and looked over at Kevin. "Yeah, I'm ok"

"Ok. Good" Atwater said as he put the car in drive and signaled back onto the highway.

"Do me a favor. Don't tell Jay about this" Erin looked out the window as Kevin drove down the road.

"Ok. I won't tell" Atwater assured.

**000000000000000**

Jay and Roman crept along the back side of the drug house as they held their guns in front of them.

Burgess had scored the evidence they were looking for and all they needed was the signal for the take down.

"Man, I am telling you when we end this tonight, I'm going to have to get Kim to bring that undercover outfit over. She looked so damn good" Ruzek whispered as he and Jay snuck around the back of the house.

"Ruzek, Please" Jay whispered back as he stepped up on the back step.

"What? Can I not talk about how hot my girl is?" Ruzek watched as Jay reached down and twisted the handle of the doorknob.

"No" Jay whispered as he slowly opened the back door that Kim had unlocked for them.

Jay and Adam silently made their way down the hallway and turned the corner and down to the living room of the house.

Kim caught a glimpse of Jay out of the corner of her eye as she watched the group of dealers and suppliers gathered round the table.

"Chicago P.D. hands in the air" Ruzek shouted as he and Jay came around the corner and the front door of the house was knocked down as Olinsky, Voight and Dawson came running in.

The dealers and suppliers stood up from the table and held their hands up.

"Get on the ground" Voight ordered pointing his gun at the group of people.

Voight radioed for back-up as the team started to zip tie the dealer and suppliers' hands behind their backs. As the team started to search the house for anyone hiding.

"God, that really gets your blood pumping" Roman said as he followed Jay up the steps.

"That it does" Jay said as he walked down the hallway holding his gun.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to that feeling" Roman said as he looked over his shoulder at Ruzek who was heading down the opposite way looking in the rooms.

The sound of a gunshot rang through the house and Roman, Jay and Ruzek all jumped. The door opened to reveal a thin, white, bald head man with tattoos and piercings covering his body. His face showed the bearings of a life long drug habit. Roman fired his gun and struck the assailant in the shoulder and the guy fell to the ground. "I got him" Roman shouted.

Ruzek came running down the hall past Jay to help Roman. "We got him, Halstead. He's ready to go downstairs"

Ruzek tightened the zip tie around the wrists of the man and stood up "Did you hear me, Halstead?"

Ruzek turned and saw Jay bent over. "Jay?"

Jay reached his hand down to his side and pulled his blood covered hand out. He exhaled as he looked at his hand and fell to his knees.

"Shit" Ruzek yelled as he ran over to where Jay was kneeling on the ground "Officer down" Ruzek screamed

Adam helped Jay roll onto his back as Jay struggled to take a breath. "You're fine, buddy"

Jay coughed and shook his head as he felt everything starting to get fuzzy. "Erin..."

Adam shook his head "She's with Atwater"

Jay nodded "I...love...her"

Adam said "I know you do man"

Jay struggled to take a breath as he looked at Ruzek "Tell her"

Adam shook his head "No, you'll tell her"

The sound of the ambulance on the city street was the last thing Jay heard as his blue eyes fluttered closed.

0000000000000000000

**Please Review...Please? I'd appreciate any feedback. It makes it so much easier to update. Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas/Holiday. :-)**


	26. If I Didn't Have You

**One more week until Chicago P.D. comes back! Am I the only one who didn't know that Jesse was Bobby Brady in the Brady Bunch Movie? As if I needed a reason to love that movie more. Everyone do yourself a favor and Youtube it. It's so corny and amazing and Jesse as a little boy, is everything...he's just everything. So cute**

**000000000000000000**

The ambulance pulled up to Northwestern Memorial Hospital they'd made the 17 mile trip in no time. The trauma team opened the doors to the ambulance and Gabriela Dawson updated them on the man laying on the stretcher as he was unloaded.

"29 year old male, GSW to the upper chest. BP is 80/50 and heart rate is bradycardic at 54 BPM. He's hypoxic on his left side. Possible collapsed lung or pleural effusion. No sign of an exit would. Central line was started on scene and we've been pumping fluids en route" Gabriela explained as she followed the doctors through the ER behind Jay's stretcher.

"Bullet could've ricocheted. One of yours, Dawson?" the doctor asked.

"Yeah, he's one of ours. Um..he's got a fiancee so please do what you can" Gabriela explained as she looked through the doors as the doctors worked on Jay.

"We will" The doctor assured as he patted Gabriela's shoulder and walked into the trauma room

"Let's get a complete work up. Page CT and have them get down here with a sonography machine to see if we can locate a bullet" The doctor explained walking up to the trauma bed.

"Pupils are equal and reactive to light" A nurse said as she held Jay's eyelid's open and shined a light into them.

"Looks like the bullet entered at the arm hole and has embedded itself in the left side" Another doctor said as they removed Jay's bullet proof vest and cut his shirt off of his body.

"Decreased breath sounds on the left side. BP is 75/55" A nurse explained as she took a reading.

"Let's intubate and get him upstairs" The doctor ordered as a nurse broke open a intubation tube and tilted Jay's back and inserted the tube down his throat.

**000000000000000000**

Erin ran into the hospital as Atwater parked the car she quickly made her way up to the nurses desk.

"I'm looking for a man who was just brought in. Jay Halstead" Erin explained panic and fear clouding her voice.

"One moment" The nurse said holding up her hand.

"I don't have a moment. I need help!" Erin raised her voice at the nurse sitting across from her. "So get off your ass and go find out where he is"

"Excuse me?" The nurse asked standing from her chair. "Maybe I should just call security and have them escort you out"

Erin exhaled shakily as she looked down at the desk. "He's my fiance. Could you please find out where he is. He was shot"

"Ma'am. If you take a seat I will let you know as soon as I know something" The nurse narrowed her eyes at Erin and sat down and went back to typing on her computer.

Erin shook her head as the tears she was trying to fight welled up and spilled over. She took a shaky breath as she walked over to where the waiting room chairs were.

She wasn't expecting to come back from her break with Atwater and see ambulances' at their sting, and she sure wasn't expecting to see Jay being loaded up in the ambulance.

Erin sat down in one of the empty chairs and put her head in her hands. Here it was, the other shoe dropping. Life's cruel joke that Erin Lindsay wasn't allowed to be happy.

"Erin" A voice called from the elevator.

Erin raised her head and saw Hank Voight stepping off of the elevator. She stood up and went walking over to him. "Where is he? They won't tell me anything. I don't know what's going on"

Hank looked at Erin and he felt his heart breaking as he watched the tears rolling down her cheeks. He looked over at the empty quiet room and gestured towards it. "Let's go in here"

"Why?" Erin asked as Hank pulled her into the small room and shut the door.

"Sit down" Hank said as he looked at Erin and took a seat on the small couch.

"What the hell is going on?" Erin asked taking a seat.

"Jay is in surgery. The bullet hit in between his arm and the hole in his vest. He has a collapsed lung, some broken ribs from the impact of bullet hitting his vest. The bullet ricocheted and tore through his chest wall and missed his heart by 4 millimeters. So about the width of a fingernail is what kept the bullet from hitting his heart" Voight explained as he reached over to touch Erin's hand.

"Is he still alive?" Erin asked. She felt her stomach turning and had to fight the bile from rising in her throat.

Voight nodded. "Yeah, he's still alive. He's still in surgery. They're repairing the damage that the path of the bullet caused"

Erin sighed a shaky breath of relief as she wiped the fresh tears from her eyes. "I'm going to be sick"

Voight didn't have time to respond before Erin got up and ran out of the quiet room.

**000000000000000000**

Erin barely made it to the bathroom before her stomach heaved. She felt embarrassmed as she heard the bathroom door open and someone come in. Why not make the day better by letting someone listen to her being sick?

When she was done Erin wiped her mouth and flushed the commode. She ran a hand through her hair and opened the stall door and saw Kim Burgess leaning against the bathroom wall. "Hey"

"Hey" Erin replied walking past Burgess and over to the sink to rinse her mouth out.

"So, how far along are you?" Kim asked walking over to the sink.

Erin rinsed her mouth and grabbed a paper towel to wipe her mouth. "What are you talking about?"

Kim leaned against the sink and shook her head. "You're kidding me? You're pregnant, right?"

"No" Erin said shaking her head "I'm not...I'm not pre...pregnant"

Kim put her hand on Erin's shoulder and raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

Erin nodded "Yeah...I'm on the shot"

"When was the last time you got your shot" Burgess asked

Erin looked down at the ring on her hand and the realization that she hadn't had her shot since she did her psych hold when Voight forced her to stay. "Shit"

Kim stepped towards Erin and said "Hey..hey it's ok. It'll be fine"

Erin shook her head and leaned over and put her elbows on the sink and her head in her hands. "How did this happen?"

Kim shrugged her shoulders "Erin, I'm not sure how to tell you this. But sex. Sex is where babies come from"

Erin raised her head off of her hands and gave Burgess an icy glare.

Kim looked away "Sorry. Not the time for jokes"

"What am I going to do?" Erin asked. She felt panic rising. How could she have forgotten her shot? The one thing she ALWAYS remembers. God, she couldn't be a mother. What could she even offer as a mom?

"Just relax. Maybe you're not even pregnant. Platt had a stomach bug a few days ago. Maybe that's what you have too"

"I can't be pregnant" Erin shook her head as tears welled up in her eyes.

She needed Jay. She needed the comfort that only he could give her. But that wasn't going to happen. Because the man that she loved was currently in surgery fighting for his life.

And here Erin stands, in the bathroom of the hospital. Scared, worried, alone, and...pregnant?

**000000000000000000**

Five hours had past since Jay had went into surgery. It was almost one in the morning. Everyone was crowded into the waiting room on the surgical floor.

Erin was curled up onto the couch in the waiting room with her feet curled up under her. She had her sweater spread over her and her head rested on her hand. Her eyes were getting heavier as she tried to focus on the episode of "Family Guy"

Adam Ruzek walked into the waiting room with a to go bag of food from Ihop. He nodded to Voight who was in the corner talking to Olinsky and Dawson as he walked over to the couch where Erin was sitting.

He sat down next to her and Erin turned her gaze to look at him.

"I got you something to eat" Adam said reaching down into the bag.

Erin shook her head "I don't want it"

Ruzek sighed as he reached into the bag and pulled out the silverware and napkins. "Erin you're going to eat something if I have to hold you down and force you to eat it"

Erin raised her head off her hand and sat up on the couch. She did have to admit whatever was in the bag did smell amazing. "What is it?"

Ruzek pulled the box out of the bag and handed it to Erin. "Buttermilk pancakes, bacon and hash browns"

Erin smiled and took the box and grabbed her fork and a syrup container. "Thank you"

Ruzek smiled and reached into the bag and pulled out his container. He pulled it onto his lap and opened it. "MMMM"

"What is that?" Erin asked taking a bite of her syrup covered pancake.

"It's a bacon white cheddar melt and fries" Ruzek smiled and reached down into the container to pick up half of his sandwich.

"Could I have a piece of it?" Erin asked as she swallowed her pancake.

"But you have that" Ruzek said gesturing to the container of food on Erin's lap.

"Yeah, but that looks really good" Erin answered looking over at Adam.

"Well, do you want to trade?" Adam asked.

"Oh no. I want this. I just want to try yours" Erin said simply as she took another bite of her pancakes.

Ruzek sighed and cut part of his sandwich in half and handed it to Erin. "Could I have some of your bacon then?"

Erin took the part of sandwich that Ruzek gave her and took a bite of it. "No. This is mine"

"Well, that's kind of selfish" Ruzek frowned and looked down at his food. He looked over at Kim who was shaking her head no at him as a silent plea for him to shut up.

Adam looked over at Erin and made a face when he watched her dip the bread of his melt into the small container of syrup. "Gross"

**000000000000000000**

It was almost three in the morning when the doctor came out. He took his surgical mask off and stepped into the waiting room.

Erin stood up and walked over to where the doctor was standing. Voight and the rest of the team stood up and walked over to the doctor.

"Erin, hi I'm Dr. Amato" The middle aged man extended his hand and shook Erin's hand.

"Hi. How's Jay?" Erin asked.

"He's stable. We were able to go in and repair the damage that the bullet caused. However, we did have to cut into his leg to use an artery to repair some damage done in his chest cavity. Jay's very lucky, I was able to repair the damage without cracking his chest open. And the bullet came to stop less than an inch from his heart and any bypassed any major arteries" Dr. Amato explained.

"Is he going to be ok?" Erin asked. She felt Voight's hand come up to her shoulder and squeeze it in a sign of support.

Dr. Amato nodded "He's in recovery. He'll stay in the hospital for a few days until we're sure he's stable enough to be released"

"Can I see him?" Erin asked

"Yes ma'am" Dr. Amato said. "I want to tell you that he's intubated with a tube going down his throat. It's to aid in his breathing so there's not so much stress on his heart and lungs after such an invasive surgery"

Erin nodded and took a breath "Ok"

Dr. Amato nodded "If you'll follow me. I'll take you back to him"

Erin followed Dr. Amato down the hall and to the post op rooms of the hospital. The rooms were all dark and quiet since it was the middle of the night. The two continued their walk down the hall and came to a stop at a room with glass windows just in front of the nurses' station.

"He's right in here. It's well past visiting hours, but I'll let the nurses know to give you a few minutes. Jay is under a lot of sedation, so don't really expect to get a response from him. But feel free to talk to him" Dr. Amato encouraged.

"Do you think he'll be able to hear me?" Erin asked

"There's a possibility" Dr. Amato said. "If you need anything, just let the nurses know. I'll be back in the morning to check in on Jay"

"Thank you" Erin said looking over her shoulder at Dr. Amato.

"You're welcome" Dr. Amato said he shook Erin's hand one last time and walked down the hall.

Erin watched him leave and she took a breath and walked into Jay's room.

**000000000000000000**

The room was quiet as Erin walked in. Jay laid still on the bed. The blanket covered him to the middle of his chest and his arms laid straight beside him. He had a blood pressure cuff attached to one arm and an IV and a pulse oximeter on his other arm. The vent tube that came out of his mouth that aided his breathing was taped to the side of his mouth as the medicine being pumped into his body kept him asleep.

Erin felt her stomach turn as she slowly walked over to him. She sat down in the chair next to his bed and took ahold of his hand.

"Hey" Erin took a shaky breath as the tears welled up in her eyes. "What were you thinking going upstairs like that?"

The sound of the ventilator and the beeping of the heart monitor attached to his chest was the only noise that filled the room.

Erin couldn't fight the tears as they spilled over her eyelashes and down her cheeks. "You can't leave me. Please. I need you. You promised me that we are going to be together forever. We're supposed to get married..."

Erin's voice trailed of as she held tighter to Jay's hand and she ran a hand over her flat stomach "We're supposed to have babies"

Erin kept her eyes down on the hand that was on her stomach. "If I'm pregnant. I don't know what I'll do without you. I need you to wake up and come back to me. I can't face this without you. So please...Jay, please don't leave me. We can get the chocolate cake that you and Adam want. I don't care about any of that. I don't care about the wedding or food or invitations or my dress...well maybe my dress. But none of that matters without you. You saved me. This past year, it's all been you and everything that you've done for me. Everything that you've sacrificed for me. I want to be able to give you the things that we've talked about. A home, a life, a marriage, a family. So, I'm gonna need you to come back to me"

Erin couldn't fight it anymore. The sobs that she'd tried so hard to hold in wrecked her body and she laid her head on top of Jay's hand and cried.

**000000000000000000**

Hank Voight walked down the hospital hallway at the start of visiting hours. He turned the corner and stopped in the doorway of Jay's room. Erin was still sitting in the chair next to Jay's bed. Her head was resting against the headrest. She watched Jay through heavy eyes and the dark circles she had told Voight that she'd not slept. Every few moments her eyes would close and just as she'd drift off her head would fall to the side and she'd wake herself back up.

Hank walked into the room and he reached down and placed a hand on Erin's shoulder. "Erin, you need to go home and get some sleep"

Erin shook her head and kept her eyes on Jay's sleeping form. "I'm fine. I just need some coffee"

Voight knelt down until he was level with Erin. "Kid, go get yourself some sleep. I'll stay here"

Erin turned her gaze from Jay's bed over to where Voight was knelt down next to her. "What if he wakes up and I'm not here?"

Voight frowned and looked over at Jay before looking at Erin. "Then I'll tell him where you are"

Erin shook her head "I'll stay"

Voight stood up and reached down for Erin's arm. "You need to go get some rest. If anything happens good or bad. I will call you. The sooner you go back to your place and rest, the sooner you can come back here. Jay's in the best place that he can be, kid. They'll take good care of him. So do yourself a favor and take care of yourself"

"I'll have to call a cab" Erin's voice was caked with exhaustion as she spoke.

Voight shook his head "Burgess is in the waiting room. She'll take you home"

Erin nodded as she stood up and the hot tears welled as she looked down at Jay. There wasn't any change from last night. She should know. She had sat in that chair all night watching the machines.

She felt her heart breaking as she bent over him and placed a kiss on his cheek before raising back up.

She saw Kim standing in the doorway of Jay's room as she raised up. She squeezed her eyes shut as everything around her got fuzzy and she stumbled back into Voight's grasp.

"You ok?" she heard Voight ask.

"Yeah...yeah...I'm fine" Erin forced a smile. "I just stood up to fast"

Hank eyed Erin suspiciously, but he didn't press he on it. At least not yet. "Burgess, take Erin back to her apartment. Make suere she stays there"

"Yes sir" Burgess said as Erin walked over to her.

**000000000000000000**

"I can't go in there and get it" Erin said as she sipped on her orange juice.

"At least if you go in and get it, you'll know. Either way" Burgess looked over at Erin as the two sat parked outside of CVS pharmacy.

"If I take it and I'm pregnant. What am I going to do?" Erin looked down at the bottle of orange juice and tried to will he hands to stop shaking.

"I don't know" Burgess said honestly. "But, you'll figure it out. You and Jay always do. And you never know, this could be the beginning of something you've always dreamed of"

"Do you think I'd be a good mom?" Erin asked looking over at Kim.

Kim smiled at Erin and nodded "I think you'd be amazing. Erin, I know that we don't get to work together a lot, and I hope that changes one day. But you're one of the strongest, kindest, most loving people that I know. If this is happening, I couldn't imagine a luckier baby. You and Jay will be fine. We'll all be here for you guys, so don't think that you're on your own"

Erin nodded and she looked out at the pharmacy but didn't move to get out of the car.

"Do you want me to go in and get it for you?" Burgess asked.

Erin simply nodded and her shaking hand gave the money over to Burgess.

"I'll be right back" Kim said as she got out of the car and went into the pharmacy.

Burgess walked in and down to the aisle that she was looking for. She walked down to the end of the aisle and scanned the boxes and she grabbed one off the shelf. Burgess walked down towards the register and she felt someone ran into her.

"Watch it"

Burgess instantly recognized the voice and she bent down to pick up the box she'd dropped from the impact of the collision. "Platt. What are you doing here"

"This is America, Burgess. I don't know how far you went in school, but you should've learned this is a free country and I can go where I want when I want" Platt said looking down at Kim who stood up and concealed what was in her hand.

"I just meant, I thought you lived on the other side of town" Burgess held the pregnancy test behind her leg as she looked at Platt.

"I am going to see Halstead if you need to know my business. What are you trying to hide?" Platt asked.

"Nothing" Kim said as she felt her pulse quicken.

"What's in your hand?" Platt asked folding her arms over her chest.

"Nothing...see" Kim said holding up her empty hand.

"Nice try, Burgess. What do you have?" Platt asked reaching for what Burgess had in her hand.

"It's nothing" Kim said as she tried to twist her arm away from Platt's.

"Oh God. You can't be serious" Platt said as she caught a glimpse of the pink First Response pregnancy test box in Burgess' hand.

"Platt. It's not what..." Burgess started.

"Does Ruzek know?" Platt asked.

Kim thought for a minute. She looked out the windows at where her car was parked. She couldn't rat Erin out, so she sighed and shook her head. "No. He doesn't know"

Platt rolled her eyes "I can't believe that you were this stupid, Burgess. You've ruined your life now. You're never going to get to go up to Intelligence now"

"I might not even be pregnant. I can pretty much guarantee you that I'm not" Burgess shifted in her spot as she felt Platt's gaze on her.

"Oh, please. You're pregnant. It's in your hips" Platt said.

"What?!" Burgess said looking down at her slender frame.

"I just hope it's not as dumb as Ruzek is. He couldn't find his way out of a paper bag" Platt shook her head.

"I have to go" Burgess said. "Do me a favor and don't tell anybody about this. Let's just keep it covered for now"

"Keep it covered?" Platt repeated. "Maybe Ruzek should've kept himself covered and this wouldn't have happened"

**000000000000000000**

Voight watched as the newest nurse that was assigned to Jay came in and took his vitals.

"How's he doing?" Voight asked

"About the same" The nurse said not looking up from Jay's chart. "Gun shot wounds to the chest seem to be pretty serious"

"I wasn't looking for a smart ass remark. I was asking how one of my men are" Voight narrowed his eyes at the nurse who looked up from her chart.

"His vitals are stable. The catheter bag is showing good urine out put. His drainage tubes look clear and the surgical site looks good. He just needs to take it upon himself to wake up" The nurse looked away from Voight and back down to Jay's chart.

Voight really wanted to lay into the nurse, but he took a few moments to compose himself knowing he had promised Erin he'd stay where he was and he knew that any threat or outburst would surely get him escorted out of the hospital. So he ate and forced a smile "Thank you"

The nurse didn't respond. She laid Jay's chart down and walked out of the room leaving Hank alone with Jay.

Voight sighed and thought for a minute as he looked at Jay.

"Halstead, I don't know if you can hear me or not. So, I'm just going to say something to you that I don't really even want to say. I was wrong. I was wrong about you and your intentions with Erin. I apologize for the way that I've reacted to you two over the last few months. I know that it hasn't been favorable. But you took it, and that really showed me something. I don't do inhouse romance, because bad things happen when you get distracted from your job. But, I think from day one it was going to happen with you and Erin. I'm pretty sure it was beyond even my power to stop it. So whatever fight you've got left, Halstead. You need to use it. Erin's come so far since her attack and I've never seen her as happy as she is when she's with you. She's like Camille and I always wanted her to be. And Olinsky was right. I wasn't exactly the smartest person pairing the two of you together in a car day in and day out. But, if you die...that's it for Erin. You know that and I know that. She won't come back from this, Halstead. So you're going to have to wake up. You took a bullet for your team and I know that there's no greater act than a man who would lay down his life for his brother. But Erin needs you here. So, you need to give her the things that you promised her that you'd give her. Don't break a promise, Halstead"

**000000000000000000**

Erin put the pink lid back on the white stick and sat it down on the sink. She looked in the mirror at her reflection and sighed.

Three minutes.

In 180 seconds her life could change forever.

Was she ready for this? Was Jay ready for this? How were they going to afford this? Where were they going to live? Her apartment? His place wasn't big enough for him and her. Let alone him, her and a baby.

And what if Jay dies? Her heart couldn't take the thought of that even happening.

Of course she wanted a baby. She wanted nothing more than to have a life and a family with the man that she loved. She wanted to be the kind of mother she only had in Camille. But she didn't know if now was the right time. She and Jay weren't even married yet. And Voight? God, the thought of his reaction was enough to make her want to throw up.

The sound of the timer beeping startled Erin from her thoughts and she picked the white stick up from the sink and flipped it over just as the phone rang in the background.

**000000000000000000**

**I can't thank you guys enough for reading and reviewing this story. I know that so many of you write your own stories and believe me there are ones I've read that are beyond words amazing. It takes a lot of nerve to put something out there and have other people give their opinions on it. So, I can't stress enough how much I appreciate all of you taking your time to write me a small review. With anything, I know that some chapters are better than others, it's a work in progress. I'm sure it always will be. But the point of my rambling is just to thank each and every one of you. So thanks! And HAPPY NEW YEAR!**


	27. Everybody Waits For You Now

**Chicago P.D. is back this week! I'm so excited ya'll. I can't wait. I've been getting by on Linstead Youtube vids. They're so good. I don't know how people even make them. Is that bad that I'm 26 and I legit don't know how you make Youtube video? **

**0000000000000000000**

Erin walked through the elevator doors as they opened and quickly down the hallway to where Hank Voight was standing.

"What happened?" Erin asked as she made her way up to him.

Hank hadn't told her anything on the phone. Just that she needed to come to the hospital as soon as she could get there.

"He's awake" Voight said.

Erin felt her heart finally slow back to a normal rhythm. "Can I see him?"

"The doctors are in there with him right now. They're checking him out right now. So we have to wait out here until they're done" Voight took Erin by the arm and walked her down the hall to the small waiting room at the end of the hall.

"I should wait out in the hall" Erin looked back down the hall as Hank pulled her down to the room.

"I think you need to sit down. You look like you're going to pass out" Voight said as he held opened the door to the waiting room.

"I'm ok" Erin said as she walked into the small room.

Voight let the door fall closed behind him and he gestured over to the empty love seat that was against the wall. "Just sit down and relax for a minute. Jay's doctors know where to find us. You'll get to see him as soon as they're done working on him"

"When did he wake up?" Erin asked walking over to the small love seat and sitting down.

"About half an hour ago" Voight explained "He didn't like having the tube down his throat so he had a really bad time coming out of his sedation"

"Is he ok?" Erin asked fidgeting in her seat.

"He's stable" Voight said looking over at Erin and he put a hand on her shoulder in support.

"Have you slept?" He asked his gaze not leaving Erin's.

Erin shook her head "I couldn't. I had too much going on at home"

Voight sighed. "Erin, the whole point of you going home was for you to rest"

"I KNOW" Erin said snapping at Voight. She narrowed her eyes as she folded her arms over her chest.

"Alright" Voight raised his hand off Erin's shoulder and he excused her outburst without a reply.

Erin shook her legs and she looked down at her hands. "I'm sorry"

Voight cleared his throat and wrapped an arm over Erin's shoulder "It's ok, kid. It's been a long 24 hours"

Erin exhaled as she felt a wave of nausea come over her and she exhaled deeply as she tried to breathe through it.

"You ok?" Voight asked as he eyed her.

Erin gritted her teeth and nodded.

Voight looked at Erin as he watched the color drain from her face "Erin, if you're sick. Maybe you should just go home. You don't need to make Jay sick. I'll tell him that you aren't well enough to be here"

"I'm ok. It's just nerves" Erin forced a smile as she felt the wave of nausea pass.

Voight nodded and the door opened and Dr. Amato stepped in. "Erin, if you'd like to come back and see Jay, he's ready to be seen"

Erin nodded and looked over at Voight before standing up. She walked a few steps and turned back to look at him. "Are you coming?"

Voight shook his head. "No, I'll let you go. I'm actually going to head over to the precinct and get caught up on some work. If you need anything, just give me a call"

Erin nodded and tuned back to follow Dr. Amato out the door.

**0000000000000000000**

Dr. Amato walked down the hall with Erin following behind him. They made their way to Jay's room and Dr. Amato gestured towards the door. "He's going to be really groggy. We've taken the tube out of his throat but we've given him oxygen because his oxygen level is a little low"

Erin nodded as she looked at the closed door. "What would've caused that?"

Dr. Amato scratched his chin. "A number of things. He's been through a pretty invasive surgery and the IV medication that he's been given has a hand in it. His oxygen levels aren't dangerously low, it's around 91% and normal range is 95 to 100%"

Erin wrapped her sweater tighter around her as she listened to Dr. Amato. "Is 91% bad?"

Dr. Amato furrowed his brows as he spoke "91% isn't great, but it's not horrible in this case. When your oxygen levels fall below 92% then the oxygen can't penetrate the red blood cells very well, and since your red blood cells are responsible for carrying oxygen through you body, it can cause problems if it's left untreated for too long"

Erin nodded as tears started to well in her eyes. Dr. Amato smiled and touched Erin's shoulder in a sign of support "Miss Lindsay, I can assure you that we're taking very good care of your fiance. It's like I said his low levels are from the medication and the stress his body endured from surgery. The oxygen he's on has brought the level up within normal range. It's really a precaution and it's better than him being on a vent which can lead to pneumonia. He'll be ok, would you like to go in and see him now?"

Erin nodded and used the sleeve of her sweater to wipe her eyes. "Yeah, I'd like that"

Dr. Amato smiled and reached for the door and he pushed it open and walked in.

Erin walked behind Dr. Amato and she smiled sadly as she saw Jay laying on his bed asleep. The vent tube was gone, replaced with the oxygen tube that was around his face and up his nose. He still had the heart monitor connected to his chest and the IV still in his arm.

The sound of Dr. Amato walking over to the side of Jay's bed caused his eyes to flutter open.

"Mr. Halstead, how are you feeling?" Dr. Amato asked.

"Tired" Jay whispered. His voice low and scratchy from where he'd had the tube down his throat.

"That's to be expected" Dr. Amato said as he checked to monitor that was keeping track of Jay's heart rate.

Jay's gaze focused over Dr. Amato's shoulder at Erin who was standing at the foot of his bed. The corners of his mouth turned into a weak smile and he raised his arm off of the bed as a cue for her to come over to him.

Erin walked over to Jay and reached for his hand as she took a seat on his bed. Her eyes welled with tears as she looked down at him.

Dr. Amato finished a note on Jay's chart and after explaining that he'd be back tomorrow, he silently let himself out of the room.

Jay turned his gaze from the door closing behind Dr. Amato to Erin. "You're beautiful" his scratchy voice whispered.

Erin half laughed half sobbed as she reached down and hugged Jay. Jay bit back a groan as he felt Erin hug him. His body was feeling the effects of the surgery and he was sore. But he'd take the discomfort of having this beautiful girl in his arms over being pain free any day.

"I was so scared" Erin said into Jay's neck. She wasn't ready to leave his embrace. Not just yet.

"I'm ok" Jay assured. "It's not the first time I've been shot. I mean the first time led me to meeting you. So it really didn't end all that bad"

Erin pulled back and she sat up and took ahold of his hand. Careful of the IV that was taped to the top of his hand. "I'm sorry"

Jay frowned as he looked up at Erin. "For what?"

Erin looked down at Jay's hand and she tightened her grip as she spoke "A lot of things. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you, I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up. I'm sorry about all the wedding drama that I'm forcing on you. Maybe we should just put that on the back burner for now. Focus on getting things back to normal"

"What?" Jay asked as he looked up at her. "You don't want to marry me?"

Erin shook her head "No...I do. Of course I do. I want that so much. I just want you more. I don't need a fancy party. I just need you"

Jay shook his head as he reached his hand over and adjusted his hospital bed up so he was in more of a seated position. He frowned as the new position made his body ache. "Erin, where is this coming from?"

Erin shrugged her shoulders "I don't know. I've just had a lot on my mind in the last day or so"

"Baby, is there something going on I don't know about? Is it Voight? Is it work? Cause you know you can tell me anything" Jay assured.

Erin looked at Jay and she forced a smile as her hazel eyes searched his blue ones.

Through the panic of Hank telling her to come to the hospital she'd forgotten to look at the pregnancy test that was sitting on the bathroom sink of her apartment. She'd take care of it when she got home tonight. For now though, she just needed to focus on her fiance. The man who needed her. So she did the only thing she could think to do, She forced a smile and lied "No. There's nothing going on"

Jay looked at Erin and sighed. He knew there was something wrong. He just didn't know what was bugging her. He knew he should believe her, but something told him that something wasn't quite right. "You need to get some rest"

"I'm not going anywhere" Erin said moving from Jay's bed to the empty seat that was next to him.

Jay hit the button to put his bed back and he sighed as the ache in his muscles subsided once he switched positions on the bed. "Erin, please go home and get some sleep. I'll be fine"

"I'm ok. I want to be here with you" Erin reached over and took Jay's hand.

Jay squeezed Erin's hand and he yawned as he tried to fight the effects of the medicine.

"You should get some sleep" Erin scooted her chair closer to Jay's bed and yawned.

"Erin, seriously go home and come back in the morning. You're not going to get any rest here. Baby, please" Jay let go of Erin's hand and lifted it up to her cheek.

Erin leaned her head into Jay's hand as she felt him run his hand across her cheek. "I'll be back first thing in the morning"

Jay nodded and weakly smiled up at her. "Good"

Erin didn't want to leave. She wanted to stay with Jay, but he had a point. Her bed did sound amazing and so did the hot shower she really wanted to take. "I'll see you in the morning"

Jay let his hand fall from Erin's cheek as she stood up. She leaned over him and kissed him on the lips before pulling away. "I love you"

Jay smiled and looked up at Erin. "I love you, too. Please get some sleep"

"I will" Erin promised as she walked towards the door. She gave one last look over at Jay who already had his eyes closed and was drifting off to sleep.

**0000000000000000000**

Erin stepped off the elevator and stopped in her tracks when she saw Kim Burgess sitting in front of her apartment door.

"Um...hey" Erin said pulling her keys out.

"Hey" Kim said standing up. "Did you take the test?"

"I did" Erin said walking over to the door and putting her key in.

"And?" Kim asked tilting her head to the side.

"I forgot to look at it" Erin unlocked the door to her apartment and stepped inside.

"What? How do you forget to look at your pregnancy test?" Kim asked. She folded her arms over her chest and tapped her foot on the floor.

"I had to go see Jay" Erin leaned against the door frame and reached her hand up and rubbed the back of her neck.

"Is he ok?" Kim asked.

"He's awake" Erin gave a small smile as she thought about Jay and how thankful she was that he was awake. Man, she needed to get to church soon. Cause this past year while so completely messy, ended up being one of the most blessed of her entire life.

"Are you going to take the other test tonight? I mean there's two in the pack" Burgess asked.

"I don't know, Burgess. Can you get off my back about it. I'll take it when I take it. You shouldn't even be here. It's late" Erin spat as she looked at Kim.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I just...I don't know...I thought we could actually be friends, Erin" Burgess shook her head and grabbed her purse off of the floor by Erin's door and turned to walk away.

"Wait" Erin called after her.

"It's fine, Erin. I'll see you at work" Burgess said pressing the button on the elevator.

"It's not...I'm sorry" Erin stepped out of her apartment. "I'm sorry. It's just been a really long day. I've not slept in like twenty-some hours. Do you want to come in?"

Burgess thought for a minute and nodded. "Sure, I'd like that"

Erin sighed and gave Kim a slight smile. Kim had been nothing but a friend since she'd known her and she'd especially been a good friend in the last 24 hours and if anything that's exactly what Erin needed right now, a friend.

"Are you hungry?" Erin asked as she and Kim walked into her apartment.

"I'm starving actually. And Platt thinks I'm pregnant" Burgess put her purse down on Erin's kitchen island and turned to face Erin.

"What?" Erin asked shutting her door.

"Platt thinks I'm pregnant. So if you could maybe take the test so I don't have to answer to her tomorrow, I'd appreciate it" Kim leaned against Erin's kitchen island as she repeated herself.

"Can I take a shower first?" Erin asked setting her keys down and slipping her shoes off.

"Yeah. I'll make us something to eat" Kim said walking over to the cabinents in search of something to fix.

"I'll be back" Erin slipped her sweater off of her and hung it over the back of the kitchen chair.

**0000000000000000000**

Erin stepped out of the shower and wrapped her towel around her. She looked at the sink at the box that was sitting on the bathroom sink and with shaking hands she reached into the box and grabbed the wrapper covered stick and unwrapped it.

Erin quickly took the test and put the cap back on and sat the stick on the sink. She walked out of the bathroom and put a pair of leggings and a tank top on before running a brush through her hair and pulling it into a pony tail.

Erin walked out of her bedroom and to the kitchen where Kim was making spaghetti. "That smells good"

Kim looked over her shoulder from where she was stirring the pot of sauce. "Thanks. I hope you don't mind that I used some of the tomatoes you had in your fridge"

"I don't mind" Erin pulled the stool out and took a seat. "I didn't know that you could cook"

Burgess shrugged her shoulders "I don't cook that much. I usually don't have anybody to cook for"

"What about Ruzek?" Erin asked covering her mouth as she yawned.

"Adam, actually cooks for me" Kim turned the stove off and she grabbed the pot of spaghetti noodles and walked over to the sink to drain them.

"Ruzek cooks?" Erin asked with a slight laugh.

"Yeah, he's actually a really good cook" Burgess said as she poured the pasta water out.

"I had no idea" Erin looked over at the clock on the wall and she felt her stomach flip flop as she realized it was time to go check her test.

"I'd invite you over to my place so that Adam could cook for you and Jay sometime, but my place is about the size of a shoebox. But we could always do it some place else" Burgess kept her back to Erin as she moved the pot of noodles back to the stove.

Erin slipped off of the stool and she slowly walked into her bedroom and over to the bathroom. She stopped in the doorway as she took a few deep steady breaths as she looked at the stick sitting on the sink.

Time stood still as Erin took the few steps over to the sink and she picked up the stick and closed her eyes as she turned it over.

"No matter what it says. It's going to be ok" Erin thought to herself as she slowly opened her eyes and looked down at the stick.

"Erin?" Burgess asked walking into Erin's bedroom "Are you ok?"

Erin could hear Kim talking, but she felt like she was having an outer body experience. Like Kim's voice was just an echo in her apartment. The only thing that she could focus on was the stick in her hands.

"Erin?" Kim asked rounding the corner and standing in the bathroom doorway. "Dinner's ready"

Erin nodded as she kept her back to Kim. "I'll be there in a minute"

Burgess leaned against the doorframe and she looked at Erin "Are you ok?"

Erin nodded and she slowly turned to face Burgess. "I'm pregnant"

**0000000000000000000**

The next morning Ruzek walked up into the precinct and started towards the steps to go upstairs.

"Hey Ruzek" Platt called from her desk.

"Yeah?" Ruzek turned around in his spot.

"Are your legs broken?" Platt asked shrugging her shoulders.

"No" Ruzek looked up at the stairs and then back at Platt.

"Well then get the hell over here" Platt narrowed her eyes at Adam and used her hand to gesture him over.

"Damn" Ruzek said under his breath as he walked over to the desk. "Something I can help you with?"

Platt scoffed a laugh and looked at Ruzek. "Well, you can start by wiping that smile off your face"

Ruzek's smile fell and he narrowed his eyes at Platt. "Something the matter?"

"Yeah...there is. You're an idiot" Platt reached under her desk and grabbed a folder of paperwork.

"What's this?" Ruzek asked as Platt dropped the folder in front of him.

"Fill it out and turn it back in. I have to file it for you" Platt watched as Ruzek opened the folder and skimmed it.

"I don't need this. What is this? A family medical leave? Paternity leave? This is the wrong paperwork" Ruzek raised an eyebrow at Platt as he shut the folder.

"Yes you do. You need to fill it out, so that you can get your medical leave. I mean I know that protecting yourself isn't your thing, but this will give you time with Burgess to take care of they baby" Platt pushed the folder back towards Ruzek and rolled her eyes.

"What are you talking about? Baby? What baby?" Ruzek asked.

"Your baby, Ruzek. My God, I knew you were dumb, but I didn't think you were that dumb" Platt rubbed her temples. The conversation she was having was giving her a headache.

"Kim's pregnant?" Adam asked. The realization of what was happening and the folder in front of him was finally setting in.

"Um, yeah. Don't act like you didn't know" Platt rolled her eyes and started organizing some paperwork.

"Pregnant?" Ruzek repeated the color draining from his face. He felt his chest tighten and his lungs lose air.

"You knew that, Ruzek" Platt said not looking up from her paperwork.

"Preg...pregnant?" Ruzek repeated.

Adam leaned into the desk as he felt his knees start to shake. How the hell did this happen? He made sure that he and Kim were ALWAYS careful when they were having sex. Everybody used everything they were supposed to use. He wasn't ready to be a father. Down the road? Sure. Now? Not even close.

"You didn't know?" Platt asked looking up from her paperwork at Ruzek.

Adam couldn't find the words to speak, so he just shook his head no.

"Oh, well don't I feel like an ass" Platt sighed as she looked at Ruzek and then down at her paperwork. "Oh well. At least you know now"

Ruzek looked out the precinct doors as Kim and Roman walked in.

"Morning Platt, Ruzek" Roman said as he walked past the desk and down the hall.

"Hey" Burgess smiled as she walked up to Adam and Platt. She placed a hand on Ruzek's shoulder.

"He...he...hey" Ruzek managed to finally say.

"You ok?" Burgess asked as she looked up at him.

"Fine...I'm fine...I'm fine" Ruzek stumbled over his words as he started to back away from Kim.

"Do you want to get a coffee before you go upstairs?" Burgess asked taking a step towards Ruzek.

"Um, I really need to get upstairs" Adam held his hand up and Burgess stopped in her steps from where she was walking towards him.

"Um, ok" Burgess watched as Adam backed away from her and turned on his feet and went up the stairs.

"What do you think that was about?" Burgess asked leaning against the desk.

"I have no idea' Platt said not looking up from her paperwork.

**0000000000000000000**

Erin sat in the doctors' office and she looked around the room at the various women who were seated around her. All of them at various stages of pregnancy. Erin took a deep breath and twisted her engagement ring around her finger.

"Nervous?" a voice from beside her asked.

"Something like that" Erin answered as she looked over at the girl who was sitting next to her.

"Is this your first?" the girl asked.

Erin nodded "Yeah, at least I think so. I mean this is more of a confirmation appointment. I took a test and it was positive"

"Congratulations. I'm Brittany by the way" The girl said extending her hand to Erin.

"Erin" Erin shook the girl's hand and let it fall to her lap. "So, is this your first?"

Brittany nodded. "Yeah, It's a little unexpected. My husband and I haven't been married that long"

"Well you're doing better than me. I'm not even married. Just engaged" Erin looked down at her ring and smiled sadly.

"Well, my husband and I eloped so, don't feel too bad. It wasn't any glamorous wedding" Brittany shrugged her shoulders and flipped through her magazine.

"Where'd you elope?" Erin asked. For some reason talking to this girl was actually calming her nerves.

"Vegas. We actually didn't know each other that long before we got married. He works in the city actually, he's a firefighter" Brittany smiled as she spoke proudly of her husband.

The realization of who this person talking to Erin was finally set in. "Kelly Severide?"

"Yeah, you know him?" Brittany asked looking up from her magzine.

"Um, yeah...something like that" Erin sighed and forced a smile.

She'd never personally met Brittany Severide, only heard about her and of all of the places for the two to finally meet. It had to be here.

"Wait, you said your name's Erin? Erin Lindsay?" Brittany closed her magazine and turned to face Erin.

"That's me" Erin said. For some reason she suddenly felt uncomfortable with Brittany's gaze on her.

"So you and my husband...have..." Brittany's voice trailed off.

"It was a long time ago. And it was really just the once" Erin assured.

"Talk about a small world, right?" Brittany asked with an awkward laugh trying to break the sudden tension between the two of them.

"You can say that again" Erin looked back down at her ring. The sudden nervousness coming back over her.

"Well, hey. What are you going to do? I mean we're both adults. There's no reason to let this be awkward" Brittany said.

"Of course not" Erin assured.

"I'm just going to step out in the hallway and get a drink" Brittany said standing up from her chair and grabbing her purse.

"Are you ok?" Erin asked.

"Yeah...I'm fine. It was nice meeting you, Erin" Brittany said over her shoulder as she turned and walked out of the doctors' office.

"So much for not awkward" Erin whispered to herself.

"Erin Lindsay?" A nurse called from the door.

Erin looked up at the nurse and stood up. Her legs felt like Jell-o as she walked towards the door to go back in the exam room.

**0000000000000000000**

Erin sat on the exam table her bare legs dangling off the end of the table. The pink paper gown she was wearing was straight from the pages of Vogue and matched the gauze that was taped to her arm from her blood work so well.

She couldn't believe this was happening. All because she got wrapped up in the stress of life and forgot to come in and get her birth control shot. How stupid could she have been? The one thing that she was supposed to do, she didn't. Jay was going to freak, and Voight? Hell, he'd just had a heart attack. This news would for sure kill him. After he killed Jay of course.

A knock on the door startled Erin and she gave a forced smile as the doctor came in.

"Ms. Lindsay, I'm Dr. Amanda Backus. How are you today?" Dr. Backus asked as she politely smiled and shook Erin's hand.

"I'm ok" Erin answered as she shook the doctor's hand.

"I understand that you took a pregnancy test and it came back positive" Dr. Backus said lookin at Erin's chart as she took a seat.

"Yeah" Erin nodded as she twisted her ring on her finger.

"Well, your blood work has been sent off to check for any genetic abnormalities. I'd like to do a quick ultrasound to confirm pregnancy and see what's going on. Is that ok with you?" Dr. Backus asked.

"Yeah" Erin said with a nod.

"Great" Dr. Backus said with a smile and she stood and washed her hands and slipped some gloves on.

A nurse came in and set up the ultrasound machine. Erin watched as the nurse took the ultrasound wand and slipped a condom over the the long tube. "How ironic" Erin thought to herself.

"Ok, Erin. If you just lay back and put your feet in the stirrups we will start the ultrasound" Dr. Backus walked over to stand at the bottom of the exam table by Erin's legs and helped her slip her bare feet into the stirrups.

Erin laid back on the exam table and tried to will herself not to cry. This is what complete and utter humiliation must feel like. Erin watched as the nurse squirted some lubricant onto the ultrasound wand and hand it to Dr. Backus.

"Just relax, Erin" Dr. Backus gave Erin a small smile and pulled the paper blanket covering Erin's knees up to her thighs.

Erin winced as she felt the wand slide into her and she kept her eyes on the ceiling until she heard it.

The unmistakeable "Woosh Woosh" that filled the room. The rhythmic, strong and steady beat of her baby's heart.

Erin's gaze instantly went to the screen as Dr. Backus turned the monitor to where Erin could see. "This is the amniotic sac" Dr. Backus said pointing to the dark circle on the screen. "And this. this flicker right here...that's the heart. Very strong and very healthy. I'd say from the looks of it you're around almost 7 weeks"

Erin couldn't take her eyes off of the flickering on the screen. There it was. The proof she needed. The perfect thing that she and the man that she loved had created.

Baby Halstead, barely the size of a peanut yet, completely and simply perfect.

**0000000000000000000**

**I really hope that you guys liked this chapter. As always, I'm open to any suggestions that you guys may have on what you'd like to see happen. It snowed where I live for the first time this winter. Have to say, I'm already over it. I need my flip flops, Please review and thanks for reading! **

**I do have a question for you guys regarding the Linstead wedding in this story. **

**Should they wait until the baby comes?**  
><strong>Move the wedding up?<strong>  
><strong>Keep the wedding date and Erin just be pregnant?<strong>

**Or no wedding at all? **


	28. I Hear Trouble In The Land

**Thanks so much for the reviews and the feedback everybody! So, since you guys gave me your opinion, we're going to have a wedding with Erin and a baby bump. Can we take a minute and talk about those Linstead scenes in the newest episode? That last scene, I was dying. I loved that hug so much...so much. I would say I can't wait until next week, but I don't want to go there and say "Linstead's going to kiss next week" and then it not happen. The writers sure like to lead us on. But, here's to hoping that we get the kiss that we deserve, and not just some glances across the room. Hope that you guys like this chapter.**

**00000000000000**

Adam Ruzek walked into the hospital and down the hall to Jay's room. It was almost midnight and he probably should've just went home, but he needed to talk to his friend, ne needed advice. So, as soon as he was able to leave work for the night he came to the hospital. Adam flashed his badge at the nurses station as he walked past and down to Jay's room and took a seat in the chair. Adam flipped the light over Jay's bed on and sat back down.

"I need to talk to you" Ruzek said as he pulled his chair closer to Jay.

Jay's eyes fluttered open and he looked over at Ruzek who was gazing at him.

"About?" Jay asked. He groaned as his chest radiated with pain and he struggled to take a deep breath as he looked at his best friend.

"I got Burgess pregnant" Ruzek said and exhaled as he ran a hand through his hair.

"What?" Jay asked becoming more alert.

"Kim's pregnant" Adam said again. He couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth.

"Are you serious?" Jay asked as he winced and took a deep breath.

"Yeah, I'm serious. What am I going to do?" Ruzek asked.

"I don't know man. It'll all work out" Jay said reaching a hand up to push his oxygen further up his nose.

"That's your advice? It'll work out?" Ruzek said "Jeez man. You're losing it"

"I'm sorry" Jay said as he struggled to take a deep breath.

"Well, what would you do if you got Erin pregnant?" Ruzek asked.

"Erin's on the shot" Jay furrowed his brow and coughed as he took a breath.

"But what if she got pregnant?" Ruzek asked.

"I don't know. I don't know if now would be the right time for her and I to have a baby. I'd like us to have a solid start to our marriage before we even talk about kids" Jay turned his head to look at the ceiling.

"So what am I supposed to do about KIm?" Ruzek asked.

"Just talk to her man. That's what you need to do" Jay's words came out in strangled breaths as he tried to take a deep breath.

"You ok?" Ruzek asked standing up from his seat as he looked at Jay.

"I...can't...breathe" Jay groaned and as his breathing became more labored.

"I'll go get someone" Ruzek said as he started out of the room.

Adam took off running down to find a nurse and once he did he grabbed her by the arm. "I need help"

"What's the problem, sir?" The nurse asked as she looked at Adam.

"My best friend. He can't breathe" Adam explained. As he tried to pull the nurse down the hall.

"Who's his nurse?" The nurse asked as she followed him down the hall.

"I don't know. You are" Adam said.

"Well, what room is he in?" The nurse asked.

"336" Ruzek answered.

"That's Nurse Taylor's room assignment" The nurse replied. "I'll find her and send her down there"

Ruzek stopped in his steps. Clearly this bitch wasn't taking him serious.

"Are you stupid? My friend needs help. He. Can't. Breathe" Ruzek said again. "Do your job and come help him. I'm not looking for a Nurse Taylor, I'm looking for you, Bitch"

The nurse shook her head and walked past Ruzek and into Jay's room.

"Mr. Halstead? I hear you're having some trouble breathing" The nurse said as she walked over to Jay's bed.

Jay didn't respond. He kept his eyes up on the ceiling as he struggled to take a deep breath.

The nurse took a look at Jay and saw his face turning white and his lips turning a shade of blue. She quickly his the button to notify the floor that there was a Code Blue.

Adam watched as the nurse quickly laid Jay's bed back and all the nurses and doctors came running in. He watched helplessly as the doctors started yelling out things he'd never heard before and he felt like he was going to be sick when he watched Jay get sedated and a nurse tilt his head back and slide a tube down his throat.

"What's happening?" Ruzek asked.

"You need to leave" A doctor shouted as a few nurses came towards Ruzek.

"I'm not going anywhere. What's wrong with my best friend?!" Adam asked as turned away from the two male nurses who were trying to usher him out the door.

"Sir, you need to wait outside" One of the male nurses said.

"Don't tell me what to do" Ruzek said jerking out of the male nurses's grasp again.

"Don't make us call security, sir" The other male nurse said "Wait outside. We need to work on your friend. Someone will be out there shortly to tell you what's going on"

And with that statement, the two male nurses escorted Adam out of the room and into the hall, before shutting the door behind them.

Adam looked at the door for a few seconds before he backed against the wall and sank down it. With shaking hands he took out his phone and dialed the number he dreaded the most.

After a few rings the person on the other end of the phone picked up and a groggy voice answered "_Hello_?"

"Erin, I know it's late. But you need to come to the hospital. It's not good" Ruzek said into his phone.

"_What?" _Erin sat up in her bed suddenly very awake from the sleep her body had been craving.

Ruzek didn't want to be the one to tell her. He really didn't "Jay had some trouble breathing and they are in there working on him right now. So, just get here, Erin"

"_I'm on my way"_ Erin hung up the phone and didn't worry about changing out of her black leggings, sports bra and tank top she'd put on after her shower.

She flipped the bedroom light on as she started to search for her keys and uggs in a panic. Tears were already brimming at her eyes and her eyes went to the bedside table to where the sonogram of baby Halstead laid.

Erin ran a hand over her flat stomach as she walked over and picked the picture on the nightstand up. Why didn't she just go back to the hospital after her doctor's appointment? If she'd been there then she wouldn't have gotten woken up to a phone call she didn't want to hear.

"Please God, don't take him from us" Erin softly whispered as she looked down at the picture in her hand. She shook away fresh tears and laid the picture back down and she slipped her boots on and grabbed her keys and ran out the door.

**00000000000000**

Ruzek stood in the waiting room as he waited for the doctor to come in and give him some idea about what was going on with Jay. One minute he was fine and the next they were putting a tube down his throat down to help him breathe? What kind of sick joke was this?

The door to the waiting room opened and Dr. Amato stepped in and made his way over to Adam.

"How is he?" Ruzek asked walking over to Dr. Amato.

"There's been a complication from his collapsed lung. It's most likely from him being taken off of the vent before hs body was fully ready for it. He's hypoxic..." Dr. Amato explained.

"Hypoxic? I don't know what that means" Ruzek confessed feeling embarrassed that he didn't know these medical terms.

"Hypoxic means that he's beind deprived of adequate oxygen. The oxygen that he is getting, his body is taking to his most vital organs and it's causing some trouble with his other organs, mostly his kidneys. They're starting to shut down and we've got him upstairs and are going to go back in and see if we can find where the trouble is coming from" Dr. Amato watched as Ruzek nodded.

"What am I supposed to tell his fiancee?" Ruzek asked.

"When she gets here, you just have her come to the nurses station and they'll be happy to explain to her anything that she needs to know. I need to get back in there. I'll be out as soon as everything is over" Dr. Amato gave Ruzek a nod and quickly walked out of the door and out of sight.

Ten minutes later Erin came running down the hall. Adam had just paid for his coffee and pressed the button when he saw Erin coming towards him.

"What happened?" Erin asked her voice full of fear and panic as she searched Ruzek's face for answers.

"They took him back into surgery. Something about hypoxia and his breathing. Said his organs were starting to shut down and that they needed to work on him fast" Ruzek explained as he looked down at Erin.

If there was ever a time that Adam Ruzek had seen someone's world fall out from under them, it was right now looking at the girl in front of him.

"Hey...he's going to be ok. He's been through war, Erin. This is a cake walk compared to that" Ruzek stepped towards Erin and pulled her into a hug.

Erin fought back tears as she wrapped her arms around Ruzek. This crying isn't her. Her hormones were so out of control and she hated it. She hated crying, it was weak and Erin Lindsay wasn't weak. "I shouldn't have went home"

Ruzek tightened his arms around Erin and shook his head "Erin, you couldn't have known this was going to happen. You can't stay here 24/7. You need to take care of yourself, too"

"Yeah, but if I'd have just stayed here tonight. I could've helped him. I don't even know what the last thing I said to him was" Erin shook her head, hot tears finally spilling over her lashes and down her cheeks.

She didn't understand. An hour ago she was asleep in her bed and now here she was. Standing in a hospital with Adam Ruzek hugging her. Her biggest fear coming true, Jay slipping away. There was so much she needed to tell him. So much that she should've told him, instead of just walking away.

If he dies? He'll never know how much he's meant to her. How much she truly loves him, how she's been in love with him since the night she forced him to go with her to her high school reunion. She wished she could go back to that night and forgotten about the whole "Maybe One Day" because that night should've been the start of their "One Day" not her dragging her feet all this time out of fear of what Hank Voight would think.

Sure, he knew she loved him. But she was afraid that he didn't know how much. How she owed him her life and how he was her other half. How she'd spent the last two years of her life denying something that was fate. She couldn't lose him, not now. Not when they only had a short time of happiness. He had to pull through, not just for her. But for thier son or daughter.

Their baby. Those two words, a soon to be symbol to the outside world of the love the two of them shared. How could their son or daughter grow up without their father? Without knowing what an incredible, handsome, kind, hard working and devoted father that they had?

Erin had never been so thankful for Adam Ruzek having his arms around her. She knew if he didn't that she surely would collapse to the floor. So she did the only thing she could. She held onto him and cried.

"When Jay was first shot. I was up there with him" Ruzek started.

"I know you were" Erin replied.

"When he first fell to the ground, I ran to him. It's my best friend you know? And he looked up at me and I told him that help was coming to just stay with me. That he was fine" Ruzek continued. He felt his own eyes welling with tears as he continued to embrace Erin.

"You're his best friend" Erin mumbled against Adam's chest.

"Yeah, but his only concern was for you" Adam didn't fight the tears that slid down his cheeks. "The first thing he even said to me was your name. He was worried that you were in the house"

"He did?" Erin asked closing her eyes as she tried to will off the dizziness that was clouding her head.

"He wanted me to tell you someting. To make sure that you know how much he loves you" Adam whispered. "I told him I wasn't going to. That he was going to be the one to tell you. But, I just thought you should know. That was what he said to me. He's loved you for so long. It just feels so good to see my best friend happy"

"Thank you" Erin whispered against Adam's shirt as she opened her eyes.

"You're welcome" Ruzek said reaching up to wipe his eyes as the elevator doors opened and the rest of District 21 stepped off the elevators and made their way down to Adam and Erin.

**00000000000000**

The sun was rising over Northwestern Memorial Hospital. The members of District 21 sat in silence waiting on any news from the doctor on Jay. This second surgery was taking longer than the first one ever did. Exhaustion filled everyone, but yet nobody had the desire to sleep.

Atwater and Roman sat in a group of chairs against the wall, flipping playing cards into an empty seat.

Dawson and Olinsky were both on their fourth cup of coffee and had the TV playing the sunrise news cast playing on low volume.

Voight sat with Platt and Burgess making quiet small talk as Ruzek walked back and forth pacing the floor.

Erin sat on the other side of the waiting room staring down at the ring on her hand. She may have been in a room full of people, but she felt so alone. She knew she should probably be sleeping, her body was craving it and all the paperwork that Dr. Backus had given her had explained that during the first trimester the placenta is still forming and her body was currently doing everything for baby Halstead who, by the cramps that were radiating over Erin's abdomen, was displeased by the lack of sleep that his or her mother was missing. Erin curled up on the couch and rested her head against the back of the seat as she tried to alleviate the pain in her lower stomach. How did things get so complicated? 48 hours ago, things were perfect...well, maybe not perfect, but as close to perfect as things could get.

Ruzek looked over at Erin and then turned his gaze back to Kim who was talking to Platt. He needed to talk to her, it may not be the perfect time, but he needed to talk to her.

"Hey, can we talk?" Ruzek asked as he held his hand down to Kim.

Burgess gave Platt a quick glance and looked up at Adam. "Um, sure"

Kim extended her hand up to Adam and he took it as he pulled her to her feet.

"I think maybe outside. Let's go get some orange juice...you can have orange juice...right?" Adam asked as he led Burgess out of the waiting room and down the hallway.

"Pretty sure there's no orange allergy that I've developed" Burgess gave Adam a smile but it slowly fell when she realized he wasn't smiling back. "Hey, are you ok?"

Ruzek nodded but then stopped in his steps. "No, actually I'm not"

"What's wrong?" Burgess asked as she stopped and stood in front of Adam.

"I know, Kim. When were you going to tell me?" Adam asked as he looked down at Kim.

"What?" Burgess asked her eyes searching Adam's

"We should get married. I mean, that's the only logical thing to do" Ruzek ran a hand through his hair and he closed his eyes.

"Married?" Burgess repeated.

"Yeah, I don't know where yet, but we'll get married. And buy a house. I'll look into preschools and everything. I mean there's waiting lists for that shit" Adam rambled.

"Preschools? Adam what the hell are you talking about?" Kim asked. Was she completely lost? She had no idea what the man in front of her was going on and on about.

"I know that you're pregnant, Kim. And the fact that you'd go to Platt before me...I mean tha't pretty low" Adam didn't want to hash this out here, he'd planned to wait until when him and Kim were alone. But if Jay being in surgery had showed him anything, it was to take each moment as it came.

"You know, you're really something. I knew there was something bothering you at work. But I didn't think it was this. I expected more out of you than this, Ruzek" Burgess harshly whispered. She was trying to keep her voice down so that the nurses wouldn't hear and out of respect for the patients that were sleeping.

"More out of me?" Adam spat. "You're the one who should've come to me first. I can't believe after all we've been through that you'd hide something this big from me"

"I'm not hiding anything from you, Adam. You're jumping to conclusions before you have facts" Kim was pissed. How dare Adam just come out and attack her out of nowhere.

"I just want to know one thing, when were you going to tell me about the baby? When? And why did I have to hear about it from Trudy Platt? Why the hell does Platt know so much more about my damn girlfriend than I do?" Adam was trying to keep calm, but lack of sleep and the fear of the unknown was too much at this moment.

"You know what? I am done talking to you" Burgess couldn't believe Adam right now. And she made a mental note to kill Trudy Platt. She shook her head and brushed passed Adam.

Ruzek reached his hand up and took Kim by the arm. "I'm not done talking"

"Yeah, well I'm done listening. And just so you know, that was some bullshit proposal. For the record, I'm not pregnant, Adam. And it hurts me to think that you'd think I was trapping you into something, or trying to force you into some marriage. But, even if I was pregnant, I'd deserve better than some half assed hospital hallway proposal from a man who's supposed to love me" Burgess fought back tears. She wasn't going to cry in front of Adam. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

"You're not pregnant?" Adam asked.

"No. I'm not. I never was pregnant, and I never have been. So you're good" Kim's heated gaze locked with Ruzek's. She'd never been as hurt by him as she was in this moment.

"I'm sorry" Ruzek mumbled. The anger and fear that had filled him, was now being replaced by embarrassment. "When Platt gave me those papers today, all I could think about was you and me and our careers and our relationship"

Burgess rolled her eyes. "Our careers? You know what Adam, your future in the intelligence unit is looking bright, your future as my boyfriend? Not so much"

And with those words, Kim jerked her arm out of Adam's grasp and stormed off down the hall and outside. Leaving Adam Ruzek standing alone in the hallway of the hospital.

**00000000000000**

It was just after seven in the morning when Dr. Amato stepped into the waiting room. He scanned the room quickly before he spotted Erin and made his way over to her.

Erin quickly stood up, ignoring the dizziness that filled her head. "How is he?"

Dr. Amato watched as Hank Voight walked up to where he and Erin were standing and he stood beside Erin in support.

"He's stable. The artery that we removed from his leg and placed in his chest wasn't supplying the proper amount of blood, so it was starting to weaken and the pressure from the weakening artery was what was causing the pressure in his chest and his breathing problems. I was able to replace the artery with a larger one from his leg and so far the artery seems really strong. However, we are going to leave him on a vent for now. Just so his lungs don't have to work as hard and the new artery has time to properly heal and strengthen. He's in post op right now and he'll be there for a few hours, just so we can monitor him and his vitals and he'll most likely be moved to ICU for continued observation" Dr Amato explained.

"Is he going to be ok?" Erin asked. She found herself leaning against Voight. She didn't even realize she'd been doing it since he'd joined her when Dr. Amato came in.

"I think so. Chest trauma always has it's complications, Jay should've stayed on the vent a little longer to give his body a chance to recover from the first surgery. It was a misjudgment for the attending doctor at the time to have removed it so early. He just needs time for his body to heal. But, with cardio therapy and rest, I am sure he'll be back to protecting the city in no time" Dr. Amato assured.

"Can I see him?" Erin asked

"Not right now. Family isn't allowed back in the Post Anesthesia Care Unit. But as soon as he's moved to a room, you'll be allowed to go in. The nursing staff will give you updates to let you know what's going on with Jay while he's in PACU. I'll be back in the morning to make my rounds and check on him. I have the highest trust in the care he's being left in" Dr. Amato reached his hand out and touched Erin's arm softly. "If you have any questions or concerns, you can contact my office, and they'll page me and I'll return your call"

Erin nodded and forced a smile "Thank you"

"You guys should get some rest, maybe eat a little something. Jay will be in post op for a couple hours, the cafeteria is on the main floor and has a variety of choices for breakfast" Dr. Amato explained as shook Erin's hand and then Voight's.

"Thank you" Voight gave Dr. Amato a nod and watched as the man walked away before turning to Erin.

"Let's get you something to eat, kid" Voight said reaching over to wrap an arm around Erin's shoulder.

"I'm ok" Erin's gaze fell to the ground and she took a shaky breath. "I just want to see Jay"

"You need to eat. At least something. I know you're trying to fight off that stomach bug that Platt had, but you're not doing yourself any favors by not eating anything" Voight knew better than anyone how stubborn that Erin was, but he wasn't going to let her use it as a reason to not take care of herself.

"_Stomach bug_" Erin thought to herself. _"If you only knew how wrong you were"_

Erin didn't want to leave the waiting room. At least not until she could go and see Jay. She shouldn't have left him to have went back to her apartment in the first place. Then she could've realized that he needed help and would've gotten him help before it led to this. "I want to stay here"

Voight nodded "Ok, well, I'll go get you something and bring it to you"

Erin nodded and she backed away from Voight and back to the couch she'd been sitting on. She really was hungry, and she knew she needed to eat. Dr. Backus had told her that she needed to be eating around 300 more calories a day. "Pancakes?"

Voight raised his eyebrows and he looked at Erin "I can do that. I'll bring you a coffee, too"

"No" Erin said almost too quickly. Coffee, her basic lifeline was going to be a no for the next seven and a half months. "I'm just...I'm... really just not in the mood for coffee right now" Erin stumbled over her words while she tried to explain herself. "Orange juice, no pulp though"

Voight gave Erin an awkward gaze. She was never the type to turn down coffee. "Orange juice...no pulp...got it"

Erin nodded and ran a hand across the back of her neck. She was so tired. She didn't know if it was from the events of the last few days, or if it was from the pregnancy. Either way, she felt like she was a zombie. She groaned softly when she felt the pain from her abdomen start up again.

She ran her hand over her flat stomach and closed her eyes. Clearly this baby was already showing the personality of it's father. Opinionated and strong already, clearly Erin didn't know what she was in for. A baby with her and Jay's combined personalities? Good luck world.

**00000000000000**

After Erin had some breakfast she was finally starting to feel better. She was still exhausted of course, but the cramps she'd felt earlier had turned into a dull ache now that baby Halstead had gotten those much needed pancakes Erin had been craving.

It was almost 10am when a nurse came to get Erin and told her that she could go back and see Jay.

She led Erin down the hall to the ICU and through the doors to where Jay's room was.

"He's awake. But he's very sedated so he won't fight the vent" The nurse explained.

Erin nodded and walked into Jay's room and over to his bed. Jay's blue eyes followed Erin as she sat down in the chair next to him. As soon as she was sat down he raised his hand up off the bed and reached for Erin's hand.

"Hi" Erin's raspy voice softly said. She scooted her chair closer to Jay's bed and she smiled sadly as she felt him tighten his grip on her hand, not wanting to let it go.

Jay kept his eyes on Erin, he was aware of the tube that was currently down his throat, but didn't remember what happened in order for it to be there. All he could focus on was this beautiful, heaven sent girl sitting next to his bed, holding his hand.

"I was so scared" Erin laid her other hand on top of Jay's arm and ran her fingers up and down as she looked at him. The feel of his skin under her fingers was the comfort that she'd been searching for all night. Sure, everyone from the district had been with her all night and offered the occasional shoulder squeeze or hug. But this, is the true comfort that she had been searching for, waiting for, praying for and craving.

Jay's hand squeezed Erin's again. With the tube down his throat it made their lines of communication limited and he didn't want to let go of her hand to write with a pen and paper. It was like her touch was what was going to heal him. Not surgery, not medicine, just her. His girl, and he couldn't wait to spend his life with her. September couldn't come fast enough, he couldn't wait to show the rest of the world the feelings that he'd felt even when Erin was still just his friend.

"I love you" Erin brought her and Jay's joined hands up to her lips and kissed his hand. "You have no idea how much"

Jay squeezed her hand he nodded his head as best as he could. He wasn't used to seeing Erin like this. This emotional side of Erin was something that she didn't share very often. But she was so beautiful when she was this vulnerable.

Erin laid her free arm on Jay's bed and laid her head on top of it. She kept her other hand in Jay's and her eyes fluttered closed as she held tight to his hand. The rhythmic movement of Jay's thumb moving across the inside of Erin's wrist was lulling her into a much needed sleep.

Jay watched as Erin closed her eyes. Her hand relaxing it's grip on his let him know that she'd fallen asleep and he kept his blue eyes on her until they were too heavy to stay open

**00000000000000**

Hank Voight walked into Jay's room an hour later and found Erin still asleep holding Jay's hand. He didn't want to wake her, but visiting hours in the ICU were over and it was time for the nurses to come in and do an assessment on Jay.

Voight walked over to Erin and gently reached down and nudged her shoulder.

Erin's eyes slowly opened and she raised her head off of her arm and looked at Voight. "Hey" she whispered groggily.

"Visiting hours are over for now. You've got to come out to the lobby so the nurses can make their rounds" Voight explained.

Erin looked at the clock and nodded. Sleeping hunched over for the last hour wasn't comfortable and her back was on fire as she stood up. She let her hand slip from Jay's and leaned over him and placed a kiss on his forehead.

Voight looked down at Jay and reached down and gave his arm a squeeze before follwing Erin out the door.

Erin and Hank walked down the hall in silence. The cramps that she had earlier were back in full force and were making her light headed.

"You ok?" Voight asked as he looked over at Erin.

"I'm...alrig-" Erin didn't even finish the word before she felt darkness closing in around her and she fell to the floor.

"Erin!" Hank called as he grabbed her the best that he could to soften the blow of her hitting the floor.

The rest of the district had seen Erin fall and came running along with a few nurses.

Erin groaned when she opened her eyes. Everything around her was fuzzy and she felt hot tears slide from her eyes as she tried to keep her eyes open.

"Let's get her to a room, and do an exam. Grab a gurney and backboard" A nurse said as he took Erin's vitals. "Does she have any allergies? Any medical problems?"

"No..none at all" Voight answered from where he was knelt down beside of Erin holding onto her hand.

Erin's hazel eyes looked from the nurse to Voight who was staring down at her. All she could do was bring her empty hand down to her stomach protectively before closing her eyes.

Burgess knew it wasn't her place to say anything, but the look of concern that was on Hank Voight's face and the face of all of her colleagues told her that she needed to say something. So she took a deep breath and said it.

"She's pregnant"

**00000000000000**

**Please be kind and review...please? **


	29. Just As Long As You Stand By Me

**Thanks for the reviews everyone. That Linstead though, I wasn't expecting sex, guys. But I'll take it. Derek Haas is looking at getting a big kiss on that bald head of his. Cause that was everything. I just hope Erin doesn't regret it, I know how upset she was with Lange over the CI not getting her money. So, I hope it wasn't just hate sex with Jay. But it was still hot. And I just wanted a kiss...lol.**

**00000000000000000000**

Erin's eyes slowly opened as she tried to get them to focus in the dark room. It only took her a few seconds to realize that she was laying in a hospital bed and she instantly brought her hands to her stomach as she started to fill with panic.

"The baby's fine" A raspy voice said from the corner and the small lamp against the wall turned on, revealing Hank Voight's form.

Erin wasn't sure what to say. This wasn't how she wanted Hank to find out. She wanted to sit down and tell him like an adult. She hadn't planned on him hearing it from anyone other than her.

Erin watched as Hank sat in the chair in the corner his elbow resting on the arm rest and he ran a hand over his chin as he looked at her. She couldn't make out his features very well from the soft glow of the lamp, but at this point, she really wasn't sure she wanted to.

Voight tapped his chin as he tried to think of something to say. The fear of seeing Erin fall to the floor and not know what the hell had happened only to learn the truth from Burgess wasn't exactly what Hank Voight had wanted to hear. "When were you going to tell me?"

Erin turned her head and groaned as she felt the ache at the back of her head. She raised a hand to her head and felt the welt on the back of her head.

"Yeah, you took a pretty bad bump on the head when you fainted. I tried to catch you, but you fell so fast I couldn't" Voight stood up from his chair and walked over to Erin's bed and stood. He placed his hands in his the front of his jean pockets and looked down at Erin.

"What time is it?" Erin asked reaching over to adjust her bed up and putting her hands down next to her by her bottom and pushing herself up into a more seated position.

"It's almost midnight" Hank answered pulling his hand out of his pocket and looking down at his watch.

Erin laid her head back against the pillows. She couldn 't believe she'd slept that long. "How's Jay?"

Voight sighed and sat down on the edge of Erin's bed. "Halstead's fine. He's resting. He's still in ICU for the night and last time Ruzek gave me a report, everything was looking good. Now, are you going to answer my question?"

Erin looked down at her stomach, she hadn't realized that she had placed her hand their protectively since she'd woken up. She looked at her stomach and then at Voight.

"I just found out. A few days ago" Erin confessed. "I didn't want you to find out like this, Hank. Honestly I didn't"

Hank was silent for a few moments. He was really trying to take everything in. Voight wasn't big on change or things being out of cycle, but in the last 72 hours that's all things had seemed like they'd been. Halstead getting shot, then them thinking he was ok only to take a turn for the worse, trying to keep his unit strong through the events of that, and seeing the girl who he considered his daughter collapsing to the floor was what he thought the icing on the cake would be, but no, fate had one more surprise in store for him.

"Does Jay know?" Voight asked raising his hand to his tired eyes and rubbing them.

"No. Not yet" Erin looked away from Voight and back down at her stomach. She slowly started running her fingers in small circles over and over. "Nobody told him, right?"

Voight shook his head. "Nobody that I know of"

"Good" Erin exhaled with a sigh of relief. She wanted to be the one to tell Jay this news, when he was able to communicate back wth her and tell her how he felt about the baby. Not hooked up to some vent in a hospital bed.

"You know I have to pull you from patrol and put you on light duty" Voight dropped his hand from his eyes and focused his gaze on Erin.

'No, you don't I'm perfectly fine to be out there. I can handle it. I'm not going to let you or anyone else down" Erin assured.

"Erin...stop" Hank held his hand up as a sign for her to stop talking. "I know that you can handle it. But it's not just about you anymore"

Erin looked down at her stomach. She knew it wasn't about her anymore, she'd known that since she'd looked at baby Halstead on that sonogram machine yesterday at the doctor's office. She knew she protect the precious peanut that was currently nestled in her belly. But, she could still do her job. She was a cop and that's what she'd always be. It was in her blood, it was her life, it was who she was. "I can handle being out there, Hank"

Voight nodded again "I know that, but this..." He paused and reached his hand over to Erin's stomach and placed his hand on it. "This is going to be your focus, I can't worry about you and this baby, too"

"I'm sorry" Erin looked up at Hank and forced a sad smile. "I know that seems like all I say to you anymore, but I am sorry"

Voight shook his head. "You don't need to ever apologize to me, Erin. If anything, I should be telling you I'm sorry"

Erin furrowed her brow as she looked at Voight. "What?"

Hank removed his hand from Erin's stomach and stood up before walking over to the chair he'd been sitting in and he picked up the sonogram picture that Dr. Backus had given him when she'd done been paged to the ER to do another sonogram on the baby while Erin was still out of it earlier this afternoon. He didn't know what to say when she'd handed him the black and white picture and said "Congratulations, Grandpa"

Voight had spent the better part of the rest of the evening staring at the picture in his hands. The fact that Erin had known about this and was afraid to tell him, really hurt him. She out of anyone should know that he'd go above and beyond for her and protect her. So the fact that after everything he'd helped Erin through in her life, the fact that she felt like she couldn't tell him this, broke his heart.

Hank walked back over to Erin and sat on her bed and handed her the sonogram. "I'm sorry that you felt like you couldn't tell me about this"

Erin took the sonogram from Hank and looked down at it as she ran her thumb over the small black and white form of her child. "It's not that I didn't want to tell you Hank. I am just trying to adjust to the news myself. What kind of mother am I going to even be?"

"The best" Voight's raspy voice confessed.

"How could you possibly know that?" Erin asked looking up from the sonogram to meet his gaze.

"Because I know you. I know how kind, and smart and loving that you are. Even after everything that life has thrown at you and everything you've been through, you've come out on the other side. Stronger than ever. I'm so proud of you Erin. In every aspect of that word. I'm proud of who you were, who you are, and who you're going to become once this baby comes into your life" Voight reached down and took the sonogram from Erin and studied it for a moment.

"This baby, is already so lucky. You're going to be ok, kid. You and Halstead both. If you're asking if I'm surprised the answer to that is yes. But watching you fall to that floor this morning...I don't ever want to see something like that again" Voight confessed.

"I didn't mean to scare you. I didn't even know I was going to faint. It happened so fast" Erin explained. The dull ache at the back of her head was starting to worsen and she wished for some pain medicine, but figured that it was probably a lost cause. She didn't want to take anything that would harm the baby. So, she'd put up with a headache. "Do you think I can go home tonight?"

Voight shook his head "You took a pretty nasty fall. So they're going to keep you here tonight to keep an eye on you. You were really dehydrated and your blood pressure was low, so that's what caused you to faint. So, they want to keep you on some fluids to get you rehydrated and make sure that bump on your head is ok"

Erin looked down at her arm and noticed the IV fluids she was hooked up to for the first time. She instantly felt guilty, here Hank Voight sat, telling her that she was going to be a good mother and first thing she does is faint from not hydrating herself enough to take care of her own child.

"You don't have to stay here. I'm ok. You should go home" Erin suggested as the door to her room opened and her nurse walked in.

"I'm not going anywhere" Voight assured as he stepped out of the nurses way.

"You're awake" Erin's nurse cheerfully said flipping on a brighter light over Erin's bed.

The bright light forced Erin to shut her eyes tightly as she tried to adjust to it. That sure as hell didn't help her headache. "Yeah, I'm awake" Erin slowly opened her eyes and she blinked a few times as she adjusted her vision.

"How are you feeling?" The nurse asked as she started taking Erin's vitals.

"I've got a headache" Erin confessed as she looked at the nurse's name tag_. "Carley" _was the more than chipper nurse that was taking Erin's pulse name.

"Well, you did have a nasty little fall down on the ICU floor. I can bring you something for your head" Nurse Carley gave a wide smile as she made a note on Erin's chart and placed a cuff around her arm as she took Erin's blood pressure.

"I don't want anything that's going to hurt my baby" Erin explained.

"Of course not. I will see what the doctor has as your plan of care and bring you some pain medicine. Is there anything else I can get you?" Nurse Carley asked.

"No" Erin answered.

"Ok, I'll be right back" Nurse Carley gave a nod to Voight and walked out of Erin's room.

"You really can go, Hank. You just had a heart attack a few months ago. You don't need to stress of staying at the hospital"

"I told you. I'm staying. I've got everything I need here. They treat people better on this Labor and Delivery floor than they ever did me when I was on the Cardio health floor" Voight walked over to his chair against the wall and sat down.

"Are you sure?" Erin asked. In all honesty, she really didn't want to be alone. She just didn't want to force Hank to stay with her.

"Are you kidding? I've got a pillow and a blanket. I'm all set" Voight assured as the door opened and Nurse Carley walked in.

"Here you go, Erin" Nurse Carley said handing Erin a small cup that contained two white pills.

"What is this?" Erin asked.

"It's Lortab. It's just a pain pill. It's for you head. It's perfectly fine for the baby. And it will relieve your pain so that you can get some rest" Nurse Carley explained and she opened a small bottle of water and placed a straw in it before handing it to Erin.

Erin looked down at the pills before bringing the small cup to her lips and dipping in back and reaching for taking a drink of water to swallow the medicine.

"Good job" Nurse Carley said taking the bottle of water back from Erin and setting it on the trey next to her bed. "You should get some rest. I'll be back to check on you throughout the night"

Erin nodded and laid her head back against the pillows as Nurse Carley adjusted Erin's bed down and she reached over Erin's head and flipped the light off.

"Thank You" Erin said and she pulled her blanket up over her more.

"You're welcome. Is there anything I can get for either of you?" Nurse Carley asked both Erin and Voight.

"No thank you" Erin answered

"Anything for you sir?" Nurse Carley asked looking over at Hank Voight.

"I'm ok. Thanks" Voight answered.

Nurse Carley nodded and walked to the door and shut it behind her.

"Get some rest, kid" Voight said as he took a seat in the reclining chair and spread the blanket out over him.

Erin nodded and placed her hand back on her stomach and she closed her eyes as she started to fall back asleep.

**00000000000000000000**

Burgess walked up the steps of the precinct and past Platt who was standing at the front desk.

"You forget how to speak when you walk by somebody?" Platt asked as her gaze followed Burgess' walking past her.

"It's not a good time, Sergeant" Burgess kept her face away from Platt and on the opposite wall.

"Well, you need to make time" Platt said "Now, get over here"

Kim rolled her eyes and she walked the short distance from her spot over to the desk where Platt was standing. "You rang?"

Platt picked up a stack of papers and her attention fell to them as she started sorting them. "I just wanted to tell you that I was misinformed about your situation. I can admit when I am wrong"

Kim's eyebrows narrowed as she looked at Platt. She couldn't believe this. "Is that it? You aren't even going to say you're sorry?"

"Sorry?" Platt repeated as she looked up from her papers. "I'm not going to apologize. You should be the one apologizing to me"

"What?!" Burgess raised her hands up and slowly closed them. She was about to lose her temper. "I don't need to tell you sorry for anything"

"You're the one that led me to believe that you were the one who was pregnant. You could've easily told me that it was Erin. You could've saved me some paperwork and yourself some embarrassment" Platt explained.

"I can't believe you. You're wrong and you're going to stand there and act like you're not? I told you not to even say anything. And what I do to help my friends is my business, not yours" Burgess was fuming. Lack of sleep and still being angry over her fight with Ruzek wasn't exactly a good mix for having a conversation with Platt.

"I'm not going to feel guilty. You can't walk on eggshells in this job, I told you I was wrong, if you don't want to accept that, then that's on you. It's off of me now. I'm done talking now, so you can go" Platt stapled some papers and put them in a folder.

Burgess held her tongue and sighed as she grabbed her badge off of the counter and started to walk away.

"I wouldn't worry too much about Ruzek" Platt said calling after Burgess.

Kim stopped in her steps. She didn't turn around but she quietly answered Platt "Why?"

Platt put another stack of papers down and leaned down on her arms "He was scared. That boy loves you and it was a misunderstanding. You should talk to him"

Burgess nodded and looked up the steps to intelligence. She knew she needed to talk to Adam, she just didn't want to talk to him right now. In fact, she wasn't going to be the one to apologize. If Adam Ruzek wanted to talk to her, then he needed to start some serious groveling. She wasn't just going to forget that he had not only accused her of hiding a pregnancy from him, but also that half assed proposal he tried to give her.

That's what hurt her most of all, that Adam didn't take into consideration that she was worth more than some spur of the moment "We should probably get married" proposal. Sure, they weren't romance personified as a couple, but she was worth more than that. And if Ruzek didn't see that, then maybe it was time that they took some time apart to figure out what they both want.

Burgess walked into the break room and she stopped in her steps when she saw Ruzek sitting at the table.

Adam looked at her for a few seconds before speaking "Hey"

Kim avoided Ruzek's gaze and instead looked over at the counter "Hey"

"I got you a blueberry doughnut" Adam said holding up a small Krispy Kreme doughnut bag. "I know how much you like them"

"Thanks" Kim said but she didn't move from her spot.

"A blueberry doughnut for my blueberry doughnut" Ruzek joked as he stood from his chair and took a step towards Kim.

"Don't make a joke, Adam" Kim pleaded as her gaze finally met Adam's.

"Burgess, I'm sorry. I really am" Adam cautiously took a few steps towards Burgess and when he realized she wasn't going to step away from him, he walked the rest of the way towards her and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry"

"You really hurt me" Kim shook her head as she fought back tears.

"I know I did" Adam confessed "And I'm going to make it up to you"

"Oh, you have no idea" Kim half laughed as she exhaled.

"I was scared" Adam pulled Kim even closer to him and pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Why?" Burgess asked "Would having a baby with me be that bad?"

"No..no. That's not what I meant" Ruzek assured "I was afraid of letting you down. I spent my whole life trying to impress my old man, and I never felt like I did enough, and I still don't and it just scared me that our child would ever have to grow up feeling that way"

"But they wouldn't. Adam. You're nothing like your dad" Kim ran her hands up Adam's arms and around his neck.

"I'm sorry that I reacted that way. And you're right. You deserve so much more than some hospital hallway proposal. I mean I can't promise candles and fireworks on Mackinac Island, but I can promise you that when I do propose to you, and I will. It's going to be everything that you deserve" Ruzek assured.

"I love you" Kim ran her hand around the back of Adam's neck and smiled up at him.

"I love you, back" Ruzek smiled and he ran his hand along Kim's cheek before he leaned down and pressed his lips against Kim's.

After a few moments Kim pulled away and looked up at Adam. "You're still not off the hook though"

**00000000000000000000**

"Just take it easy" Voight insisted as he unlocked the door to his house.

"I'm fine, honestly" Erin assured as she walked into Hank's house.

"That's what you say, but your doctor also said for someone to keep an eye on you for the next 24 to 48 hours" Voight walked in his house behind Erin and shut the door behind him.

"That's just if I'd need help. I'm really ok" Erin watched as Hank walked into his living room and sat her hospital bag and a few Walmart bags down on the couch.

"I'd rather you stay here so that I can keep an eye on you. There's nobody at your apartment if something were to happen" Voight picked up some of the bags and headed to the kitchen.

"I honestly am ok, Hank. I promise" She didn't understand why Hank had been so insistant on her staying with him at his house. She was perfectly capable of taking care of herself she was 28. She would be fine at her apartment. Or even at the hospital with Jay.

"You still like potato soup, right?" Voight asked as he unloaded groceries.

Erin walked into the kitchen and leaned against the door frame. There was no point in arguing with Voight, so she'd just bite the bullet and stay with him. "Yes, I like it"

"Good. I fixed up your old room. We'll take your stuff up there" Voight finished putting the groceries away and walked past Erin and over to the couch to grab her stuff. "I had Burgess go to your place and pack you a bag. If there's a problem with what she picked, you'll have to take it up with her"

"I'm sure it's fine" Erin assured and she walked over to the couch and reached for her bag.

"I've got it" Voight said grabbing it before Erin could.

"Hank, I'm pregnant. I'm not dying" Erin shook her head and followed Hank up the stairs and down the hall.

"I know that. And believe me, Halstead's going to be glad he's in the hospital, cause they're not going to have far to take him after he and I talk" Voight opened the door to Erin's old room and went in.

"Hank, stop" Erin rolled her eyes and walked into the bedroom behind Hank.

"You can't expect me to not say at least something to him" Voight sat Erin's bag down on the bed and turned and looked at her.

"Yes. That's exactly what I'm expecting. Hank, you can't keep sticking your nose in our relationship. If it concerned you then yes, but believe me you weren't there when this happened" Erin said gesturing to her stomach.

"Thank God for that" Voight said as he walked over to Erin.

"I'm going to be ok, Hank. Jay and I can handle this. After I tell him and everything" Erin took a steady breath. She wasn't sure who she was trying to convince more, herself or Hank Voight.

"It's going to be a lot to handle, kid. A wedding, you mentioned wanting to move, work, your therapy, and raising a newborn" Voight leaned against the doorframe and looked at Erin.

"That's why I don't think I'm going to go to therapy anymore" Erin confessed.

"First off, you do that I'll suspend you from the force. You're going to stick with your appointments. I don't think once a week is asking too much" Voight folded his arms over him and locked his eyes on Erin.

"I really don't think I need it anymore" Erin ran a hand through her hair and looked over at Voight.

"Erin, I don't want you to take this the wrong way. But, one of your biggest issues are those scars from your attack and how your mom and dad always said appearance is everything? Well, don't you think when you start showing that you're going to have a hard time getting used to it? Your body is going to be going through a lot of changes..."Voight was interrupted by the sound of Erin's groan.

"Could you not talk about that. Please. I mean you're the last person I want saying that to me. You don't need to talk to me about my body...just...no" Erin shook her head.

Hank chuckled to himself as he looked over at Erin. "You know I was thinking if I move that dresser and the armchair, a crib would fit perfect right there. You know on nights when Halstead is working overnight. You and the baby could stay here"

"Hank, you don't have to go to that kind of trouble" Erin smiled as she thought about the idea of there being a crib in the corner of her old room. Something she made it out of her teens without needing.

"It's no trouble" Voight mumbled. the truth was he'd love that kind of company. Ever since Justin and Olive had moved and Erin started seeing Jay, the visits between Erin and Justin had grown less and less and it made him realize just how empty the house truly was some nights.

"Hank? Are you ok?" Erin asked looking over at him.

"Yeah. I'm going to go start dinner" Voight gave Erin a nod and walked out of her room, leaving Erin to unpack.

**00000000000000000000**

**So that Linstead sex last night...just in case you guys forgot...I wanted to remind you.**

**I promise Jay in the next chapter and he just might find out about baby Halstead.**

**Also, was this softer side of Hank Voight too much? Do you guys like it? Or would you rather him still be a hard ass? **

**And do you guys like the Burzek? Should there be more? Less? **

**I kind of always saw those four being really good friends if the writers on the show would take a chance on it. **

**Please Review and let me know what you guys think.**


	30. Chances Are Love Can Change The Weather

**Thank you guys for the reviews! I appreciate each and every one of them. I hope that you all the newest chapter. By chance did you all see the pictures of Jesse and Sophia at the TCA's? They looked amazing. **

**00000000000000000**

"So I was thinking that when you are up and out of here we should take a guy's day and do some fun shit" Ruzek suggested as he looked over from the White Sox game over to where Jay was laying on the bed.

"And go where?" Jay's voice was hoarse from having the vent tube down his throat the last 48 hours. He had finally been moved from ICU to a regular room and had the tube removed from his throat. His whole body ached from everything that had happened over the last few days. And even though he was thankful for the company of his best friend, he really wanted to see Erin.

"I don't know. Maybe we could hit up a Sox game, or get out of the city and go camping. We never hang out anymore" Ruzek turned his attention back to the TV. "And we'll never hang out after March"

Jay brought his hand up and rubbed his tired eyes. "What's happening in March?"

Adam mentally kicked himself as he remembered that Jay still had no idea that Erin was pregnant. "Oh...I...just...um...March...madness? March madness man. That's all"

Jay knew that Adam was hiding something. Ruzek was a horrible liar. "What's going on?"

"Nothing" Ruzek assured.

"You're lying. You won't look at people when you're lying" Jay pushed himself up so that he was leaning against his pillows and he sighed a thankful sigh as the pressure was taken off of his lower back.

"I'm not lying" Ruzek kept his gaze on the screen.

"Then what's happening in March?" Jay asked again.

"A birthday" Ruzek mumbled.

"Nobody's birthday is in March" Jay argued.

"Lie. Millions of people have birthday's in March" Ruzek retorted. Adam turned and nodded his head as if he were emphasizing a point.

"Nobody that we know" Jay laid his head back against his pillows and closed his eyes. Adam was giving him a headache.

"Not yet, anyway" Ruzek turned his head and looked back at the TV.

"What?" Jay asked. He opened his eyes and looked over at Adam who quickly grabbed his phone.

"Oh shit, that's Burgess" Adam lied as he quickly ran out of the room and past Platt who was walking past him and into Jay's room.

"Hey, Platt. What's up?" Jay asked turning his attention to Trudy.

"Not much, I just thought I'd stop by and see how you were. You look like hell. You need to shave" Platt said looking up from the floor and over to Jay.

"Anything else?" Jay asked. Is this the reception everyone is supposed to get after being shot and almost dying? If so, then remind him to never do it again.

"You really scared the hell out of everyone, Halstead. I don't think you realize how much" Platt said. She walked over to the empty seat beside of Jay and sat down.

"I'm sure that you guys were fine. Life and work went on" Jay wasn't really sure how to interact with Platt. So he figured that he'd just give her the sarcastic answers that she always gave him.

What he wasn't expecting was Platt to lean down and hug him. He was in fact, shocked as Hell that she'd do such a thing. "You really scared everyone. So don't say shit like that. You didn't see everyone, you didn't see Erin. You weren't there, so don't play the "Everyone would've been better of without me card" Because it's bullshit"

Jay was really taken aback by Platt's response. He thought she'd laugh. He wasn't expecting the hug. Of course he knew that nobody would be better off if he wasn't around. He just thought he'd have some fun with Platt. "I'm sorry, Platt"

Trudy shrugged her shoulders "It's whatever"

"So, did anything interesting happen while I was sleeping? Jay asked.

"Um, nothing out of the ordinary" Platt lied. God, Erin just needed to tell Jay already. It was like waiting for a bomb to drop.

Platt toyed with the idea of telling Jay about the baby, but she had made a promise to Voight that nobody would tell Jay. And as much as she liked Halstead and what he stood for, it wasn't worth having the deal with the wrath of Hank Voight.

**00000000000000000**

Erin brushed her teeth and slid down the wall of the bathroom at Hank Voight's house. She wasn't sure how much more morning sickness she could take. She brought her knees up to her chest and laid her head against them as she tried to will her stomach to settle. Potato soup last night was delicious, potato soup coming back up? Not so much.

A soft knock on the door caused Erin to raise her head. "Yeah?"

"Are you ok?" Voight asked from the other side of the door.

"I'm fine" Erin answered as she gritted her teeth and fought a wave of nausea.

Voight opened the door and looked down at Erin and he knelt down on the floor beside of her. "Drink this"

Erin quickly shook her head as Voight extended the cup that was in his hand. "No thanks"

"It'll help you" Voight assured and he kept his hand out.

Erin groaned and took the cup from Voight. "What is it?"

"It's peppermint tea. It's good for nausea" Voight explained.

Erin brought the mug up to her face and inhaled the scent before she took a small sip. "It's not bad"

Voight shrugged his shoulders. "I told you it wouldn't be"

"I don't know how people do this" Erin confessed. "I can't take 7 and a half more months of this"

"Well, hopefully you'll get past it after the first trimester" Voight looked over at Erin and he couldn't help but feel sorry for her. He'd knew she'd been sick the better part of the morning and he hated that he couldn't help her more than just by making the tea.

"One could only hope" Erin took another sip of the peppermint tea and laid her head back against the wall. "This is my punishment for getting pregnant"

"It's not just you. Camilla was sick as a dog with Justin. She couldn't even drink water" Hank frowned as he thought back on Camilla's pregnancy with Justin.

"Really?" Erin asked. She adjusted her grip on the hot mug and took another slow sip of the tea.

"Yeah, it was horrible. But she started to get better after her first trimester. How far along did Dr. Backus say you were?" Voight asked.

"Um, it was seven weeks yesterday. So, that means I have five more weeks of feeling like this? Wonderful" Erin said sarcastically as she looked down at the mug in her hands.

"It'll get better, kid" Voight assured and he moved to stand up. "Are you going to go see Halstead today?"

Erin quickly nodded and took Voight's hand when he reached down and helped pull her to her feet. "Yeah. I need to finish getting ready. I hated that I wasn't there when he got the vent tube taken out. I should've been"

"Yeah? You also have a baby to think about, Erin. I'm sure that Halstead would want you to get some rest" Hank walked out of the bathroom and waited as Erin walked out behind him.

"I know that. But, it's no reason for me not to go see my fiance" Erin argued. She walked across the hall and sat the mug down on the dresser before sitting on the bed.

"Do you have to use that word?" Voight asked walking into Erin's old room and leaning against the doorframe.

"Don't start" Erin said as she bent down to slip her boots on.

"Are you going to tell him about the baby today?" Voight asked.

Erin shrugged her shoulders as she reached for her other boot and slipped it on her foot. "I don't know. I would rather wait and tell him when he's out of the hospital"

"I don't think that's a very wise choice" Hank offered as advice.

"Why?" Erin asked standing up from the bed and walking over to the dresser. She picked up her brush and started running it through her silky hair.

"Because the longer that you keep this from him, the harder you're making it on yourself" Hank folded his arms over himself as he looked at Erin.

Erin sat the brush down on the dresser and was silent a few moments before responding. "I'm going to tell him. I just need to figure out how to do it. He's coming home in a few days. I thought I'd just do it then"

"How are you going to hide morning sickness from him, Erin?" Hank asked.

Erin tilted her head back and rolled her eyes "I am going to tell him. Just let me do it"

"Whatever you say. I might not be Halstead's biggest fan, but he needs to know about this. Don't make me get involved, Erin" Hank warned before looking at Erin one last time and walking down the hall.

Erin ran her hand trough her hair and sighed. She'd tell Jay when the time was right.

**00000000000000000**

**3 Days Later**

"Are you ready to come home?" Erin asked as she walked around Jay's hospital room gathering some of his things while the nurse went to get his discharge papers.

"You have no idea" Jay answered groaning as stood up from his bed and groaned as he felt the ache in his muscles from laying in the hospital bed for the last few days.

"I thought that it might be better if you stay at your apartment" Erin carried the things she'd gathered and walked over to the duffel bag and started to pack it.

"You don't want me to stay with you?" Jay asked taking a seat back on his bed.

Erin placed a folded t-shirt in the bag before turning to look at Jay. "I just thought it would be easier for you to get around your place. It's not so much walking and plus, you'll be around your stuff and your surroundings. I just thought you'd want to be home"

"Erin, come here" Jay reached out his hand and Erin turned her back to him.

"I should really finish packing" Erin said picking up another shirt and she began to fold it.

"Don't worry about that. Just come here, please" Jay requested his arm still extended out towards Erin.

Erin finished folding the shirt and laid it in the duffel bag before walking the short distance and taking Jay's hand.

Jay smiled as Erin took his hand and he guided her to stand between his jean covered knees. He looked down at their intertwined hands and brought it up to his lips and kissed her hand just above her engagement ring. "Baby, my home is where you are. I don't care if it's my apartment, your apartment, or some box on the street. Wherever you are, that's where I want to be"

Erin brought her free hand up and ran her hand through Jay's hair and down his cheek. The small beard he'd grown over the course of the last week tickled the inside of her wrist as she circled her fingers down and around his ear. "I was so scared" Erin confessed her hazel eyes welling with unshed tears.

Jay's blue eyes held Erin's gaze and he took his free hand and raised it up to her hip and pulled her closer to him. "Erin, I'm going to be ok. We're going to be ok. And six weeks from today, I'm going to be standing in a suit at the Chicago Cultural Center and you're going to finally be my wife. I couldn't go anywhere without having the vision of you walking towards me first"

A single tear slid down Erin's cheek and she exhaled and tightened her grip on Jay's hand. "I love you"

Jay smiled and dropped his hand from Erin's and he stood up from the bed. "I love you and I can't wait to spend my life with you and make all your dreams come true"

Erin gently wrapped her arms around Jay's middle and buried her face in his chest. "I need to tell you something"

Jay rested his chin on top of Erin's head and nodded. "What is it?"

Erin pulled back and looked up at him "I think you should probably sit down"

Jay furrowed his brows as he looked down at Erin. "What's wrong?"

"You should sit" Erin said as she walked him back towards the hospital bed.

"You're starting to scare me" Jay was only halfway joking when he took a seat on the hospital bed.

Erin looked down at the floor and took a few breaths in and out as she tried to calm her nerves. "There's no easy way to tell you this. So, I'm just going to tell you"

Jay frowned and looked at Erin. "Erin, what's going on"

Erin bit her lip and gathered the courage that she needed and her gaze rose from the floor and she met Jay's gaze. "Jay, I know..."

Erin was just starting to tell Jay the news when the door to his room opened and the nurse walked in. "Are you ready to go home, Mr. Halstead?"

Jay's gaze turned from Erin to the nurse who walked in and sat his discharge papers down. He looked back at Erin who broke his gaze and went back to packing his bag. "Um, yeah. Yeah, I'm ready to go"

"Ok, there's just a few discharge notes. We're sending you home with a prescription for 500 mg of Vicodin. You're to take one tablet every four to six hours as needed. Dr. Amato wants to see you back on Tuesday for a check up in his office at 11am. You have no dietary restrictions. The surgical site is to only be cleaned with antibacterial soap and water and patted dry with a towel. I've given you a small bag filled with gauze, surgical tape and a topical antiseptic. Change the dressing daily and after showers. No smoking, no drinking , no exercise, no heavy lifting over 12 pounds" The nurse explained handing Jay a pen so he could sign his release papers.

"No problem" Jay said taking the pen from the nurse and signing his name over the various papers.

The nurse nodded and took the pen once Jay was done "Oh and no sexual intercourse for the next six weeks"

"Excuse me?" Jay asked.

**00000000000000000**

Adam Ruzek knocked on the door of Kim Burgess' apartment and waited for her to answer. After a few seconds Kim opened the door and came face to face with her boyfriend.

"Pizza al a Ruzek" Adam held up two Pizza Hut boxes "Well Pizza a la Hut...but it's all the same"

Burgess folded her arms and leaned against her door. "Is this your idea of making me dinner? Cause I'm pretty sure when you stopped me at work today, you said "I'm going to cook for you"

"Well, this is the Adam Ruzek style pizza" Ruzek joked and watched Kim roll her eyes. "Truthfully, I had to stay over and finish some paperwork, so I didn't have time to go to the store. And I know how you get when you speak out of hunger. Soooo..." Adam balanced the two boxes on one arm and pulled the top pizza box top open before continuing "I present thin and crispy pizza with everything"

Kim stood on her toes and looked at the pizza "You know, I am hungry. So you're lucky"

Ruzek shut the pizza box and handed them over as Burgess reached for them. Kim took them with a smile and said "Thank you" before kicking the door shut and leaving Ruzek in the hall outside of her door.

Adam frowned and raised his hand and knocked. Kim smiled to herself and walked into the kitchen and sat the pizza boxes down on her counter. She walked over to the door and looked out the peep hole. "Who is it?"

"Real funny, Burgess. Open the door" Ruzek said.

"I'm sorry, but I don't just open the door to strange men" Kim leaned against the door and smiled when she heard Adam mumble to himself.

"Just let me in" Ruzek knocked again.

"Are you a vampire? Cause vampires can only come in if they're invited in" Burgess joked.

"Very funny. I guess I'll just go meet some girls at Molly's" Ruzek gave a nod. Impressed with his witty comeback.

"Oh? That's fine. It's best you not be here when Roman leaves anyway. I mean, he's not even dressed yet" Kim teased and she laughed to herself when she heard Ruzek swear on the other side of the door.

"You know, I think you're joking, but I'm kind of getting nervous so if you could open the door...I'd really appreciate it" Ruzek asked with a plea.

Kim laughed and turned the doorknob and opened it. "You just missed him, he went down the fire escape"

"Ha ha" Ruzek frowned and walked past Kim and into her apartment. "I've seen the guy in the shower house. I don't have anything to worry about "

Burgess shut the door behind her and walked over to Adam. "Don't you think you deserve a little bit of teasing? I mean I'm still kind of mad at you"

Adam grasped Kim's arm as she walked past him and turned her to face him "Burgess, if you want to tease me. There are ways that I'd like a lot more than for you to use your work husband to hurt my feelings"

"He's not my work husband" Kim said trying to convince Adam for the millionth time that there is not anything going on between her and Sean Roman.

"I don't like the way that guy looks at you" Ruzek confessed.

"He doesn't look at me any special way" Kim walked into her kitchen with Adam following behind her. She opened her cabinet and grabbed two plates and handed Ruzek one.

"The guy likes you. I know that much" Ruzek took the plate from Kim and opened the pizza box.

"Um, clean hands" Kim said tapping him on the shoulder.

"Yeah yeah...I'm going, mom" Ruzek nudged Kim's shoulder as he walked past her.

"Thank you" Kim followed behind Adam waited for her turn to wash her hands.

"Kitchen Lemon?" Ruzek read aloud as he looked at the bottle sitting on Kim's sink.

"Um, yes. Bath and Body Works was having a sale and it smells amazing" Burgess explained reaching over and pressing the pump on the bottle so she could lather up her hands.

"Well excuse me. Any other Bath and Body Works products going around this place that I might benefit from?" Ruzek asked drying his hands on a paper towel.

"Maybe if you play your cards right" Burgess said with a smile. "And I mean REALLY play your cards right"

"Have I mentioned how much I love you? Cause I do" Ruzek said as he heard Burgess laugh.

**00000000000000000**

"Home Sweet Home" Erin said as she used the key to unlock Jay's apartment door and held it open for him as he walked inside.

Jay looked around his apartment and sighed. He was so thankful to be out of the hospital and able to sleep in a real bed without being woken up every few hours. How people ever recover in hospitals was beyond him. Cause you sure as hell don't get any rest. "Just like I left it. Glad Ruzek didn't stop by and steal anything"

"You haven't looked everywhere yet" Erin joked as she sat Jay's hospital bag and his duffel bag on his couch. She reached down and grabbed the pharmacy bag and opened it, pulling out Jay's prescription.

"True" Jay took a long look around his apartment.

Erin walked to Jay's fridge and looked inside. She smiled a thankful smile that Atwater had delivered on his promise to go grocery shopping so that Jay would have food to eat when he got home. Erin grabbed a bottle of water and shut the fridge before opening the pill bottle and slipping one out and onto her hand.

"Let's get you to bed" Erin said walking over to Jay and handing him his pain pill and a bottle of water.

"Do you think I could take a shower first?" Jay asked "I've only been sponge bathed the past few days and trust me. That's not fun"

Erin scrunched her nose "Is that what that smell is?"

"Ha ha" Jay said taking the pill and water from Erin. "I was hoping you'd be able to help me. I mean there's so many places I'm too sore to reach"

Erin raised an eyebrow "Oh?"

Jay swallowed the pain pill with a drink of water and nodded "Oh definitely"

"Fine" Erin agreed "Let me just put this stuff away" Erin gestured to the couch and walked started to walk over to his couch, as Jay grabbed her hand.

"Don't worry about that stuff. Shower first. This stuff later" Jay turned and walked through his bedroom and into the bathroom as he gently pulled Erin behind him.

**00000000000000000**

Kim placed a kiss on Adam's cheek as he placed one on her sweat slicked collarbone and rolled off of her.

"Am I forgiven now?" Ruzek asked as Burgess curled up against his bare chest and tightened her comforter around her naked chest.

"You're getting there" Kim answered. She closed her eyes for a few moments as she felt Adam raise his arm and started running his fingers up and down her naked back.

"Just getting there?" Ruzek frowned and stilled his hand "I clearly was bringing my best moves tonight"

Kim laughed against Adam's chest and placed a kiss against the beating of his heart and she raised her head and looked at him "Your best moves?"

"Um, hell yes. You didn't seem to have any problem with them a few minutes ago" Adam frowned as he felt Kim move away from him and off of the bed.

"Yeah, well that was then" Burgess slid off of her bed and grabbed her robe from the bed post.

Adam sighed a disappointed sigh as he watched Kim slip on her robe and tie it. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to take a shower" Kim said a hint of anger in her voice as she walked over to her dresser and started looking for pajamas.

"Are you mad at me still?" Adam asked leaning up on his elbows.

"Look who just caught up" Burgess shut her dresser drawer and walked out of the bedroom to grab a towel from the hallway closet.

"So you used me? You used me for sex?" Ruzek asked frowning.

"Yep, guess I got mine" Kim ran a hand through her messy hair and held her pajamas against her.

"I feel so used" Ruzek pulled the blankets up to cover his chest and frowned.

"Oh, poor you. Hey, maybe we should get married" Kim plastered a fake smile and walked into her bathroom and shut the door.

"That's real cold, Burgess. Real cold" Ruzek said he laid back on the bed and looked up at Kim's ceiling.

"I'm still spending the night, right?" he yelled.

**00000000000000000**

The steam from the hot water filled Jay's bathroom as the hot water poured down on him and Erin. Jay closed his eyes as the water cascaded down his back and eased his sore muscles.

Erin placed a kiss on Jay's collarbone and reached over for the wash cloth and Antibacterial Dial Soap. She popped open the top and Jay's eyes opened to look down at her. "What are you using?"

Erin held the bottle up and inspected the label "Jay Halstead? Gentleman? Friend to women? Dial Mountain Fresh is the scent for you"

"Good to know" Jay sighed as he watched Erin squirt the soap onto the washcloth and he closed his eyes as Erin placed the rag on his chest and slowly started to work it against his skin.

Erin's gaze lifted from the work her hand was doing and up to Jay's face. He looked relaxed and happy and the fact that he was a little drugged up would soften the blow of what she was about to tell him.

"Jay, I'm pregnant" Erin stilled her hand against his chest as she felt his muscles stiffen and she bit her lip as she watched his eyes slowly open.

"What?" Jay asked. His pulse quickened and he felt dizzy.

"I'm pregnant" Erin felt her heart racing and she realized that the silence that she was currently getting from Jay was terrifying her.

Jay couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Erin was having a baby. His girl was going to give him a baby. A slow smile formed on his lips and he pulled her into his arms. "Baby, you're pregnant?"

Erin nodded "And I know we didn't plan this. And I-"

Erin's words were cut off by Jay's lips crashing against hers and she sighed as she started to relax against him.

Jay pulled back from the kiss a few moments later and he dropped his hand from Erin's face down to her stomach. "Our baby?"

Erin bit back tears as she felt Jay's hand run across her flat stomach and she nodded and watched as he shifted and knelt down to the tile floor in front of her and placed his lips against her stomach. Erin ran her hands through his soaking wet hair and she heard Jay mumble something against her before placing a kiss just above her belly button.

**00000000000000000**

**As far as Erin's pregnancy goes, would you guys like it to be extended over a period of chapters? Or would you like me to do a time jump? And of course the biggest question of all...**

**Baby Boy Halstead? **

**or**

**Baby Girl Halstead? **

**Please Review?**


	31. Today Was A Fairytale

**Thanks for the reviews everyone. I appreciate the feedback on Baby Halstead and Erin's pregnancy. I have decided that I'm going to do her pregnancy in six week time jumps. So, that means Baby Halstead will make his/her debut in around six chapters. I know a lot of you want to see a hormonal Erin and she'll definitely come out. But until then, I think some have you have been waiting for a wedding? Hope you enjoy the chapter. Parts of this are rated "M". Just a warning. **

**0000000000000000**

**2 Weeks Later**

Hank Voight pressed the lock button on his car as he walked up the steps to his house. He reached into the mailbox and pulled out a handful of mail before unlocking the front door and going inside.

He shut the door behind him and carried the mail into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and looked for a few moments and he grabbed a beer and walked over to the counter and started going through the mail.

He skimmed through the small pile of bills, and letters and stopped when he saw the familiar writing across the top of it: Erin's handwriting.

Hank knew what it was. He didn't need to open it to figure it out. He ran a hand over the front of the letter and turned it over and slid his thumb through the paper to open it. He pulled the black and white cardstock out and began to read:

_Somewhere between all of our_

_Laughs, Long Talks,_

_Fights & Jokes..._

_I Fell In Love With My Best Friend._

_**You've Been Cordially Invited **_

_**to the Wedding Of:**_

_**Erin Kathleen Lindsay**_

_And_

_**Jay Alexander Halstead**_

_On:_

_**Saturday, September 26, 2015**_

_**at 6:00 pm**_

_At:_

_**The Chicago Cultural Center**_

_"Tonight is the Beginning of Always, _

_a Formality, an Announcement_

_to the World of Feelings Long Held"_

Hank Voight sighed as he looked at the invitation in his hands. Here it was, in five weeks Erin was getting married. Hank stood in his kitchen as he stared down at the card in his hand. He took a long drink of his beer and walked into the living room.

As he was walking a photo on the mantle caught his gaze. It was from a few months after Erin had come to live with him, Camille and Justin. The picture was of the four of them from a Christmas party at church. Hank and Camille stood in the middle and Erin and Justin were on the ends. Justin, Hank and Camille smiled brightly at the camera and Erin had her head tilted up towards Hank. A real genuine smile on her face as she looked at him. One of the first that she'd given since she'd moved in.

Hank laid the wedding invitation down on the mantle and reached for the picture. He ran his hand over the frame and across the photo as his gaze fell to Camille's face.

His precious Camille: God, how her father had hated him when he first started dating Camille. He never saw Hank as someone who was good enough for his daughter and Hank smiled sadly as he focused on Camille's smiling face. God, he loved her so much and oh how he missed her. She'd be so thrilled to have heard the news of Erin's engagement and the news of both Justin and Erin bringing grandkids into the Voight household? Forget it. She'd have this house filled with baby and wedding supplies.

Hank looked at the invitation on the mantle and over to the kitchen. He could remember so many times coming home and seeing Erin and Camille at the table talking. Camille helping Erin with her homework, holding Erin while she cried over the things that Stephanie and the clique from St. Ignatious found out who she was, and family dinner after family dinner. He missed it, the house was so empty without Camille.

"I miss you" Voight whispered looking at the picture one last time before placing it back on the mantle.

**0000000000000000**

Jay was awakened to the sound of Erin in the bathroom. He furrowed his brow and squinted as his eyes tried to adjust to the red numbers on the clock as the early morning sunlight made it's way through the blinds of his apartment.

5:47 am

Jay groaned and sat up in his bed and ran a hand through his bed hair. He got out of bed and walked over to the bathroom door and knocked. "Erin, are you ok?"

"I'm fine" Erin managed to get out before her stomach lurched again and she emptied the rest of her stomach into the toilet.

Jay reached down for the doorknob "I'm coming in"

Erin caught her breath and looked over at the door as she saw the knob turn. "NO! I can do this without you"

Jay's hand stilled and he let go of the knob. He couldn't help but bite back a laugh. The last two weeks had been like this. He felt so bad for Erin, he really did. But it was going to be worth it. And he'd take the morning sickness from her if he could, right?

The sound of the toilet flushing and the sink running brought Jay out of his thoughts. A minute later the door opened and Erin stepped out of the bathroom.

"Anything I can do?" Jay asked.

"No. No, you've done enough already" Erin narrowed her eyes as she looked up at him and walked over to the bed.

Jay tried not to laugh. He really did. But the whole thing was just too much. Erin looked disheveled: Her dirty blonde hair pulled up into a messy ponytail, his Blackhawks shirt was oversized and hung off of her slender body and fell just below her thighs. She was beautiful of course, but this version of Erin wasn't one he saw very much.

"Shut up, Jay" Erin groaned. She laid down on the bed and curled up in the fetal position and closed her eyes.

"Aw baby, I'm sorry" Jay offered as some form of support.

"Shut up" Erin repeated

Jay sighed and walked over to Erin. His pajama bottoms hung low off of hips and he walked over to the window and pulled the curtains closed from the morning sun. The room darkened and Jay used the light from the bathroom to make his way over to Erin. He reached down and grabbed the blankets on his bed and covered her up before sitting down on the bed next to her. He reached down and brushed a few stray strands of hair off of her face. "Can I do anything to make you feel better?"

Erin opened her eyes and looked at Jay. The bathroom light illuminating his face made him look even more handsome in the early morning hours. And God, it pissed her off.

"Let me cut your balls off. Cause this isn't happening again. I'm serious. You. Vasectomy. Today" Erin pulled the blankets up over her shoulder and sighed.

"Do you think that Dr. Backus would give you something for all this nausea? I mean there has to be something that you can take" Jay sighed and climbed over Erin to his side of the bed. He pulled the covers over him and reached over and started to gently run his hand up and down Erin's back.

"I don't want to take anything that's going to hurt the baby" Erin said "I can take this. I can do it for our child"

Jay smiled sadly and scooted closer to Erin. "Baby, you don't have to be so strong. You're sick. You can let me help you. You can let all of us help you. And I'm sure that Dr. Backus could give you something to keep you from vomiting"

Erin shook her head. "I just want to stop feeling like this. They say it gets better. When? I want that glow that all those other pregnant women have. When am I going to get the glow?"

Jay laid his head on his arm as he kept rubbing Erin's back. "You have the glow"

"Vomit sweat doesn't count" Erin groaned

Jay chuckled to himself and he brought his hand up and around her side to her stomach. He started tracing small circles on Erin's stomach over her shirt. he scooted closer to her until his head was nestled behind her neck.

"Jay!" Erin called her eyes shooting open.

"What?" He asked pulling his head back and looking at Erin.

Erin turned her head and looked at him raising an eyebrow as her gaze shifting down to their middle.

"It's morning!" Jay said trying to explain the semi erection that was pressing against Erin's behind. "I can't help it"

"Well try" Erin groaned scooting away from him.

"So, is this a preview of what it's going to be like when we're married? I mean excuse me. We've not had sex in almost a month. I can't help that I think you're beautiful. But I'm not going to apologize for loving you" Jay wrapped his arm around Erin and pulled her back to him.

"You're so full of shit" Erin couldn't help the small smile that had formed on her lips. Her stomach was finally starting to settle down.

"You love me" Jay mumbled leaning down to kiss Erin's neck.

"You bug me" Erin sighed. "And you're on a no sex order from Dr. Amato"

"Well, he's just a surgeon. We didn't talk to an ear nose and throat doctor" Jay raised an eyebrow and smiled when he heard Erin laugh.

"That's not going to happen. So, dream another dream" Erin shook her head and snuggled back against Jay.

**0000000000000000**

**2 Weeks Later **

The last two weeks had been a complete turn around for Erin when it come to her morning sickness. She'd finally talked to Dr. Backus about everything and Dr. Backus had been more than helpful when it came to giving Erin medicine to control the nausea. And it was a Godsend. She still felt tired and if baby Halstead had it's way, Erin would do nothing but sleep. But, there was no time for rest. There was wedding issues to finalize and Jay's apartment needed a serious dusting. So that's what she was going to spend her last Saturday as a single woman doing. Cleaning.

Jay had just finished loading the dishwasher when he heard Erin walk out of the bedroom.

Erin walked out of Jay's bedroom her tank top and capri style leggings clung to her body in all the right places. Jay groaned as he looked at her. Pregnancy was clearly agreeing with her body. Yesterday had been the 11 week mark and the tiniest hint of a baby bump was just starting to form just under her tank top, but her boobs were the biggest change. A change that Jay Halstead appreciated. They were almost a cup size fuller and were part of the reason that Jay couldn't control his body around Erin anymore.

Next weekend was what he was counting down the minutes to. Sure, it was his wedding day and he couldn't wait to finally be Erin's husband, but it was also the end of his no sex after surgery era. So while the wedding was going to be his dream come true, the wedding night? Erin didn't know what was in store for her.

Erin grabbed the duster and stood on her tip toes as she started dusting the blinds. Jay groaned as he watched Erin reach up and her tank top slide up her stomach.

"Christ Erin, do you want a pole to do that on?" Jay asked taking a seat on his couch.

"I'm just trying to clean" Erin turned her head back towards Jay and she bit her lip and brushed her hair out of her eye as she looked back at him. "Something wrong?"

Jay shook his head "No. Not a thing"

"Are you sure?" Erin asked laying the duster down on the TV stand before walking over to Jay. The wood floor was cold against her bare feet as she made the short distance to her fiance.

"I'm fine" Jay assured. He looked at the TV that was playing a rerun of "Friends" and he tried to focus on it, instead of his beautiful fiance.

Erin looked over her shoulder at the TV and then back at Jay. She smiled and moved to straddle him. Her slender and toned legs hugging his thighs.

"Erin" Jay sighed as Erin leaned in and nuzzled her nose against his.

"Yeah?" Erin asked closing her eyes as she felt Jay bring his hand up and gently grab her face.

"Don't" Jay looked up at Erin from his position. Her hazel eyes were closed. Her lower lip currently tucked under her top teeth as she bit it. Her dirty blonde hair fell down her shoulders in waves. Simply put: She looked stunning.

Jay tried to will his body to not respond to his fiancee who was seated on his lap. But the way she looked seated on top of him and being unable to physically touch her the last few weeks had blown that plan to hell.

Erin's eyes slowly opened as she felt Jay's growing erection through the fabric of his sweat pants and her leggings. "Detective Halstead. You must really like "Friends" or you're just really happy to see me"

Erin ran her hands down Jay's shoulders as she slowly started to grind against the tent that was forming in Jay's lap. She gasped and softly groaned as she felt Jay run his hands up her thighs to her hips. Her pregnancy hormones were in overdrive the last few days. She was insanely horny. A clear highlight as she neared the start of her second trimester.

"Erin please" Jay groaned. He couldn't take this sweet torture. He was dying to be with his girl. He was reduced to a teenage boy the last few weeks. Spending his mornings in a cold shower, while visions of Erin's naked form moving in his lap filled his mind. He needed her like a needle needs a vein. She was his drug and he was addicted.

Jay couldn't fight it anymore. He gently arched his hips off the couch and into the apex of Erin's thighs. Erin groaned loudly as she leaned back a little and placed her hands behind her on Jay's knees as she started to grind faster against him. "That feels so good. Oh my God"

Jay growled in his throat as he thrust his hips up off of the couch and into Erin's. "Baby, I need to fuck you"

Erin shook her head as she kept her eyes closed. Focusing on her movement in Jay's lap. "No. Not yet"

Jay laid his head back against the couch as Erin continued to rock in his lap. She spread her thighs further apart and her groans filled the living room as she neared the edge.

"Jay" she panted. His name falling off her lips like a prayer.

"That's it, baby" Jay encouraged. "Come on, Erin"

And that was it. Jay's words were what she needed to throw her over the edge. Her release hit his like a truck and she leaned forward her head burying in his neck as she tried to catch her breath.

Jay wrapped his arms around Erin's back. His rock hard cock was throbbing against his sweat pants and he started doing math problems in his mind as he willed his body to settle.

Erin pulled back and looked at Jay. Her hazel eyes were dark with desire as she looked at him. "I'm sorry"

Jay swallowed hard as he looked at Erin. Her face was flushed and he ran his hand along her cheek as he leaned up and kissed her. "Don't be sorry. Not for that. It was sexy. In fact, we should probably do that more often"

Erin sighed and she shifted in Jay's lap and he sucked in his breath as Erin moved against him. She bit her lip and frowned "I'm sorry"

"It's ok" Jay assured. His current level of sexual frustration was at an all time high. God, next Saturday needed to get here and fast.

"Can I do anything to help?" Erin asked. "Except sex"

Jay laughed and shook his head "You know how a couple weeks ago you were really sick from the pregnancy and I asked if I could help you and you said "No, you've done enough"?"

Erin nodded as Jay shifted on the couch and nuzzled his nose against hers "Well, Erin. Trust me, you've done enough already"

Jay gave Erin a quick kiss and ran his hands down her thighs as he moved her off of him and he stood up from the couch.

"Where are you going?" Erin curled her feet under her and ran a hand through her hair as she looked up at Jay.

"I have to go take care of this" Jay gestured down to his current state of arousal. "So, I'm just going to live in the shower until next Saturday"

"Well, it's only seven more days. And we'll be on our honeymoon. Doing all of the fun honeymoon things" Erin reached for Jay's hand and took ahold of it as she smiled up at him.

"Does all this suffering mean you'll let me put it anywhere?" Jay asked a sly smile forming on his lips.

Erin threw her head back as she laughed "In your dreams"

**0000000000000000**

**One Week Later**

"Listen, just sign the guest book and then you can go in and be a pain in the ass inside" Trudy Platt looked up at the couple who had picked up a wedding program and were currently standing in front of her reading over it, instead of signing the book.

"Chill out, Platt" Kelly Severide said looking up from his program.

"I'm just telling you, this isn't the hooked on phonics table, if you want to read, go to your seat and read. This is a tight ship I've got to run" Platt explained as she held the ink pen in her hand out to Kelly.

"This is a really beautiful venue. I like it a lot" Brittany said linking her arm through Kelly's as she looked around the building.

"A lot classier than some Vegas chapel" Platt commented under her breath and took the pen from Kelly.

"Real good seeing you, Platt" Kelly said with sarcasm as he took Brittany's hand and walked up the steps to where the ceremony was taking place.

"Real good seeing you, Platt" Trudy mimicked as she flipped to a new page in the guest book and looked up at the people in line talking.

"Who's next? This isn't social hour. Get moving"

**000000**

"You look so beautiful, Erin" Burgess complimented as she fastened the clasp on Erin's necklace.

"Thank you" Erin exhaled as she smiled wringing her hands together.

"I think I'm going to cry" Burgess stepped back as she looked at Erin.

The white strapless fit and flare wedding gown clung to Erin's frame in all of the right places before flaring out at her thighs into a pool of material with intricate details on the fabric. Erin's hair was pinned in a curled bun at the back of her head with her veil pinned in and cascading down her back. To dress fit her perfectly and to look at her, you couldn't even notice that she was pregnant yet.

Kim as Erin's maid of honor wore a strapless black cocktail dress with a white sash that tied at the middle. It was simple and elegant. Something that you could wear on more than one formal occasion. Erin told Kim that she could pick whatever dress she wanted as long as it stuck to the color theme of the wedding. Kim wore half of her hair pulled back and in loose curls. The black sandal heels she'd picked were already pinching her feet and she couldn't wait to take them off and cut loose on the dance floor.

"Don't cry" Erin said turning to look in the mirror.

She studied herself for a few long moments. She'd always invisioned this moment when she was a little girl, but she didn't think it would actually happen to her. If you'd have told the 16 year old version of Erin Lindsay that she'd be standing in a dress about to marry the man she loved more than she ever thought possible, she'd have thought they were crazy. But as the saying goes _"Every now and then, in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives you a fairy tale" _

A knock on the door took Erin from her thoughts and she looked over at the door as Kim walked over to open it.

"Sergeant Voight, you look nice" Burgess smiled as she opened the door and let Hank Voight inside.

"Thank you, Burgess. You clean up well" Voight offered with a nod.

"Thank you" Kim smiled.

She watched as Hank and Erin stared at each other for a few moments and she cleared her throat as she stepped towards the door. "I'm just going to go down the hall. I'll be right back"

Erin looked over from Voight to Kim and nodded as she watched her leave.

Hank studied Erin for a few long seconds. Of course she was a grown woman, living her own life and making her own choices. But at that moment, he saw the six year old girl who was standing in front of him lying about where her mommy and daddy were. He saw the 16 year old girl who called him from a payphone crying and pleading for him to come pick her up and rescue her from it all. And he saw the girl who took on so much responsibility when Camille got sick and passed away. She looked beautiful and happy and when he looked at her, the only thing he felt was complete and utter pride and love.

"You look beautiful" Hank offered as he stepped towards Erin.

"You don't look so bad yourself" Erin smiled as she looked at Hank. He wore a black suit with a long black tie and white dress shirt.

"I have something for you. It's not much" Hank said reaching into his pocket.

"Hank, really you didn't have to get me anything. You helped with the wedding and that was more than enough" Erin held up her hand as she talked to him.

"I know, but this is something that was meant to be yours for awhile" Hank pulled the black velvet box out of his pocket and handed it to Erin.

Erin ran her manicured nails across the box as she opened it revealing a pair of diamond earrings. Erin recognized them in an instant and her eyes welled with tears "Hank..."

"Camille would want you to have them. I mean, you have to have something old. That's just the tradition" Hank's raspy voice assured.

Erin looked down at the box in her hand and stepped towards Hank.

"I couldn't love anything more" She whispered and wrapped her arms around him.

Hank closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms around Erin as she pulled him into the hug. "My feelings exactly"

**0000000000000000**

"You ready for this, man?" Adam asked as he helped Jay slip his suit jacket on.

Jay nodded and reached down to fix his cufflink. "I've never been more ready for anything in my life"

"I gotta say, I'm kind of nervous. I'm kinda rethinking that Big Mac I had on the way over here" Ruzek said

"Nice man" Jay shook his head as Atwater made thier way over to them.

"It's go time" Kevin said looking down at his watch.

"Let's do this, boys" Adam said looking at Jay and Kevin.

"Let's do it" Jay took a deep breath and followed Atwater and Ruzek down the hallway.

The three men made their way down to the room where the ceremony was taking place. Jay was met by the wedding planner and he followed her to the front of the room as Kevin took his seat and Ruzek went to meet Kim so he could walk her down the aisle.

**00000000**

"You know, you shouldn't look this beautiful, it's not fair to the bride" Ruzek locked eyes with Kim as she laced her arm through his as they started to walk down the aisle to the string quartet in the corner began to play "Canon in D" by Pachelbel.

"You trying to seduce me, Ruzek?" Brugess asked through a smile as she and Adam started walking down the aisle.

"Maybe, is it working?" Adam asked through his own smile.

"Maybe. Have I mentioned to you that weddings make me super horny?" Kim asked her gaze sliding to the side to look at Ruzek as they made it to the end of the aisle.

"What?" Adam asked just as they reached the end and had to separate.

**00000000**

"You ready, kid?" Hank asked as they lined up behind the closed doors and he took a step forward.

"Wait" Erin said tightening her grip on his arm.

"You ok?" Hank asked.

Erin nodded "Yeah. I just need a second"

"If you want to go. We can forget all about this. People will just have to get the hell over it" Voight offered.

"No, I'm ready let's do it" Erin nodded and exhaled as she smiled.

"You sure?" Hank asked as Erin loosened her grip on his arm.

"Yeah. I'm ready" Erin said a smile forming on her face as she gave him one final nod.

**00000000**

The doors to the ceremony room opened as the string quartet started to play "Here Comes the Bride". And that was it for Jay Halstead. The vision of Erin in her dress walking towards him was like God giving someon a glimpse into Heaven. He would never be able to put into words how beautiful she looked but the simple "Wow" that Adam Ruzek whispered behind him came close to summing it up.

Erin's eyes didn't leave Jay's from the second the doors opened. The smile that was spread across her face echoed Jay's expression. There may have been 150 people in that room but the two of them only saw each other.

When they reached the end of the aisle Hank and Erin stopped in their steps and Jay stepped towards them as the music came to an end and the quartet stopped playing.

Hank held onto Erin's arm a few moments as he looked at Jay. He turned his head and looked at Erin and then back at Jay. "Don't screw this up, Halstead"

"Never sir" Jay assured as Hank removed his arm from Erin's and stepped back as she stepped towards him and took his hand.

"You look so beautiful" Jay smiled and he and Erin walked the few remaining steps to where the preacher was standing.

The preacher nodded to both Jay and Erin before he began to speak

"Dearly beloved, We are gathered here today, in the presence of God and in the face of family and friends, to join together this man And this woman in Holy Matrimony, which is an honorable estate instituted of God, since the first man and the first woman walked on the earth. Therefore, it is not to be entered intounadvisedly, or lightly, but reverently and this Holy Estate there two persons present now come to be joined. If any of you can show just cause why they may not be Married, speak now, or else for ever hold your peace"

"Who gives this woman to be married today?" The preacher asked.

"I do" Hank Voight said and he gave one last look at Erin and Jay before he turned and stepped back to his seat as the minister continued.

"Let us pray: Dear Lord, we ask your blessing for our bride and groom on this day of matrimony. We pray that the sacred commitments of this day will sustain them throughout their lives. May the love that binds them, be strong and lasting, and may their hearts be filled patience and understanding for one another. May they be blessed with health, courage, and good fortune, as their love and friendship deepens through the months and years of their lives. We pray that they find peace together. Amen"

Erin and Jay opened their eyes and looked at each other as the preacher adressed the crowd.

"As Jay and Erin stand before us, willing and able to commit to each other for a lifetime. we realize that marriage symbolizes the love and harmony that transcends everything in the universe. May we be encourages, to find the spiritual qualities that bring us all closer to one another, so that we may learn to truly love and respect each other, all the days of our lives" The preacher looked from the wedding guests to Jay and Erin who turned their heads to look at him.

"This is the day you have chosen to become husband and wife. We are here, not only to witness your commitment to each other, but also to wish you every happiness in your future life its framework of commitment,and loyalty, marriage enables the establishment of a home,where through trust, patience and respect, the love and affection, which you have for each other may develop into a deep and lasting relationship. We, who are witnessing your marriage, hope that despite the stresses inevitable in any life, your Love and Respect for each other, and your trust and understanding of each other will increase your contentment, and heighten your joy in living"

Erin and Jay both nodded and looked back at each other.

"Jay" the preacher started "Do you do you take Erin for your lawful wedded wife, Will you love, honor, comfort, And cherish her, From this day forward, Forsaking all others, Keeping only unto her, for as Long as you both shall live?"

"I do" Jay said with a smile his blue eyes radiating love as he looked at Erin.

The preacher nodded and looked at Erin.

"Erin, Do you do you take Jay for your lawful wedded husband, Will you love, honor, comfort, And cherish him, From this day forward, Forsaking all others, Keeping only unto him, for as Long as you both shall live?"

Erin nodded as a tear slid down her cheek. "I do"

The preacher smiled and looked at the crowd. "Erin and Jay have chosen to do their own vows. Jay, whenever you're ready"

Jay took a breath as he looked into Erin's eyes. "Two years ago, I was just a guy. Who had a crush on a girl who only saw me as her friend. And I had to spend two long years doing one of the hardest things I've done, wait. I know a lot of people thought we were crazy and didn't support the idea of us being together and working together, but it was all these moments. All these moments I had with you every day that we worked together. Simple moments that told me that I was waiting for my wife. Erin, I love you so much. I will always love you, you're my best friend and I will continue to support and love you through the good times and the bad. I love you" Jay took the wedding band from Ruzek and slipped it over her finger.

The preacher looked over at Erin and nodded that it was her turn.

"Jay, I don't even know what I could stand here and tell you to convey the way that I feel about you. I've always loved you, even on days that I didn't like you very much. Never has anyone challenged me, annoyed me, encouraged me and loved me the way that you have. You save me every single day and to be your wife and the mother of your children is the greatest gift I could ever be given. I will love you forever" Erin smiled as she took the wedding band from Burgess and slipped it on Jay's finger.

The preacher smiled and looked at Erin and Jay and then at the crowd.

"Now that Jay and Erin have given themselves to each other by solemn vows, And the joining of hands, and the giving and receiving of rings, I pronounce they are husband and wife, Those whom God had joined together, let no one put Asunder. May I be the first to present to you Mr. and Mrs. Halstead. Jay, you may kiss your bride"

"Finally" Jay said as he pulled Erin to him and lowered his lips to hers as the sound of applause echoed through the room

**0000000000000000**

Erin covered her mouth and yawned as she and Jay sat at Chicago O'Hare airport. The newlyweds flight had been delayed because of the rainstorm in Florida where they were going for their honeymoon.

"Babe, I think we should just get a hotel for the night. There's no way we're going to get a flight out tonight" Jay turned his gaze from the Weather Channel to Erin.

"You're probably right" Erin looked at the people around them. Most of them were settling in to spend the night at the airport. She didn't really want to spend her wdding night in the airport.

"I'll be back" Jay said he leaned down and kissed her quickly before he got up and walked over to the ticket counter.

Erin gathered up their bags as Jay came back. "I got us on the 10 am flight. So, let's go and get some rest"

Erin nodded and reached down for her bag "Sounds perfect"

"I've got it" Jay said picking up her duffel bag and tossing it over his shoulder.

**0000000000000000**

Jay stood against the window looking out at the city lights. He looked down at his wedding band. The silver band was perfect along with the inscription _"Put It Back On" _that Erin thought would be funny to have put inside the band. Jay wasn't sure what he'd done to be in the place that he was at this moment, but he knew that he was beyond thankful for this life. Everything had led him here and he wouldn't trade a single moment. Because as of 6:22pm this evening, Erin Lindsay officially became his wife and you don't forget a moment like that.

The sound of the bathroom door opening made Jay turn and his breath caught in his throat as he stared at Erin.

Her dirty blonde hair fell in waves down her shoulders and the silky black lingerie slip she wore clung to her. She leaned against the door and crossed one of her toned bare legs over the other.

Jay was speechless as he looked at her. The slip fell to the middle of her thighs and had a tiny slit in the fabric by her left leg. The way she leaned against the doorframe caused the slip to cling to the tinest hint of her belly and his gaze rose to her full breasts. The only thing that really gave off a clue that she was even pregnant at this point.

Erin suddenly felt self conscious as she felt Jay's gaze on her. "Is this..."

"You're beautiful" Jay said not taking his eyes off of her as he walked towards her.

"Thank you" Erin said as Jay made his way to her.

Jay stopped just in front of Erin and he raised his hand to her face and gently touched her cheek with his fingertips.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jay asked his blue eyes searching hers. His body was craving being with her, but he'd never forgive himself if he did anything to hurt her.

"I'm fine" Erin assured and she bit her lip as Jay leaned down and barely brushed his lips against hers and then crashed his mouth against hers.

More than a month of not being able to touch each other was having an instant effect on the just married couple. And pretty soon all forms of clothes were stripped as they made their way to the bed and laid down.

Erin leaned up to kiss Jay but he pulled back just out of her reach as he shook his head. She raised one eyebrow at him and his heart skipped.

"Just lie back Erin". He whispered as he reached out a finger and trailed in between her breasts and down to her stomach. He dipped it into her belly button and she giggled but she did as he asked, allowing her thighs to fall open with the movement.

Jay moved to the bottom of the bed and took her foot in her hand. He gently kissed her arch as his fingers massaged her foot gently. Erin's eyes fluttered closed again and she felt a shiver travel up her body. Jay smiled against her skin as he felt her shiver and he continued his ministrations.

He slowly kissed a heated path up her calf, to her thigh, peppering her skin with soft kisses as his fingers gently massaged her soft skin.

Erin moaned softly and she spread her legs wider as he moved closer to her core. Jay completely bypassed the area she was silently begging him to kiss and he moved back to the bottom of the bed and gave the same attention to her other leg, starting at her foot and slowly and torturously traveling up her left leg. Erin whimpered her protest and Jay chuckled.

"Come on Er. Patience is a virtue". Jay chuckled against the silky skin of her thigh as his fingers massaged the skin just before his lips caressed it. His fingers reached the juncture where he thigh met her body and his fingers flitted across her.

When he his mouth reached the same spot, Jay was overwhelmed with the heady scent of her arousal. He licked his lips as he fought the urge to busy his tongue inside her and devour her until he almost drown. He wanted to love her slowly. He wanted tonight to last as long as they could both make it last. He needed it to last so that it would last him until he was able to hold her and love her and taste her again.

Unable to resist just a taste however, Jay's tongue slipped between his lips and slowly ran his tongue along her folds, her glistening wetness coating it. Erin's hips arched off the bed as she moaned softly.

"Please Jay", She whimpered as she pressed her core against his tongue, begging him to ease the ache. Jay flicked his tongue against the tip of her clit a few times and Erin's entire body shuddered.

Losing himself like he knew he would, Jay plunged his tongue deep into her recesses as he placed his hands gently on her hips to hold her steady. It was only seconds before she cried his name again and her orgasm bathed his tongue and filled his mouth. Jay greedily drank from her as her body trembled violently.

He used his tongue to sooth her tender flesh and when her tremors subsided he gently kissed her folds and then the tip of her clitoris before he placed open mouthed kisses along the flat plane of her stomach.

He thrust his tongue into her belly button again, mimicking the movements he would be making inside her body in a few minutes.

Jay worshiped her body with his hands and his lips as he slowly moved up her body.

Erin slid her fingers in his hair and massaged his scalp gently. She felt so truly loved at that moment and tears stung the back of her eyes.

Jay reached her breasts and nibbled the soft underside gently, his tongue making soft circles along her skin. Erin's nipples puckered in anticipation of his lips reaching them. With the pressure of her hands, Erin urged Jay to take one in his mouth. Unable to deny her or himself, Jay closed his lips around one hard pink tip. He masaged it with his tongue as his hand took her other one and tweaked it gently between his fingers.

Erin arched her back as she begged him to take more of her in his hot mouth.

"Please Jay" She pleaded softly and Jay took at much of her mound into his mouth. He suckled her flesh gently yet firmly and he moaned. His teeth scraped against her nipple and he tugged gently on the nub.

Jay moved to her other breast and lavished it with the same attention, until finally Erin couldn't take any more and she pulled his head away from her breast and pulled his lips up to hers.

Erin slid her tongue into his mouth, the faint taste of herself still on his lips and she slid her tongue along his teeth. Jay opened his mouth willingly, granting her the entrance she sought and he settled between her thighs, his aching, throbbing cock resting gently at her entrance.

Erin lifted her legs and wrapped them around him, pulling him against her and the tip of his cock slipped between her folds. Jay slid into her body slowly, her wet velvet walls surrounding him completely.

Jay moaned into her mouth as his tongue danced with hers. He slid his arms under her shoulders and buried his fingers in the silky strands of her hair as Erin's fingers gently roamed over his back.

When Jay was fully inside her he remained still, reveling and savoring the feel of her, the slight tremors in her body as she adjusted to him gently massaging his aching flesh.

Erin pulled her lips away from his and tilted his face so she could look him in the eyes.

His eyes remained locked on hers as he began to move within her body. Slowly he pulled out almost completely before he slid slowly and gently inside her again. They developed a steady rhythm as they continued to watch each other, neither one wanting to look away, neither one wanting to break the connection they were feeling.

Erin's hips rocked against his, meeting him every time he would move himself within her again. The love she felt between them at that moment was more intense than she had ever felt before.

Erin's eyes slipped shut as she fought the orgasm that was quickly approaching. She didn't want it to end yet.

"Please look at me Erin" Jay begged as he felts the beginnings of her climax. Her walls gripped him and throbbed around his hard flesh and he stilled his movements, knowing that he would crash with her if he continued.

Erin opened her eyes at his soft plea and her body shook as the orgasm overtook her. Her eyes glazed over but she could still see him staring down at her, watching her with loving eyes.

Jay gritted his teeth as he fought his body's urge to follow her into oblivion. He kept his hips steady as he breathed deeply, waiting for her to come back within herself.

Erin's body continued to jerk as her breathing steadied. When she finished, she reached up and pulled his mouth down to hers again.

Jay kissed her deeply and began moving within her body again. This time more forcefully. He continued to kiss her, his tongue plunging into her mouth in the same steady rhythm as his cock plunged into her heated depths.

Finally, he felt the telltale tightening in his balls and he knew there was no holding back any longer. His thrusts became stronger and more erratic as he tried to help her catch up to him.

He pulled his mouth away from hers and buried his face in her neck. Erin knew he was close and tightened her thighs around him and tilted her hips slightly so that his shaft was rubbing against her clit as he thrust in and out of her. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tight, telling him without words that it was okay to let go.

"Erin", he whispered against her skin as his legs shook and he erupted inside her, his semen bursting from his tip and into her. His cock twitched violently and Erin felt him explode. She cried out as her walls clamped down around him again.

Jay groaned at the vise grip around his cock and his hips bucked, slamming against hers once more before he collapsed on her, his harsh breath tickling her neck.

"I love you", she murmured over and over again as their bodies continued to tremble. Erin turned her face and kissed his ear gently.

"I love you too, Mrs. Halstead"

**0000000000000000**

**I hope that you guys liked the chapter. I worked REALLY hard on trying to make this one live up to any Linstead Wedding expectations. I hope you liked it. **

**How did you guys feel about the episode of Chicago P.D? **

**Shirtless Jesse? + Sophia in her underwear? + Linstead kissing? **

**Thanks for reading, please review. **


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